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Pregnant at sixth form, help! Watch

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    OP - I had a baby in my second year of university at a Russell Group university. I attended up until my due date in January, and then came back a month after he was born. I had 8 weeks of university left, and had to be in six hours a week (I did most of my modules in the first semester for that reason), so my friend looked after him whilst I was in lectures. It can absolutely be done. I got a first overall in my second year, and have a job waiting for me at the end of my degree, although I will also be applying for Masters programmes. The only person that can stop you is yourself. My son has given me all the motivation in the world - he is the most wonderful little boy in the world, and I couldn't live without him for a single day.

    Warmest congratulations. PM me at any time if you need me
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    (Original post by CounTolstoy)
    Although only a few years in difference, sixth form and university are very different. Thus a comparison cannot be made. Having a child at 19 or 20 does not compare to a 16 year old who is studying A levels and has decided to hand down all the responsibility to their mother.
    I'm afraid I can't see a massive difference.

    Getting the child's grandmother to look after him/her is no different to parents who work full time and have to use babysitters. She will still be carrying and birthing the child, buying things for the child, getting up for night feeds, experiencing all of their milestones, playing with the child etc.
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    (Original post by Seamus123)
    When you are a few months into your pregnancy and you have your scan for telling you the sex of your little one, you can send me a PM and I will make you some baby clothes. I am grandma to 16 children do I am always making something.
    I hope school works out for you and you will be able to give your little one a bright future.
    Thank you so much! And thank you for your kind words and support, I will be doing my very best to ensure the little one has a bright future and a mummy with a good job who can provide everything they need xx
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    (Original post by CounTolstoy)
    OP is seeking re-assurance in an attempt to justify the situation she is in. There is no acceptable explanation for having a child at such an age.
    Hey, I don't disagree with you. But if she's happy, she's happy. Putting that responsibility on her mum is pretty selfish at a glance, but if her mum's happy to do it and her boyfriend/parents can, and want to, finance the family then there's no fuss.

    Freedom of choice and ****.
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    (Original post by GradeA*UnderA)
    I don't really understand the logic of "people looking down on you". I mean, your boyfriend is staying with you and you couldn't have had that many relationships at 16 years old. If they do, just tell them to **** off.

    Just try and go about things as you normally would. There's no need to drastically change anything just because of the circumstances (unless it's necessary for the child, naturally.).
    True! We have been together over 3 years but people at my college are so *****y, I will have to learn to do that though lol
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    (Original post by Anna.Karenina)
    Ah yes, I remember when I ruined my life by having my child during my second year of university. I attended until my due date, and came back a month after giving birth. Got a first overall, and have a job waiting for me at UK Parliament after I graduate, and have only been away from my son for the two months left of university I had where a friend babysat him for two hours twice a week. I also manage this with a severe disability, and run a charity to help those with my same condition. But please, tell me more about how I ruined my life and so many opportunities :-)
    Wow massive congratulations I feel so happy for you!! You are definitely an inspiration for me! I'm hoping to study law with politics and have recently just done work experience in parliament lol! I loved it there and I hope all goes very well in your new job! Well done for showing that cynical poster as well keep up the good work xx
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    I brought up a grandchild on my own and he is now 17 and at college. As long as the child is loved and cared for, that is all that matters.
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    (Original post by Anna.Karenina)
    I'm afraid I can't see a massive difference.

    Getting the child's grandmother to look after him/her is no different to parents who work full time and have to use babysitters. She will still be carrying and birthing the child, buying things for the child, getting up for night feeds, experiencing all of their milestones, playing with the child etc.
    Agreed! I will be doing all of this!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Wow massive congratulations I feel so happy for you!! You are definitely an inspiration for me! I'm hoping to study law with politics and have recently just done work experience in parliament lol! I loved it there and I hope all goes very well in your new job! Well done for showing that cynical poster as well keep up the good work xx
    Don't get me wrong, pregnancy is bloody tiring! I was doing an hour's commute 38 weeks pregnant, with a disability (similar to diabetes), and was considered a high risk pregnancy. And when I came back after having my son, the sleepless nights took their toll, but there is no greater joy than children, and knowing everything you do is for your little ones. I'd have another in a heartbeat. My baby is just perfection personified, and you will think the same about yours. Don't listen to people who tell you that you won't have time to do your work - my son has been playing by himself in his play pen for three hours with his plethora of toys whilst I've finished my Personal Statement.

