He didn't go ahead and sleep with me

Announcements Posted on
How helpful is our apprenticeship zone? Have your say with our short survey 02-12-2016
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I doubt... I rarely use this. Still who do you think I am? Plus how is it distinct? Words are words.*
    the * that keeps popping up

    dead give away
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Cinamon Biscuit)
    the * that keeps popping up

    dead give away
    I think that's some general glitch? Going by some other responses on here, it seems to happen to others too because I haven't been randomly adding asterisks. (Read the second post)*
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think that's some general glitch? Going by some other responses on here, it seems to happen to others too because I haven't been randomly adding asterisks. (Read the second post)*
    ok L88
    Offline

    2
    These asterisks are everywhere, it's driving me crazy***
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Okay, actually getting on topic now...

    Look, the short of it is this; you're either ready or you're not. He's either ready, or he's not. Clearly not ready because whilst partially inside you he decided it wasn't the time. Congratulations, you've found someone who genuinely cares about you and how you feel to the point where at the crux of getting a lay he bails.

    Take it slow and steady; mind-blowing sex with this man will happen when you're both relaxed about the idea. Don't overthink what happened, go with the flow.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Definite homo.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    Okay, actually getting on topic now...

    Look, the short of it is this; you're either ready or you're not. He's either ready, or he's not. Clearly not ready because whilst partially inside you he decided it wasn't the time. Congratulations, you've found someone who genuinely cares about you and how you feel to the point where at the crux of getting a lay he bails.

    Take it slow and steady; mind-blowing sex with this man will happen when you're both relaxed about the idea. Don't overthink what happened, go with the flow.
    Thanks for your response, seriously! There's not been many addressing any of the issues so genuinely thanks, I appreciate it.

    *I have been feeling a little weird and didn't want to romanticise what happened in any way because then it's a downward spiral (getting more attached etc) but it helps that u agree that he does care or that I'm more than just a lay. I guess that is where it does get confusing... But hmm, maybe that's more a time will tell kind of thing.*

    I don't know if you saw my other post on this thread about creating some distance. Wondering if you had any thoughts on that? I just don't want it to be a too much, too soon and then nothing kind of jig.

    *We will see each other tomorrow for the first time since and a small part of me is anxious about it. *Because although it was a rejection for a good reason, I think (and not like eww not having sex with u lol), it's still a bit like I gave myself to him and he was like nah. So a little bit embarrassing if nothing else on that front. :/*
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Serine Soul)
    These asterisks are everywhere, it's driving me crazy***
    tell me about it. Anyone know why these are happening? Lol it's all anyone can focus on, it seems!!
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    He sounds proppa beta.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Radmanistan)
    Definite homo.
    (Original post by Danny the Geezer)
    He sounds proppa beta.
    lol here come the funny guys...
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lol here come the funny guys...
    Sure he didn't bang you cos you're butterz?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Danny the Geezer)
    Sure he didn't bang you cos you're butterz?
    can't be 100% bcz I can't read minds but he has been pursuing for now 2 months thereabouts and was rock hard and he seemed to really like what he saw so on that basis, I don't think so.*

    You're so charming btw. *
    Online

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lol here come the funny guys...
    I can relate to this... Although my story has nothing on yours lmao. The dude just distanced himself afterwards and I had to confront him. He said he didn't think it was fair on me since he just wanted something casual, he didn't want me to get hurt in the end. He didn't want to push things further.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Let me see if i read that right;
    you both went to a friends house --> he drove you home --> started up some hank panky in the car --> he refused to jack hammer you --> you're not particularly amused?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for your response, seriously! There's not been many addressing any of the issues so genuinely thanks, I appreciate it.

    *I have been feeling a little weird and didn't want to romanticise what happened in any way because then it's a downward spiral (getting more attached etc) but it helps that u agree that he does care or that I'm more than just a lay. I guess that is where it does get confusing... But hmm, maybe that's more a time will tell kind of thing.*

    I don't know if you saw my other post on this thread about creating some distance. Wondering if you had any thoughts on that? I just don't want it to be a too much, too soon and then nothing kind of jig.

