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Parents won't support me at University (Financially) Watch

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    Would the OP be able to ask their uni for advice?
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    (Original post by Darelz)
    Would the OP be able to ask their uni for advice?
    I thought this would be SFE's business. What do you think i should ask my uni?
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    (Original post by MCPC247)
    I thought this would be SFE's business. What do you think i should ask my uni?
    About what they would prefer you to do. Some unis are completely against working while studying, others may prefer you working while studying to deferring a year. Others still might provide other options. I thought it might be worth asking your uni to see what methods of you getting the money they permit.
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    (Original post by MCPC247)
    I thought this would be SFE's business. What do you think i should ask my uni?
    Tbh it's nothing to do with student finance at this point. Unfortunately they can't deal with parents refusing to help.
    Your best bet would be to talk to your university and see what help is available. Also start looking for a summer job and jobs during holidays.



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    (Original post by TimmonaPortella)
    No, of course not. I can't imagine anything more legitimate to ask your parents to help with than an investment in your education.

    Personally I think a system that gives rise to these situations is completely stupid, and that substantial loans should be available to all students. I can see absolutely no justification for the present fact that a student whose parents refuse to help him is in a far worse position than a student whose parents just can't afford to. Unfortunately, though, it is what it is, and you'll have to work around it.

    Avoid taking on too much work while you're at university if you possibly can. You're supposed to be concentrating on your degree.
    You do realise there's a big difference between not wanting to do something and not being able to. Parents who can't have no choice. Parents who won't have the choice and the means to give money. Student finance can't deal with parents not wanting to do certain things because it's long and hard to prove.
    No matter the system certain people will always be at a bigger advantage. SF just thinks that this is the fairest system.


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    Your parents think they are helping, by teaching you to stand on your own two feet. They're just doing it a bit sooner than a lot of parents do. Some parents kick their kids out when they're 16. But things were very different when your mum was at uni, and if her parents were poor she probably got a grant. Old people are very fond of reminiscing about their past and trying to argue that everybody should behave the same now.

    You could try telling them that you've worked out the finances and being responsible and practical about it you won't be able to afford to go to uni, so they had better get used to the idea they won't be able to brag to their friends about their brilliant offspring, or if they DO suggest you go they had better start saving for the care home because you'll be too busy paying off your huge debts to support them in their dotage. But I don't think they re going to budge.

    And as people have pointed out, if you are estranged from your parents (ask them if that's what they are hoping for?) or over 25 you will get more loan anyway. Or you could look at an alternative to uni, like an apprenticeship. In ten years time you may well be thanking your parents for throwing you in the deep end of adulthood, difficult as that may be to swallow now.
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    No it isn't bad of you to expect the system to work the same way for you as it does for other students (even though it is a rubbish system) But they can't be forced to pay up... and to be honest I think it has to be that way. At least you are not being effectively blackmailed as in "We'll support you but only to do X subject or to live at home", but it must be rough to have to cough up for a student who has taken a very casual approach, is motivated solely by postponing personal responsibilities and having 'a good time' and has no significant intentions of studying even just hard 'enough'. I'd like to think (as a parent who is going to be eating a lot of beans on toast) they could be shamed into it (not by you) but that's unlikely. Do you have cousins or do their friends have children who have been supported financially?

    Have your parents had any involvement in the 'paperwork'. Did they supply information for SFE or did they refuse straight off? It might be useful for them to see it all in black and white, the implications of their decision (and perhaps the timing of it)

    Presumably you are currently living at home, so possibly they are 'paying for you' right now in terms of food, bills etc. Do they know that you are considering not going? What is their plan in that eventuality? Are they chucking you out? You get a job and pay them the full cost of you remaining at home? Or take a deferred year and go after a year in work? What have their expectations been for you over this Summer?

    Have you been the habit of having financial expectations of them for other things? Did they always give you warning of their attitude to post-18 financial support?

    It can be exasperating to see what other students get (my own particular frustration is peers of my son who get the maximum because one or both parents were incompetent in their relationship... although I rationalise that our situation is better than the bizarre situation that someone who moves in with someone with a teenager is regarded as financial responsible for them in terms of student finance) But it will only divert you from the crucial business of dealing with your own situation.
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    (Original post by MCPC247)
    Hi,
    I've just finished my A levels and I'm planning to go to uni in October (outside London). However, as the title says, my parents are not prepared to contribute towards any costs.
    My parents earn quite a lot of money and as a result my maintenance loan won't even cover my accommodation costs. Their income also means I'm also not eligible for grants and bursarys.
    I have a friend whose parents don't earn much and so he is entitled to the maximum maintenance loan. He will also receive £1.5k/year from a means based scholarship. In addition to this, his parents will also be contributing. I think i'm getting jealous? He will have roughly 3-4 times the amount of money available for food etc compared to what I will have.
    Is it bad of me to ask my parents for help when they don't want to?
    Is there anything I can do with SFE?
    What do you guys recommend?
    How awful for your parents not to want to contribute and invest in your future. Surely as parents they should be proud that you will be going to University and have this opportunity. :confused:
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    Yeah estrangement or independence is the only way to get more finance, unfortunately estrangement is no contact at all with your parents and you need someone to verify this. I currently receive estranged student finance and even if your parents won't support you there's not much student finance will do it has to have been a fairly long period of estrangement which is seen to be permanent. I think it's awful that the finance goes on parents income, at the end of the day it is the students paying it back and it is irrelevant how much your parents earn if they won't support you anyway, and they shouldn't have too.

