Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

How do YOU deal with a break up? Watch

    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    If you put your happiness in something else rather than your temporary boyfriends you wouldn't get your hearts broken guysss!!!


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by STLJA)
    Broke up with my ex 3 months ago after a 2.5 year relationship because she, as an Indian girl, couldn't face the prospect of bringing a black boy home. Although she had pleaded with me to trust her she betrayed my faith in her to rise above her parents unjustifiable repulsive hatred. She turned from the caring girl I once knew to a hostile heartless b*tch.

    The first month was a mixture of me crying privately and trying to convince her to fight for us which she wasn't willing to do.She started to throw insults at me for trying to get her to stand up to them (e.g. Even if my parents murdered you just for being black I would still defend them in court cos they're my parents, you don't mean sh*t to me anymore). Despite my somewhat renowned tough persona I did publicly break down in a club in front of my boys, but hey when you catch feelings and spend 2 years with someone then get dumped cos you're black it brings out your emotional side.

    The next month was me just me trying to accept things and find distractions. Thankfully I have a very supportive family and group of friends. I went out a lot, even had a couple minor flings, but I would still spend hours thinking of her and how she could of made this decision so abruptly despite all she had promised.

    Now I have cut her off completely because I'm tired of her attitude.She still crosses my mind from time to time but it's less often than before. I'm starting to talk to some new girls and I'm certainly not as down as I was previously. Time heals but the wound is deep and it will take some more time before I can say I'm fully over her.
    Wow you're really strong. By the time you broke down for her, you really loved her.

    Bless you...


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    It took me 10 months, and it was that long because there was so much drama surrounding my relationship, but I slowly got over it by putting my focus on much more important things than fake friends and a useless boy, and on average I went up a grade in every subject and this built my confidence as I knew I was achieving great things without the burden and distraction of a guy that wasn't worth my time. As well as this, I surrounded myself with good friends who gave me good advice, and it is good to cry out some of the pain, so don't be afraid to do so, and try not to waddle in your sadness for too long because I did and I was getting early signs of depression, so do what keeps you positive and moving forward ☺
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    I have never had a long-term relationship (partly through choice) and in all honesty I wouldn't care I'd just find someone else, plenty of fish In the see and all that. A lot of young peoples' love is puppy love anyway, they meet their first bf or gf and "think" they're in love, beats sleeping with every Tom, **** or Harry I guess though.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous;[url="tel:66823836")
    66823836[/url]]I'm guessing you were going out for quite some time then? It's been a few months since I broke up with my ex. Still hurts but I think I miss how he made me feel instead of missing him..
    It was a relatively short relationship, but first love is powerful Plenty more fish in the sea though.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by STLJA)
    Broke up with my ex 3 months ago after a 2.5 year relationship because she, as an Indian girl, couldn't face the prospect of bringing a black boy home. Although she had pleaded with me to trust her she betrayed my faith in her to rise above her parents unjustifiable repulsive hatred. She turned from the caring girl I once knew to a hostile heartless b*tch.

    The first month was a mixture of me crying privately and trying to convince her to fight for us which she wasn't willing to do.She started to throw insults at me for trying to get her to stand up to them (e.g. Even if my parents murdered you just for being black I would still defend them in court cos they're my parents, you don't mean sh*t to me anymore). Despite my somewhat renowned tough persona I did publicly break down in a club in front of my boys, but hey when you catch feelings and spend 2 years with someone then get dumped cos you're black it brings out your emotional side.

    The next month was me just me trying to accept things and find distractions. Thankfully I have a very supportive family and group of friends. I went out a lot, even had a couple minor flings, but I would still spend hours thinking of her and how she could of made this decision so abruptly despite all she had promised.

