Is it wrong to date a girl with Down syndrome?

Announcements Posted on
Four things that unis think matter more than league tables 08-12-2016
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    It does not matter what is wrong with her. If they like each other and they r happy then what is the problem.
    It is not right discriminate.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I've been googling around and it seems like in some places in America it's actually statutory rape to have sex with a person with down syndrome.

    you could legit be locked up for it there.


    can't find anything about if for the UK though.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by stirkee)
    The disability itself is irrelevant.It is not itself immoral to date someone with down's syndrome. Why is it immoral to date them if you truly love them, will treat them with respect etc etc?
    That's like saying why it's not immoral for me to take a drugged up Katy Perry on a date because I truly love her and will treat her with respect. Dodgy analogy. But my point is my intentions don't matter when the other person involved isn't equipped to agree to whats going on anyway. And I already explained whats immoral about it.

    Also, down syndrome has to be one of the worst learning disabilities imo. It's way worse than autism but people often group them as being basically the same thing.


    (Original post by beth-robinson99)
    i feel that if the person in question can consent to ideas then why put them down? if they can put together the concept of a date and consent to it then there's no reason boys can't ask her on a date?
    Look at OP's scenario. The girl fully understood what a relationship was. And went out of her way to ask loads of boys on dates. Implying she knew the concept. Yet OP clearly stated that her mental age was way below 10. I don''t think what you're using is the best standard.

    Edit: and the fact that it's statutory rape in some areas show that there are even healthcare professionals who agree it isn't right.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by I8myselfie)
    You are probably too ugly for a pretty girl anyway.
    Grow up kid
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Downs Syndrome, like many disabilties, has a spectrum of severity. There are absoultely many people with DS who are able to date and consent just as anyone would. There are also many who are are more severly affected who could not. The issue is not the disability, but how it affects that person's mental capacity. If they are considered capeable of making their own decisions and the like, there is nothing wrong with it whatsoever.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pairofjeans)
    That's like saying why it's not immoral for me to take a drugged up Katy Perry on a date because I truly love her and will treat her with respect. Dodgy analogy. But my point is my intentions don't matter when the other person involved isn't equipped to agree to whats going on anyway. And I already explained whats immoral about it.

    Also, down syndrome has to be one of the worst learning disabilities imo. It's way worse than autism but people often group them as being basically the same thing.
    You said it was immoral because "They aren't in the right state of mind to consent to everything. They're mentally handicapped and therefore could be taken advantage of."

    I've already covered the could be taken advantage of; that is irrelevant as its the person taking advantage who is being immoral, not the mere fact that they have down's.

    I must admit that I don't actually know but is it correct to say that all people with down's aren't in a mental state to consent to everything? What if a man truly loves a girl with down's syndrome and wants to, for instance, abstain from sex (I'm assuming one of the major things you were inferring is that they're not fully able to consent to sex)?

    I completely understand where you're coming from and like I said at first it depends on each specific person. Having down's syndrome does not mean that you are completely unable to make clear, logical decisions of your own accord. If you can, and you choose to date, then it surely is not immoral.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RowanB)
    Downs Syndrome, like many disabilties, has a spectrum of severity. There are absoultely many people with DS who are able to date and consent just as anyone would. There are also many who are are more severly affected who could not. The issue is not the disability, but how it affects that person's mental capacity. If they are considered capeable of making their own decisions and the like, there is nothing wrong with it whatsoever.
    This is basically my argument but you put it much better, hah.
    Online

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pairofjeans)
    That's like saying why it's not immoral for me to take a drugged up Katy Perry on a date because I truly love her and will treat her with respect. Dodgy analogy. But my point is my intentions don't matter when the other person involved isn't equipped to agree to whats going on anyway. And I already explained whats immoral about it.

    Also, down syndrome has to be one of the worst learning disabilities imo. It's way worse than autism but people often group them as being basically the same thing.




    Look at OP's scenario. The girl fully understood what a relationship was. And went out of her way to ask loads of boys on dates. Implying she knew the concept. Yet OP clearly stated that her mental age was way below 10. I don''t think what you're using is the best standard.

    Edit: and the fact that it's statutory rape in some areas show that there are even healthcare professionals who agree it isn't right.
    Way worse than autism implies that autism is something bad and can only be bad just with the tone in terms of ability and disability. Down syndrome is a clear disability Autism is much more vague then that.Autism is seen as a disability but many of the worlds greatest Genius have been autistic and their is even scientific evidence to suggest a direct link between Autism and Genius. Yes their are Autistic individuals who are very challenged but their are also autistic individuals who are excessively intelligent. I am not talking about Savants who are talented in just one area but very deficient in everything else, I am talking about individuals who have very high well rounded levels of intelligence.I have an IQ just shy of 3 standard deviations above the Average, I am autistic. Yes as a disability Down Syndrome is way worse then autism, because Autism isn't necessarily a disability it can be but does not have to be. I guess if I said Down Syndrome is way worse then been white or black etc you would get my point. by saying way worse then your implying that been worse then this is a point of significance that one in the that group has significant limitations so its a big deal to be even worse than them.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by beth-robinson99)
    i personally think whats wrong is questioning the fact whether a girl - who cannot help having down syndrome - should not be allowed to date 'normal' guys who are considered good looking.
    she's a human being and therefore has liberty to do what she wants, likewise with the guy.
    i really kinda hope that this question is a joke because i myself feel sorry for those with down syndrome because they didn't choose to have it? nor did their parents choose to create a baby with down syndrome if you will.

