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My boyfriend's text has really pissed me off watch
- 10-08-2016 23:13
Offline19Very Important Poster
- Very Important Poster
(Original post by Kanade Tachibana)
- 10-08-2016 23:19
The other day I was invited to a results day party but my boyfriend wasn't. We're both 18 and have been together for over a year and a half. Since February/March everything became about exams, so I've kind of forgotten what he can be like with parties (and earlier in the year I was willing to look past it to keep our relationship happy). After I texted him about the party, he immediately started asking if he could be invited, discussing the possibilities of him not being able to go and he even said that, if they say no, he might go anyway. I didn't think anything of this until he sent this text:
It's kinda wrong but when you say you're going to a party by yourself I get really sad and scared and kind of start crying a bit :'( It's stupid but I just get really sad and scared and uneasy and feel really sick xS
Now, one part of me thinks that it's great that he's being honest about his feelings. He's keeping things out in the open without bottling anything up. Yay!
But a larger part of me is severely pissed off. What the hell is he expecting to happen if I go to a party alone? It's not like I'm a big drinker and nothing has ever happened before at a party to make him worry. I just think it's a stupid thing for him to worry about! I am allowed to make my own decision to attend a party and I don't like him making me feel bad about it!
Also, when I've been to parties with him in the past, he's glued to me the whole time and people treat me like I'm an extension of him, so yeah...
I know he's worried about me cheating on him when we go to separate universities. I'm a decent person and would NEVER do that (and have said this) but he keeps bringing up the possibility and stressing that I shouldn't do that. And here's the biggie: a few weeks ago, he told me that around Christmas last year, he was so worried about uni that he was planning to ask me to marry him! What the actual f***?! Luckily he thought better (we're 18!) but, still...
There are a few other things... He can be a little controlling sometimes. For example, when he comes to my house, he takes over things like the cooking and I get pretty annoyed because, you know, it's MY house. When I bring this up, he apologises vaguely and then carries on making the scrambled egg or whatever. Other times, when I'm buying something, he leans over me as I'm paying, telling me how I should pay. Usually I already know if I'm going to use coins or my card to save change for the bus etc, but apparently to him I'm not qualified to be in charge of my own money!
I know they sound like stupid little examples, but there have been other similar occasions which I'm not going to go into to stop this post being too long. Anyway, coupled with the text from the other day, I'm starting to get pissed off and a bit concerned.
So yeah, I just wanted a second opinion. I'm not sure if I'm just making a big deal out of nothing or if I'm justified to be feeling pretty angry about that text and all the other little things that have been happening.
More likely than not you will find your relationship runs its course by the time you get to Uni.
If you are a couple, then why couldnt you go together or you have reserved a spot for your bf even if he wasnt there at the time? No idea hwat sort of relationship you have, but youd think that wasnt unreasonable?
His text thought sounds either controlling and manupilative or just a bit wimpy and needy, neither of which are good.
He sounds immature/needy , you sound angwy angwy and you dont sound like a good match any more. id be very surprised if you are together past the end of the first year.
Are you making a big deal out of the text? Yes, but its symptomatic of general irritation and a relationship where you are both moving apart and your differences are coming to the surface.