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I'm planning on ending things with him, but first I need to check Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi people

    So, I'm completely fed up with my relationship with this guy I've been seeing for a couple of years. I don't know how to label this relationship - it's s strange one. Anyway, I ended contact with him back in April, asking him to leave me alone because I was going through a rough time and was sick of all the neglect. All of my friends were there for me during that time and regularly checked up. Him? Not even once. I went for two months of no contact and was starting to finally feel good about the though of never speaking to him again. Then he finally broke NC and got in touch, and like an idiot I gave in.

    For the first month after that he was much better behaved. We live in different cities now due to my moving but I planned on visiting him soon and he would always call, text and check up regularly. Then after I while it seemed like I was making most of the effort so I stopped texting first to see how long it would take him. This guy claims to have feelings for me and he has now gone 2 weeks without texting or calling.

    For me this is the last straw. I was hurt cried about my own stupidity for letting him into my life again but now I'm calm. Tonight I will tell him that I want to end all contact, and for good this time. I will also block his number and block him on social media so that he can't contact me again. I want to make sure that he didn't have a valid reason not to contact me all this time though (but I'm fairly certain that he doesn't). So, what should I do before dropping the bomb to make sure that he hasn't been grieving for a dead family member or friend or something?
    You ask him. Plain and straight.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi people

    So, I'm completely fed up with my relationship with this guy I've been seeing for a couple of years. I don't know how to label this relationship - it's s strange one. Anyway, I ended contact with him back in April, asking him to leave me alone because I was going through a rough time and was sick of all the neglect. All of my friends were there for me during that time and regularly checked up. Him? Not even once. I went for two months of no contact and was starting to finally feel good about the though of never speaking to him again. Then he finally broke NC and got in touch, and like an idiot I gave in.

    For the first month after that he was much better behaved. We live in different cities now due to my moving but I planned on visiting him soon and he would always call, text and check up regularly. Then after I while it seemed like I was making most of the effort so I stopped texting first to see how long it would take him. This guy claims to have feelings for me and he has now gone 2 weeks without texting or calling.

    For me this is the last straw. I was hurt cried about my own stupidity for letting him into my life again but now I'm calm. Tonight I will tell him that I want to end all contact, and for good this time. I will also block his number and block him on social media so that he can't contact me again. I want to make sure that he didn't have a valid reason not to contact me all this time though (but I'm fairly certain that he doesn't). So, what should I do before dropping the bomb to make sure that he hasn't been grieving for a dead family member or friend or something?
    When in a relationship it's important that both parties needs are met. Your needs have not been met throughout the entire duration of this relationship and hence it is understandable you feel this way. You should put it straight to your partner - If you want a relationship with me i need communication and be straight up - once a day etc be specific. Your needs have to be met and if he cannot meet those demands or has no reasonable excuse as to why hes been NC then you need to find someone who is more compatible/open with you as to avoid so much stress/grief/hassle and wasted time.

    I don't understand how all these games and 'not knowing how to label us' get around. If you want to be serious about someone stop wasting your time playing or thinking or asking on forums you need to ask straight up - why waste so many years of your life without knowing what you are? I told my gf straight up 2 months in lifes busy nobodys got time to gamble.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, I told him to leave me alone back in April and he did for 2 months, I was happy with that. Then he contacted again me after those two months, and I should have ignored him but I didn't. So we stayed in regular contact after that for a month, until it got worse and worse, to the point that he hasn't called or texted for two weeks.

    I certainly am not playing games, which is why I am ending things for good this time.
    You weren't happy with it, to quote you:

    "All of my friends were there for me during that time and regularly checked up. Him? Not even once."

    If you weren't annoyed that he didn't contact you, then why did you point out that your friends contacted you and checked up on you, but he didn't? As if he should have been doing so, when you expressly and clearly told him not to.

    This is all just playing games, it isn't a relationship. Why didn't you tell him how you felt, instead of not messaging or calling him for 2 weeks? He didn't contact you for two weeks, fine, be annoyed at that, but equally speaking you didn't contact him for two weeks as well. You don't know his reasoning for not contacting you, but what was yours? To prove something. Like I said, games. That's no way to have a relationship.

    And now you're going to tell him that you're not going to speak to him again, then block him on everything. You make it all sound so dramatic. From reading that it feels like when people post on Facebook groups saying "I'm leaving because....", all they're wanting is attention from everyone. You're doing this to make him want you

    How about instead of all this, you both deal with this like adults and discuss where you go from here?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You weren't happy with it, to quote you:

    "All of my friends were there for me during that time and regularly checked up. Him? Not even once."

    If you weren't annoyed that he didn't contact you, then why did you point out that your friends contacted you and checked up on you, but he didn't? As if he should have been doing so, when you expressly and clearly told him not to.

    This is all just playing games, it isn't a relationship. Why didn't you tell him how you felt, instead of not messaging or calling him for 2 weeks? He didn't contact you for two weeks, fine, be annoyed at that, but equally speaking you didn't contact him for two weeks as well. You don't know his reasoning for not contacting you, but what was yours? To prove something. Like I said, games. That's no way to have a relationship.

    And now you're going to tell him that you're not going to speak to him again, then block him on everything. You make it all sound so dramatic. From reading that it feels like when people post on Facebook groups saying "I'm leaving because....", all they're wanting is attention from everyone. You're doing this to make him want you

    How about instead of all this, you both deal with this like adults and discuss where you go from here?
    "All of my friends were there for me during that time and regularly checked up. Him? Not even once."

    That was before the 2 months of no contact. The fact that he wasn't there for me during such a difficult time and didn't check up made me feel neglected, hence I asked him to leave me alone.

    I stopped contacting him because I was the one initiating the contact after a while and I had a feeling that he just didn't care. Waiting to see how long he would take to contact me would confirm my suspicions, and give me that extra push to end things for good. I already said that I would check to see what his reasons are. If it's a shoddy excuse like "I was busy", then it's over.

    I don't care about him wanting me anymore, I just want this to be over because I am sick of him hurting me. If I don't block him on social media then he could contact me again, like he did after those two months. I want there to be know way of him contacting me again because he doesn't seem to understand when he is only told that it's over.

    I don't want to go anywhere from here. I want to end this all ASAP.
 
 
 
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