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    You don't have to lose your personality just to become a better muslim. I know loads of bubbly outgoing hijabis and niqabis. My advice to not lose faith is to try and read ur salaat, and go to Islamic lectures/taleems at least once a week just to help remind u about Islam and keep u on the straight path
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    (Original post by ExMooseLDN)
    Hey,
    I was once in doubting my faith and now i'm an Ex Muslim, if you have any questions or need any support, feel free to message me.
    Please don't listen to this, go to the Islamic society. Loads of good practising Muslims on there who can help u
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anonymous.

    I am a muslim girl and I am losing faith, I am very expressive in my appearance. I like to wear funky colourful clothes, put on dramatic make up, colour my hair, it makes me feel confident. I also have a bubbly personality and am very 'out there' and share pictures online and like to meet new people and talk to people, make them laugh and form special bonds.

    However I get judged for this. I get told I will go to Hell for not wearing Hijab so I started wearing it. It limited my creativity but I still found ways to dress it up, my makeup was still bright and I was still confident. Now I am being told that a good Muslim woman should not laugh in public, or wear bright coloured clothes, or makeup, or talk too much or talk to men and if I am seen doing any of those things I get judged and talked bad about.


    How old are you and who's judging you? Who's telling you these things?

    Also, not quite relevant but what do you mean by 'bubbly'?

    So all of this was taken from me. I can't express myself now and my confidence dropped a lot. I have low self esteem, I'm depressed and I hate going out now. It's making me lose my faith. I know this world is temporary and in Heaven Insha Allah I'll be able to do as I please but it's so hard to cope with because now I've lost who I was.

    Any guidance or advice please?
    There are so many other reasons for losing your faith in your religion - especially after a bit of research. It doesn't look like you have a valid one except perhaps feeling depressed due to persuasive and some questionable (coercive?) behaviour resulting in the inability to express who you are, your freedom and individuality etc.

    The whole 'this world is temporary and you can do whatever you want in heaven' is just a lame tactic to make you fall in line and be controlled in the real world. Powerful, yes, but lame and usually done through fear and scaremongering (as you've begun to discover yourself in fact).

    Why are you not allowed to just be yourself right now instead of being depressed? Is being yourself harming anyone else or just making them envious that you're not a puppet like them? If it's not harming anyone, why must you be forced to damage your own mental health for the satisfaction of others?

    Did you know that a recent change in law makes coercive and controlling behaviour in the family now illegal in the UK?

    Btw, a lot of the hijabis look like hypocrites anyway with their self-righteous behaviour whilst caked in layers of makeup and skin tight clothes. :rolleyes:

    Anyway, plenty of ex-Muslims around if you need further help, advice and support. The general discussion thread is here: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=4236658

    EDIT: Alternatively, just surround yourself with more positive, tolerant and less extreme Muslims who aren't bitter. You're not allowed to be forced into wearing the hijab anyway (plus it has a larger meaning, not just the scarf) - that won't count, it needs to be your own decision from peace of mind. About the law thing, I don't advocate using that against your family - really don't - I would never use it and skeptical due to its abuse potential, but it's there if things get out of control. If you're not decided yet then don't wear it. Cut off the people who are judging you and telling you silly things.
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    (Original post by EastGuava)
    lmao so funny how some of you can't handle non-muslims commenting
    Idc about them commenting or not, but in the Islamic community we care about each other and look out for one another. If someone is gna encourage one of my Muslim brothers/sisters to disregard their beliefs and turn away from Islam, obviously I'm gna be against this. She asked for advise on how to strengthen her faith, not how to further distance herself from it. About 'can't handle', gtfoh :/
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    No wonder you are losing faith! Muslims can't laugh now? or is it just Muslim girls who aren't allowed to laugh? most likely. just how controlling does your family want to be?
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    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    Idc about them commenting or not, but in the Islamic community we care about each other and look out for one another. If someone is gna encourage one of my Muslim brothers/sisters to disregard their beliefs and turn away from Islam, obviously I'm gna be against this. She asked for advise on how to strengthen her faith, not how to further distance herself from it. About 'can't handle', gtfoh :/
    LOL last bit killed me
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    Dont be too religiously strict. Pray 5 times a day if you can, be the best you can be and enjoy your life.

    I used to listen to strict religious stuff from people and I lost my confidence, my anxiety grew and my career and life goals were ruined.
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    (Original post by Naveed-7)
    Dont be too religiously strict. Pray 5 times a day if you can, be the best you can be and enjoy your life.

    I used to listen to strict religious stuff from my parents and I lost my confidence, my anxiety grew and my career and life goals were ruined.
    Yes, always take baby steps towards commitments in Islam. I myself have gradually made myself pray from 1-2 times a day to 5 times a day including additional rakats.
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    Disregard being a "good" Muslim and be a good person, hell does not exist and is only there to make you not want to do things that go against the religion. nor does heaven it is a con to make you want to be "good" so you get everything you ever dreamed of.