    Do you have any other family members you could discuss support with?

    Also there is the opportunity to get an interest free overdraft with a student account which you could use to tide you over whilst looking for a job.

    Ring your university of choice as well, many universities have funds to support students that fall in to these type of situations, the conditions differ from uni to uni, some can offer reduced accommodation or bursarys. The best person to talk to will be the financial department at your chosen uni.
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    (Original post by poem09)
    How awful for your parents not to want to contribute and invest in your future. Surely as parents they should be proud that you will be going to University and have this opportunity. :confused:
    IT maybe that they can't. We don't know the reasons why they won't support him.
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    (Original post by Seamus123)
    IT maybe that they can't. We don't know the reasons why they won't support him.
    Well he/she did state that the parents do have money, but they just refused and said to get a job. I can understand the getting a job part, but for parents to not want to help out their son or daughter financially in some small way is just cruel in my opinion.
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    Was wondering if the OP would be able to manage if he were to do the course Part Time at Uni ? The fees would be less and he could find a job,hopefully.
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    Just thought of something else. What if one of your parents were to write a letter to Student Finance stating that even though their income is above the threshold they confirm that they intend to give you no financial help whatsoever so you will therefore require funding? If they had something in writing to that effect they would know you will need financial help from somewhere.
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    (Original post by MCPC247)
    My parents, my mum especially, came from a relatively poor family and so she was working from an early age, which i think is where she gets her mindset from. She told me how she used to work a lot during uni and she would give money to her parents to support them as well.
    She would have had free university tuition and a significant grant (ie free money) neither of which are available now.

    But some students do work part-time and their CVs are all the better for it.

    See if you can come to some arrangement with your parents were they, for example, cover accommodation costs, and you cover the rest through your loan plus potentially some work. And you can work during the holidays too.

    After all I presume they don't charge you rent for living at home do they (?), so it would be reasonable for them to cover university rent too.


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    (Original post by jonathanemptage)
    could you apply as a independent student for a non means tested loan you might have to get a job and work a little (in bars or at the uni probably) but thats your best bet
    (Original post by markova21)
    Just thought of something else. What if one of your parents were to write a letter to Student Finance stating that even though their income is above the threshold they confirm that they intend to give you no financial help whatsoever so you will therefore require funding? If they had something in writing to that effect they would know you will need financial help from somewhere.
    Only if they have been financially estranged for 3 years. Or are over 25.

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    (Original post by jneill)
    Only if they have been financially estranged for 3 years.

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    Oh. Then as I see it the OP has two choices. Either see if the part time route is viable or put off going to uni for a few years until he can afford it himself. Or wait the full 3 years so he will officially be "financially estranged" from his parents.
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    wow that is so difficult
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    (Original post by MCPC247)
    Hi,
    I've just finished my A levels and I'm planning to go to uni in October (outside London). However, as the title says, my parents are not prepared to contribute towards any costs.
    My parents earn quite a lot of money and as a result my maintenance loan won't even cover my accommodation costs. Their income also means I'm also not eligible for grants and bursarys.
    I have a friend whose parents don't earn much and so he is entitled to the maximum maintenance loan. He will also receive £1.5k/year from a means based scholarship. In addition to this, his parents will also be contributing. I think i'm getting jealous? He will have roughly 3-4 times the amount of money available for food etc compared to what I will have.
    Is it bad of me to ask my parents for help when they don't want to?
    Is there anything I can do with SFE?
    What do you guys recommend?
    Same situation here, bro.
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    Wow, this is a tough situation.

    Times have changed so much since your parents went to uni and maybe they aren't fully aware of how much.



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    I was in the same situation before I went to uni. I was actually living on my own, working full-time and was completely financially independent before I decided to go to university so asking my mum for money came as a bit of a shock and she was dead against it at first.

    The first thing I did was research as much as possible the cost of living. Find out how much the halls are, estimate how much a weekly shop will be, other expenses like clothes, haircuts, etc. Make a budget for the entire first year of university.
    Minus off your student loan. Minus off working 16-24 hours a week at minimum wage (this is how much I worked during first year and it was manageable). The remainder is what you need to approach them for and put your case across when asking for their help. If you break it down into a monthly payment it looks smaller!
    You didn't mention whether you are working now or not - but get a job for the few months left before the start of uni and try to save as much as possible, also tell them that you plan to work full time over holidays at Christmas and summer.

    If they still aren't keen on giving you a hand, there are a number of private student loans companies where you can take out up to £40,000 to fund your studies but I'd keep those as a last resort.
 
 
 
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