    *We will see each other tomorrow for the first time since and a small part of me is anxious about it. *Because although it was a rejection for a good reason, I think (and not like eww not having sex with u lol), it's still a bit like I gave myself to him and he was like nah. So a little bit embarrassing if nothing else on that front. :/*
    I wouldn't worry too much about it. Going with the flow is the best option here. Instead of thinking about the what if's, just think of the now.

    Let's put it this way; regardless of if he's playing you or not, you're not going to find out until right at the end. So enjoy the moment, and what will happen will happen, for better or worse.

    I didn't see the other thread, but if you want to PM me a quick summary then feel free to do so. It'll be less of a distraction from posting here anyway.

    (Original post by Danny the Geezer)
    He sounds proppa beta.
    What's beta about being in tune with a woman's conflicting emotions? It shows understanding and respect.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lol here come the funny guys...
    What do you want us to say? He's acting like your daddy and not in the best way.


    He told you that you are not ready for sex, in his mind by having sex with you he is devaluing you as a person, it's childish and backward.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I would give yourself some distance to think about everything.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    I can relate to this... Although my story has nothing on yours lmao. The dude just distanced himself afterwards and I had to confront him. He said he didn't think it was fair on me since he just wanted something casual, he didn't want me to get hurt in the end. He didn't want to push things further.
    I was dealing with it fine until we had that night out together alone (referenced in the thread I linked). Since then the pull has been stronger where he seems to go out of his way for me. Like he used to always leave office bang on time whereas I'd leave like 5 mins later and he now hangs back and then waits outside till I come out.*

    I don't really acknowledge him at work because I'm paranoid about others clocking and he told me off (playfully) for it saying I should drop by his desk, talk to him etc *

    *Last week he was having a bad day at work and asked me to join him after for a quick drink and said I made his whole day better just by spending those 45 odd mins with him.*

    Before we would go to places separately so to be discreet near places around work but then this week he invited me out for lunch and we walked about a mile away from where we work and he couldn't stay away from holding my hand even though I ushered him off saying someone from work is bound to see. But every few mins his hand would find itself interlocked with mine.*

    On top of all that, there's this look he gives me when I am mid sentence like it looks like just this intense look of affection. I've told him not to look at me like that and he just says he can't help it. My ex used to give me that look when he found me "adorable" like a "I can't believe u actually exist but I'm so glad u do" look. And lately there's random hugs/squeezes that follow this look.*
    *
    Until all this happened I was fine with a small flirt in the office and a random kiss here and there is it supposed to be so confusing? And I'm scared there's all this build up and was convincing myself it's just the extent some people go to for sex but now obv recent events have thrown me and I want to distance myself but it kind of makes me want him/like him more.*
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Radmanistan)
    What do you want us to say? He's acting like your daddy and not in the best way.


    He told you that you are not ready for sex, in his mind by having sex with you he is devaluing you as a person, it's childish and backward.
    I don't think it's that. We are both quite similar or so it seems and it's this fear that our dynamic will change. We have expressed it many times explicitly and implicitly and I think i hesitated a little too.*

    I'm not looking for you to doctor any responses. Just sometimes writing things down and getting some outside input helps gain a little perspective. Also therapeutic just to get it out there, that's all.*

    Ps: I did genuinely find ur response funny my lols are always genuine. I don't give them away like all the lol whores.*
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    I wouldn't worry too much about it. Going with the flow is the best option here. Instead of thinking about the what if's, just think of the now.

    Let's put it this way; regardless of if he's playing you or not, you're not going to find out until right at the end. So enjoy the moment, and what will happen will happen, for better or worse.

    I didn't see the other thread, but if you want to PM me a quick summary then feel free to do so. It'll be less of a distraction from posting here anyway.



    What's beta about being in tune with a woman's conflicting emotions? It shows understanding and respect.
    thanks, I needed to hear that. Funnily enough it was the approach I had taken so far (to just go with it). But perhaps with all the little affectionate happenings over the last two weeks + the events of Friday being so intense and having a lot of time this weekend to think about things, everything has gotten mixed up in my head.*

    I think I wanted something really black or white but that was never going to happen and I just need to adjust to the idea of "grey".*

    Thanks for your input again *
 
 
 
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: July 11, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Today on TSR
Poll
Wake up and smell the...

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.