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Would you ever date someone who's unemployed? Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's not something I can get over easily though. I was brought up my whole life with my mum telling me yes you should support yourself and earn your own, but to always date a man who had a higher degree to you or earnt more than you, as like a power thing. And even for me now, a guy who has power is really attractive to me, whereas now I've found out this guy is unemployed, even though before that I quite liked him, now I'm completely put off and I can't help it
    Just be honest with him and tell him your famuily goes big on power and that he is only worthy of dating you if he earns more and is better educated than you. It will save him time by being honest and you can both avoid any awkwardness.
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    Well, why are they unemployed?
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    Thats a bit shallow tbh :/

    I personally wouldn't mind as long as he does get one eventually
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    Can I also say that you sound very much like me, OP. I have often felt exactly the same way about meeting someone for a date and have ended up getting into a panic about it and cancelling. It has happened to me many times. I'm a 48 year old female, and 15 years ago I was diagnosed with Social Phobia, which explained an awful lot. I'm not saying you have the same, but if you notice a pattern emerging and this keeps happening, then it could be a sign you have this condition too. Good news is if you are still in your late teens or early Twenties there is something they can do to help you. [Cognitive Behavioural Therapy]. I was diagnosed with it by a Psychiatrist when I was 27. He told me that at that age my personality was set ,and there was nothing anybody would be able to do to help me and I will have it for the rest of my life, which I have had. It affects my friendships,and relationships and everyone I come into contact with.[I was the only dancer at the Moulin Rouge in Paris who used to go straight home every night after the show, instead of socialising with everyone else at the bar over the road].
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    (Original post by Ishax)
    Well, then I wouldn't be so harsh on him as he's just recently graduated. It takes time to find a job, it's not that easy. What did he study? It's not like he's been sitting on his ass doing nothing, I'm sure he's actively looking for jobs since he's went to university (I hope anyway).
    I think it was history or some other humanities, that also kind of put me off because I'm usually more into guys who study STEM subjects :/
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    (Original post by sr90)
    What if they've just come back from travelling, if they've just graduated, if they've been made redundant? What if they were a contractor who had just finished their assignment, if they've been ill or if they've just relocated to a new city? You aren't automatically a lazy scrounger just for being unemployed.



    I will never understand why women constantly go on about a gender pay gap, equality in the workplace etc then come out with things like this. For our parents generation it was perfectly normal for the Dad to work whilst the mum worked part time or didn't work at all - literally everyone I knew at school had their parents in this situation. That is not how the world works anymore.
    I agree. That sort of attitude just perpetuates this nonsense. It's the sort of thing people of my generation comes out with. I think the younger generation are much more tolerant - well most of them anyway.
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    I think if hes reccently graduated then its fine, esp if he's acticvely looking

    I find it hard, as a student, to date someone wheo is not a student/ does have a graduate job. I went on a couple of dates with a chef and it werided me out a bit, cause here's me studying for exams and you earning. Similarly, i was asked out by a taxi driver and im like nope
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think it was history or some other humanities, that also kind of put me off because I'm usually more into guys who study STEM subjects :/
    Okay, this is going to spund harsh but your mentality on being more into guys who study "STEM" subjects is wrong. You should be with someone for who they are and their character. Sure, someone with a STEM degree may be considered smarter in terms of education in front of society, it doesn't mean they'll be a great boyfriend or potential husband. You need to look at a person as a whole, not what subject he studied.
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    (Original post by Ishax)
    Okay, this is going to spund harsh but your mentality on being more into guys who study "STEM" subjects is wrong. You should be with someone for who they are and their character. Sure, someone with a STEM degree may be considered smarter in terms of education in front of society, it doesn't mean they'll be a great boyfriend or potential husband. You need to look at a person as a whole, not what subject he studied.
    It's not just because of that, I'm not sure really, I just feel sick and nauseous when I think about going on a date with this guy... My mum just brought me up with such bad mentalities that I'm now reaping she used to say to me all the time that given that I'm studying stem I shouldn't ever lower myself and date someone who's studying history or geography or film etc.