    Thank you very much! Blank out the negativity and get excited - thought of names yet?
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    Well, it certainly sounds like you have a good support network around you and have thought carefully about your plans, so I hope all goes well for you.

    The one thing I would caution you about is your plan to pop the baby out in the Easter holidays and then be back at school 2 weeks later. Firstly, only about 5% of babies arrive on their due date, there's a significant chance he/she could be early or late, so don't set any plans in stone! Secondly, 2 weeks is a VERY short recovery time, especially if you have a C-section or a difficult birth with tearing etc. It's not enough time to establish breastfeeding, and if you do go back to school for full days, you may well not be able to do that anyway because of the length of time you'll be away from your baby. You may well not be physically or mentally ready to go back into school, especially into your final exam term, within such a short period (which will of course be shorter if baby goes overdue). That's before you consider whether you'll be able to stay in school right up till delivery - it works fine for some people but for others it's just too physically difficult in the last few weeks. I'd suggest talking to your tutors in a few weeks about your plans, and have a backup of deferring your exams/uni place if necessary.
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    (Original post by Helenia)
    Well, it certainly sounds like you have a good support network around you and have thought carefully about your plans, so I hope all goes well for you.

    The one thing I would caution you about is your plan to pop the baby out in the Easter holidays and then be back at school 2 weeks later. Firstly, only about 5% of babies arrive on their due date, there's a significant chance he/she could be early or late, so don't set any plans in stone! Secondly, 2 weeks is a VERY short recovery time, especially if you have a C-section or a difficult birth with tearing etc. It's not enough time to establish breastfeeding, and if you do go back to school for full days, you may well not be able to do that anyway because of the length of time you'll be away from your baby. You may well not be physically or mentally ready to go back into school, especially into your final exam term, within such a short period (which will of course be shorter if baby goes overdue). That's before you consider whether you'll be able to stay in school right up till delivery - it works fine for some people but for others it's just too physically difficult in the last few weeks. I'd suggest talking to your tutors in a few weeks about your plans, and have a backup of deferring your exams/uni place if necessary.
    I agree - my son was born on his due date, worked up until said due date, I had no tearing and had an unmedicated natural delivery, and was out of the hospital the same day with a baby already happy to breastfeed, but I know I am definitely an exception.
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    (Original post by Anna.Karenina)
    I agree - my son was born on his due date, worked up until said due date, I had no tearing and had an unmedicated natural delivery, and was out of the hospital the same day with a baby already happy to breastfeed, but I know I am definitely an exception.
    You're very lucky - what's your secret?!

    I'm 37 weeks and stopped work last Friday - I do a relatively physical job which also requires me to be mentally on my toes, and it was getting too much to do it safely. Fortunately I also have a decent maternity package so can take plenty of time off afterwards - I realise that the OP's situation is different but still think it's important to be realistic about just how much of a change is going to happen.
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    (Original post by Helenia)
    You're very lucky - what's your secret?!

    I'm 37 weeks and stopped work last Friday - I do a relatively physical job which also requires me to be mentally on my toes, and it was getting too much to do it safely. Fortunately I also have a decent maternity package so can take plenty of time off afterwards - I realise that the OP's situation is different but still think it's important to be realistic about just how much of a change is going to happen.
    Is this your first?
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    (Original post by Anna.Karenina)
    Don't get me wrong, pregnancy is bloody tiring! I was doing an hour's commute 38 weeks pregnant, with a disability (similar to diabetes), and was considered a high risk pregnancy. And when I came back after having my son, the sleepless nights took their toll, but there is no greater joy than children, and knowing everything you do is for your little ones. I'd have another in a heartbeat. My baby is just perfection personified, and you will think the same about yours. Don't listen to people who tell you that you won't have time to do your work - my son has been playing by himself in his play pen for three hours with his plethora of toys whilst I've finished my Personal Statement.

    Thank you very much! Blank out the negativity and get excited - thought of names yet?
    I know it will be tiring and I'm preparing myself for that! Haha hopefully my baby will be content with playing alone as well, that would be good! And at the moment I have Sophia and Aribella for a girl and Lucien and Mason for a boy lol X
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    (Original post by Anna.Karenina)
    Is this your first?
    Yep - excited and terrified, and I'm a lot older than the OP!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know it will be tiring and I'm preparing myself for that! Haha hopefully my baby will be content with playing alone as well, that would be good! And at the moment I have Sophia and Aribella for a girl and Lucien and Mason for a boy lol X
    Aww lovely names! I had such a hard time picking out my son's.

