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I intend to live my whole life in the closet, is that wrong? Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't agree that your sexuality is who one is. I am a person beyond my sexuality, I aspire to achieve great things and I certainly believe I have self worth, the only difference is I like guys but I will never be with one, that doesn't make me a non-person, I'll still be happy, I'll still be fun and have my same personality.
    then you're full of shame and that's truly sad.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It wouldn't necessarily be a lie. I could still love my children, and I could make both my wife and family very happy, it wouldn't be a sad life, I'd just have a terrible secret that I would not tell said wife.

    I'm not homophobic, I have nothing against gay people but I just cannot see myself being openly gay, it would change my entire life, like I couldn't imagine doing all the things I currently do with a boyfriend, for example, I literally cannot imagine bringing a boyfriend to the horse races as my friends do with their girlfriends because it would feel wrong, like out of place and I'd feel so embarrassed.
    It WOULD be a lie. You would not be who your wife or children think you are and if they ever found out, it could cause irreparable damage to them and their relationship with you - I've seen it happen to a friend of mine who went completely off the rails after her dad revealed he's actually gay and had known for decades. It's especially not fair on your wife if you didn't tell her. Everything she'd "know" and believe about you would be based on a lie. She'd think you really love and are attracted to her when you don't/can't be. Finding out would damage her self-esteem and confidence.

    I'm not saying you necessarily need to be out of the closet - you can be gay and single or gay and in the closet (though I don't recommend the latter) if gay relationships/attractions really repulse you that much. I am lesbian and I don't intend on ever coming out to my dad or having a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone of either gender.

    Just don't mislead people to get what you want out of life. That is very wrong, tbh.

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    Why does everyone seem to think that life is defined by one's sexuality? I thank everyone for your advice and for telling me what I intend to do is wrong but frankly I see no other option for myself. If I was openly gay my entire life would change for the worse and I'm choosing not to destroy my life just for my sexuality.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why does everyone seem to think that life is defined by one's sexuality? I thank everyone for your advice and for telling me what I intend to do is wrong but frankly I see no other option for myself. If I was openly gay my entire life would change for the worse and I'm choosing not to destroy my life just for my sexuality.
    Like I said, you can be gay and single without telling anyone your true sexuality. Plenty of unmarried bachelors who never commit to anyone.

    It's hardly like you have no other option! No one is insisting or even asking that you "destroy [your] life". We're just suggesting you don't destroy anyone else's...

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why does everyone seem to think that life is defined by one's sexuality? I thank everyone for your advice and for telling me what I intend to do is wrong but frankly I see no other option for myself. If I was openly gay my entire life would change for the worse and I'm choosing not to destroy my life just for my sexuality.
    I agree sexual orientation is a minor part of your life: that said, choosing between refraining from relationships entirely, lying to your family, or coming out is a big decision that will impact you greatly. I'm curious as to why you think coming out will ruin your life- you're not necessarily wrong, since perhaps you live in a place where homophobia would put your life at risk if you do come out. However perhaps you're not in that sort of situation, and actually if you worked on it coming out could do you a lot of good. We can't tell you the correct answer, but I think it would be worth you considering the choice for a little longer, since relationships are a significant part of life.
 
 
 
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