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    You have leave to him
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    This is controlling behavior. You can argue that this has only happened once, however it shows he is capable of acting violent towards you. This reaction to an innocent text is completely ridiculous, it's possessive and worrying. If I were you, I would end the relationship. He assaulted you.
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    Thank you all for your advice.
    He came back with flowers as if that would help.
    He asked me if I'm breaking up with him and I told him I wanted some space for now and we'll decide later. He cried, but it was all pathetic to me. I should be the one crying. Then he left.

    I'm on my way to carnival now so at least I'll experience some enjoyment. I've blocked his number for now because I know he would be non stop calling/texting
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    I felt a bit sick after A. he shoved you into a wall and B. he took your car.

    On second thought I would not take any risks. Have a friend or family member there to protect if you necessary and/or call the police - I think he can be arrested for doing both of those things and maybe that's worth doing.
    Yeah im thinking about pressing charges, at least then he'll really understand that he behaved terribly
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you all for your advice.
    He came back with flowers as if that would help.
    He asked me if I'm breaking up with him and I told him I wanted some space for now and we'll decide later. He cried, but it was all pathetic to me. I should be the one crying. Then he left.

    I'm on my way to carnival now so at least I'll experience some enjoyment. I've blocked his number for now because I know he would be non stop calling/texting
    Good on you, you're dealing with it really well! Have fun today!
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    It doesn't matter whether he intended to injure her or not. Wasn't a man jailed for Manslaughter recently for punching his mate while on holiday and the one punch instantly killed him? He never intended to kill him. It was just one punch. But his action resulted in his friend's death. He is completely responsible.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you all for your advice.
    He came back with flowers as if that would help.
    He asked me if I'm breaking up with him and I told him I wanted some space for now and we'll decide later. He cried, but it was all pathetic to me. I should be the one crying. Then he left.

    I'm on my way to carnival now so at least I'll experience some enjoyment. I've blocked his number for now because I know he would be non stop calling/texting
    I think you know what you have to do, it's just a matter of you realising it and doing it. You will never ever be able to trust him with your safety again.
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    (Original post by AnnaRainbows)
    It seems like he's scared of losing you and doesn't know how to handle it. Perhaps he thought you'd be going to the carnival with your ex?

    You should talk to him first and find out, running away from the problem won't do any good especially when you already invested quite a lot of time into the relationship.
    He probably did think I was going to the carnival with my ex, either that or he thought I'd be flirting with guys.

    I will probably end up properly discussing it with him, I'm just not ready to do it yet. I can't even stand to be in the same room as him. My parents love him and always say how lucky I am to have found someone who treats me right, that makes this whole thing so much more difficult
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    (Original post by the bear)
    assault and battery is a criminal offence. taking and driving away a car without permission is also a felony.

    call the cops.
    I agree call the police and dump him.
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    I think it's very important to realise that this really is not normal behavior in a relationship, at all.
    To be honest - people on here saying he might just be scared to loose you.. that doesn't make any difference at all.
    In fact, that's a sign that this isn't likely to stop - all the more likely to continue and get worse.
    You need to make it clear that this no man treats a woman like that - it's pathetic.. And then swiftly depart from the relationship - seems the best way to handle it.
    This is also good because if you make it clear that this is not okay and then leave him, he is less likely to do it to another person in future.
    Also, if he says he's 'so, so, sorry' and 'won't do it again' - you can bet your ass he will. To be in the mindset to act that way towards your girlfriend is very wrong and will only end if it ends...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He probably did think I was going to the carnival with my ex, either that or he thought I'd be flirting with guys.

    I will probably end up properly discussing it with him, I'm just not ready to do it yet. I can't even stand to be in the same room as him. My parents love him and always say how lucky I am to have found someone who treats me right, that makes this whole thing so much more difficult
    Your parents will soon change their mind if they found out he hurt you like that, come on it is a no brainer anyone who hits another person shouldn't be forgiven and look he has shown he is paranoid as well, that what you want to be stuck with, someone who won't let you go out with friends?
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    (Original post by markova21)
    It doesn't matter whether he intended to injure her or not. Wasn't a man jailed for Manslaughter recently for punching his mate while on holiday and the one punch instantly killed him? He never intended to kill him. It was just one punch. But his action resulted in his friend's death. He is completely responsible.

