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Girlfriend doesn't like oral (giving) watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    it essentially brought back bad memories
    Has she/will she have counselling?

    I do want it in our relationship .. worth trying to persuade her or should I just accept that it wont be a part of our relationship?
    Communication is key. She may feel able to compromise, in time, in the absence of pressure
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    Tell her 'do it or break up innit' and then she'll orbs do it if you got money, you get what I'm saying g
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    With regards to the taste just don't finish in her mouth. Reassure her again that she can go at her own pace and you won't do anything she's not comfortable with. Hopefully she'll get over what happened before, but it can take time.
    I was put off giving it for a while as a guy I was seeing held my head down, started ramming it down my throat, which was a horrible experience. Some guys can't seem to separate porn from real sex.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I found out it was really to do with a previous relationship where she was forced into doing things and it essentially brought back bad memories of that.

    Worth trying to persuade her or should I just accept that it wont be a part of our relationship?
    You trying to persuade her is coercion, and exactly what happened with her previous boyfriend. Ask her if she's comfortable with it if it really is a big issue for you, but if she says no just leave it. If she doesn't want to do it then she doesn't want to do it and you absolutely cannot force her to.
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    (Original post by fatima1998)
    this is a great example where SEX is the main part of maintaining a relationship :facepalm:
    I'm sorry but a comment coming from a virgin on this topic is utterly irrelevant
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    (Original post by Metrododo)
    I'm sorry but a comment coming from a virgin on this topic is utterly irrelevant
    doesn't matter! the point is that sex should not be a root of a relationship :noway:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Relatively new relationship.

    Cutting straight to the point, my gf doesn't like going down on me, which sucks (pun intended) big time as for me, this being my first relationship, it was a new experience and an amazing one at that. She sat down with me one day and told me she didn't like it, saying how she felt sick after a while. I dug deeper into the problem and I found out it was really to do with a previous relationship where she was forced into doing things and it essentially brought back bad memories of that. Plus she says she didn't like the taste of a certain something.. I'm sure you can finish that sentence in your head.

    Now at the time I made it very clear that it wasn't an issue and it was completely understandable, but now I've realized that I do want it in our relationship. I always give oral to her as I know she enjoys it, it's not exactly eating tasty strawberry shortcake but I still do it for the sake of her pleasure. Which makes me think why doesn't she do the same for me?

    I want to talk to her about it, maybe reassure her that it can be done at her pace and how she likes and I wont interfere like her previous bf did. Whats everyone's opinions on this? Worth trying to persuade her or should I just accept that it wont be a part of our relationship?
    Eat loads of pineapples.
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    (Original post by fatima1998)
    doesn't matter! the point is that sex should not be a root of a relationship :noway:
    For an asexual, you sure like to go on sex threads.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    For an asexual, you sure like to go on sex threads.
    yes! because they amuse me plus...
    Spoiler:
    Show
    you get more reps in these threads :shh:
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    (Original post by quinn f)
    You trying to persuade her is coercion, and exactly what happened with her previous boyfriend. Ask her if she's comfortable with it if it really is a big issue for you, but if she says no just leave it. If she doesn't want to do it then she doesn't want to do it and you absolutely cannot force her to.
    This. Saying you don't want to do something sexual should be enough. There doesn't need to be a reason. But the fact OP seems to be intent on 'persuading' his girlfriend to do something she doesn't want to do because she was forced to do it by her ex, suggests that OP doesn't give a **** about consent and just wants to get off.
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    (Original post by SmallTownGirl)
    This. Saying you don't want to do something sexual should be enough. There doesn't need to be a reason. But the fact OP seems to be intent on 'persuading' his girlfriend to do something she doesn't want to do because she was forced to do it by her ex, suggests that OP doesn't give a **** about consent and just wants to get off.
    (Original post by quinn f)
    You trying to persuade her is coercion, and exactly what happened with her previous boyfriend. Ask her if she's comfortable with it if it really is a big issue for you, but if she says no just leave it. If she doesn't want to do it then she doesn't want to do it and you absolutely cannot force her to.
    Ok ok, 'Persuade' wasnt the right word to use here. Of course I dont want to force it on her, I would never ever want to do anything like that. What I meant was bringing it up and seeing if she would still be up for doing it, if not then thats completely fine. I didnt mean to come off as sounding like I was going to push her to do it, if she wants to then fair play but if not then its fine, I'll move on
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok ok, 'Persuade' wasnt the right word to use here. Of course I dont want to force it on her, I would never ever want to do anything like that. What I meant was bringing it up and seeing if she would still be up for doing it, if not then thats completely fine. I didnt mean to come off as sounding like I was going to push her to do it, if she wants to then fair play but if not then its fine, I'll move on
    She's said 'no', so you don't ask again.
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    (Original post by SmallTownGirl)
    She's said 'no', so you don't ask again.
    She said no a long time ago, I'm talking months ago. My thoughts were that now weve been together for a while since she said it maybe now she might feel more comfortable and that its more of a permanent relationship rather than a fling if you catch my drift.
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    (Original post by SmallTownGirl)
    She's said 'no', so you don't ask again.
    In a sense that comfort and confidence is a lot better now, compared to what it once may have been.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She said no a long time ago, I'm talking months ago. My thoughts were that now weve been together for a while since she said it maybe now she might feel more comfortable and that its more of a permanent relationship rather than a fling if you catch my drift.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In a sense that comfort and confidence is a lot better now, compared to what it once may have been.
    I'm pretty sure if she changes her mind, she'll talk to you.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    For an asexual, you sure like to go on sex threads.
    My thoughts exactly... it's like a vegetarian that vehemently claims vegetables are tastier than meat without even trying it :rofl:
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    (Original post by Metrododo)
    My thoughts exactly... it's like a vegetarian that vehemently claims vegetables are tastier than meat without even trying it :rofl:
    It's actually more like a vegetarian saying meat shouldn't be the focus of a diet. Obvious and logical. Having or not having sexual attraction has nothing to do with understanding where sex should come into a healthy relationship
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    Dump her.
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    You giving her oral is your choice and her not giving you oral is her choice. Don't push her.
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    Either get used to it, make a compromise, or dump her.:dontknow:
 
 
 
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