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fooling around with guys at uni but without actual sex, would they be up for it? Watch

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    (Original post by Profesh)
    Are you kidding? My nineteen-year-old self would have wept tears of 200-proof joy at such a prospect. (Also, probably afterwards: my nineteen-year-old self was a ****ing basket-case.)
    Okay so from what I see on this thread some guys would be ok with it and some wouldn't.
    But I have another question : During a night clubbing or party etc ( I'm using this example as I'm guessing that's the most likely place to find people who are looking for something casual like me ) how am I supposed to let guys know I'm interested by them ? I don't want people to think I'm slutty but if no one I'd consider make a move, I don't know what I could do.
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    I'm willing to bet this'll end in tears.
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    (Original post by Napp)
    I'm willing to bet this'll end in tears.
    why ? I know myself and know I wouldn't get attached to anyone .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay so from what I see on this thread some guys would be ok with it and some wouldn't.
    But I have another question : During a night clubbing or party etc ( I'm using this example as I'm guessing that's the most likely place to find people who are looking for something casual like me ) how am I supposed to let guys know I'm interested by them ? I don't want people to think I'm slutty but if no one I'd consider make a move, I don't know what I could do.
    these are not the kind of questions for TSR lmao. besides everyone here is a virgin.

    more than likely you will end up doing casual stuff with one of your flatmates which will either then continue into a relationship or end badly. seen this happen 100s of times.
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    (Original post by Tabstercat)
    these are not the kind of questions for TSR lmao. besides everyone here is a virgin.

    more than likely you will end up doing casual stuff with one of your flatmates which will either then continue into a relationship or end badly. seen this happen 100s of times.
    my flatmates will all be girls so you're wrong lol
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    You are definitely fooling yourself. You are going to lose it in freshers. Maybe even on the first night
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    my flatmates will all be girls so you're wrong lol
    flat next to you then

    (Original post by RelucBeam)
    You are definitely fooling yourself. You are going to lose it in freshers. Maybe even on the first night
    probably this though
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    (Original post by RelucBeam)
    You are definitely fooling yourself. You are going to lose it in freshers. Maybe even on the first night
    lol nope since I can't take the pill I would never do that the fear of getting pregnant and ruining my life is just too strong haha.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lol nope since I can't take the pill I would never do that the fear of getting pregnant and ruining my life is just too strong haha.
    Alcohol will inhibit those sensible thoughts.

    Additionally, the guys that know what they're doing will persuade you in such a way that you wont even care and you'll just be desperate for D.
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    Personally, I would refuse. But that's just me not wanting casual not-sex-sex, or anything casual. I'm sure there's hundreds of guys that wouldn't mind, though.
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    Honestly, though, I'd really think about why you want to do this. Don't think in terms of what you want, be truly introspective and decide if it is a good decision to look for hook ups so readily without commitment. Same goes for anyone. I know abusive relationships affect people differently, so try to reflect on everything that's culminated in your experiences and learn from them rather than dwell on them. If you're using this time to work on yourself personally, just remember that there will always be some emotion in sex, even if it's not sex-sex. All the more to you if you're exploring your sexuality and building yourself, just be careful, introspective and stay safe in doing so. Make anyone you are planning on having a stint with well aware of your intentions beforehand, too. I can't stress how much it hurts to develop a connection to someone that only thought of your relationship as a casual fling.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lol nope since I can't take the pill I would never do that the fear of getting pregnant and ruining my life is just too strong haha.
    So you're not going to have the sex for your whole life because you can't take the Pill? The thing you said about being an abusive relationship and therefore wanting to avoid sex is understandable - I feel the same - but the stuff you say about contraception makes you come across as though you didn't get very good sex education at school? I'd suggest looking into the contraception options available to you. Condoms are very reliable but if you want to be extra safe there are numerous options available other than the Pill. And if you did get pregnant, abortions exist, and early stage abortions simply involve taking a pill, which needn't be traumatic.
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    (Original post by Elastichedgehog)
    Of course. Plenty of guys in university will be virgins anyway.
    and I'm sure they'd rather avoid OP than remain that way.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay so from what I see on this thread some guys would be ok with it and some wouldn't.
    But I have another question : During a night clubbing or party etc ( I'm using this example as I'm guessing that's the most likely place to find people who are looking for something casual like me ) how am I supposed to let guys know I'm interested by them ? I don't want people to think I'm slutty but if no one I'd consider make a move, I don't know what I could do.
    If you're looking for a hook-up, don't beat around the bush. If people are going to think you're slutty for hooking up with a bunch of guys, they aren't exactly wrong. It shouldn't affect you too much if you're not ****ing with guys emotionally.
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    The pill is not the only contraception out there for girls. I can't take it myself for medical reasons but there is the implant and the coil. Discuss your options with the GP. They're not for everyone but don't trust everything on the Internet.

    Re the sexual abuse, have you spoken to anyone about it? That might help you resolve, or at least get close to, your fears.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi ! So long story short, I'm a virgin, as in I've never had actual sex, but I've done pretty much everything else. I don't want to have sex because I was in a relationship where I was kinda abused and it was bordering sexual assault I think, and also I cant take the pill for medical reasons so I'd never want to have sex right now by fear of getting pregnant while I'm at uni. But a girl got needs lol and I wouldn't mind doing stuff with guys, but keeping it casual, I don't want a relationship out of it. So my question is would guys at uni refuse doing stuff but not having actual sex ?
    Depends on the guy - just make sure you explain what you want properly to them and let them know if they're pushing for things you're uncomfortable with.

    I'm sure someone will agree.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay so from what I see on this thread some guys would be ok with it and some wouldn't.
    But I have another question : During a night clubbing or party etc ( I'm using this example as I'm guessing that's the most likely place to find people who are looking for something casual like me ) how am I supposed to let guys know I'm interested by them ? I don't want people to think I'm slutty but if no one I'd consider make a move, I don't know what I could do.
    Just tell them, at uni I don't think people will call you slutty and if they do they're not the sort of people you want as friends anyway.
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    (Original post by AlexLawrence1453)
    If you're looking for a hook-up, don't beat around the bush. If people are going to think you're slutty for hooking up with a bunch of guys, they aren't exactly wrong. It shouldn't affect you too much if you're not ****ing with guys emotionally.
    I hate how people don't see guys who do the same as slutty, that's so unfair.
    But yeah I wouldn't be the kind of person who plays with other people's feelings, I hate the people who do that.
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    Is this what people go to uni for???

    I'm getting this whole thing wrong
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    Well, if I felt comfortable, was attracted to you for both your personality and body/face, and was the kind of guy to fool around with a girl I'd probably be down for it as I'm not into sex. However I'm not the kind of guy that could fool around with anyone.

    There will be plenty of guys who would be down for what you want, more so if you explain why you don't want to have sex.
 
 
 
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