err ok, good luck to you though!
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How to get in with a group of people watch
- 17-07-2007 02:33
(Original post by sweetface.)
- 17-07-2007 10:55
Whats so special about these people? You don't need to "get in" with them. If they are not your friends well then just leave them to it.
Because she doesn't want to feel excluded?? There's nothing "special" about these people, she just doesn't want to look like an idiot, which is fair really.
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 17-07-2007 12:07
This is anon as there are people I know on here, mods if it can't be anon please delete the thread.
Basically Ive been going to a netball club in London for about 8 years and still feel embarrased to talk to people and can't call anyone my friend. They will all be having a conversation, about 3 or 4 people and, feeling stupid, I just walk round the hall reading the walls. I know they all think im odd but it will be even strange if after not properly talking to them for all this time I suddenly join in a conversation. Whats the best way to be more social? I do talk to people when they are alone or when they are talking about something I know of but most of the time im really quiet and they have said that. Theres also this lad who says he doesn't understand me and that im weird, didn't say it in a nasty way, and he sometims stares and starts laughing so im trying to be as normal as I can. It doesn't help that Ive never worn netball shorts or a skirt I always wear pants even in red hot summer when everyone is dressed normal im just embarrased to suddenly change. If I just join in a conversation though would it be a bit odd and pushy, after being quiet all these years?
hey course not, your probably outcasting yourself more than you are being pushed away.
just icebreak, im sure they will be ok once u break the ice. x
- 17-07-2007 13:18
First training session, just smile and say hi to a few randomers who seem friendly.
Next time you see these people, just smile and say "hi, hows it going."
Do you know everyone's names? Confirm them- "It's Jane, right?".
If you want to leave it here then that's fine, but from here you can step up the conversation. If you've done this part right then the answers should be positive- i.e. "good thanks" and "yes, that's me" which is important. It will make the other person think about you in a positive light. Don't forget to keep smiling, but keep your grin friendly, not manic!
Week after that break it into a bigger conversation:
"Hi, hows it going?" (other person will mutter something affirmative)
"Man, I'm knackered, hope I can keep up with everyone today." (mutter something affirmative)
And then just take your reply from what the other person has said.
Don't worry about being the life and soul of the party- sometimes it is better to remain a bit quieter. Then when you are funny people will laugh harder as they aren't expecting it!
Self confidence is like a muscle, you have to train it and exercise it to keep it. Starting the training is going to be tough, but the more you do it the more naturally it will come.
Took me a while to get there, I used to be cripplingly shy after being bullied for most of my school career but these tips (picked up from a variety of different sources) mean that I go out with loads of friends nearly every night )
Good luck and let us know how you get on!