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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I should also say that my parents are very negative and controlling and I'm really into cars and they put me down for every single thing I do. I recently did a service and changed some bits and bots out and they had a massive go at me for "wasting money". They're lazy and would rather that I did most of the work. I.e I' used to at one point be expected to hover, steam, make cups of tea, clean toilets etc.
    I understand that. What I'd do in your position is comply to their expectations partially, just enough to give me some leeway into doing what makes me happy. I think it's alright for you to do those chores every once in a while but definitely not to the point where it's just you working hard on your own everyday.
    Cars is a good passion to have! Have you ever considered joining a car community? The way I see it, as long as you have a means of income so you're financially stable after buying the parts for your car, I don't think you should have to be sorry for spending that money on it.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't know :/ and I'm definitely a massive pushover. I've never been self fish and put others before me as bad as that sounds.
    That doesn't sound bad...I'm pretty much the same

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    (Original post by Matrix123)
    I understand that. What I'd do in your position is comply to their expectations partially, just enough to give me some leeway into doing what makes me happy. I think it's alright for you to do those chores every once in a while but definitely not to the point where it's just you working hard on your own everyday.
    Cars is a good passion to have! Have you ever considered joining a car community? The way I see it, as long as you have a means of income so you're financially stable after buying the parts for your car, I don't think you should have to be sorry for spending that money on it.

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    My parents live in a fantasy world where everyone goes to Oxbridge to study and are magically good at everything, handsome, strong, etc so that's why they're always so disappointed in me. The sad thing is I work part time (5am -12pm college days so I can do my lessons simultaneously) to supplement my studies and I pay for my car, my car tax, petrol, insurance the whole lot and I also do the household shopping most of the time and I always pick up my mum from work and used to wake up super early to drop her off. Its like nothing I ever do is good enough for them, they will put me down for every little thing and god forbid if any of my ventures ever went wrong - i'd never hear the end of it. i.e. if I broke something or bought something that was faulty. Its come to a point where I've never involved them in anything in my life and try to keep them out of it because they criticise me so much. I don't think the blame lies with my parents I still believe its my pathetic nature.
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    The best help is self-help and not relying on advice from strangers on the Internet who know infinitesimal about your life except for the little synopsis you gave us.

    But I'd say your priority should be losing weight. You sound like you have lots of areas in which you are hoping to improve, which is good because it shows you're not accepting your situation and are willing to do whatever you can to improve. When your fat it destroys your self-confidence, yes I know they are exception of confident fat people, but they normally have something else such as exuberant charisma or remarkable intelligence/acumen.

    I don't think you should be spending too much time with your parents either. Get out of your comfort zone by thrusting yourself in harsh, uncomfortable environments. I.e Go to a shopping-centre and talk to a random pretty girl
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My parents live in a fantasy world where everyone goes to Oxbridge to study and are magically good at everything, handsome, strong, etc so that's why they're always so disappointed in me. The sad thing is I work part time (5am -12pm college days so I can do my lessons simultaneously) to supplement my studies and I pay for my car, my car tax, petrol, insurance the whole lot and I also do the household shopping most of the time and I always pick up my mum from work and used to wake up super early to drop her off. Its like nothing I ever do is good enough for them, they will put me down for every little thing and god forbid if any of my ventures ever went wrong - i'd never hear the end of it. i.e. if I broke something or bought something that was faulty. Its come to a point where I've never involved them in anything in my life and try to keep them out of it because they criticise me so much. I don't think the blame lies with my parents I still believe its my pathetic nature.
    Yeah, my parents want me to go to Oxbridge too. The high expectations we get from people essentially so close to us can be more disheartening when these are not met than those we set for ourselves. It's clear your parents do expect a lot from you. However, I'd say it's your parents' fault in part for the way you feel. I understand that they'd want you to help with everyday chores but I don't feel they should lumber you with them.
    You have a very busy schedule and I'd personally suggest making sure you still have time to relax on top of this. That's very important, especially when it comes back to the educational side of things.

    No one is perfect and I see that you blame yourself for this. I'd just recommend trying to go about a routine that suits you, fits in everything necessary, and try to get your parents to do some chores too. It may seem like they'll be disappointed even further but you need to decide if you're going to make a stand for yourself or let another opportunity pass on by.
    I've been struggling with a related issue recently, and I have to say, trying to do what made me happy instead of (the usual) acting depending on how it would affect others, has made me realise that it's painful but I feel like I have made some progress and makes me feel slightly happier about myself.

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    (Original post by Hirsty97)
    The best help is self-help and not relying on advice from strangers on the Internet who know infinitesimal about your life except for the little synopsis you gave us.

    But I'd say your priority should be losing weight. You sound like you have lots of areas in which you are hoping to improve, which is good because it shows you're not accepting your situation and are willing to do whatever you can to improve. When your fat it destroys your self-confidence, yes I know they are exception of confident fat people, but they normally have something else such as exuberant charisma or remarkable intelligence/acumen.

