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    I can see where you're coming from. I'm a BBC myself (I used to think that also meant being a member of the TV corporation! Silly me!) and I know how you're feeling to an extent. I was picked on when I was younger cos I was an easy target and I could not speak any english (this was after spending a year in Hong Kong). Luckily stuff like that happened less and less as I got older but I still got teased a bit when I was in my early teens. It sounds like you've had a rough time with people around you. From your post it sounds like you're a nice, intelligent and friendly guy. I would ignore those false friends. I know that wherever you live, you may think that the world revolves round there and that everyone else is gonna be like the nasty people you encountered. Trust me, just move somewhere else- go to a London university or come down to Brighton! (that's where I live). Also don't try and change yourself to satisfy anyone else. Be a first class version of yourself rather than a second rate version of somebody else.

    You know I understood completely about what you said about Hong Kong. I felt the exact same thing. I remember feeling at ease with the place and felt I really really belonged there even though my Cantonese is really bad! But I love Brighton as well and it's where my friends are.

    Just don't give up on Britain.
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    (Original post by rali2000)
    I can see where you're coming from. I'm a BBC myself (I used to think that also meant being a member of the TV corporation! Silly me!)
    LOL!!when i first read BBC above - i was like "what? British Broadcasting Corp" . then i read it again in context and was like " ah yes, British Born Chinese"
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    I think you need to move to a big city, like maybe London (cos it's the best ) because i've never heard of your situation before. when i saw the title i thought you felt like a foreigner cos you came from a different country. all my best friends have been Asian and none of them have suffered racial abuse etc. (iam black myself)

    but maybe i think like that cos in the schools i know of and my current college ethic minorites have been the majority, in my college right now there are only 2 english people out of the 200 students. i've never been in a situation before surrounded by more white people, and to tell you the truth i am feeling really nervous about going to uni cos i guess there'll be more white people, which iam not used to.

    once you go out of your town into a major city people won't even notice your skin colour, so it won't be a problem. I think you should go to Hong Kong for holidays but don't live there yet England esp. London has a lot to offer and you'll find out that lots of people would want to be your friend
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    yeah thanks a lot guys. i am going to a new college in darlington but some of these people are going there too so i'm a bit worried. but in bridging i have already made a lot of new friends so thats is great but my worry was that these problems may hurt my state of mind in the long run shall we say.
    i just felt crap because i really tried to fit in but it didn't work because people took advantage but now that i'm seeing people from different cultures its great.

    what is living in a city like for people like me? i want to go to London to study law and it would be great to know societies and clubs i can join. does anyone here have any knowledge of these things? Oh and believe me, i love Hong Kong. its just the lifestyle of being so mobile and from my experience, my friends were really nice there. there was none of the *****ing that happens here. no offence of course, i'm not generalising the whole country.
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    So, what do you guys think? thanks for all the top class help thus far, cheers.
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    So your Chinese but born and bred i nthe UK?

    I think its typical school crap - wait til your 18 and at Uni and amongst adults, I think it will change for you. If it doesn't then maybe go to HK where you might fit in more.

    But its certainly too early to worry - school is crap for most people and most peopel are idiots at schoo.
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    Come to London and you will feel like you've found a new universe.
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    yeah i've been to London and i love it there. how racist is it there compared to where i live? i can't wait!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah i've been to London and i love it there. how racist is it there compared to where i live? i can't wait!
    i don't think London is racist, well not inner London but maybe the suburbs. i've lived here all my life and race has never been as issue, people see me as a person first before they see me as black. you shouldn't worry about life now cos everything will change once you go uni and if you go London, you'll be surrounded by ethnics, wherever you go (you can't escape us :p: ). race has never been as issue for me but because your oriental people will prepare you to other races cos orientals have been stereotyped as being smart, clever etc.