    And if you asked me what my type is I would just tell you one of the things that really attracts me to a guy is power, Whethet that's how intellectual they are in the sciences or how much they earn or being in the top of their business etc, the power just attracts me I can't help it

    (Original post by markova21)
    Can I also say that you sound very much like me, OP. I have often felt exactly the same way about meeting someone for a date and have ended up getting into a panic about it and cancelling. It has happened to me many times. I'm a 48 year old female, and 15 years ago I was diagnosed with Social Phobia, which explained an awful lot. I'm not saying you have the same, but if you notice a pattern emerging and this keeps happening, then it could be a sign you have this condition too. Good news is if you are still in your late teens or early Twenties there is something they can do to help you. [Cognitive Behavioural Therapy]. I was diagnosed with it by a Psychiatrist when I was 27. He told me that at that age my personality was set ,and there was nothing anybody would be able to do to help me and I will have it for the rest of my life, which I have had. It affects my friendships,and relationships and everyone I come into contact with.[I was the only dancer at the Moulin Rouge in Paris who used to go straight home every night after the show, instead of socialising with everyone else at the bar over the road].
    The thing is in real life I'm not anxious to meet new people and will happily go to parties or talk to people in lectures or just around. However the thought of meeting someone online who I've never ever met before and have only texted freaks me out. That's why I cancelled 2 other dates prior to this guy, I just can't get over it. I feel sick and nauseous when I think about it, I've already vomitted several times thinking about meeting up irl. I think online dating is just not for me, I can't get over the barrier between online and real life
    The social phobia thing worries me though I looked up the symptoms and I do have quite a few of them which worries me :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's not just because of that, I'm not sure really, I just feel sick and nauseous when I think about going on a date with this guy... My mum just brought me up with such bad mentalities that I'm now reaping she used to say to me all the time that given that I'm studying stem I shouldn't ever lower myself and date someone who's studying history or geography or film etc.

    And if you asked me what my type is I would just tell you one of the things that really attracts me to a guy is power, Whethet that's how intellectual they are in the sciences or how much they earn or being in the top of their business etc, the power just attracts me I can't help it


    The thing is in real life I'm not anxious to meet new people and will happily go to parties or talk to people in lectures or just around. However the thought of meeting someone online who I've never ever met before and have only texted freaks me out. That's why I cancelled 2 other dates prior to this guy, I just can't get over it. I feel sick and nauseous when I think about it, I've already vomitted several times thinking about meeting up irl. I think online dating is just not for me, I can't get over the barrier between online and real life
    The social phobia thing worries me though I looked up the symptoms and I do have quite a few of them which worries me :/
    At the end of the day, you should be with someone because you want to be with them. Not for your Mum because that type of relationship will never work out.

    You should go on the date if you want too. If you don't, then don't go.
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    Only if she thicc
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    (Original post by Ishax)
    At the end of the day, you should be with someone because you want to be with them. Not for your Mum because that type of relationship will never work out.

    You should go on the date if you want too. If you don't, then don't go.
    Arghhhh I'm so torn, a small part of me wants to go just to see what it will be like. Then the rest of me doesn't want to go but idk how to tell him, I don't want to upset him or see his reply when I tell him I can't come anymore. Should I just unmatch him on tinder and block his number?
    But I feel like I'll feel empty once I've lost all forms of communication with him...
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    Yeah, wouldn't be an issue for me.

    But if she thinks I'm paying for her rent then L M A O.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Arghhhh I'm so torn, a small part of me wants to go just to see what it will be like. Then the rest of me doesn't want to go but idk how to tell him, I don't want to upset him or see his reply when I tell him I can't come anymore. Should I just unmatch him on tinder and block his number?
    But I feel like I'll feel empty once I've lost all forms of communication with him...
    I think the curiosity may haunt you. How about going for a quick coffee to see how he is? It's up to you, if you want to go or not
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    If he's cute and funny enough sure, why not?
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    It depends on why they are unemployed. For example, if they are unemployed and claiming employment and support allowance due to ill health, disability or long term health condition but really want to work, study and makes something of their life then I would definitely date them etc. But if they have sat on their bum for years, never worked, can't be bothered and would rather sit around and watch Jeremy Kyle all day then I wouldn't give them the time or day.




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    Or if he's unemployed due to being let off work and is actively seeking employment, study or training I would definitely consider. But if his attitude is can't be bothered, would rather sit in bed all day and do absolutely nothing all day then I would dump his sorry ass.


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think it was history or some other humanities, that also kind of put me off because I'm usually more into guys who study STEM subjects :/
    Yeah I don't think I could seriously date a woman without a degree, unless she has her own business or some ridiculously good job.
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    Should I just unmatch him and block his number? I did that with the other two guys before him, then delete my tinder
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    OP also has to bear in mind that the vast majority of people will be unemployed at some point in their lives, even if it's only for a month. There are very few people who go into a job at 19,20,21 etc and continue to be in full employment without a break until they are 60 or older. So everyone of us has the possibility of unemployment or redundancy hanging over us at some stage. It's not their fault though, unless they choose that sort of lifestyle.
 
 
 
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