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Growing up without a Dad - what's the impact on women? watch

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    (Original post by Bill_Gates)
    Outlier? black community has dis-proportionally lack of fathers and has one of the highest crime, welfare dependency, unemployment etc.
    Again correlation vs causation.

    Is it the lack of fathers that is causing it?

    or that there is less income coming into the house?

    that they live in an impoverished area ect?

    Or a mixture of several things?

    There are a lot of things to be taken into account and it's very hard in social sciences to pinpoint one cause.


    but anyway I was mainly talking about your friends specifically. Sure not having fathers around may have negatively impacted them, or it could have been something else? I don't think you should assume where your friends are involved.
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    I know my dad, we get along for the most part but he's a bit flaky lmao. Since my parents split up I don't see him a lot, I actually didn't meet him until I was 6 months old because he was in prison (different story for a different day) - overall I'm somewhere in between having a dad and not having a dad. My older sisters who had him the whole time growing up, I would say are far more stable. I've also been told by multiple ex boyfriends that I'm emotionally unavailable, have commitment issues and daddy issues. My sisters older than me are all in stable relationships.

    I do think not having a proper dad has a negative effect on the individual
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    they get really clingy and want you to be their daddie
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    I grew up without a Dad on and off for the first 8 years of my life. Then he became non existant in my life after that. I actually thought about it a while ago on how it impacted me and i feel as if I find it really difficult to get close to guys, even if it's just in terms on friendships. I also feel that developing a relationship with a guy is almost close to impossible. I don't mean to sound depressing or anything but i sometimes feel like I won't ever experience love from a guy, or know how it feels.
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    I despise my dad and I think he's awful. I'm a hopeless romantic and feel like I need a man in my life, which is opposite to the "slut with daddy issues" stereotype. I guess I do like to be validated by men? I don't know how its had an impact on me, but I do see men in a bad light because of him.
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    J Cole Daddy's Little Girl
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    (Original post by Bill_Gates)
    Growing up without a Dad - what's the impact on women?

    So i've noticed some of my girl mates, tend to be going off track. The only thing in common is they don't have a strong male character in their lives.

    This can't be a coincidence?
    I'm a woman who grew up without a Dad and I don't believe I suffered any ill consequences. I actually think I would have struggled more growing up without a mother figure. I know my brother found it much harder not having a dad around than I did.
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    (Original post by neal95)
    they seem to have mixed up relationships with men, and the ones I know in this situation are very promiscuous- they think that somehow sleeping with lots of men they are proving a point to themselves that they don't need "the one man" in their lives. I think it stems from an inherent need to be loved by many men as its something they didn't have when growing up
    Pretty much this.

    Women without fathers typically go one of two ways:

    1) Most common route as mentioned above is they become slutty as hell or clingy/dependent as hell trying to get validation from men that they never got from their absent father

    2) Other route is they turn into ultra feminists / "independent women who dont need no man" because they grew up with only female influence & they didnt have male influence to keep them in check.
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    The only thing I've noticed with girls who've had a terrible father of no father in their life, is that they don't trust men easily. They tend to need more time to get comfortable with you and are more wary when a new guy approaches them.

    (Talking about situations where the dad was an arse. Not situations where they may have lost their father to any other unfortunate circumstances)
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    Nicki Minaj had problems with her dad.
    So did Rihanna
    Beyonce too.

    They grew up to be successful! I think its much more serious when you dont have a mother figure or when you lose both your parents. E.g Scott Disick lost both his parents young and he has gone through a lot .
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    (Original post by PrincessBO$$)
    Nicki Minaj had problems with her dad.
    So did Rihanna
    Beyonce too.

    They grew up to be successful! I think its much more serious when you dont have a mother figure or when you lose both your parents. E.g Scott Disick lost both his parents young and he has gone through a lot .
    Lol "Lord" Disick is a joke :lol:
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    (Original post by Bill_Gates)
    Growing up without a Dad - what's the impact on women?

    So i've noticed some of my girl mates, tend to be going off track. The only thing in common is they don't have a strong male character in their lives.

    This can't be a coincidence?
    I think it's different for all different people - I wouldn't want to insult single mothers or same sex parents who bring up children by claiming that it's universally damaging.

    That said, I grew up in a house full of women, only seeing my Dad occasionally until he died when I was 11 so I had basically no male role model whilst growing up at all.

    I have to say I was very promiscuous as a teenager and I do put this down to losing my Dad. I'd had my only male influence taken away from me and I think I was trying to replace that in the only way that was open to me at the time.

    As a young adult though I'm an incredibly balanced person and it hasn't done me long term harm. Perhaps I'm slightly more reserved and shy with men than other people are but barely in a significant way.
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    (Original post by drowzee)
    I despise my dad and I think he's awful. I'm a hopeless romantic and feel like I need a man in my life, which is opposite to the "slut with daddy issues" stereotype. I guess I do like to be validated by men? I don't know how its had an impact on me, but I do see men in a bad light because of him.
    aw, well at least you know it. My friend's dont. One of them is an absolute social media narcissistic type. She's been through 4 guys in like a month now?!