    London can't be racist as over 1/3 of London's population were born aboard, which excludes the kids born in this country like me . it's extremely multicultural and no one cares about what colour you are, people are just too busy to care aswell. once you leave your small town and go to a large city, you'll maybe feel lost as you're no longer different as everyone around is different, if you get what i mean :confused:

    anyway you haven't got long to go to uni and you shouldn't feel that Hong Kong is the only option for you to feel comfortable as you've never experienced being in a place where lots of people around you are Chinese, if you do feel lonely in London you can always hang out in China town :p: you're bound to meet Chinese people there
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    Here in California there are a lot of people of foreign descent, so usually this is not a major problem. A lot of foreigners prefer to live here because the society is more open. Maybe you should travel around and see if you can find other places you like as well.
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    i think youve been just unlucky with your current circle of friends. Esp youre up north and not a lot of foreign blood there. If I were you Id stay here to continue education, especially a degree as UK has one of the best reputations when it comes to education. Im 100% sure you will see a lot of hong kong and asian guys on which you can relate to and hang out with. RIght now, just be who you are... some jealous people are just purely of crab mentality and let them be theyre not doing themselves any good in the end.

    Im not from hong kong but i am from south east asia. I got a couple of close friends who are also british born chinese... well specifically from hong kong and theyre great friends. Dont worry true friends will come along
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    May I ask, do you face any communication difficulty, i.e. where people can hardly understand what you were talking, and you have to repeat yourself? Did you manage to adapt yourself to the local accent, i.e. speak like them?

    When I was first in Durham (since last Sept.), my collegues can hardly understand what am I talking about. Later on, I picked up their accent, and now it's getting better. It would be much easier if you can speak like them - better understanding.

    I do have a lot of friends in the southern part of England who told me,"you don't have to speak like them(the British). Be yourself." Well, I personally think that you probably don't have to change if you're in the south, because it's more globalised. Go to London and you'll find tonnes of non-English people. But back in the North, it's more conservative. You need to change when your old method doesn't work.

    Do drop me a PM if you need someone to chat. I'm studying in Durham.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    mods, please don't show my username like last time. these are my big problems that i like to let out on here as no one knows me in real life here

    Hello, well, hard to say all this really. i was born in england but am a chinese guy living in northern england. because of my ethnicity, things have never been entirely right. there is no chinese people that are of my age and well, i am alienated by most people. i know this is a rash accusation as it were but hear me out.

    A year back, i was very down. i thought i was uncool in my tastes but i then found that my tastes were the same as everyone and there was nothing wrong with my personality. i tried to talk to people naturally but they were so dismissive. people just didn't want to be seen with me and i was more or less alone. well, apart from with my German friend who is the best!

    Anyway, people my age talked to me like i was a little child and there was sarcasm all around as me and my friend were easy targets. worse than that, the teachers who helped me get through and do well were used as weapons in arguments against me. they constantly said me and my friend were thick because of our different cultures but no, i know they were angry at how i could do well in all my subjects. so much, that they made sarcy comments when results were given (i'm 16 and just left school). i admit i do work a bit hard but that doesn't show anything negatively doesn't it?

    I just had no friends to turn to, those who were false friends used me as a tool to up their image by mocking me and FFS i had done nothing wrong! for five years too! also, this added with the teenage habit of falling in love all the time; only to be told that my colour was an issue and how it wouldn't work. also, i haven't experienced proper friendships which is ****e. but i am lucky for my best friend and cousin who are the greatest ever!

    As my parents are from hong kong, i am a citizen there and go there a couple of times every year. i absolutely bloody totally love the place. it is heaven!
    When i went, i felt so patriotic and people like taxi drivers were playing national anthems and all sorts. well, do you guys think it is a good idea for me when i finish my law degree if i do it (fingers crossed) to go with the other HK'ers who just study here back to hkg?
    HK isn't in a good state - everyone who can leave or has the qualities and qualifications to leave has pretty much all immigrated. China is consuming HK and no, patriotism to HK doesn't "exist" because it's not a country and I personally think there can only be a gradual decline with China's domination over HK. I have no love towards China and Mandarin - my love and loyalty lie with HK and Cantonese and it frustrates me so much that no one gives a damn about Cantonese, and us HKese are just expected to accommodate everyone else - I hate it so much.

    As for discrimination - you've just been unlucky with the wrong people. I have tonnes of English friends - I've always been so lucky with meeting people though - and some of my best friends are English, and some of the nicest people I know are English. I love England and I love English. The north may have more discrimination, I don't know, cus I've heard my boyfriend's tutor, who is German, got threats when she lived in the north. But you may still settle into England if only you meet the right people in the right environment. Not every English discriminates.