    Also remember your due date is just an approximation - you could go 2 weeks over!
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    (Original post by Helenia)
    Yep - excited and terrified, and I'm a lot older than the OP!
    Congratulations! I was a very lucky with my son - only in labour for five and a half hours! I know you're a baby doctor, so I won't patronise you, but I had a positive labour because I was so relaxed. I had no narcotics, no tearing, discharged after six hours because all I thought about was after a horrific pregnancy, I was so close to having my beautiful baby. I think working up to 40 weeks meant I couldn't think about the labour - it has to be done, so just breathe through it and listen to your midwives.

    The hardest weeks are the first six weeks. Then they start smiling back at you, learning the difference between night and day, and stop being glued to your boob all day! It's the most extraordinary journey and one I'd happily repeat!

    Warmest congratulations Are you expecting a boy or a girl?
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    (Original post by Helenia)
    Well, it certainly sounds like you have a good support network around you and have thought carefully about your plans, so I hope all goes well for you.

    The one thing I would caution you about is your plan to pop the baby out in the Easter holidays and then be back at school 2 weeks later. Firstly, only about 5% of babies arrive on their due date, there's a significant chance he/she could be early or late, so don't set any plans in stone! Secondly, 2 weeks is a VERY short recovery time, especially if you have a C-section or a difficult birth with tearing etc. It's not enough time to establish breastfeeding, and if you do go back to school for full days, you may well not be able to do that anyway because of the length of time you'll be away from your baby. You may well not be physically or mentally ready to go back into school, especially into your final exam term, within such a short period (which will of course be shorter if baby goes overdue). That's before you consider whether you'll be able to stay in school right up till delivery - it works fine for some people but for others it's just too physically difficult in the last few weeks. I'd suggest talking to your tutors in a few weeks about your plans, and have a backup of deferring your exams/uni place if necessary.
    If it comes early I will just have to leave earlier than half term and if it's late I will just have to have less recovery time. Luckily my sixth form is only a 10 min drive so travel before and after is already sorted. Even if the baby is late and I go back with less than 2 weeks recovery, my timetable is not packed at all. I only have around 2-4 hours of lessons a day as I'm only doing 2 a levels this year and an extended project qualification. This is because I did 1 A level and 2 AS levels for my first year so that worked out rather well for me lol To make it even better, I only have 3 exams as one subject is mainly coursework based. Hopefully the work load will be fine for me
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    (Original post by Anna.Karenina)
    Aww lovely names! I had such a hard time picking out my son's.

    Also remember your due date is just an approximation - you could go 2 weeks over!
    Do you know if I would be able to ask to be induced if it goes over my due date? I've seen on programmes like teen mom the mother has asked to be induced for being uncomfortable over her due date. Could I say the same and get it done?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If it comes early I will just have to leave earlier than half term and if it's late I will just have to have less recovery time. Luckily my sixth form is only a 10 min drive so travel before and after is already sorted. Even if the baby is late and I go back with less than 2 weeks recovery, my timetable is not packed at all. I only have around 2-4 hours of lessons a day as I'm only doing 2 a levels this year and an extended project qualification. This is because I did 1 A level and 2 AS levels for my first year so that worked out rather well for me lol To make it even better, I only have 3 exams as one subject is mainly coursework based. Hopefully the work load will be fine for me
    Well, you seem happy that it'll all be fine, and I really hope it is. I'm not trying to doom-monger, but I've seen plenty of ladies post-delivery and doubt many of them would be bouncing back to college within a few days! Just be realistic and don't brush concerns under the carpet.

    Most places will induce at between 41+3 and 42 weeks, unless there's a medical reason to do it beforehand. "Feeling uncomfortable" isn't a reason.

    (Original post by Anna.Karenina)
    Congratulations! I was a very lucky with my son - only in labour for five and a half hours! I know you're a baby doctor, so I won't patronise you, but I had a positive labour because I was so relaxed. I had no narcotics, no tearing, discharged after six hours because all I thought about was after a horrific pregnancy, I was so close to having my beautiful baby. I think working up to 40 weeks meant I couldn't think about the labour - it has to be done, so just breathe through it and listen to your midwives.

    The hardest weeks are the first six weeks. Then they start smiling back at you, learning the difference between night and day, and stop being glued to your boob all day! It's the most extraordinary journey and one I'd happily repeat!

    Warmest congratulations Are you expecting a boy or a girl?
    It's a boy, but we're still stuck for names, hoping inspiration will strike when he arrives! I have to say one of the things I'm looking forward to most is not being pregnant any more!
 
 
 
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