    Now I have cut her off completely because I'm tired of her attitude.She still crosses my mind from time to time but it's less often than before. I'm starting to talk to some new girls and I'm certainly not as down as I was previously. Time heals but the wound is deep and it will take some more time before I can say I'm fully over her.
    That sounds really tough. But losing someone who treats you like that and says things like that is a gain, not a loss.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Zarek)
    It was a relatively short relationship, but first love is powerful Plenty more fish in the sea though.
    For sure I wonder if anyone actually fully gets over their first love...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Stxlla_j10)
    It took me 10 months, and it was that long because there was so much drama surrounding my relationship, but I slowly got over it by putting my focus on much more important things than fake friends and a useless boy, and on average I went up a grade in every subject and this built my confidence as I knew I was achieving great things without the burden and distraction of a guy that wasn't worth my time. As well as this, I surrounded myself with good friends who gave me good advice, and it is good to cry out some of the pain, so don't be afraid to do so, and try not to waddle in your sadness for too long because I did and I was getting early signs of depression, so do what keeps you positive and moving forward ☺
    I'm really happy for you. Thanks for the advice
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Are you male/female? Breaking up with someone you're still in love with vs not? How did your feelings change over time e.g. 1 week after break up vs months? What kinda relationship do you have with your ex now e.g. are you on speaking terms? How did you get over them, if you even got over them?
    I'm male and broke up with my ex whilst I was still in love with her. I still am in love with her but the pain does steadily go as time passes by. I had deleted my snapchat and instagram as people I know have her and one way or another will appear on feed/story. And little things like that flushes the memories back and I'm back to square one. As Stxlla_j10 said, more drama is involved through fake people and mutual friends surrounding the relationship. You're going to have to stay distant away from it and do something for yourself and focus on that for a while till you feel like you've found your self again. My ex texted around a month ago and I felt so much anxiety and confusion because of the fact of how I was treated by her. She expects me to be funny this and that and I see that the attitude hasn't changed. You're just going to have to let time heal the wound but at the same time do something you've always wanted to do!
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Guy 1: first relationship, he got really weird and obsessive, I broke it off over text (I was 13 if that makes it less bad...), I was pretty sad for a few days but it was only 2 or so months that we were together... he contacted me a year or so later but we just never spoke again
    Guy 2: he broke up with me on a group chat? together almost 6 months and I was so heartbroken... for about 2 weeks, and got into a rebound relationship. He's actually a close mate of mine now, this was a good 3 years ago though so I think I'm over it by now
    Guy 3: rebound relationship, started going out because he asked me out when I was drunk and I thought "how bad can it be?". Turns out it was bad, 2 months in he got a bit possessive and I wasn't feeling it, we broke up and I felt nothing. We were friends for a few years after until he got with my friend and cheated on her a few times, so I'm glad that's all over
    Guy 4: together for a year and a bit, love of my life, we broke up because my mental health got unbearable for him. I was utterly distraught for a month or so, but was determined to recover for him. We got back together after he saw how hard I was fighting against it all, and we'll have been together for 2 years this September.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by J-ved)
    I'm male and broke up with my ex whilst I was still in love with her. I still am in love with her but the pain does steadily go as time passes by. I had deleted my snapchat and instagram as people I know have her and one way or another will appear on feed/story. And little things like that flushes the memories back and I'm back to square one. As Stxlla_j10 said, more drama is involved through fake people and mutual friends surrounding the relationship. You're going to have to stay distant away from it and do something for yourself and focus on that for a while till you feel like you've found your self again. My ex texted around a month ago and I felt so much anxiety and confusion because of the fact of how I was treated by her. She expects me to be funny this and that and I see that the attitude hasn't changed. You're just going to have to let time heal the wound but at the same time do something you've always wanted to do!
    True, time is a healer I've been preoccupying myself with gym and other stuff and it's helping a lot. Do you see yourself becoming friends with her again?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by blue2337)
    Guy 1: first relationship, he got really weird and obsessive, I broke it off over text (I was 13 if that makes it less bad...), I was pretty sad for a few days but it was only 2 or so months that we were together... he contacted me a year or so later but we just never spoke again
    Guy 2: he broke up with me on a group chat? together almost 6 months and I was so heartbroken... for about 2 weeks, and got into a rebound relationship. He's actually a close mate of mine now, this was a good 3 years ago though so I think I'm over it by now
    Guy 3: rebound relationship, started going out because he asked me out when I was drunk and I thought "how bad can it be?". Turns out it was bad, 2 months in he got a bit possessive and I wasn't feeling it, we broke up and I felt nothing. We were friends for a few years after until he got with my friend and cheated on her a few times, so I'm glad that's all over
    Guy 4: together for a year and a bit, love of my life, we broke up because my mental health got unbearable for him. I was utterly distraught for a month or so, but was determined to recover for him. We got back together after he saw how hard I was fighting against it all, and we'll have been together for 2 years this September.
    Aww I'm glad there is a happy ending. Congrats on your 2 year anniversary
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    True, time is a healer I've been preoccupying myself with gym and other stuff and it's helping a lot. Do you see yourself becoming friends with her again?
    As much as I do want to be friends or even back with her, I just don't think we're right for each other, she'll expect me to not be boring and whatnot to her even whilst we're still friends.She'll still continue to disrespect me and treat me like a bad person. And it gets to me. However, you're mental health comes before anything else. And I'v been going to the gym too, and it's great to see that it's helping!
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    Mine took me 4-5 months. Dated for about 10 months knew him for 3 years and I broke it off because i was being taken for granted and he was clearly immature and had some issues along the line.
    During the 4-5 months, I was upset but turned the energy onto becoming a better person as uni was nearby and I knew i'll meet new people and I just couldn't allow him to affect who I was. Confidence built and self worth showed, had couple of flings to , one which resulted to my current boyfriend (first guy I actually liked for long since september until november) and now, i'm still good friends with my ex, after not talking for almost 6 months and his anger towards me moving on quickly. And he felt that I was using him for whenever i felt like it while drooling over other guys.

