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Is it fine only going to a few nights out in the first month of Uni? Watch

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    (Original post by ToastiestZombie)
    Maybe I should have looked earlier because the wristband that matters is apparently sold out: http://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-ca...090192?aff=es2 Goddammit, I knew something like this would happen.
    don't stress, you may be able to get tickets on the door or worst case scenario you say to your flatmates 'oh no I'm so gutted I can't come out maybe we can do pre drinks together still?' and you don't have to go clubbing without looking antisocial
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    don't stress, you may be able to get tickets on the door or worst case scenario you say to your flatmates 'oh no I'm so gutted I can't come out maybe we can do pre drinks together still?' and you don't have to go clubbing without looking antisocial
    Ah, alright. Well it looks like they're doing a final release tonight so I should be able to get one then. I'll only be going for the first week's events, it's cheaper and I would be worn out by the second week anyway. Even if I can't I'll buy the Student Union one which, despite only being in one place, gives me enough to go out most nights if I want to.
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    (Original post by ToastiestZombie)
    I'm heading to Cardiff in a few weeks and well, I am absolutely s******g myself about going out, clubbing, pubs and all that.
    I felt exactly the same way as you this time last year, and now I realise how silly I was being worrying over freshers and uni in general! Before uni I didn't go clubbing or drink at all and was very shy and apprehensive about everything but I've honestly had the best year of my life at uni because I've done things out of my comfort zone and said yes to as much as possible. During freshers me and my flatmates went to pretty much everything and we all got the freshers flu and were hangover... but after that we were just going out once a week if that. I met so many great people during freshers week, some (most) I never spoke to again but I received such a huuuuge confidence boost by going out and getting involved it was great.

    Predrinks with your flatmates will probably be better than the night out itself, you get to know everyone and play funny drinking games Even when I wasn't drunk enough on nights out I still had a good time and there were plenty of people to have good conversations with, in fact the smoking area is prob my fav place to go in our SU and I don't even smoke

    Have a great time at uni, you'll love it

    (Original post by Abstract_Prism)

    I don't really understand that whole 'Force yourself to go to things you don't think you will enjoy!' argument. What would I gain from it?
    for me - friends, a social life and confidence
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    (Original post by lemxn)
    I felt exactly the same way as you this time last year, and now I realise how silly I was being worrying over freshers and uni in general! Before uni I didn't go clubbing or drink at all and was very shy and apprehensive about everything but I've honestly had the best year of my life at uni because I've done things out of my comfort zone and said yes to as much as possible. During freshers me and my flatmates went to pretty much everything and we all got the freshers flu and were hangover... but after that we were just going out once a week if that. I met so many great people during freshers week, some (most) I never spoke to again but I received such a huuuuge confidence boost by going out and getting involved it was great.

    Predrinks with your flatmates will probably be better than the night out itself, you get to know everyone and play funny drinking games Even when I wasn't drunk enough on nights out I still had a good time and there were plenty of people to have good conversations with, in fact the smoking area is prob my fav place to go in our SU and I don't even smoke

    Have a great time at uni, you'll love it
    Well thanks for the confidence boost, it's really a help. I've just got to remember that none of these people know me, my past or anything so I can forget all the times I've messed up socially and just begin anew. You are right, just saying yes to things is what you need to do, I'm not strapped for cash so that won't be an issue. It's also really nice to know that after the hype of the first week it does die down, one week is nothing really but two or three is just a bit too much for me.
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    (Original post by lemxn)
    for me - friends, a social life and confidence
    If you can get that from it then it's worth going.

    I know I wouldn't make any friends or have a good time though, so there's no point in forcing myself to go to somewhere where I'm going to be miserable.
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    First of all ignore Naruke, I'm so so similar to you so I understand completely how you feel.

    I started uni last year (later dropped out to restart) but I has the same worries. The first night I moved in a few houses had house parties or went to town but I stayed in and got to know my housemates/neighbors etc, as did a lot of others.

    I missed the first few freshers events in town and only went to one of the last ones with a few people from my house and course, we stayed out for about an hour or two, decided we weren't enjoying it too much and went home haha you will meet others who aren't keen clubbers/drinkers don't worry!