    You've indirectly shown that intentions do actually matter as if he had intended to kill his friend he would be in jail for murder right now, instead of manslaughter. Manslaughter is a lessor punishment given to perpetrators who did not intend to kill their victim.

    Had the OP written that her bf grabbed her by the neck and slammed her head into a wall and she hurt her head I would probably be saying that she should terminate the relationship, ...

    however because he did not intend to hurt her ... i personally think she should perhaps give him one more chance.
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    Dump him dump him dump him. I cannot stress this enough, these are early signs of an abhsive and controlling relationship. What he did was not a normal reaction. Do not waste the better part of your years on this guy.
    Do you have any family or close friends you can talk to or stay with?
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    (Original post by AnnaRainbows)
    It seems like he's scared of losing you and doesn't know how to handle it. Perhaps he thought you'd be going to the carnival with your ex?

    You should talk to him first and find out, running away from the problem won't do any good especially when you already invested quite a lot of time into the relationship.
    I'm sorry but we all get upset and we all get jealous, that does NOT in any way make violence and theft forgivable. "Running away from the problem" suggests that they were both wrong and need to work on their relationship. Running away from what has the hallmarks of an abusive relationship is perfectly reasonable.
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    You've indirectly shown that intentions do actually matter as if he had intended to kill his friend he would be in jail for murder right now, instead of manslaughter. Manslaughter is a lessor punishment given to perpetrators who did not intend to kill their victim.

    Had the OP written that her bf grabbed her by the neck and slammed her head into a wall and she hurt her head I would probably be saying that she should terminate the relationship, ...

    however because he did not intend to hurt her ... i personally think she should perhaps give him one more chance.
    How do you know what his intentions were? After he saw that she hit her head, he didn't check on her. No, he ran off and took her car with him.

    And that can't compare to a sibling nicking your CD or the like because they are not doing so to control you or restrict your freedom of movement; MASSIVE difference.
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    Wow. Sounds bad.

    I have somewhat of a temper, but the worst I have ever done is get loud and say "ok enough" and that was in an argument.

    He sounds very controlling and the fact he used physical intimidation rather than verbal (which is bad enough) says a lot about his character.

    Sorry.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend of almost 3 years saw a text from an old boyfriend on my phone a few days ago and he got really angry. I tried to explain that it was innocent, but he wasn't having it. Anyway, for those of you who don't know, carnival is today and I planned to go with a friend. I was going to go with my boyfriend but he has work. Anyway, he's staying with me at my house and as I was getting ready, he decided that he's not comfortable with me going anymore especially since he wouldn't be there with me. I told him that I'm going anyway and he took my car keys. I tried to take them from him and we were sort of wrestling for it. I grabbed them from him and he shoved me against a wall and I hit my head. He then took the keys from me again. I told him to get out of my house. He did so, and he took my car with him. This all happened only a couple of hours ago. Since then, he's called me numerous times apologising but I'm still so shocked. I told him to bring my car back and he's on his way.

    This has never happened before, he's never laid a finger on me and now I'm fearful that he'll get more violent over time. I don't even know what to say to him when he gets here. What should I do?
    Hi,

    First, sorry that this happened to you.

    I disagree with some posts about you dumping your boyfriend. He has been your boyfriend for 3 long years. If it was a pattern of violent behaviour from his side, then it makes sense to quit the relationship. However, from what you have written, it appears to be a one-off which should not warrant an overreaction in my opinion. Yes, taking your car is a stupid move on his part, but it does not mean that you should dump him.

    You know him better than other posters on TSR, so you should decide whether he was just too emotional to control his behaviour. You said that there was a text message from your ex-boyfriend, have you deleted the text(s) and cut off any ties to your ex?

    No sane man will be cool with his woman having texts of ex-boyfriends on their phone. It is also the same with women.. If it was you, how would you have reacted to seeing texts from his ex-girlfriends on his phone? Would you have been upset or brush it aside like it means nothing?