    I really do feel for these girls tbh. Like i never seen the pattern before but NOW I DO! But i'm not sure what i can do?
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    (Original post by Bill_Gates)
    x
    Tbf it's a pretty good reflection of your character if you wanna do something to help these girls where you've noticed something you find worrying but there's no easy way to go about it. Sometimes dropping a slight tentative word on someone's behaviour in a non judgemental way can be helpful but there's absolutely 100% no guarantee someone's going to change their behaviour, regardless of whether they know or even admit you're right. You really can't change some people.However i think you'd be wrong to say that there is a real correlation between not having a father figure and being promiscuous. There's a multitude of things that go on in women's development (And people's development in general) and honestly, there are lots of girls that have grown up without fathers I know that are in very stable relationships. As for trust issues/ struggling to settle into a relationship - that could be down to a million things. People are complex. Sure in some cases an absent father might result in someone behaving in an unhealthy way - for others it could result in them behaving in a healthy way e.g. if they had an especially strong mother figure. And that doesn't even begin to focus on the fact people can move beyond their upbringings and find their own ways of being comfortable with themselves.Also, if you're talking about narcissism, seeking validation, attention, or whatever through social media, or dating lots of guys, not committing to relationships, being sexually promiscuous. That's down to a whole range of things, and it's more a cultural/ societal issue/ symptom of the times. For one thing, there are girls that actually enjoy behaving in that way, as in just find it fun/ thrilling and don't want to be tied down. For others, it's often the behaviour of males around them, this whole noncommittal thing that generally goes on amongst young people - well i've noticed it anyway. There's so much sleeping around nowadays without being exclusive, mainly because guys want to get a full run of 'experience' and then girls clock onto that and say, oh why shouldn't I do the same. It's just become a way of life. And particularly with social media, we're all constantly playing into this thing of girls needing to be attractive, take selfies for validation etc. Even recently Emily Ratajowski did an interview where she said it was entirely right for girls to post photos for attention. I didn't agree with her interview but there you go. The culture exists. It's more about that than upbringing i'd say. You can move on, fight against your upbringing but you can't really change the cultural conditions around you.Those are my very muddled confusing thoughts on the matter!
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    (Original post by banoffeee)
    Tbf it's a pretty good reflection of your character if you wanna do something to help these girls where you've noticed something you find worrying but there's no easy way to go about it. Sometimes dropping a slight tentative word on someone's behaviour in a non judgemental way can be helpful but there's absolutely 100% no guarantee someone's going to change their behaviour, regardless of whether they know or even admit you're right. You really can't change some people.However i think you'd be wrong to say that there is a real correlation between not having a father figure and being promiscuous. There's a multitude of things that go on in women's development (And people's development in general) and honestly, there are lots of girls that have grown up without fathers I know that are in very stable relationships. As for trust issues/ struggling to settle into a relationship - that could be down to a million things. People are complex. Sure in some cases an absent father might result in someone behaving in an unhealthy way - for others it could result in them behaving in a healthy way e.g. if they had an especially strong mother figure. And that doesn't even begin to focus on the fact people can move beyond their upbringings and find their own ways of being comfortable with themselves.Also, if you're talking about narcissism, seeking validation, attention, or whatever through social media, or dating lots of guys, not committing to relationships, being sexually promiscuous. That's down to a whole range of things, and it's more a cultural/ societal issue/ symptom of the times. For one thing, there are girls that actually enjoy behaving in that way, as in just find it fun/ thrilling and don't want to be tied down. For others, it's often the behaviour of males around them, this whole noncommittal thing that generally goes on amongst young people - well i've noticed it anyway. There's so much sleeping around nowadays without being exclusive, mainly because guys want to get a full run of 'experience' and then girls clock onto that and say, oh why shouldn't I do the same. It's just become a way of life. And particularly with social media, we're all constantly playing into this thing of girls needing to be attractive, take selfies for validation etc. Even recently Emily Ratajowski did an interview where she said it was entirely right for girls to post photos for attention. I didn't agree with her interview but there you go. The culture exists. It's more about that than upbringing i'd say. You can move on, fight against your upbringing but you can't really change the cultural conditions around you.Those are my very muddled confusing thoughts on the matter!
    Thanks for the post. I agree with some points, i know humans are very complex and it's never black and white. Also i'm not saying EVERY woman has these traits but i've merely picked up on some sort of trend. I see similar characteristics in their behaviour. I've been talking to them for a while.

    I think having a strong father figure in your life is very important for a girl, much more important than we are leading on. I know we like to turn to capitalism to solve all of our problems i.e money can provide certain aspects but money can't set boundaries or set an example.
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    (Original post by Bill_Gates)
    Thanks for the post. I agree with some points, i know humans are very complex and it's never black and white. Also i'm not saying EVERY woman has these traits but i've merely picked up on some sort of trend. I see similar characteristics in their behaviour. I've been talking to them for a while.

    I think having a strong father figure in your life is very important for a girl, much more important than we are leading on. I know we like to turn to capitalism to solve all of our problems i.e money can provide certain aspects but money can't set boundaries or set an example.
    Yeah as a girl I can safely say you'd struggle to find a real correlation between absent father more than absent mother, or other types of 'neglect' or trauma, in terms of what makes a girl 'go off track'. A range of things can contribute to it.

    I don't think it's easy for a girl growing up without a dad having said that. Anyway, trying to fix people never works out, they have to fix themselves I guess.
    And I didn't get your point about money, can you try to rephrase it?
 
 
 
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