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My boyfriend has slept around a lot and it secretly puts me off. Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If genders were reversed Id like to bet that most guys would say they would not date a girl who had slept around a lot, or a 'slut'. In fact in this tsr thread most guys voted they wouldnt
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...rimary_content
    Well done! You've provided the answer to a question that wasn't actually posed on this thread. I'm sure there are other non-existent "straw men" to attack, while you're at it.


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    So what's the point of dating him?


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    (Original post by sund1ata)
    Well done! You've provided the answer to a question that wasn't actually posed on this thread. I'm sure there are other non-existent "straw men" to attack, while you're at it.


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    Who am I attacking, you mentioned genders being reversed thats all i was referring to
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    I mean it really is amazing the double standard going on, particuarly up until my post pointing it out. It would be awash with criticism and sexist screams if the OP was male talking about a female

    The truth is not many people want a partner male or female that has put out cheaply and indiscriminately and that is perfectly fine and reasonable
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    (Original post by Betelgeuse-)
    I mean it really is amazing the double standard going on, particuarly up until my post pointing it out. It would be awash with criticism and sexist screams if the OP was male talking about a female

    The truth is not many people want a partner male or female that has put out cheaply and indiscriminately and that is perfectly fine and reasonable
    Its interesting because if there is a double standard I see it more the other way ie 'slut' and 'whore' are used for women who have slept around. This has also reminded me of a few threads Ive read in the past where several guys say they wouldnt date a girl who had slept around with a bargepole, it was hardly awash with sexist screams as far as i remember. Though if you are male you will likely see certain double standards that perhaps i dont see with being female.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Its interesting because if there is a double standard I see it more the other way ie 'slut' and 'whore' are used for women who have slept around. This has also reminded me of a few threads Ive read in the past where several guys say they wouldnt date a girl who had slept around with a bargepole, it was hardly awash with sexist screams as far as i remember. Though if you are male you will likely see certain double standards that perhaps i dont see with being female.
    Every thread from a man complaining his gf has a colourful past and it troubles him is blitzed with frothing vitriol and condemnation.

    Up until my comment, posters were saying things like "If anything, your boyfriend is a bloody idiot" and the thread was empty of the frothing hordes screaming its his body and his life and had nothing to do with you etc.

    Female = sympathetic
    Male = Misogynist patriarchal pig
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    my bf has been with loads of girls to and it does put me off but i trry to look past it but i havent been with as many people as him and i prefer virgins tbh
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well he said that he would never sleep with just anyone but I guess most people would say that to their partner anyway lol. He did say that he hasnt tended to use condoms in the past as they limit enjoyment and he 'knew they were clean as they wernt promiscuous'. He also believes in the pull out method to prevent pregnancy and that he has 'excellent control' lol. I'l admit im fairly naive to sex so it made me wonder is this a kind of unwritten norm for many people or do most people religiously follow advice on protection given by the NHS? ie wear a condom everytime with their partner (if not on any other contraceptive method). He also said that most people dont get tested. Maybe they dont but if this is the case i dont get how people can be so relaxed.
    He's the one being naive. If he's so sure that he's clean, he can prove it by getting tested.

    Some people are that blase about their sexual health, doesn't mean everyone should be. Using condoms is the sensible thing to do, as is getting tested with a new partner. That attitude would be far more unattractive to me than his "magic number."
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Its interesting because if there is a double standard I see it more the other way ie 'slut' and 'whore' are used for women who have slept around. This has also reminded me of a few threads Ive read in the past where several guys say they wouldnt date a girl who had slept around with a bargepole, it was hardly awash with sexist screams as far as i remember. Though if you are male you will likely see certain double standards that perhaps i dont see with being female.
    I agree. I always see guys on here saying they wouldn't be in a relationship with a girl who had slept around.
    I'd be more concerned that he hasn't used protection in the past, get him to get tested.
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    Do you also think that it makes you feel less special that he has been with quite a few people.
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    Also how old are you both if he is older then it is likely he has slept with more people.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just wanted advice
    Not sure what advice we can give you. I'd advise him to give you a better rooting - never have I had the sense that any my gals were preoccupied with that sort of thing, mostly on account of the fact that they've never asked/generally been unable to think of anything at all, half the time :sexface:
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Not sure what advice we can give you. I'd advise him to give you a better rooting - never have I had the sense that any my gals were preoccupied with that sort of thing, mostly on account of the fact that they've never asked/generally been unable to think of anything at all, half the time :sexface:
    Lol, how would you know?
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    (Original post by littlenorthernlass)
    Lol, how would you know?
    Who said owt about "knowing"? Some girls don't know themselves if something's eating away at their subconscious :rolleyes:

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    In case you weren't just being petulantly facetious: you generally get a sense for wagwan in interpersonal situations (especially those of us who have highly trained senses/are relatively astute in general, never mind within the social domain), and if someone is preoccupied in the sack, well, in most (if by no means not all) cases it can be quite apparent. Capeesh?
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    If ultimately this is going to be an issue that won't go away for you, ending the relationship is an option before you get too emotionally invested in him
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    If anything, your boyfriend is a bloody idiot.

    I know you use protection but you and him should get checked out, just in case.
    No? Nobody else is going to point this out? Just me. Okay.
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    No? Nobody else is going to point this out? Just me. Okay.
    I did too ☺
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    If you love him, you should at least try accept his past.


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    To the OP:

    You don't need to date anybody ever. You can dump someone because he is too tall, short, fat, skinny, hairy, bald, possessive, stand-offish or whatever adjective you want.

    If you can't handle this, don't. Drop him. If you don't want to drop him, get over it. It's really that simple.

    I'm not gonna judge regardless. Just make sure you do what's right for you.
 
 
 
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