    I'm HKese - I wasn't even born here - I came when I was 8 and basically considers myself English. Then one day I was doing something and suddenly there was such a clear racial divide. I went home and I cried so hard because suddenly I realised the truth that - the people and country and language I so love and am so patriotic to has never accepted me as their own and has rejected me. I realise not all English people are like that and I still love my English friends, but I realise my national identity does not lie with England, but neither does it lie with China or HK. But I've come to realise - hey, why MUST I have a national identity? With my mix of cultures - Chinese and English - there's no one place that fits me. I went back to HK last Christmas for holiday and I felt so out of place - I don't fit. But England, the place I do fit, will never be my country, however much I consider it to be so. I'm just me and I will love what I love, but there's no need to root myself to just one place because quite simply, I don't fit in any one place.

    If you feel that HK is more for you, it's not wrong to go and live there instead. But seriously, read up on the situation and the economy etc first. People tend to wanna get out of HK, not in, unless they're mainland Chinese who just wants HK citizenship :mad: Even in HK you may feel out of place cus in the end, sooner or later, your English culture will clash with Chinese culture and believe you me, you will act English amongst the Chinese because you lived here all your life. I'm just saying, I guess for people like us, we don't fit anywhere - and I'm starting to think, why must I fit anyway? I know for a fact that I WILL be discriminated against when I get a job, that I WILL be chosen as second best for any writing job because I am Chinese, even though my English is better than the average Englishman, I WILL be doubted where language is concerned (I was asked once, when I told my friend of the word "Mortician", "Are you sure that's a word? Are you sure you didn't just misread it?). I know I need to be twice as good as any Englishman to get the same job. For a job, I was put to the worst jobs, and I thought, "fair enough, someone has to do it." - then on the day I saw the list and I found out almost EVERY person on that job that no one wanted were foreigners - and coloured foreigners at that. It was a people-related job, so I guess half of it was reasonable in terms of language barrier, but me? What else is it other than discrimination to tell me that my English isn't good enough? They didn't say that of course, but it's all implied.

    And schoolmates getting jealous is normal. I was told by a friend "You had help" for one of my GCSE homework essays, when all I did was chat with the teacher, barely anything about work and where it was about work, I did the talking, not the teacher. Even amongst friends it happens sometimes. The utter lack of respect for the Chinese language infuriates me. My friends have stopped once I told them how insulted I felt, so they really meant no disrespect, but I tried to explain some Chinese words and they laughed at every Chinese word I uttered because it sounded "weird". I would be on the phone to my mum and I'd say I was fine, and the term I normally use literally means "quite good" - phonetically it sounds like "Gay Ho" in English - so fine, I can see how that could be funny to those who don't speak the language. I laughed about it and we joked about it and it's fine - but for a very long while, they would just repeat the word and laugh their heads off, and I try to explain what it means and all they do is laugh, then I'm on the phone and they laugh because I'm speaking Chinese on the phone. Not just chuckle and smile, but proper hysterics. How would they feel if someone said "fine thanks" to me and I go and say "Duh! Fine thanks! Hahahahaha! Fine thanks, fine thanks! Mwhahahahaha!"

    But in all this I've met incredibly lovely English friends whom I wouldn't trade for the world. England is my home, English my language - but I'll never be English, but I'm not Chinese - I'm only Chinese by blood but I don't fit in with Chinese people. I fit with English people. But once competition starts, I know I'll be seen as the outsider - by the very people I love. I'll be rejected by the people I am loyal to, the people I love, the people whom I call my people. But what can you do? I have no idea what on earth I am half the time, but I'm coming to realise I don't have to be Chinese or English. I'm just me, and I go where I please and I will love what I please. I fit nowhere - I'm coming to terms with that now - home is wherever I make it, it moves with me. I am not restricted by the land - I have no roots. It's just a sad fact of life.

    Just don't get your hopes up about HK. The grass is always greener on the other side, as they say. Discrimination in HK exists too, and you better learn Mandarin if you wanna live in HK cus that's becoming a basic requirement nowadays for jobs related to the public I think. I will not be so confident of your fitting like a glove with the people in HK, but by all means, give it a go. Being fluent in English gives you a headstart. You will wanna check out about Chinese law, HK law, whether the law taught in your degree applies to HK law. You also gotta remember in HK the work hours are different - faster and longer - make sure you can take the stress of that. I've been told HK employers are like slave drivers. You going on holiday is one thing, living there is another.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    your English culture will clash with Chinese culture and believe you me, you will act English amongst the Chinese because you lived here all your life.