    Now, I am in no way defending your boyfriend's actions but I am trying to reason with you before you make a mistake and regret later.

    My advice is that you have a discussion with him and tell him NEVER to do that again. You make your demands clear and ensure that he agrees to boundaries. if he agrees, then you carefully continue with him; if not, then you part ways.

    We need to calm down and make amends rather than looking for the next person, when something happens.

    Couples fight and argue, but they make up. That is what differentiates young love from grown up relationships.

    In the end, it is your decision, but think carefully before throwing 3 years away.

    Good luck.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend of almost 3 years saw a text from an old boyfriend on my phone a few days ago and he got really angry. I tried to explain that it was innocent, but he wasn't having it. Anyway, for those of you who don't know, carnival is today and I planned to go with a friend. I was going to go with my boyfriend but he has work. Anyway, he's staying with me at my house and as I was getting ready, he decided that he's not comfortable with me going anymore especially since he wouldn't be there with me. I told him that I'm going anyway and he took my car keys. I tried to take them from him and we were sort of wrestling for it. I grabbed them from him and he shoved me against a wall and I hit my head. He then took the keys from me again. I told him to get out of my house. He did so, and he took my car with him. This all happened only a couple of hours ago. Since then, he's called me numerous times apologising but I'm still so shocked. I told him to bring my car back and he's on his way.

    This has never happened before, he's never laid a finger on me and now I'm fearful that he'll get more violent over time. I don't even know what to say to him when he gets here. What should I do?
    He hit you and took your car? :lolwut:

    Breaking up seems imperative.
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    Hi,

    First, sorry that this happened to you.

    I disagree with some posts about you dumping your boyfriend. He has been your boyfriend for 3 long years. If it was a pattern of violent behaviour from his side, then it makes sense to quit the relationship. However, from what you have written, it appears to be a one-off which should not warrant an overreaction in my opinion. Yes, taking your car is a stupid move on his part, but it does not mean that you should dump him.

    You know him better than other posters on TSR, so you should decide whether he was just too emotional to control his behaviour. You said that there was a text message from your ex-boyfriend, have you deleted the text(s) and cut off any ties to your ex?

    No sane man will be cool with his woman having texts of ex-boyfriends on their phone. It is also the same with women.. If it was you, how would you have reacted to seeing texts from his ex-girlfriends on his phone? Would you have been upset or brush it aside like it means nothing?

    Now, I am in no way defending your boyfriend's actions but I am trying to reason with you before you make a mistake and regret later.

    My advice is that you have a discussion with him and tell him NEVER to do that again. You make your demands clear and ensure that he agrees to boundaries. if he agrees, then you carefully continue with him; if not, then you part ways.

    We need to calm down and make amends rather than looking for the next person, when something happens.

    Couples fight and argue, but they make up. That is what differentiates young love from grown up relationships.

    In the end, it is your decision, but think carefully before throwing 3 years away.

    Good luck.
    We can all agree that he crossed a line with his angry outburst but I agree with this poster completely. I would say the exact thing. I would add this though. You've known your boyfriend longer than anyone and you've said that he's never behaved in such a manner. I agree that your boyfriend sounds controlling in this situation but what is left unclear is the nature of the text with the ex. that caused this reaction. Was it still on your phone from 3 yrs ago or was it new? Has he ever been given a reason to worry about your behavior when you're out? No, he shouldn't have shoved you and no he shouldn't have taken your car. Not sure at this point you should press charges but that is up to you. If your boyfriend is not one to normally behave in that manner as you've said what made him snap? Are all his positive actions from the past 3 years negated over his actions from today. Only you can decide that. But, I'm wondering (and perhaps I'm wrong) if that was a new next from the ex and that there was discussion of meeting - or something along this lines - that made your bf go off. That DOES NOT excuse shoving and taking your car. I would consider what lead him to that unusual reaction, from what you said, before you leave him with an assault charge on his record.
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    Break up with him, if you have even an inkling of doubt, get out of the relationship. You shouldn't be fearful in a relationship, you should be comfortable. I'd recommend calling the cops as well.
 
 
 
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