    My friends knew I wasnt too keen on going out but I still got invited plenty, just tell them it's not your thing to do often but you'd still like an invite so you can decide each time whether you fancy it not, rather than being excluded completely!

    I was in quite a few group messages so everyone would get usually get invited by that, but there was plenty times people said no because of study, other commitments or simply not fancying it!
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    (Original post by ToastiestZombie)
    Maybe I should have looked earlier because the wristband that matters is apparently sold out: http://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-ca...090192?aff=es2 Goddammit, I knew something like this would happen.
    Wouldn't worry. Normally freshers events are absolutely rammed and not that great to be honest. Alot of people will go to other clubs or just have flat parties etc. I remember freshers at Edinburgh, people were queuing round the block about 3 times haha. We took one look and went somewhere else
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    (Original post by Abstract_Prism)

    I don't really understand that whole 'Force yourself to go to things you don't think you will enjoy!' argument. What would I gain from it?

    I don't expect to make friends, but that's okay, I don't mind!

    The only kinds of people that I could possibly be friends with are other hermits like me, and I certainly won't find them at freshers events!
    When you graduate and jump into the employment world, you won't work alone in a cave. You will work with others. Now is the best time to learn to spend 8 hours of your day with others.
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    (Original post by Juichiro)
    When you graduate and jump into the employment world, you won't work alone in a cave. You will work with others. Now is the best time to learn to spend 8 hours of your day with others.
    I thought someone might say that.

    I know that I'll have to talk to people when I graduate. But the thing is, it's not like I don't know how to communicate. I can, but I just choose not to. It's not like talking to people and trying to socialise now will improve my ability to work with others, it doesn't work like that.

    So when I get a job, of course I will talk to people. But only when absolutely necessary; I will still try to socialise as little as possible when I'm working.

    You can't compare working where you have a goal you are trying to achieve, and socialising where the aim is just to make friends and have fun. If I don't want friends and can have fun by myself, why should I force myself to do something I don't want to do? It's not that I'm incapable: I just don't want to do it.
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    (Original post by Abstract_Prism)
    I thought someone might say that.

    I know that I'll have to talk to people when I graduate. But the thing is, it's not like I don't know how to communicate. I can, but I just choose not to. It's not like talking to people and trying to socialise now will improve my ability to work with others, it doesn't work like that.

    So when I get a job, of course I will talk to people. But only when absolutely necessary; I will still try to socialise as little as possible when I'm working.

    You can't compare working where you have a goal you are trying to achieve, and socialising where the aim is just to make friends and have fun. If I don't want friends and can have fun by myself, why should I force myself to do something I don't want to do? It's not that I'm incapable: I just don't want to do it.
    You will need a network when you jump in the world of employment and aim for success. You build that network by socialising with others not by isolating yourself or restricting yourself to strictly necessary talks in the workplace. Learning how to communicate with others is something that you get better at with practice.
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    (Original post by langlitz)
    Wouldn't worry. Normally freshers events are absolutely rammed and not that great to be honest. Alot of people will go to other clubs or just have flat parties etc. I remember freshers at Edinburgh, people were queuing round the block about 3 times haha. We took one look and went somewhere else
    Well it's too late now! I've bought a wristband for the first week. Only £50 though since I've saved up £250 for the entirety of September it's not that big of a deal.

    And another update, I've been talking to a few of my flatmates and none of them seem to be heavily into parties so really I don't have to worry all that much. I'll go to a few, join in whenever there's pre-drinks whether I'm going out or not and just join in with stuff.
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    I think the harsh reality is not going out will make you lose a ton of popularity at uni. My stomach dreads at the thought of the unholy mixing that those morons are going to make me do, but group pressure is group pressure.

    Go out, that's how you'll build friends. However, you must also build friends from a course or a society. Going out will get you some good mates and some alcoholic scumbags, whereas sober friendship will get you guaranteed good friends.

