She cheated on me even though we're not going out!

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Four things that unis think matter more than league tables 08-12-2016
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    #1

    (Original post by Rhaenys10)
    ...it's not like she told him about 3 times she's not interested in him
    even the friendzone is too good for him
    What is this supposed to mean? I don't understand
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    Aww I kinda understand how you feel, the guy I like was apparently flirting with another girl in biology (I'm not sure because I was sitting at the front) and I was so pissed off because he'd openly flirted with me a week ago and was doing this with someone else too

    Even though we're not together it did feel like a betrayal as he's the only guy I message but I'm over it though, if he doesn't want me it's his loss

    It's her loss if she doesn't want you but don't take it too personally, she don't feel the same way so you should move on as quickly as possible and forget about it. It may feel like a betrayal right now but you weren't exclusive so you just have to forget about it, like I have
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've apologised to her saying that it's up to her to forgive me... If she doesn't reply do I just drop it or do I keep saying i'm sorry?
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    sorry to hear this bro. i recommend going on tinder to try and take your mind off her and give you some experience, which could help deal with your situation
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What is this supposed to mean? I don't understand
    it means ur either an idiot or a troll
    u were never in a relationship with her
    and ffs she has told u multiple times that she s interested in other ppl
    what were u even expecting
    the girl doesn't owe you anything
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've apologised to her saying that it's up to her to forgive me... If she doesn't reply do I just drop it or do I keep saying i'm sorry?
    You have a very simplistic view of how people think. She's said no thanks, but you have a disturbing idea she has some sort of obligation, when in fact she did not.

    Saying sorry doesnt mean people forget and I get the feeling you said some things which were really out of order. Pointless just repeating it.

    Act in haste, repent at leisure.


    Move on and learn your lesson.
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    Well she didnt cheat on you as others have said. Maybe she led you on a little but she did always maintain she didnt want you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This will be a learning curve for me as it was my first time talking to a girl like this.
    Do not apologise to her, it will make you look even more submissive than you already did when you allowed yourself to become her gay friend. You should however text her and say hi, invite her for coffee or something and then move on.

    Regarding the matter at hand she did not cheat, you got jealous and you lacked the resolve to take what you desired. Make friends but either accept that you'll never have her or ignore her rejection somewhat (she can't like him that much if she's going around) and make a move in person (i.e. kiss the girl).
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    (Original post by Rakas21)
    Do not apologise to her, it will make you look even more submissive than you already did when you allowed yourself to become her gay friend. You should however text her and say hi, invite her for coffee or something and then move on.

    Regarding the matter at hand she did not cheat, you got jealous and you lacked the resolve to take what you desired. Make friends but either accept that you'll never have her or ignore her rejection somewhat (she can't like him that much if she's going around) and make a move in person (i.e. kiss the girl).
    i have a better idea.. instead of doing that, he should
    Spoiler:
    Show
    grow a pair
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    (Original post by AfcFob)
    Aww I kinda understand how you feel, the guy I like was apparently flirting with another girl in biology (I'm not sure because I was sitting at the front) and I was so pissed off because he'd openly flirted with me a week ago and was doing this with someone else too

    Even though we're not together it did feel like a betrayal as he's the only guy I message but I'm over it though, if he doesn't want me it's his loss

    It's her loss if she doesn't want you but don't take it too personally, she don't feel the same way so you should move on as quickly as possible and forget about it. It may feel like a betrayal right now but you weren't exclusive so you just have to forget about it, like I have
    Christ, what is wrong with you people these days.

    Instead of messaging and getting miffed, why don't you claim what you desire. Tell the guy to ask you out and make him yours.

    Young people today have an alarming lack of initiative.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've apologised to her saying that it's up to her to forgive me... If she doesn't reply do I just drop it or do I keep saying i'm sorry?
    If she doesn't reply, then just drop it and move on. You've apologised, that's all you can do. You can't make her forgive you. She may not feel like you can be friends again because of what you said and your feelings for her that aren't reciprocated. It sounds like she's been clear about her lack of feelings towards you etc when you were friends, so if she doesn't respond then trust it as her letting you know she doesn't want to continue this anymore. It sounds like it would be best to just move on and find someone else
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I apologised to her after having a massive go at her. We haven't spoken for a week and I felt bad so I said sorry (More than just sorry btw). She read it and did not reply, I said it's up to her to forgive me if she wants.

