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Crying until 5am because I'm a disappointment Watch

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    Read some success story threads on here to motivate you.
    Take a year out to resit your A levels, do some reflection- what went wrong? What will you do differently?
    Go to college to resit your subjects so that you're forced to do work throughout the year
    Get a part time job as well to have something extra to do
    Reapply to Cambridge and your other universities
    Change your revision tactic.
    Failing doesn't define you as a person, but how you choose to move on from here and pick yourself up does
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    (Original post by john2054)
    Sounds bad, what happened did you forget to revise?
    Wtf there is no need for these comments
    (Original post by stevenjamesleda)
    Excuse my french but: SCREW THEM. Literally, just think about it. Once you power through it in five years time you will look back and be able to say I proved you wrong. I had a very difficult time through High School and everyone was telling me how I wouldn't succeed in anything. Now I am going to Uni and looking forward to the future. Keep your head up high and you will come out on top!
    +1
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ignore your families comments. My family said the same thing about all my cousins (and me) is that we didn't have it in us to work and wouldn't get anywhere. We now all have jobs/are working towards a career of some sort. Your family DO NOT KNOW your future nor can they control it, it is all up to you Not getting into a uni is dissapointing to you, it does not make YOU a dissapointment. I remember when I got sacked from my first job as I couldnt make sandwiches fast enough. The manager wrote a letter and gave it to my friend to give me, basically everyone knew I'd been sacked before me lol. When I told my mum she said 'you're just a loser arn't you' I'l also remember those words. I'l also remember my mum saying when I was a teenager that if she was me she would slit her throat. My boyfriend has also said that if he was me he would commit suicide (because I don't really like sex and am not the passionate type he thinks there's no point living as i'l never have a normal relationship) Funnily enough he also said the same thing yesterday when he was thinking of breaking up with me. He said 'you might as well go and commit suicide' and it wasn't a full blown argument or anything I was calm and he was doing most of the talking. Maybe I don't want to commit suicide and I'm fairly happy with myself lol. Though when people say that it makes you feel that maybe you shouldn't be. People are too much hassle with their comments and drama, best thing is to just focus on yourself and achieving your goals. You are still young and don't have to succeed in things the first time, learn from mistakes and keep trying.
    +1 but why are you still going out with that douche bag? I don't understand why people like bringing people down..

    Listen OP!Firstly don't worry because worrying won't get you anywhere. You had an offer from Cambridge thats not something most people can brag about even on the student room :P. You clearly seem like a clever student who had serious personal issues I am currently in the same boat as you. People are not stupid you obviously had problems you dont go from A's to U's in days. Universities can be understanding of that. I am also spending an extra year sorting out my A-Levels. You feel worried that you have already spent 3 years so what? In the long run that is nothing. I would recommend you spend another year and sort it out and go to a university which is of your standards. No offense to your current university but it doesn't seem great taking someone with those grades unless they saw your circumstances but you spoke about how some dumb people from your school go their. Did you disclose all of this in UCAS and try get extra time because it sounds like you definitely deserve it. As for your family like I said I don't understand why people like bringing people down. My family did the same I just started ignoring them or speaking very little them until they sorted their act out. I don't know how it would work for you. I recommend retaking your A-Levels and maybe having a part-time if you can cope with it. You don't want to have a bad time in university and graduate from a bad uni when you could have done better and your heart is not in it. If you need to talk feel free to message me. Keep strong!
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I literally feel as if I'm having a mental breakdown. Long story short, I had an offer from Cambridge and I missed it. Like when I opened up my results paper, I literally had U grades across the board. Deep down, I knew my grades were going to be bad (I had a gut feeling I missed my offer because I've had hypochondria this whole year) but I didn't expect them to be THAT bad. So now I'm going to a local uni which isn't even a russell group. As if that wasn't a slap in the face, I have to deal with my friends and family. My brother said I was 'a **** up who flopped really bad' and I overheard my sister saying to my mum that I'm 'nothing more than a disappointment who can't get anything right'. Then my mum said I can just tell from 'the way I am' that I'll never be successful in life. My friends were treating me like a failure too. Before I got my grades they told me I was going to be so successful then on results day they were like 'oh you didn't get in? we were looking forward to visiting you at cambridge'. Another found out I was going to a local uni and said 'eeww thats full of wastemen'. Ontop of that some of the girls who I didn't get on with (who are also going to the same uni as me) were literally laughing at the fact that I ended up at that uni. I try to put on a brave face and tell everyone I'm really happy and idc about not getting into cambridge but deep down it hurts so bad. And it hits me at night and I just cry for hours. I'm having to put on this front when deep down I feel like such a failure. Last night I was crying until 5am. And this morning my sister said to me I need to rethink my career plan (I wanted to do investment banking but because I'm at a non target its going to be very very difficult to break in). I come from a really crap area and I thought going to cambridge and getting a good job would let me get away from this place but I just feel as if I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life. I've literally left the house twice since results day. I've stopped going to the gym or just generally out shopping. I just stay in my room crying. Uni starts in a couple of weeks and I can't even muster up any excitement. I'm struggling so badly to pick myself up again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    why don't you retake brobean?
    Which bean is this who I already repped :P. Also OP don't let your illness hold you back. Obviosuly it will have effects but you can't use that as an excuse. Well you can but I mean don't let it and become sucessful we are with you OP!
    • #1
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    #1

    Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. It says a lot when strangers on the internet treat you better than your own family and friends. A lot of people have suggested retaking but thats really a no go for me rn. Mainly because I can't bare to go back to A levels again (and starting uni when everyone I know is graduating) plus I don't get funding so I'm going to have to pay for coursework/exams myself (because my family are a bunch of *****)...I really just want to get my degree, secure a job and just move far far away from here asap
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. It says a lot when strangers on the internet treat you better than your own family and friends. A lot of people have suggested retaking but thats really a no go for me rn. Mainly because I can't bare to go back to A levels again (and starting uni when everyone I know is graduating) plus I don't get funding so I'm going to have to pay for coursework/exams myself (because my family are a bunch of *****)...I really just want to get my degree, secure a job and just move far far away from here asap
    You can pay for the coursework and exams with a part time job. See this as investing in your future
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. It says a lot when strangers on the internet treat you better than your own family and friends. A lot of people have suggested retaking but thats really a no go for me rn. Mainly because I can't bare to go back to A levels again (and starting uni when everyone I know is graduating) plus I don't get funding so I'm going to have to pay for coursework/exams myself (because my family are a bunch of *****)...I really just want to get my degree, secure a job and just move far far away from here asap
    Dont feel down. This community can be great espcially people who read these type of things and give great advice. You can 100% get funding and stuff I highly recommend you don't stay at that university. It is up to you but you need to overcome this sort of stuff if you want to be sucessful.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I literally feel as if I'm having a mental breakdown. Long story short, I had an offer from Cambridge and I missed it. Like when I opened up my results paper, I literally had U grades across the board. Deep down, I knew my grades were going to be bad (I had a gut feeling I missed my offer because I've had hypochondria this whole year) but I didn't expect them to be THAT bad. So now I'm going to a local uni which isn't even a russell group.

    As if that wasn't a slap in the face, I have to deal with my friends and family. My brother said I was 'a **** up who flopped really bad' and I overheard my sister saying to my mum that I'm 'nothing more than a disappointment who can't get anything right'. Then my mum said I can just tell from 'the way I am' that I'll never be successful in life.

    My friends were treating me like a failure too. Before I got my grades they told me I was going to be so successful then on results day they were like 'oh you didn't get in? we were looking forward to visiting you at cambridge'. Another found out I was going to a local uni and said 'eeww thats full of wastemen'. Ontop of that some of the girls who I didn't get on with (who are also going to the same uni as me) were literally laughing at the fact that I ended up at that uni.

    I try to put on a brave face and tell everyone I'm really happy and idc about not getting into cambridge but deep down it hurts so bad. And it hits me at night and I just cry for hours. I'm having to put on this front when deep down I feel like such a failure. Last night I was crying until 5am. And this morning my sister said to me I need to rethink my career plan (I wanted to do investment banking but because I'm at a non target its going to be very very difficult to break in). I come from a really crap area and I thought going to cambridge and getting a good job would let me get away from this place but I just feel as if I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life.

    I've literally left the house twice since results day. I've stopped going to the gym or just generally out shopping. I just stay in my room crying. Uni starts in a couple of weeks and I can't even muster up any excitement. I'm struggling so badly to pick myself up again.

    I can imagine you are disappointed, but at some time you have to not take it to heart and carry on.

    Why on earth didnt you just decide to resit your A levels and do yourself justice? its only a year. You should have talked to your teachers. If you feel as though you could do well in resits then thats what you should have done.

    If you decide to go to your local uni, then make the best of it and dont let the others drag you down. If you had 3 U's then id be worried that you are going to a Uni who acepted that.


