Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

I feel like I'm going to be forever alone? Watch

    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    honey i do have standards, i'm sorry last time i checked i was in UK 2016 and sleeping with one guy (or even more for that matter) did not negate that or a woman's self respect. if this is the opinion of the majority of men i'm bloody glad i'm single until i find someone who isn't a sexist *******.
    He is right though. If you wish to cultivate meaningful relationships and/or generate interest from the opposite sex then you need to be more careful with the actions you take. Whether you accept it or not, there are a lot of men who would be put off by you for engaging in a friends-with-benefits situation.

    Also, as a side-note and somewhat on-topic, whilst anyone is entitled to do as they are pleased with their sexuality (so long as it involves content by the opposite party/parties), there are a multitude of different reasons why people choose to sleep around and SOME of them are not healthy. Fact of the matter is not a great deal of people are self-aware, especially at this age, of self-destructive behaviors. Alas, on the side-lines, people will observe such behavior, deem it as "slutty" and are thus put off from the idea of dating such an individual.

    Back on topic; a few of your replies to this thread come across as very negative and arrogant. If this is part of your personality as a whole then it would be unsurprising why some men would be put off from dating you. I'm not making assumptions on your character, just an observation based on the contents of your replies.

    Ultimately the same advice that many would give to others also applies to yourself, and that is; dress well, maintain good hygiene, put yourself out there, be happy, be proactive, and most importantly be yourself.

    Inbox is open if you want to talk in more detail.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel like guys that I am attracted to only ever friendzone me... I'm reatively attractive and confident but I'm not into that whole making an effort being all glam and I wouldn't say people would necessarily call me "hot". Thing is for example one of my best mates is v attractive guy and I know at first he found me attractive and we have actually slept with eachother but I'm never the girl guys wanna BE with. I don't know what it is but the guys who do like me I just don't like back.

    For this reason I feel like I'm gonna be alone forever I jut don't really see anyone ever wanting to be with me let alone marry me, I'm always friendzoned.

    help


    If I was interested in you and learned you had slept with one of your best male friends I would go off you immediately.

    I'm not looking to get cucked 6mths done the line on a "repeat performance" when you and him go clubbing and have a little bit too much to drink one night

    guys don't see girls as gf material if they've been sleeping with male "friends"
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    please leave this thread as you are not being helpful and you are not the kind of person that i like to surround myself with therefore irrelevant
    Truth hurts huh or are you just not able to see the connections
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    last time i checked i was in UK 2016
    Standards have slipped over the years, and young women are now subject to hypersexualisation, well observed :congrats:

    sleeping with one guy (or even more for that matter) did not negate that or a woman's self respect
    Eh. Who told you that? :dontknow:

    I can well understand why you're being defensive but honestly, it depends on a fair few variables, in any case. Please consider the difference between having a freedom, using that freedom, and abusing that freedom. Many guys will overtly celebrate womens lib whilst quietly, sometimes scarcely or even not at all consciously, demoting any girl who is, for whatever reason (fairly or unfairly) deemed 'easy' or 'casual'. Pragmatism 1 - Feminism 0

    if this is the opinion of the majority of men i'm bloody glad i'm single until i find someone who isn't a sexist *******.
    1) It isn't sexist to have particular standards, or even to make gender-specific judgements

    2) Those gender differences relate to our distinct innate beings (see below, FYR)

    3) Fighting fire with fire is perhaps not the best way to go tackling sexism

    Spoiler:
    Show
    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    I abhor random/hateful slut-shaming but also feel that shame, perversely, serves a useful societal purpose - and that its relative absence is a huge part of why Britain is 'broken' e.g. transient relations, psychological harm, fatherlessness and intergenerational strife, in the context of YOLO
    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    I'm a pragmatic egalitarian. I recognise the need for fairness but cannot deny certain practical realities of life. More specifically I'm also a learned graduate social scientist and an integrative physiology researcher, who knows a thing or two about distinct male vs. female psychophysiology

    ... correlation between female promiscuity and adverse psychobehavioural and relationship/marital outcomes, and the (intergenerational) social impact that these things have on the children (broken families) of tomorrow

    We do not live in a perfect world in which all beings are omniscient (regarding these correlations) and always listen to reason/believe that they are susceptible to certain facts of life. Hence, regrettably, irrefutably, a degree of shame serves a useful pro-social purpose

    ... many females come a cropper when they buy, wholesale, into this rather wishful post-feminist thinking [that sexual relations can simply {and sustainably} be dispassioante NSA fun]. We cannot escape our physiologies and our psychosexual chemistry is a complex and nuanced thing; beyond oxytocin and bonding in intimacy, there are also psychosocial elements to sexual relations that have a plethora of permutations (not all of which are exclusive to the female sexual experience of course)
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    what i have learnt from this thread:

    1. i am being dramatic and i am not going to be forever alone

    2. thank god my friends/most people i know are not like "men" on TSR

    3. do not ask for advice on TSR

    4. i am not living my life to be more appealing to men and if 1 decision to do what i want and sleep with my friend puts lots of men off me who cares they are probably insecure little boys anyway

    thanks everyone for your sage advice
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    what i have learnt from this thread:

    1. i am being dramatic and i am not going to be forever alone

    2. thank god my friends/most people i know are not like "men" on TSR

    3. do not ask for advice on TSR

    4. i am not living my life to be more appealing to men and if 1 decision to do what i want and sleep with my friend puts lots of men off me who cares they are probably insecure little boys anyway

    thanks everyone for your sage advice
    What I have learnt from this reply;

    1) You are not willing to take into account the advice given to you.

    2) You're a waste of time.


    Please come back when you're happy to listen to others.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    what i have learnt from this thread:

    1. i am being dramatic and i am not going to be forever alone

    2. thank god my friends/most people i know are not like "men" on TSR

    3. do not ask for advice on TSR

    4. i am not living my life to be more appealing to men and if 1 decision to do what i want and sleep with my friend puts lots of men off me who cares they are probably insecure little boys anyway

    thanks everyone for your sage advice
    I feel you need to 'take a chill pill'
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i wouldn't really tell my friends because i feel like it sounds kinda pathetic to say out loud...
    well i don't really want to be with him we never discussed being together we just kind of stopped and he got a girlfriend. who is prettier than me.
    One word: Insecurity.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    honey i do have standards, i'm sorry last time i checked i was in UK 2016 and sleeping with one guy (or even more for that matter) did not negate that or a woman's self respect. if this is the opinion of the majority of men i'm bloody glad i'm single until i find someone who isn't a sexist *******.
    But, you asked for advice on TSR.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    what i have learnt from this thread:

    1. i am being dramatic and i am not going to be forever alone

    2. thank god my friends/most people i know are not like "men" on TSR

    3. do not ask for advice on TSR

    4. i am not living my life to be more appealing to men and if 1 decision to do what i want and sleep with my friend puts lots of men off me who cares they are probably insecure little boys anyway

    thanks everyone for your sage advice
    Too much salt in your cornflakes this morning...


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    If a guy doesn't want to know you because of how many people you've slept with then he isn't worth the time. He's just another guy judging someone for choices they're allowed to make.

    Yeah it's true you're gonna meet lots of guys who will care and run a mile. Point is they're not the ones for you. Find a guy who loves you for you and doesn't judge you for stuff like that.

    You might struggle to find someone decent, but that's life. Sometimes love comes walking into your life without effort, sometimes you feel like it's impossible to find. The most important thing is that you are happy and healthy on your own so that, when love does find you, you're ready to be a stable partner for someone

    Don't try to find it, enrich your life so much so that being single forever isn't a scary option.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 9, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.