    Do I just sit and wait now?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    She came into where I worked today (where she used to work as well) and when she came to the till she just talked straight through me to someone who was behind me. I asked her if she wanted a bag as you do and she paused for like a second and said 'no' in a different tone to what she was speaking to the other guy in (he's like 50). Oh and she never look at me just looked around me.... I feel like **** now, why did I say that stuff to her!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She came into where I worked today (where she used to work as well) and when she came to the till she just talked straight through me to someone who was behind me. I asked her if she wanted a bag as you do and she paused for like a second and said 'no' in a different tone to what she was speaking to the other guy in (he's like 50). Oh and she never look at me just looked around me.... I feel like s*** now, why did I say that stuff to her!!
    Here's your next steps.

    1. Grow a pair
    2. Move on.

    She's made it clear she doesn't like you, and she's not interested in you.
    You've ruined a friendship and it's too soon to patch it. Let her be, because it sounds like you're just acting weird now.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She came into where I worked today (where she used to work as well) and when she came to the till she just talked straight through me to someone who was behind me. I asked her if she wanted a bag as you do and she paused for like a second and said 'no' in a different tone to what she was speaking to the other guy in (he's like 50). Oh and she never look at me just looked around me.... I feel like s*** now, why did I say that stuff to her!!
    I'll tell you what has happened here by way of analogy.

    Every day, you walk past a car showroom, and you see your dream car. You look at it lovingly and imagine yourself whizzing about in it. In your mind, that's your car.

    One day, you walk past and it's not there. You ask the salesman where it's gone. He says he sold it yesterday.

    You completely lose your shiv with the salesman, and you shout at him - "why did you sell that car? It was going to be mine."

    The salesman replies - "but you never ever came in and asked about it, never made an offer on it. All you did was walk past every day."
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    She didn't cheat on OP as he claims as its obvious they weren't in a committed relationship. However, I can understand how it can be upsetting for the OP having built up a rapport with her through flirting and communications.*

    While she's well within her rights to turn him down through her own preference, she didn't handle situation tactfully. In considering they were at least friends, she didn't do the done thing (as most would) and kept her mouth shut about her sexual exploits with the holiday rep bloke.

    As a women whom knowingly made it clear to OP that they were nothing more than mates, in the knowledge he fancied the pants off of her, while disclosing to him her conquests, that was cold and heartless.

    She should not have done that as a friend, in any case, that's not considering the fact he had romantic intentions and she knew, that is where her contempt lies.

    She had a part to play in this situation too, and I think many here are overlooking this, and directing this towards OPs inadequacies or shortcomings. Fact is, she has them too...she coldly decided to (for whatever reason) disclose aspects of her sex life with OP (probably) with the foresight that he'd be upset about that and it would enrage him.

    That to me, isn't someone I want to be involved with, romantic or otherwise. She sounds like an immature and emotionally manipulative attention seeker. The worst kind, keeps you there dangling and craves attention to then discard you when someone else that better fits her criteria comes along.

    OP it's a lesson to be learned. Find yourself someone whom wants a friendship first and then when that is established build it from there. No need to jump straight to flirtation where a woman can easily string you along as the fairer alluring sex/gender.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by royal1990)
    She didn't cheat on OP as he claims as its obvious they weren't in a committed relationship. However, I can understand how it can be upsetting for the OP having built up a rapport with her through flirting and communications.*

    While she's well within her rights to turn him down through her own preference, she didn't handle situation tactfully. In considering they were at least friends, she didn't do the done thing (as most would) and kept her mouth shut about her sexual exploits with the holiday rep bloke.

    As a women whom knowingly made it clear to OP that they were nothing more than mates, in the knowledge he fancied the pants off of her, while disclosing to him her conquests, that was cold and heartless.

    She should not have done that as a friend, in any case, that's not considering the fact he had romantic intentions and she knew, that is where her contempt lies.

    She had a part to play in this situation too, and I think many here are overlooking this, and directing this towards OPs inadequacies or shortcomings. Fact is, she has them too...she coldly decided to (for whatever reason) disclose aspects of her sex life with OP (probably) with the foresight that he'd be upset about that and it would enrage him.

    That to me, isn't someone I want to be involved with, romantic or otherwise. She sounds like an immature and emotionally manipulative attention seeker. The worst kind, keeps you there dangling and craves attention to then discard you when someone else that better fits her criteria comes along.

    OP it's a lesson to be learned. Find yourself someone whom wants a friendship first and then when that is established build it from there. No need to jump straight to flirtation where a woman can easily string you along as the fairer alluring sex/gender.
    You are the only one that can see it from my point of view. This will be taken as a lesson learnt.
 
 
 
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