    I think all of us are fated to experience nausea and alcoholic poisoning at uni, that's the kinda place it is. But oh well. Life is unfair, to get friends and build good connections that will help you in your future career you have to do some bad things.
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    (Original post by LibertyMan)
    I think the harsh reality is not going out will make you lose a ton of popularity at uni. My stomach dreads at the thought of the unholy mixing that those morons are going to make me do, but group pressure is group pressure.

    Go out, that's how you'll build friends. However, you must also build friends from a course or a society. Going out will get you some good mates and some alcoholic scumbags, whereas sober friendship will get you guaranteed good friends.

    I think all of us are fated to experience nausea and alcoholic poisoning at uni, that's the kinda place it is. But oh well. Life is unfair, to get friends and build good connections that will help you in your future career you have to do some bad things.
    I don't think we're fated, as long as you join in and are holding something that looks like alcohol then you should be alright. Personally I might just stick to ciders and light beers when I'm out, but since I will actually be out I hopefully won't become unpopular.

    I'm also planning to join the Film Society and probably my course's society as well which should give me a varied range of sober friends as well.
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    (Original post by ToastiestZombie)
    I might just stick to ciders and light beers when I'm out.
    Well, I think that there is no absolute truth. If you are confident and charismatic, you will be popular regardless, I think that's very achievable. It's just that some form of binge drinking may be required.

    Also, I'm going to use these tactics:

    -Go to house parties or clubs rather than pub crawls, so the amount you've drank isn't clear.
    -Move around house parties so nobody can monitor how much you drink, or alternatively, engage in one deep conversation with a person so that you are distracted from the people doing drinking games etc, and you get to build a relationship with that person.
    -Stick to well known brands of alcohol, so you can buy them at several different locations, and don't end up mixing too much

    But yeah, as long as you don't stick out and have an "Im better than you for not drinking" attitude nobody will mind, and the rest of your friendship can be built on sobre activites. Sports is also a very good one, as doing sports with a person chemically bonds you.
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    (Original post by ToastiestZombie)
    Maybe I should have looked earlier because the wristband that matters is apparently sold out: http://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-ca...090192?aff=es2 Goddammit, I knew something like this would happen.
    Yh I didn't get a paper parties wristband either. Hopefully the SU events are good though. feelsbadman
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    (Original post by ErmalLaci)
    Yh I didn't get a paper parties wristband either. Hopefully the SU events are good though. feelsbadman
    Luckily I managed to get the first week one (likely won't be doing much second week as I'll be both physically and mentally exhausted). Can you just turn up to the Student Union events on the night and pay a ticket for a single event? I really don't want to pay £45 for the Wristband.
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    (Original post by ToastiestZombie)
    Luckily I managed to get the first week one (likely won't be doing much second week as I'll be both physically and mentally exhausted). Can you just turn up to the Student Union events on the night and pay a ticket for a single event? I really don't want to pay £45 for the Wristband.
    how did you get the first week one? or did you get it before
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    (Original post by ErmalLaci)
    how did you get the first week one? or did you get it before
    They did a final release two days ago, so unfortunately they've all sold out by now.
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    (Original post by ToastiestZombie)
    They did a final release two days ago, so unfortunately they've all sold out by now.

    oh lol, its nbd anyway freshers week will be a great time anyway
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    Stop stressing! it'll be fine!

    *When i started uni i didnt drink, and was kinda terrified of going out, i went out 2/3 times in freshers week with my housemates and other people, and it was decent! I had one or two drinks, but mainly just enjoyed being with new people dancing to some good music!
    Seriously, I wasn't a fan of freshers, but I would definitely say to try and go out (but you dont have to drink).
    One of my flatmates didnt go out, and has only been out clubbing once at uni, and hasn't really made many good friends. She has friends on the course to sit with and stuff but because she hasn't joined in ever going out, people aren't really sure when to invite her and stuff, so she misses out on the bonding that occurs outside of uni itself.


    Dont stress about freshers though, I didnt really enjoy the nights out that much (although i enjoyed them at the time), I found i made friends on my course and enjoyed nights out with them a lot more tbh.
 
 
 
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