    Be yourself, dye your hair, dress up in short skirts or fancy clothes smile talk be friends with boys and girls, make good friends and be yourself. and most importantly be happy

    If you Still doubt it imagine How selfish a God must be to want everyone to Pray to him 5 times a day and not do this and not do that. A very cruel god.


    Life without a religion is like life without shackles. except these shackles you put on yourself and only you can take them off
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am being told that a good Muslim woman should not laugh in public, or wear bright coloured clothes, or makeup, or talk too much or talk to men and if I am seen doing any of those things I get judged and talked bad about.
    I am not a Muslim but did grow up around Keighley. My observations of the times was that most Muslim women wore beautiful bright and vibrant clothes with jewellery. And they loved a laugh.

    It sounds to me like you are being threatened with religion by human beings who just want to control you. Be free!

    Good luck!
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    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    Idc about them commenting or not, but in the Islamic community we care about each other and look out for one another. If someone is gna encourage one of my Muslim brothers/sisters to disregard their beliefs and turn away from Islam, obviously I'm gna be against this. She asked for advise on how to strengthen her faith, not how to further distance herself from it. About 'can't handle', gtfoh :/
    Why are you against it?
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    Lots of aspects of religion aren't about being a good person or feeling confident about yourself, but about imposing a sense of guilt and fear in order to control your actions. I'd use this as a chance to start questioning whether this religion and the community around it want you to be happy, or if they want to control you, cause frankly it sounds like the latter.
    • #2
    #2

    Leave the religion sister. It's making you miserable and stifling who you are. Islam sucks the life out of everything and forbids all things that are enjoyable and fun. It's a tragedy that you've changed yourself so that people don't judge you. Is that really the kind of life you want to lead, where you're depressed and unhappy with the only life you'll ever get for the sake of an imaginary god? why would God forbid you things on earth and make them halal in heaven, just think about that it doesn't make sense.

    I left Islam a while ago sister and it's the best decision I ever made, if you need to talk about it then I'm here for you xx
    • #2
    #2

    Leave the religion sister. It's making you miserable and stifling who you are. Islam sucks the life out of everything and forbids all things that are enjoyable and fun. It's a tragedy that you've changed yourself so that people don't judge you. Is that really the kind of life you want to lead, where you're depressed and unhappy with the only life you'll ever get for the sake of an imaginary god? why would God forbid you things on earth and make them halal in heaven, just think about that it doesn't make sense.

    I left Islam a while ago sister and it's the best decision I ever made, if you need to talk about it then I'm here for you xx
    • #2
    #2

    Leave the religion sister. It's making you miserable and stifling who you are. Islam sucks the life out of everything and forbids all things that are enjoyable and fun. It's a tragedy that you've changed yourself so that people don't judge you. Is that really the kind of life you want to lead, where you're depressed and unhappy with the only life you'll ever get for the sake of an imaginary god? why would God forbid you things on earth and make them halal in heaven, just think about that it doesn't make sense.

    I left Islam a while ago sister and it's the best decision I ever made, if you need to talk about it then I'm here for you xx
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    Please don't listen to this, go to the Islamic society. Loads of good practising Muslims on there who can help u
    That's right, don't listen to any other viewpoint other than those that have a vested interest in keeping you within Islam. That'll give her a balanced and fair viewpoint of things won't it !!
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    (Original post by Ribbit1234)
    Idc about them commenting or not, but in the Islamic community we care about each other and look out for one another. If someone is gna encourage one of my Muslim brothers/sisters to disregard their beliefs and turn away from Islam, obviously I'm gna be against this. She asked for advise on how to strengthen her faith, not how to further distance herself from it. About 'can't handle', gtfoh :/
    By the sounds of it the Muslims in her life are corroding her personality and freedoms... You can't blame people for suggesting she moves away from a toxic environment.

    OP, live your life how you want to. Don't be held back by your religion, but don't be pushed away from it if you care about it. Read the Quran... Do passages such as 4.34 conform to your world views? What is it specifically about Islam that made you choose it over any other religion/atheism or were you pushed into it? Are you disturbed the possibility of the black abyss of death, or do you take comfort in thoughts of an afterlife?

    But firstly, get rid of these terrible people in your life. Don't ever let anybody use "being a good Muslim" as justification for being an A-hole.
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    (Original post by sameehaiqbal)
    This is why i said this isnt the best place to ask.

    Dont listen to him.
    Why? Because I'm giving an opposing view and you don't know how to respond?
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    (Original post by sameehaiqbal)
    This is why i said this isnt the best place to ask.

    Dont listen to him.
    Literally nothing wrong with what he said, maybe at least explain what you found wrong with his comment, rather than just advising someone to completely ignore a viewpoint contrast to your own.

    Encouraging free thinking is to be discouraged?
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    what kind of people do you hang around with? you need to hang out with different people imo who wont judge you.
 
 
 
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