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Rejected my best guy friend...don't know what to do to make it better watch
- 22-07-2016 11:16
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do"
- 22-07-2016 11:19
- 22-07-2016 11:20
- 22-07-2016 11:23
I think you'll end up being flatmates and still have those feelings and even if you don't get together there may be arguments if you pull other people. Maybe when you're flatmates you can see where it goes.
- 22-07-2016 12:32
(Original post by marmex)
- 22-07-2016 14:43
Hello, so I've never really done this before but I'm desperate for help.
In my group of friends at Uni there was this guy. Didn't think much of him for the first semester but when we returned from Winter break we got to know each other better and very quickly became very close friends. We started hanging out alone a lot. One drunken night we ended up kissing. We talked about it the day after and agreed everything was good between us and that it was "no big deal".
However, a week or so later he promised to take me to the train station at 5 AM so we stayed up all night together instead of sleeping. We watched movies and stuff but in the middle of it ended up kissing again. We laughed it off and claimed if we were both mature people it didn't have to affect our friendship just like he previous time hadn't. While I was away we talked every day and he told me he missed me and stuff. We promised we wouldn't do anything stupid because next year we were going to be flatmates and we didn't want to ruin anything (our friends were already hassling us about being too close and such).
However, as you all probably guessed, we didn't really stick to our word and stuff kept happening between us. He admitted to having feelings a few weeks before summer and I admitted to feeling something as well, but we promised we would go about summer normally, since we weren't together or anything and would be apart for 4 months. Yet, it was kind of evident that both of us were unsure of how the other would feel if either of us hooked up with someone else while we were away. We kept talking during the summer, cute words would be exchanged from time to time and we talked on the phone occasionally when we had something important to catch up on as well.
However, yesterday night while he was out drinking with his friends, he put me on the spot and texted me asking for a clear answer on whether we would be together when we came back in September or not. It was a very hard decision for me to make, especially because I hadn't expected to have to deal with the situation until September, but I had to tell him that due to the circumstances (living together during the upcoming academic year, and being in the same group of friends, and being such close friends) that we might be better off as friends.
He respected my decision but soon got very frustrated at me and my reasoning. He told me he finally realized the saying "nice guys finish last" was true and that he would need a couple days or so to "reconsider his perspective on things" and figure things out.
I understand that I have to give him his space and let him cool off. However, I am terrified that I have just lost my best friend and worried he won't want to live with me next year (we are staying with two other people in the flat as well).
Any thoughts on what I should do or what to expect of him are all appreciated..!!
sorry if that sounds harsh but speaking from experience it will benefit you both
(Original post by marmex)
- 22-07-2016 15:13
Thanks jaja yeah, no, I'm aware it's not going to be an easy task. But I'm hoping we can both be mature about things and not let feelings get the best of us or drive us to do something that would have us back on treacherous waters.
You're going to find yourself in the awkward position where he doesn't know how much time to spend hanging out with you.
Worst case scenario, you end with a flat mate that you live with when he or you decide that you just need to stay away from each other for a bit.Last edited by Tombola; 22-07-2016 at 15:15.
- 23-07-2016 01:56
Lol obviously he's not exactly your guy best friend, sounds like a little more than that. You're sending him mixed signals, kissing him then pushing him away, kissing him then pushing him away, then he asks you out and you reject. Seriously? Go through with your feelings, you obviously feel something more from him. Either way things are going to be awkward, you might as well give t hings ago, he probably sees you in a different light now and I doubt that will change tbh