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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Brit Pakistani have to be one of the Uncoolest people to be in the UK today. No one likes us. Nothing cool about us. Sexist controlling men(from my own experience) Nothing positive about us in the media. No famous female British Pakistani role models-no famous pak Brit females full stop. So many negative news stories e.g, grooming, gangs etc

    We're crap at sports apart from cricket. Our food is good but it will always be called "Indian food".

    All my relatives are married to their cousins. Therefore family want me to marry my cousin from a village in pak FML. Brb living under parent rules when young. Brb living under husbands and in laws rules when married off. Brb no freedom. Brb no self expression allowed esp if you're female. Brb compulsory to cook and clean for a girl.

    On top of that coming from a Muslim background people are suspicious of us.
    Gosh that all sounds a bit grim. the biggest part for me would be how my own culture/ community/ family controls and impedes the life I want to lead.

    Study well, get a good job then gain some financial independence. You may then need to make the decision whether you are willing to break from your fmaily if they dont wnat to let you live the life you want. I'd hate what you describe and would plan to escape it. Study hard and plan carefully. There must be enough others who have escaped the doom you describe or in fact met partners who they like and arent as restrictive?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well I'll just feel guilty for letting them down.

    Are you a Haraami?
    I forgot about my name Well I'm not exactly Halal...


    You can be a good person and still live your own life, rebels are the best of people.
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    (Original post by sdotd)
    I know loads of muslims. Arabs, Indian, African etc. But they all hate muslims from Pakistan as they give muslims a bad name.
    Heyyyy heyheyhey I'm Arab and almost all my Muslim friends including my best friend are all pakistani. Das ******** generalisation. Pakistanis tend to be nice people from what I've seen.
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    this thread is retarded
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Baroness Warsi?
    pttfffffffffff no :lol:
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    (Original post by z33)
    Heyyyy heyheyhey I'm Arab and almost all my Muslim friends including my best friend are all pakistani. Das ******** generalisation. Pakistanis tend to be nice people from what I've seen.
    Don't shoot the messenger
    • #4
    #4

    If it helps, I think Pakistan is an interesting country, and generally think it's cool when someone(/'s parents) are from a different country to me, regardless of what that country is, because you hear a different point of view in things

    Living in the UK doesn't mean you'll never face controlling partners/arranged marriage/etc, but I guess it puts you in a better position to resist it (although I understand this can be difficult with family pressure and so on).

    Anyone who associates British Pakistanis (or any group) with negative stories and stereotypes like what you find in the media is not worth listening to
    • #5
    #5

    I live in Pakistan but i have some British friends. And tbh they all are fine with me being a muslim. And fyi there are many Pak british personalities who are successful and respected all over the world. london is being controlled by a pakistani. And if ur family wants you to marry your cousin then that is traditional not islamic. You can marry anyone you want to marry. some of the british people who hate muslims bcz they think we are terrorist. according to CNN there are only 0.006625% muslim population are extremist.So you should learn to ignore them.
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    Do you not watch the news? Every time there is an Islamic terror incident there is always a corresponding post about how some Muslims planted some peace flowers or something.

    Mate, step away from those controlling and sexist men. You do not deserved to be abused.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hmm I don't think Arabs/Afrcans are any better with their 16 wives.
    This is funny cause i rarely see a british somali with 16 wives. Maybe 16 kids :rofl:
    • #6
    #6

    If you don't mind me asking are your family religious or very culture?From what I'm hearing and from what I know, the way you are being treated is because of "back in the days" culture traditions. From a religious perspective, as a Muslim girl / woman your not allowed to be forced in to a marriage and as a Muslim girl you have every right to speak what's on your mind and express yourself. As a Muslim girl you have every right to an education ect. In the religion of Islam it is said from what I have learnt that woman have a right to property in the sense that if you make a living no man can take it and claim it for their own. You have a right. I really hope things get better for you. I hope one day people can see the difference between the "backwards" traditions and religion. When that happens, you will feel better. Don't get be wrong some of the traditions can be nice, but when it's striping you of being your own person that's when people need to take a step back and realise where they are going wrong. If your family are even a little religious, then hopefully they will realise everything they are doing to you is against your religion. Good luck x
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    (Original post by HaramiSalami)
    I forgot about my name Well I'm not exactly Halal...