    I know for a fact that I WILL be discriminated against when I get a job, that I WILL be chosen as second best for any writing job because I am Chinese...

    For a job, I was put to the worst jobs, and I thought, "fair enough, someone has to do it." - then on the day I saw the list and I found out almost EVERY person on that job that no one wanted were foreigners...
    They didn't say that of course, but it's all implied.
    I must agree with these three statements of yours. I face the same situation here.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Even amongst friends it happens sometimes. The utter lack of respect for the Chinese language infuriates me. My friends have stopped once I told them how insulted I felt, so they really meant no disrespect, but I tried to explain some Chinese words and they laughed at every Chinese word I uttered because it sounded "weird".
    I think probably this only happens during your GCSE, or the most at A-level.. where some people are ignorant and immature. You probably don't face such a problem in the university level.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've met incredibly lovely English friends whom I wouldn't trade for the world.
    Lucky you.


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You also gotta remember in HK the work hours are different - faster and longer - I've been told HK employers are like slave drivers.
    I think not only HongKong, in fact most Asian countries.
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    (Original post by psycho)
    I must agree with these three statements of yours. I face the same situation here.



    I think probably this only happens during your GCSE, or the most at A-level.. where some people are ignorant and immature. You probably don't face such a problem in the university level.



    Lucky you.



    I think not only HongKong, in fact most Asian countries.
    I gather you're BBC then?

    Hmmm unfortunately the disrespect happened during my first year at uni, but admittedly from an ex-friend whom we all realised was a manipulative two-faced liar, who is British Indian so you could say he's not English :rolleyes: The rest of my friends at uni - it happened just the once with my good uni friends and I told them afterwards how offended I felt, and they apologised and it hasn't happened again.

    I guess I still don't understand why the discrimination threw me so much when all my life my parents have warned me about it I spent my entire teenage year wishing I was English, then I realised I like being both - but it's hurtful to realise I was never English anyway. Just an illusion What situations do you face?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    am a chinese guy living in northern england.
    As my parents are from hong kong
    Are you're parents Chinese. Because orelse that doesnt make sense. They are entirely different countries....
    Anyway, I'm sure you could hang out with all the other asians, which happens where I live. Plus im sure all people are racist there! Maybe you just have it in your head that because you're 'chinese' you cant make friends with the white kids, when you can!...
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    i have no communication issues because i learnt english when i was very young. Thus, i picked up the local dialect quickly. also, people say that i got help too when i got grade A's in english. there were like 'oh you Plagiarised that' when i obviously had't. therefore the teacher was obliged to check my work thoroughly all through the year.

    oh and psycho, i found the problem of being discriminated against in Hong Kong too because of my 'British tendancies'. that was when i felt really crap and thought that i woud never belong anywhere. buti wouldn't go back to Hong Kong to study because i really want to do law at Lse, UCL and Kcl or oxbridge
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    And probably like all chinese parents, mine pushed me quite hard but i'm glad they did because i would never of knew what talents i have. anyone else here BBC? do you guys have a society here?
    although it would be nice to move to hong kong i'm very aware (been told my parents) of the problems it has and the fact that i may be discriminated against there too makes me feel that living in London in the future may be my best bet.
    So whoever is BBC here please identify yourselves and share your experiences.
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    OP, I feel so sorry for you I know what it's like - I used to live in China (I'm white British), and there was no place I could go where I didn't look different, speak differently, act differently. I used to get people talking about me, insulting me, right in front of me, and my own value for politeness and 'face' - things that meant more to me, as a foreigner, than they did to people whose culture they came from - meant I couldn't say anything back.

    I think you've been really unlucky with the people you've met. There are stupid ignorant people all over the world, and it seems like you've managed to find a whole bunch of them I agree that you should give London a try - it's so multicultural that people just can't be racist or they'd never be able to leave their house! It also sounds like you've been surrounded by incredibly childish people - at uni things will be very different. There will also be a large number of international students at university, so you shouldn't feel so isolated.
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    Hmm it is a shame that its like that, but I'm afraid that its like there most other places too. I can tell you that in London (or at least where I am, north London) its not too much different, and many of the chinese students at my 6th form hang out together (I should add that its of their own accord), and rarely mix with the "others", even though my school is in actual fact very diverse in ethnicity. Its a shame that its like that, but know that youre not alone in how you feel!
 
 
 
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