Girlfriend cheated on me, should i leave her? Watch

teenageclay
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#21
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#21
(Original post by Consie)
it clearly wasnt perfectly good.
Exactly, even when drunk we know what we should and shouldn't do
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Consie
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#22
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#22
damn straight homeboy. Plus, when i was with my bird i was that in love i didnt even catch onto hot birds when i was out on my own.
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cutcopy
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Rock Fan)
Well no, some university relationships do last, however I am not so convinced this one will last.
Some do, yes. Because of circumstance, the vast majority don't.
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Samio
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#24
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#24
I wouldn't give her another chance. A girl has never cheated on me but I've always said if she did then that would be it no matter what the circumstances were. I wouldn't take her back if she regretted it so much she ended up crying on her knees at my doorstep, fair.
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pumpkin7
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#25
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#25
once a cheater, always a cheater.
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The Bishman
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#26
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#26
Get rid ASAP. Shes cheated no you, telling you about it does not make it magically all ok again.

The fact she told you could only be she was scared her mates might have said something to you.

Get rid, she could do this again at uni and you might never know, once a cheater always a cheater.
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h82think
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#27
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#27
(Original post by irisng)
Give her a chance, I say. She obviously regrets it - if she's so regretful about it, then she won't do it again. Everyone deserves a second chance.
I agree
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Samio
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#28
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#28
(Original post by bishman)
Get rid ASAP. Shes cheated no you, telling you about it does not make it magically all ok again.
It's crazy that some girls are stupid enough to think if they tell you they cheated then everything will be ok. Some of my mates have been in this position and have been gullable enough to think that it's ok.:rolleyes:
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devils_nose
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#29
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#29
(Original post by Samio)
It's crazy that some girls are stupid enough to think if they tell you they cheated then everything will be ok. Some of my mates have been in this position and have been gullable enough to think that it's ok.:rolleyes:
Its not crazy.. if they were cheating and you didn't know then they would be taking you for a mug.. if you are told, at least you get a choice of forgiveness or otherwise, it not about making it ok - its about being honest. Would you rather be lied to?

Only you (OP) know if you can forgive your gf and give it another go.. if you think you can trust her and believe she is full of remorse then stick with it - if you are going to be paranoid and feel jealous all the time because you don't trust her, then get rid!
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The Bishman
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#30
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#30
(Original post by devils_nose)
Its not crazy.. if they were cheating and you didn't know then they would be taking you for a mug.. if you are told, at least you get a choice of forgiveness or otherwise, it not about making it ok - its about being honest. Would you rather be lied to?

Only you (OP) know if you can forgive your gf and give it another go.. if you think you can trust her and believe she is full of remorse then stick with it - if you are going to be paranoid and feel jealous all the time because you don't trust her, then get rid!
Being told is not brownie points in my book, its an expectation, an unsaid rule, a moral value.
The idea of that being told is asking for forgivness is like turning yourself in after you murdered someone; you still did it, and you have to pay the price.

And being drunk is no excuse in my opinion, you still have choice when your drunk.
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Helenia
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#31
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#31
(Original post by pumpkin7)
once a cheater, always a cheater.
This is so unbelievably untrue.

I don't believe that telling him "makes it all ok" but it does show that she regretted what she did, and wanted him to know so that he can decide to either forgive her or get out. If she didn't tell him and he found out through her friends, that would have been worse, but it takes a lot of courage to tell someone you love something that you know is going to hurt them that much. If she genuinely does regret it, there's a high chance it will never happen again.

If the relationship is fine apart from this, I think you need to have a talk about what caused it to happen etc, to try and make sure it won't happen again. If this is just one of a couple of other doubts, then I'd say end it, but not just over this.
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devils_nose
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#32
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#32
(Original post by bishman)
Being told is not brownie points in my book, its an expectation, an unsaid rule, a moral value.
The idea of that being told is asking for forgivness is like turning yourself in after you murdered someone; you still did it, and you have to pay the price.

