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My parents wont let me move out for university... Watch

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    Leave. I Would..
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    No that's ridiculous, go.
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    Their perspective is completely off, I'd leave.
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    Out of interest, what is the 'local' university that they want you to go to?

    Most of my Asian friends are similar - either they or parents don't want them to leave home so they go to Manchester - which is still very good even if it's not in the top 10.

    I personally agree with you wanting to move out though - I also got an offer from Manchester but didn't choose them simply because I wanted to move away. Most adults I know who stayed at home actually regret not moving out due to missing out on the 'full experience' - don't be ashamed to ask other adults/teachers what they did and if they stayed at home, did they regret it? And then use them as 'case studies'
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    (Original post by Someboady)
    A bit about myself. im a guy. turning 18 very very soon. generally did well academically. i also come from a low income family... so uni wasnt really an option at first and moving out definitely wasnt...im applying to uni for 2017 entry..Compsci....
    my choices were: Oxford, Imperial, Durham, Warwick, Bristol.

    now i went to a bunch of summer schoolls to these unis and my parents raised their eyebrows but didnt say much when i did go... and i thought it was all good and dandy and that id have a normal situation like other people where you apply to the Unis that have a good course and unis that you like. this was not the case. it is now september and want to apply to uni soon... when asking my parents if I could attend open days..they said No to all the universities i proposed claiming they were too far from home and that I couldnt afford to move out.
    so the two issues
    1. financing - first off student finance. Im predicted a 60 to 70k debt by the end of my 4 years at Uni... this is a ridiculous amount... all of it will be covered by loans.. but the debt on my head will be huge and it increases by interest. also my parents are fairly religious so we want to make sure we pay off our debt before it gets written off... which is in how many years sorry? parents want me to avoid "unnecessary" debt of Maintenance loan when i can stay at home (avoiding that debt) and go to what they consider a "perfectly good" university that is local and commutable. this university is very far down in the league tables... and being predicted 4A*s.. i feel like im wasting my life.. not being arrogant but.. i dont want to work hard to end up at a uni when i can coast through my a levels and end up at the same uni... but theres that
    2. distance - this is the big one.. i cant go to any of these unis becausr theyre too far. but if you look at Uni league tables these are top unis. im predicted 4 A*s next year.... but my parents want me to go local because i "avoid unncessary debt" and also because they wont be able to reach me if anything happens.. apparently.. and i wont be able to come home often... and itll cost a lot to come home because train tickets are expensive as hell.
    these are the main reasons at least. there are more.. im working on it.. but atm it doesnt look good.. theyve threatened to disown me if i take matters into my own hands and leave home. but i want to move out. ive lived in the same house my whole life and ill just be watching as my friends experience life.. .. any advice would be appreciated
    Would you consider taking a gap year?
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    They are being illogical. They are saying they don't want you to go far away because they won't be able to come and help if something goes wrong, but they are also saying they are going to disown you, so if they are willing to disown you why would they want to come and help if something went wrong anyway?
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    (Original post by Artjen)
    They are being illogical. They are saying they don't want you to go far away because they won't be able to come and help if something goes wrong, but they are also saying they are going to disown you, so if they are willing to disown you why would they want to come and help if something went wrong anyway?
    It's about control.

    OP: choose unis as far away from them as possible.


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    It's their loss if this disown you, you are a fellow adult and its wrong of them to try and control your life this way, go to whichever university you want to OP.
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    It sounds like your parents are not very well informed. Maybe if they here all the costs and benefits from a trustable and persuasive source they'll change their mind.
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    I know I'm late to this (hope you don't mind) but please don't treat your parents so harshly. I know it's difficult because my brother's going through this as well right now. Just try not to be too pushy you know? Like I completely understand where you're coming from even though I don't know your situation fully but bear with them and ان شاء الله everything will be fine I'm sure they're just looking out for you and are worried about losing you (to the whole western lifestyle perhaps? Since you did say they're quite religious) I hope it all goes well for you! Btw where exactly are you from? x
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    (Original post by ineedmotivation)
    I know I'm late to this (hope you don't mind) but please don't treat your parents so harshly. I know it's difficult because my brother's going through this as well right now. Just try not to be too pushy you know? Like I completely understand where you're coming from even though I don't know your situation fully but bear with them and ان شاء الله everything will be fine I'm sure they're just looking out for you and are worried about losing you (to the whole western lifestyle perhaps? Since you did say they're quite religious) I hope it all goes well for you! Btw where exactly are you from? x
    Hahaha, yeahh you're slightly late :P That's fair advice tbh, I don't intend to upset my parents. I think over time they've gotten used to the fact that I will be moving out next year to go to University.

    I do agree that some of their fear stems from western lifestyle but I can't really do much to alleviate their fears. I think I'll be fine, I'm not easily influenced.

    I'm hoping to go to Imperial College next year. I'm from the Midlands, how about you? x
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    Ahh, don't really have that problem haha. I live in London and Imperial isn't too far from where I live... There's a lot of great universities here, yet a lot of people seem to want to move away for the whole 'university experience'. Anyways I hope it all goes well for you inshaAllah! I'm sure you'll make everyone proud
 
 
 
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