    Your situation screams resit to me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. It says a lot when strangers on the internet treat you better than your own family and friends. A lot of people have suggested retaking but thats really a no go for me rn. Mainly because I can't bare to go back to A levels again (and starting uni when everyone I know is graduating) plus I don't get funding so I'm going to have to pay for coursework/exams myself (because my family are a bunch of *****)...I really just want to get my degree, secure a job and just move far far away from here asap
    are you being treated for your hypochondria?
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    "Success is not how high you climb, its how high you bounce back up when you hit rock bottom."

    You are not a faliure. If you keep telling yourself that you will never progress. Just try your hardest from now on. Hope you get over your hypocondria.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My A2 module grades were mainly U's. I had A's in my AS.
    Then just retake the A2's. last chance in 2017
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    Have you looked into finance apprenticeships or trainee schemes for school leavers?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I literally feel as if I'm having a mental breakdown. Long story short, I had an offer from Cambridge and I missed it. Like when I opened up my results paper, I literally had U grades across the board. Deep down, I knew my grades were going to be bad (I had a gut feeling I missed my offer because I've had hypochondria this whole year) but I didn't expect them to be THAT bad. So now I'm going to a local uni which isn't even a russell group.

    As if that wasn't a slap in the face, I have to deal with my friends and family. My brother said I was 'a **** up who flopped really bad' and I overheard my sister saying to my mum that I'm 'nothing more than a disappointment who can't get anything right'. Then my mum said I can just tell from 'the way I am' that I'll never be successful in life.

    My friends were treating me like a failure too. Before I got my grades they told me I was going to be so successful then on results day they were like 'oh you didn't get in? we were looking forward to visiting you at cambridge'. Another found out I was going to a local uni and said 'eeww thats full of wastemen'. Ontop of that some of the girls who I didn't get on with (who are also going to the same uni as me) were literally laughing at the fact that I ended up at that uni.

    I try to put on a brave face and tell everyone I'm really happy and idc about not getting into cambridge but deep down it hurts so bad. And it hits me at night and I just cry for hours. I'm having to put on this front when deep down I feel like such a failure. Last night I was crying until 5am. And this morning my sister said to me I need to rethink my career plan (I wanted to do investment banking but because I'm at a non target its going to be very very difficult to break in). I come from a really crap area and I thought going to cambridge and getting a good job would let me get away from this place but I just feel as if I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life.

    I've literally left the house twice since results day. I've stopped going to the gym or just generally out shopping. I just stay in my room crying. Uni starts in a couple of weeks and I can't even muster up any excitement. I'm struggling so badly to pick myself up again.
    Hi please feel proud of yourself for comming this far ,you may not have ended up at the uni you wanted but if you give things a chance it may be a blessing in disguise. If you really don't want to attend try a gap year and maybe get things into respective a little more, please ignore nasty comments from friends and family ,after all could any of them have been considered for Cambridge ? My daughter didn't attend the uni of her dreams but she was glad in the end as she couldnt imagine being so happy where she ended up . You will do well in life best wishes
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    I'm so sorry you feel this way, and the lack of support from your loved ones obviously doesn't make it any easier. But remember, just because they say those things, it doesn't mean they are true.

    You got into university and you're doing a degree! A 'failure' wouldn't be able to do that.

    However, if you're feeling like this, you should probably consider if going to university this year is really what you want to be doing. If you're feeling unhappy about it now, that's not going to change when the workload starts. You don't want to be miserable for the entire 3 or 4 years. I was supposed to go to a Russell Group university, but my A Level results weren't what I expected, I had to go through clearing and ended up in a university which is good, but not Russell Group. For the first couple of weeks, I was so upset and couldn't get over myself, which resulted in me just not wanting to be there, not attending lectures, and, consequently, not understanding my course. I got through it in the end but am going back a year and changing my course.

    Is it really worth the extra stress and the debt? You've got to think of yourself and your mental/physical health.

    I agree with Sprout73. It really may be a blessing in disguise! I didn't want to be in my current university at the beginning, but now I've made such amazing friends and have been blessed with such amazing opportunities that I may not have had in my first choice university. Everything happens for a reason.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I literally feel as if I'm having a mental breakdown. Long story short, I had an offer from Cambridge and I missed it. Like when I opened up my results paper, I literally had U grades across the board. Deep down, I knew my grades were going to be bad (I had a gut feeling I missed my offer because I've had hypochondria this whole year) but I didn't expect them to be THAT bad. So now I'm going to a local uni which isn't even a russell group.