    You can be a good person and still live your own life, rebels are the best of people.
    That username though
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    I'm a British Muslim Pakistan Female and I'm deeply offended. joke you're entitled to your opinion but I can't help feeling the same at times

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #7
    #7

    I'm not a girl but I feel like I can relate in some way. I'm also not pakistani but I look like I could be grouped into the whole Indian/Paki/Bengali group whatever. I don't like the image we've all painted for ourselves either, and they are definitely principles I will not bring in to my future family.


    I also don't like how repressed the girls are, it really stops them from being more refined individuals and when I meet someone who seems to be too deep into the control of their parents it makes me a bit disappointed inside when I see the potential she has. If I do get to know such a girl I'll encourage her to be more free.
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    (Original post by Kraixo)
    this thread is retarded
    This thread is degrading.
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    I'm with you up to a point, I mean as British Pakistani Female you do get a bit degraded in media and there is a lack of role models, however why focus on the media in looking for your role models, just be who you want to be rather than being someone else.

    I also understand the whole "married to cousin" situation, even though none of my aunties and uncles are, (I mean by blood)other members of my family and family friends are and I honestly think it's wrong but am not in the situation where it's ever a worry for me.

    I think we are however expected to do a lot at home whereas males don't really have any similar responsibilities, but I think this is more due to sexism than religion on its own.

    I think the worse thing is being judged by other Pakistanis and some family in terms of being too westernised and doing things which some stricter families deem as wrong such as being friends with non-Muslims, wearing western clothes, not wearing a hijab, parents allowing to go out alone etc.

    Overall, I feel like it doesn't really matter about media and doing what's expected, generally we're fine in society, and a lot has changed overall. I think maybe we should just be who we are and stop allowing some of society, or family etc to oppress us.
    • #8
    #8

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not a girl but I feel like I can relate in some way. I'm also not pakistani but I look like I could be grouped into the whole Indian/Paki/Bengali group whatever. I don't like the image we've all painted for ourselves either, and they are definitely principles I will not bring in to my future family.


    I also don't like how repressed the girls are, it really stops them from being more refined individuals and when I meet someone who seems to be too deep into the control of their parents it makes me a bit disappointed inside when I see the potential she has. If I do get to know such a girl I'll encourage her to be more free.
    Are you indian?
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    (Original post by saraxh)
    That username though
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    as a british pakistani and going to a white majority school I can tell you that is not the case sure people will judge you before they get to know you but so does everyone white=chav black=thief etc but once people know you then you won't have a problem and if I were in a relationship I would never treat my wife/girlfriend badly ever or oppress her in anyway
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Brb living under parent rules when young. Brb living under husbands and in laws rules when married off.
    (Original post by samina_ay)
    Well, i couldn't agree more. What do we pakistani women do exactly? Nothing.Live with our parents till we're married off, have kids, cook, clean, grow old and die.
    um... correct me if i'm wrong but isn't all this culture rather than religion?
    aren't women allowed to DEMAND their own accommodations when they get married?
    Aren't wives allowed to have rights of their own?
    you girls need to try standing your ground, ok against parents it may be hard but try to argue with religious logic.

    First things first - learn about your religion and your rights as a wife. here are a few facts that may baffle you:

    1. a woman cannot be forced into marrying any guy, the decision has to be her choice in the end because a forced marriage doesn't count as a marriage in Islam
    2. before marriage the woman is allowed to set her own demands. if she wants to continue working or studying after marriage or wants her own house or doesn't want to wear a hijab after marriage she is allowed to demand this. most guys say yes because if he refuses her demands then of course she can refuse the marriage
    3. believe it or not the only duty of a daughter-in-law to her parents-in-law is that she has to respect them because they are older than her. she does not have to listen to them, look after them and certainly does not have to put up with any abuse from them
    4. In fact if you study it properly, the only duty of a wife is to give her husband sex
    she doesn't even have to do any housework is she doesn't want to
    5. why oh why do all women forget this. you can walk out of a marriage as easily as you walked into one. if you're not getting your rights exercised or are getting any sort of abuse you can leave your husband. the sad thing is most women don't because of the 'taboo/shame' of being a divorced woman or think its the lesser of two evils to be marriage and miserable/controlled rather than single and alone. and this is the reason why a lot of men are able to treat their wives like doormats, because they know that their wives will let them get away with it

    if you've got nothing to threaten them with, they've got nothing to be intimidated by

    you don't need your parents to have your back. if you've got intelligence, knowledge and God on your side you can handle anything in life.
 
 
 
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