    i'm sorry its just my opinion but everyone is equal and deserves the chance to date who they want right? i see it a bit like saying "fred can't date her because she's asian that's not allowed their kids might be half asian". i know it isnt racism like that but it's still discrimination. it is the couples choice if they want to bring a baby into the world knowing the risks...and friends ad family should be there to support whatever decision they make..
    That Asian analogy is completely irrelevant. The issue here is consent and is an interesting one. If a girl is completely mentally insane then a man refraining from taking advantage of her limited mental capacity is not necessarily consent as she will not be able to process thoughts therefore will not be able to arrive to a well valued conclusion of consent. The question then becomes where do we draw the line when it comes to mental capacity. We need to acknowledge that every case of Down Syndrome is different and its a pretty extensive condition. If they are not mentally equipped then they can't legally consent to sex and the sexual act can be regarded as rape or statutory rape. The age is also very relevant as the chronological age of a person with Down Syndrome is years different from their cognitive, developmental and emotional ages. I imagine each case needs to be assessed individually. It has nothing to do with 'discrimination'.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I have a mate with Downs syndrome and he is the dirtiest guy I have ever met XD

    Apart from what he calls his 'lopsided' face, 'weird' walk and impaired speech he is completely normal.
    People get thrown off by his looks but inside he is actually pretty smart. He just has difficulty comunicating it.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ItsJustBanter)
    That Asian analogy is completely irrelevant. The issue here is consent and is an interesting one. If a girl is completely mentally insane then a man refraining from taking advantage of her limited mental capacity is not necessarily consent as she will not be able to process thoughts therefore will not be able to arrive to a well valued conclusion of consent. The question then becomes where do we draw the line when it comes to mental capacity. We need to acknowledge that every case of Down Syndrome is different and its a pretty extensive condition. If they are not mentally equipped then they can't legally consent to sex and the sexual act can be regarded as rape or statutory rape. The age is also very relevant as the chronological age of a person with Down Syndrome is years different from their cognitive, developmental and emotional ages. I imagine each case needs to be assessed individually. It has nothing to do with 'discrimination'.
    i was depicting a situation where she is able to consent and understand what she is doing and other hings going on however the guy still doesnt be with her because she simply has downs.

    we could perhaps look at it more like saying you don't want to date a girl because she is tall and that it should be illegal to date a girl taller than you. obviously this again isnt perfect but its a bit better. the degree of 'tallness' depends on the guys height and hers. it also depends on how comfortable he is with her being tall. clearly it isnt illegal to date someone taller or too much taller but it shows there are other circumstances to consider before dating them (height, looks, personality, etc). before you would date someone with downs you again have to review the situation. are they mentally able to understand and allow you? are you comfortable knowing there may be some things in the relationship you perhaps cant do? it shouldn't be illegal just because the guy has to consider the stages both he and she are at.

    i hope this clarifies it all now otherwise idk.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by stirkee)
    See my post above. The immorality in your example is not inherent in the dating someone with a mental disability, its in the choice of the person without the disability to take advantage of them.

    Like I said, dating someone with a mental disability is surely not itself immoral.
    If an adult dating a 10 year old is unacceptable, why would it be acceptable for an adult to date someone with the mind of a 10 year old? That's clearly what OP is getting at

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Terrible troll
    Online

    3
    ReputationRep:
    They're still human and they still want to be loved. Maybe having a boyfriend isn't the unconditional love they need and deserve but it might be what they want and like all humans they hurt badly when they don't get what they want. I don't think you should reject someone just becuase of their Down syndrome and you shouldn't feel 'grossed' or anything if you do find yourself attracted to someone with the condition.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by EdwardBarfield9)
    Terrible troll
    You've not seen many trolls, have you?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by beth-robinson99)
    i was depicting a situation where she is able to consent and understand what she is doing and other hings going on however the guy still doesnt be with her because she simply has downs.

    we could perhaps look at it more like saying you don't want to date a girl because she is tall and that it should be illegal to date a girl taller than you. obviously this again isnt perfect but its a bit better. the degree of 'tallness' depends on the guys height and hers. it also depends on how comfortable he is with her being tall. clearly it isnt illegal to date someone taller or too much taller but it shows there are other circumstances to consider before dating them (height, looks, personality, etc). before you would date someone with downs you again have to review the situation. are they mentally able to understand and allow you? are you comfortable knowing there may be some things in the relationship you perhaps cant do? it shouldn't be illegal just because the guy has to consider the stages both he and she are at.

    i hope this clarifies it all now otherwise idk.
    Ofc, if she is able to consent mentally then people should be allowed to do as they please and caution should be taken to arrive to a conclusion however if people would not wish to date someone because of Down's then that is their personal choice, people with Down's have distorted physical features.
    Offline

    3
    (Original post by ANM775)
    I saw some pictures some time back which went viral of a guy taking a girl to a high school prom, the guy was good looking and normal, the girl had down syndrome

    In one of the pictures the guy was in a passionate embrace with the girl. Apparently the guy was in love with the girl and this was backed up with quotes.

    Is such a relationship even right?
    I would have thought this sort of thing would be illegal due to her diminished mental capacity.

    I had a Down syndrome girl hit on me once many years ago. I turned her down.

    was I being prejudice in turning her down?
    There's no problem, either legally or morally, with such a relationship. Unless you're a eungenicist.

    If you turned down a Down's girl, that's your choice - but that's all it is.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ANM775)
    lol, i didn't want to. I didn't find her attractive in the slightest ...but seeing that prom story got me thinking if it was morally right or not
    You are a shallow, superficial man. The girl who asked you out is quite extraordinary, given the risk involved in her doing so. She is special; you are a common goat amongst the herd. bAaAa.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
 
 
 
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: September 7, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Poll
Do you think you'll achieve your predicted A Level grades?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.