    As if that wasn't a slap in the face, I have to deal with my friends and family. My brother said I was 'a **** up who flopped really bad' and I overheard my sister saying to my mum that I'm 'nothing more than a disappointment who can't get anything right'. Then my mum said I can just tell from 'the way I am' that I'll never be successful in life.

    My friends were treating me like a failure too. Before I got my grades they told me I was going to be so successful then on results day they were like 'oh you didn't get in? we were looking forward to visiting you at cambridge'. Another found out I was going to a local uni and said 'eeww thats full of wastemen'. Ontop of that some of the girls who I didn't get on with (who are also going to the same uni as me) were literally laughing at the fact that I ended up at that uni.

    I try to put on a brave face and tell everyone I'm really happy and idc about not getting into cambridge but deep down it hurts so bad. And it hits me at night and I just cry for hours. I'm having to put on this front when deep down I feel like such a failure. Last night I was crying until 5am. And this morning my sister said to me I need to rethink my career plan (I wanted to do investment banking but because I'm at a non target its going to be very very difficult to break in). I come from a really crap area and I thought going to cambridge and getting a good job would let me get away from this place but I just feel as if I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life.

    I've literally left the house twice since results day. I've stopped going to the gym or just generally out shopping. I just stay in my room crying. Uni starts in a couple of weeks and I can't even muster up any excitement. I'm struggling so badly to pick myself up again.
    I'm really sorry you're going through this. I've been through some pretty dreadful $hit in my life, but as the cliche goes, I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling right now.

    Regarding wanting to get away from home and go to a better uni: be aware that you can transfer to a different institution at the end of your first year. If your grades are good in your first term, then you can re-apply through UCAS. I hope that helps and again I'm so sorry this is happening to your right now.

    It will eventually get better, trust me :hugs:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I literally feel as if I'm having a mental breakdown. Long story short, I had an offer from Cambridge and I missed it. Like when I opened up my results paper, I literally had U grades across the board. Deep down, I knew my grades were going to be bad (I had a gut feeling I missed my offer because I've had hypochondria this whole year) but I didn't expect them to be THAT bad. So now I'm going to a local uni which isn't even a russell group.

    As if that wasn't a slap in the face, I have to deal with my friends and family. My brother said I was 'a **** up who flopped really bad' and I overheard my sister saying to my mum that I'm 'nothing more than a disappointment who can't get anything right'. Then my mum said I can just tell from 'the way I am' that I'll never be successful in life.

    My friends were treating me like a failure too. Before I got my grades they told me I was going to be so successful then on results day they were like 'oh you didn't get in? we were looking forward to visiting you at cambridge'. Another found out I was going to a local uni and said 'eeww thats full of wastemen'. Ontop of that some of the girls who I didn't get on with (who are also going to the same uni as me) were literally laughing at the fact that I ended up at that uni.

    I try to put on a brave face and tell everyone I'm really happy and idc about not getting into cambridge but deep down it hurts so bad. And it hits me at night and I just cry for hours. I'm having to put on this front when deep down I feel like such a failure. Last night I was crying until 5am. And this morning my sister said to me I need to rethink my career plan (I wanted to do investment banking but because I'm at a non target its going to be very very difficult to break in). I come from a really crap area and I thought going to cambridge and getting a good job would let me get away from this place but I just feel as if I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life.

    I've literally left the house twice since results day. I've stopped going to the gym or just generally out shopping. I just stay in my room crying. Uni starts in a couple of weeks and I can't even muster up any excitement. I'm struggling so badly to pick myself up again.
    it is an achievement in itself to get into cambridge in the first place - so congrats! My sister didn't meet her offer last year and she was so depressed but you have to keep going. A level results will only dictate your life if you let them. I'm not saying it's easy but you can still go where you want to go. Have you considered re-taking your a levels?
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    The fact that you had a Cambridge offer suggest you are a worthy Cambridge candidate.

    Here is my advice. DO NOT GIVE UP.

    Some young people give in on their dreams, and go to a uni they didn't want to, or study a course they didn't want to, because they did not have the strength to take a year out, and try again and resit. That ONE tiny year extra, seems to make so much of a difference to some people, and I honestly have no idea why. Sacrificing going to Cambridge for the sake of wanting to go to university the same time as everyone else is incredibly foolish. A year longer in the long run has absolutely no effect on your life, but going to a university which you did not want to go to, can have a substantial effect.