And being drunk is no excuse in my opinion, you still have choice when your drunk.
Where on earth did you get this idea of brownie points from? Essentially we agree on the fact that telling is a good thing, but you assume women tell so they don't get found out rather than because its the right thing to do, which I disagree with (on a general level).

As far as paying the price goes - surely it is up to whoever has been cheated on to decide what that price is? I can see you take a hard line, that is your choice, but others would be more prepared to give it another shot, and there is nothing wrong with that either.

'Once a cheater, always a cheater' is a load of bull, I find it a bit frightening that so many people don't believe in reform!!
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ChemistBoy
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#33
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#33
(Original post by Helenia)
This is so unbelievably untrue.

I don't believe that telling him "makes it all ok" but it does show that she regretted what she did, and wanted him to know so that he can decide to either forgive her or get out. If she didn't tell him and he found out through her friends, that would have been worse, but it takes a lot of courage to tell someone you love something that you know is going to hurt them that much. If she genuinely does regret it, there's a high chance it will never happen again.

If the relationship is fine apart from this, I think you need to have a talk about what caused it to happen etc, to try and make sure it won't happen again. If this is just one of a couple of other doubts, then I'd say end it, but not just over this.
This is all fine to a point, but there are equally as many cases where cheating happens again and again after the initial trust is broken. Whilst it is hard to admit one's mistakes, it doesn't really take that much self-control to not snog the face of some random in a club now does it?

My advice to the OP, because you and your girlfriend are young, is to end it. Why? Because you don't need to be in a relationship with someone who has done that to you at your stage in life, do you? Why settle for second best? You don't want to have it hanging over your head so that it comes out in every argument or disagreement you have, do you?
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HereFishyFishy
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#34
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#34
How long have you gone out with her OP?
I mean, if this is a one-off drunken incident when she has been drunk hundreds of times before and done nothing, and she's truly sorry, perhaps you should give it another try?

I think everybody is entitled to one chance if it was only a kiss and nothing pre-meditated.

However, perhaps you want to think about whether there are any issues in the relationship. Is there anything that is making either of you unhappy?
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Planto
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#35
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#35
I'd end it. Too much hassle.
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The Bishman
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#36
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#36
(Original post by devils_nose)
Where on earth did you get this idea of brownie points from? Essentially we agree on the fact that telling is a good thing, but you assume women tell so they don't get found out rather than because its the right thing to do, which I disagree with (on a general level).

As far as paying the price goes - surely it is up to whoever has been cheated on to decide what that price is? I can see you take a hard line, that is your choice, but others would be more prepared to give it another shot, and there is nothing wrong with that either.

'Once a cheater, always a cheater' is a load of bull, I find it a bit frightening that so many people don't believe in reform!!
Because I cant understand how being told about it makes it suddenly all right. You dont reward someone for being honest, honesty and trust is what defines a relationship, its what holds it together. The fact is that this has happened to me, and all being told did was to help me dump her quicker.
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floof
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#37
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#37
obviously now its going to be very hard to trust her because there is always that feeling that it will happen again. she obviously regrets what she has done otherwise she wouldnt of told you. i think you should give her a second chance, she wont do it again and she'll obviously have a lot of making up to do.
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PoisonGirL
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#38
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#38
of courese u should leave her...how will u trust her again??cheating is unforgivable
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Fire Star
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#39
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#39
give her a chance
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ph9
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#40
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#40
op, i hope you're not going to be highly influenced by the replies in this thread. at the end of the day we're all just young people and i'll bet a lot of the people who have said 'i'd end it definitely' might not be so sure if they were in your position right now.

only you can make this decision because only you are in this particular position. don't mock the relationship you have with this girl by taking these replies too seriously is all i'm saying.

do you want to give her another chance? forgetting all the replies so far and any outside factors, do you want to give it another go? simple yes or no.
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