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Why is the life of a south asian girl so hard Watch

    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    no it doesn't
    theyre not even religious
    maybe if they were theyd stop putting their stupid culture before religion and things would work out better
    :lolwut: babe I was talking about my own parents being religious, not urs.
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    What's the worst that could happen to you? You can't die from chappal or belt injuries, lol

    Seriously though, this victim complex is what really ***** me off about South Asian girls. Not all of them, but the ones that are just so submissive that they let their entire lives be ruled by their parents/extended families. They don't own you, they don't have a right to tell you how to live your life once you get past a certain age (17-18 but it varies). If you want to do something, do it and face the consequences later, if there are any - most parents will be fine with whatever you do as long as nobody gets hurt. They can't keep you on a short leash if you don't let them. If a parent goes out of their way to suffocate your life and make you feel like you can't live it to your full potential, that is only a reflection of their own cruelty. If you really want things to change, be assertive and stand up to your parents. Yes it's easier said than done, but the only way you can make them change their behaviour is by pointing out all the cruel things they do. You live in the UK, not South Asia - here you have basic human rights, freedom of will and choice. Use them.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by yungaheartz)
    why, whats happening at the mo?
    im so sick of restrictions left right and centre just becoz im a girl...
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    (Original post by EastGuava)
    Terrible culture/traditions/religion.
    Are you implying that there is only 1 South Asian religion? Or that all South Asian religions are terrible?


    (Original post by asif007)
    What's the worst that could happen to you? You can't die from chappal or belt injuries, lol

    Seriously though, this victim complex is what really ***** me off about South Asian girls. Not all of them, but the ones that are just so submissive that they let their entire lives be ruled by their parents/extended families. They don't own you, they don't have a right to tell you how to live your life once you get past a certain age (17-18 but it varies). If you want to do something, do it and face the consequences later, if there are any - most parents will be fine with whatever you do as long as nobody gets hurt. They can't keep you on a short leash if you don't let them. If a parent goes out of their way to suffocate your life and make you feel like you can't live it to your full potential, that is only a reflection of their own cruelty. If you really want things to change, be assertive and stand up to your parents. Yes it's easier said than done, but the only way you can make them change their behaviour is by pointing out all the cruel things they do. You live in the UK, not South Asia - here you have basic human rights, freedom of will and choice. Use them.
    While I generally agree, there can be the very real threat of being forced to go back to Pakistan and marry some random guy or even so-called 'honour killings'.

    I've read of instances where Pakistani/Bangladeshi girls have tried to rebel and have had the above happen to them.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    im so sick of restrictions left right and centre just becoz im a girl...
    aww thats horrible, how old are you.

    theres a quote that goes 'this too shall pass'. remember nothing lasts forever and even your predicament will be over one day. sorry if thats useless advice but its all i can offer
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by yungaheartz)
    aww thats horrible, how old are you.

    theres a quote that goes 'this too shall pass'. remember nothing lasts forever and even your predicament will be over one day. sorry if thats useless advice but its all i can offer
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    thank you, youre the only one that's given me a reply that's made me feel better xox
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    South Asian?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Arab. Kno how u feel gurl... I just spent 3 months home for the summer from uni pretending to give a **** about religion in order to avoid a beating from my psycho parents
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
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    thank you, youre the only one that's given me a reply that's made me feel better xox
    i'm so sorry things will get better though, i'm sure of it. stay strong, don't let anyone break you xx
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    Life is hard for most people in some way or another. All you have to do is keep going.
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    Because a significant proportion of South Asian parents have an extremely backwards and medieval mentality when it comes to issues such as dating. A South Asian girl is therefore often placed in a moral dilemma. It is natural and moral to want to respect your parents wishes, however it is also morally wrong to disregard a guy who YOU like simply due to him not being of the same culture/same race as yourself.