    So here is my advice. Do you want to study at Cambridge, or were you pushed into it? Do you want to go to that local uni or do you feel pressured into going to university straight away, the same time as everyone else? Do you feel that you could have performed better, but your mental struggles pushed you back?
    Because if you genuinely want to go to Cambridge, and think you are deserving (which I am sure you are, you had an offer) then DO NOT GIVE UP. Take a year out, resit, go to another college and start afresh if you want, and then reapply. Try and seek help for your hypochondria and anxiety, because if you are having U's now due to your mental health problems, are you ready to go to uni? Help is there for you, so many good people on here can advise you on that.


    But equally, if you are happy with going to the local uni, and were forced into applying for Cambridge, then very kindly stick two fingers up to your family, pack your bags, and enjoy yourself. But I'd also still recommend seeking some help for your mental health problems.

    It's your ****ing life. Do what YOU WANT. Don't let your family, and don't let a measly year, effect your entire life.
    • #1
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    #1

    Firstly, I just wanna say that this is the first night since results day that I haven't cried myself to sleep and its mainly down to the supportive comments on this thread so thanks guys.
    And also, I know that I should retake. Its the obvious thing to do but I just can't, like I literally don't have it in me and it scares me thinking about retaking and then doing just as badly. And I know this may sound arrogant but I've always been a 'high achiever' and I thought I would be starting uni by 19 tops so the thought of studying for my a levels at the age of 20 makes me so depressed and deep down I know that my hearts not in doing them again. But I will look into transferring after first year.
    My grades were BCC btw.
    Asides from that, I just wanna say thanks again to everyone who has posted. Its made a change from people calling me a failure/loser/disappointment/**** up at least 3 times a day.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Firstly, I just wanna say that this is the first night since results day that I haven't cried myself to sleep and its mainly down to the supportive comments on this thread so thanks guys.
    And also, I know that I should retake. Its the obvious thing to do but I just can't, like I literally don't have it in me and it scares me thinking about retaking and then doing just as badly. And I know this may sound arrogant but I've always been a 'high achiever' and I thought I would be starting uni by 19 tops so the thought of studying for my a levels at the age of 20 makes me so depressed and deep down I know that my hearts not in doing them again. But I will look into transferring after first year.
    My grades were BCC btw.
    Asides from that, I just wanna say thanks again to everyone who has posted. Its made a change from people calling me a failure/loser/disappointment/**** up at least 3 times a day.

    No you are scared of failure. I don't know how to convince you but don't stay at this university. If you must do an adavnced apprenticeship you will be way better off. This way I don't see you happy or making good money. Idk just what I think. People go to university at all different ages strive to be the best!
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My A2 module grades were mainly U's. I had A's in my AS.
    And you're not seeing your potential?
    I find it pathetic how everyone else could just easily disregard how well you did in AS but failed in A2 because of a condition that disrupted your performance and if you didn't have would have performed better. Even if you didn't have hypochondria, I can't believe people let alone family would say such mean things and treat you this way. I wish I could give you a major hug.
    Please remember that life isn't over, being alive today is a blessing. Go in on your first day with the mindset that you're not only to smash your degree but you're also going to meet new lovely people while enjoying your experience at uni. If anything, you could also reapply to do your masters at Cambridge. It isn't the end and Cambridge isn't the only university to have successful graduates. The world's richest people didn't even go to university yet own and fund many of the organisations/companies/businesses graduates end up working with/in. I know it's easier said than done but this new chapter in your life will only make you a stronger being who could advise others going through a similar experience xx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And you're not seeing your potential?
    I find it pathetic how everyone else could just easily disregard how well you did in AS but failed in A2 because of a condition that disrupted your performance and if you didn't have would have performed better. Even if you didn't have hypochondria, I can't believe people let alone family would say such mean things and treat you this way. I wish I could give you a major hug.
    Please remember that life isn't over, being alive today is a blessing. Go in on your first day with the mindset that you're not only to smash your degree but you're also going to meet new lovely people while enjoying your experience at uni. If anything, you could also reapply to do your masters at Cambridge. It isn't the end and Cambridge isn't the only university to have successful graduates. The world's richest people didn't even go to university yet own and fund many of the organisations/companies/businesses graduates end up working with/in. I know it's easier said than done but this new chapter in your life will only make you a stronger being who could advise others going through a similar experience xx
    Don't you think he should resit. I just dont see being happy in that university.
 
 
 
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