    And we just see ourselves as family, and he is cool with my current relationship and just looks out for the best.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Are you male/female? Breaking up with someone you're still in love with vs not? How did your feelings change over time e.g. 1 week after break up vs months? What kinda relationship do you have with your ex now e.g. are you on speaking terms? How did you get over them, if you even got over them?
    Luckily I can switch myself off so not prone to much heartache like many. Hence why I'm still mates with at least two ex's

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anaa95)
    Mine took me 4-5 months. Dated for about 10 months knew him for 3 years and I broke it off because i was being taken for granted and he was clearly immature and had some issues along the line.
    During the 4-5 months, I was upset but turned the energy onto becoming a better person as uni was nearby and I knew i'll meet new people and I just couldn't allow him to affect who I was. Confidence built and self worth showed, had couple of flings to , one which resulted to my current boyfriend (first guy I actually liked for long since september until november) and now, i'm still good friends with my ex, after not talking for almost 6 months and his anger towards me moving on quickly. And he felt that I was using him for whenever i felt like it while drooling over other guys.

    And we just see ourselves as family, and he is cool with my current relationship and just looks out for the best.
    My ex took me for granted as well I feel like such a fool for letting him do it for so long but it's over now. I've been using all my anger towards him into improving myself too and it's helped a lot. How friendly are you with your ex? Like are you just civil toward eachother when you see eachother or do you keep eachother updated with your lives etc? What do you mean you see eachother as family? Because you've known eachother for so long? Sorry this is starting to sound like the spanish inquisition
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by J-ved)
    As much as I do want to be friends or even back with her, I just don't think we're right for each other, she'll expect me to not be boring and whatnot to her even whilst we're still friends.She'll still continue to disrespect me and treat me like a bad person. And it gets to me. However, you're mental health comes before anything else. And I'v been going to the gym too, and it's great to see that it's helping!
    Mental health definitely is a priority so if she causes you distress it sounds like a good idea not to be friends with her. Do you have lots of mutual friends though? All my uni friends are friends with my ex and still hang out with him and stuff which is hard for me because he screwed me over big time.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I sulk in the corner of the room drinking several alcoholic beverages.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My ex took me for granted as well I feel like such a fool for letting him do it for so long but it's over now. I've been using all my anger towards him into improving myself too and it's helped a lot. How friendly are you with your ex? Like are you just civil toward eachother when you see eachother or do you keep eachother updated with your lives etc? What do you mean you see eachother as family? Because you've known eachother for so long? Sorry this is starting to sound like the spanish inquisition
    No, it's fine. And very friendly, I talk to him equally as much as my bf but obviously more with bf. i see him once a week when so i can have someone who understands me and he listens. We're practically like siblings . And i still know a lot about him like before. And we also talk everyday, so yeah. we're still pretty close, maybe moreso than the past but, just close/best friends.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Mental health definitely is a priority so if she causes you distress it sounds like a good idea not to be friends with her. Do you have lots of mutual friends though? All my uni friends are friends with my ex and still hang out with him and stuff which is hard for me because he screwed me over big time.
    Alot of people from my school are mutual friends with her. Since I left school and going to a different college from everyone else, it shouldn't be so bad. But it was hell during the final months as well as revision for GCSE's. Made me paranoid and much more depressed. Like, I feel like I am a bad person for breaking up with someone I love. However, it hurts even more when someone you love disrespects you, messes around by placing a "break" on me and giving me a reason ( a real reason but not a valid reason to put me on a break). She lost feelings for me and got bored. Hence why she mentioned I should be funny and not boring which hurt me alot. But in the end I still feel like I'm a bad person. Gas lighting perhaps? It's the people who screw you over that are doing well. I also lost a few friends too.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 9, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Are unpaid trial work shifts fair?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.