    I think most young South Asian girls in this country would like the freedom to make their own choices. If having someone who is of the same background as yourself is an essential quality to YOU NOT YOUR PARENTS then I can respect that. If, however, you are more open minded and simply want a good man who you click with and who treats you with the respect and dignity you deserve regardless of his race or background then you should not let the repulsive view that you are obliged to "stick to your own" hold you back if you meet a white or black guy who has qualities you desire. To have the latter mindset requires one a lot of willpower and strength that unfortunately not all South Asian girls possess (e.g. My ex) as the potential of losing their family is too much for them to take.

    But some South Asian girls pull through the hostility such as my cousins gf. He is black and she is Gujurati Indian. They kicked her out when they found out about their relationship.He proved to her parents that he wasn't trying to "take her away from her culture" and,in fact, he respected the preservation of her culture so much he learnt Gujurati and learnt how to cook numerous Indian dishes e.g. Pav bhaji. He has promised to pass down Indian cultural traditions as well as his own Caribbean cultural traditions to their children. It took time but her parents finally accepted him. Goes to show that cultural differences can be overcome with a bit of perseverance and strength from both parties.
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    (Original post by dairychocolate)
    Are you implying that there is only 1 South Asian religion? Or that all South Asian religions are terrible?



    While I generally agree, there can be the very real threat of being forced to go back to Pakistan and marry some random guy or even so-called 'honour killings'.

    I've read of instances where Pakistani/Bangladeshi girls have tried to rebel and have had the above happen to them.
    One of the major religions is particularly bad.
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    (Original post by dairychocolate)



    While I generally agree, there can be the very real threat of being forced to go back to Pakistan and marry some random guy or even so-called 'honour killings'.

    I've read of instances where Pakistani/Bangladeshi girls have tried to rebel and have had the above happen to them.
    Yes, those are very real threats in a small minority of (what I call) extremist families. But we live in the UK where these kinds of punishments are illegal by law. If any person, not just OP, finds themselves facing those kinds of threats then that calls for getting the police involved.

    Parents who are probably first-generation immigrants themselves sometimes have a hard time getting used to the fact that they can't raise their children as "pure" Pakistanis/Bangladeshis/whatever when they live in this country. Here there are so many other influences and freedoms that their children have the right to exercise. These people can't have it both ways - either they accept the fact that their children may have different priorities/values in this country to what the parents had in South Asia, or they uproot their entire families and move back to their home countries.
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    It's not only south Asian girls
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by asif007)
    What's the worst that could happen to you? You can't die from chappal or belt injuries, lol .
    Correction you can. :laugh:
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    (Original post by asif007)
    What's the worst that could happen to you? You can't die from chappal or belt injuries, lol

    Seriously though, this victim complex is what really ***** me off about South Asian girls. Not all of them, but the ones that are just so submissive that they let their entire lives be ruled by their parents/extended families. They don't own you, they don't have a right to tell you how to live your life once you get past a certain age (17-18 but it varies). If you want to do something, do it and face the consequences later, if there are any - most parents will be fine with whatever you do as long as nobody gets hurt. They can't keep you on a short leash if you don't let them. If a parent goes out of their way to suffocate your life and make you feel like you can't live it to your full potential, that is only a reflection of their own cruelty. If you really want things to change, be assertive and stand up to your parents. Yes it's easier said than done, but the only way you can make them change their behaviour is by pointing out all the cruel things they do. You live in the UK, not South Asia - here you have basic human rights, freedom of will and choice. Use them.

    I repped your post but it's not so simple like that. Girls do try and end up getting caught, people have to help them get out, they're also been highly brainwashed from a young age, brainwashing which is uneasy to get rid of, it's not so simple, if it were, girls wouldn't be honour killed.
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    Lol I realised recently that my mum never bought me a scooter nor let me carry on learning how to ride a bike because I'd lose my virginity in an accident...
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    Your family and culture repress you
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    (Original post by inhuman)
    South Asian?
    Pakistan
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    (Original post by Pinkberry_y)
    Pakistan
    So why not just say Pakistan? I have never come across this term in another country than Britain
 
 
 
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