    I don't think you should be spending too much time with your parents either. Get out of your comfort zone by thrusting yourself in harsh, uncomfortable environments. I.e Go to a shopping-centre and talk to a random pretty girl
    My parents don't really let me go out and question everything I do. i.e. if I get a bad test result they'll blame it on my going out with friends etc. Secondly I had to resort to asking strangers on the internet because everything I've tried so far has back fired and I don't know how to fix this. Thank you for your input though.
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    (Original post by Matrix123)
    Yeah, my parents want me to go to Oxbridge too. The high expectations we get from people essentially so close to us can be more disheartening when these are not met than those we set for ourselves. It's clear your parents do expect a lot from you. However, I'd say it's your parents' fault in part for the way you feel. I understand that they'd want you to help with everyday chores but I don't feel they should lumber you with them.
    You have a very busy schedule and I'd personally suggest making sure you still have time to relax on top of this. That's very important, especially when it comes back to the educational side of things.

    No one is perfect and I see that you blame yourself for this. I'd just recommend trying to go about a routine that suits you, fits in everything necessary, and try to get your parents to do some chores too. It may seem like they'll be disappointed even further but you need to decide if you're going to make a stand for yourself or let another opportunity pass on by.
    I've been struggling with a related issue recently, and I have to say, trying to do what made me happy instead of (the usual) acting depending on how it would affect others, has made me realise that it's painful but I feel like I have made some progress and makes me feel slightly happier about myself.

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    I'm really glad things are looking up for you. But honestly I've been depressed and fed up for a while. I've decided I'm going to give weight loss a try but how successful my attempt will be is anyone's guess.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm really glad things are looking up for you. But honestly I've been depressed and fed up for a while. I've decided I'm going to give weight loss a try but how successful my attempt will be is anyone's guess.
    Thanks I'm not saying I'm fully recovered yet but yeah
    Is there anything else you like apart from cars? Like something that can help you to express yourself oe develop your thoughts (such as drawing, writing stories/a diary/songs, music).
    Working on weight loss should help. Exercising really does help physically and mentally so hopefully that will work out for you

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    (Original post by Matrix123)
    Thanks I'm not saying I'm fully recovered yet but yeah
    Is there anything else you like apart from cars? Like something that can help you to express yourself oe develop your thoughts (such as drawing, writing stories/a diary/songs, music).
    Working on weight loss should help. Exercising really does help physically and mentally so hopefully that will work out for you

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    Not convinced it will be my miracle cure but right now I'm willing to try anything. I don't think this world is right for nice guys.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not convinced it will be my miracle cure but right now I'm willing to try anything. I don't think this world is right for nice guys.
    OK, well hopefully it'll go well for you. That's one thing that confuses me sometimes, if I'm honest. A lot of the people who are nice end up getting hurt, but I guess it's whether you take the hit and keep moving forward or just stand still.

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    (Original post by Matrix123)
    OK, well hopefully it'll go well for you. That's one thing that confuses me sometimes, if I'm honest. A lot of the people who are nice end up getting hurt, but I guess it's whether you take the hit and keep moving forward or just stand still.

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    Its strange, all my besties go for the same type of guy that will abuse them over and over again and yet they cant explain why lol. They'll literally go out on a date with a nice guy and end up never texting him again even if they're attractive. People are work abuse the nice managers by working slowly, or taking time off or bunking off because they know they can get away with it. Its a shame! Well I've decided to start moving forward
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Its strange, all my besties go for the same type of guy that will abuse them over and over again and yet they cant explain why lol. They'll literally go out on a date with a nice guy and end up never texting him again even if they're attractive. People are work abuse the nice managers by working slowly, or taking time off or bunking off because they know they can get away with it. Its a shame! Well I've decided to start moving forward
    Hmmm...yeah, I don't quite get why some people do that. It's their loss I guess, until they (if they ever do) put an end to it. I'm glad to hear you're hoping to move forward! Good choice

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    Try going to the gym to lose weight to boost your confidence ?
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    (Original post by Mehodax)
    One thing I'll tell you is that you're not alone. There are so many others like you who have no idea what they are doing but trust me you will figure it out.
    One gift I will pass on to you is to join 'Quora'. Immediately.
    Why do you advise him to join Quora? Is it helpful in his situation?
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    Feeling a bit better today.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Feeling a bit better today.
    I'm glad to hear that! :yep:

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    (Original post by Matrix123)
    I'm glad to hear that! :yep:

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    Its starting to get better! Thank you so much! <3 <3 <3
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Its starting to get better! Thank you so much! <3 <3 <3
    That's fantastic news! No worries, it wasn't me; it was what you did But if you ever want to, you can always feel free to PM (I understand if you'd rather not - you're anonymous for a reason). Anyway, continue having a great day
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    (Original post by As That)
    Why do you advise him to join Quora? Is it helpful in his situation?
    If only you had gone through the Quora experience properly, you wouldn't even think of asking this!
 
 
 
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