Women do not know how to choose good partners, arrage marriages are not bas

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    (Original post by MagnetoWasRight)
    What makes so called badboys bad partners?


    I agree that abuse and infidelity is awful, but ignoring that, fun exciting men who bring the woman happiness are far better than monotony and safety.
    it's not like a so called 'good guy' can't abuse your or cheat on you
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    (Original post by tamil fever)
    wow.u really are a great detective.Looks like OP had no love life
    that wouldn't be the problem... her mentality is what's bugging me
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    (Original post by Rhaenys10)
    that wouldn't be the problem... her mentality is what's bugging me
    hahaha i see.is it bc of the threads she makes?
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    (Original post by Sarahsez)
    Women do not know how to chose a good partner to marry and have children with particularly young women. They always go for the badboys and look for drama and excitement. Therefore, overlooking the good stable guys that would make great partners and fathers. As a woman, I honestly believe women make love decisions emotionally and are easily fooled and blinded.

    Arrange marriages were created in order to protect young woman and help them decide since most young women don't know a good man if they see one. Look st the divorce rates, 70 percent divorces are initiated by women that chose their men. They all soon discovered these were the wrong men for them but learn too late.

    Force marriages are bad, no one should ever be forced. But there's nothing with arrange marriages as long as both parties agree to it. No one knows you better than your parents.
    In British society, historically, arranged marriages were not to protect women. Their function was for a man to find a woman, ideally of his own class, to perpetuate the family name, and hopefully bring her family fortune with her so that what she owned then became his property.
    Furthermore, you have no idea of the reasons why women divorce their husbands. People change within a marriage, their needs and expectations change also, and they simply become incompatible. One of my husbands was a tosser and one wasn't. Luck of the draw. I don't regret it.
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    (Original post by Rhaenys10)
    it's not like a so called 'good guy' can't abuse your or cheat on you
    Nobody who is actually cruel or abusive would make it obvious, but in general I think a lot of young guys think that being fun and making the girl smile is not important and that the only thing is a good job or money, if she's bored the good job won't help.
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    Ok,I don't completely agree with the OP but I do not think arranged marriages are as bad as some have said if both parties agree. With arranged marriages at the end of the day, you choose to marry or not to marry the person.
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    (Original post by Sarahsez)
    Women do not know how to chose a good partner to marry and have children with particularly young women. They always go for the badboys and look for drama and excitement. Therefore, overlooking the good stable guys that would make great partners and fathers. As a woman, I honestly believe women make love decisions emotionally and are easily fooled and blinded.

    Arrange marriages were created in order to protect young woman and help them decide since most young women don't know a good man if they see one. Look st the divorce rates, 70 percent divorces are initiated by women that chose their men. They all soon discovered these were the wrong men for them but learn too late.

    Force marriages are bad, no one should ever be forced. But there's nothing with arrange marriages as long as both parties agree to it. No one knows you better than your parents.
    My definition, arranged marriages are almost exclusively forced, and often the people being wed do not have any choice.
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    So if you can refuse the arrangement, why bother then? Why not let her choose for herself? And when does the pressure kick in to go along with the arranged marriage, and please don't say it doesn't happen because I've seen this to be the case on at least three occasions.
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    (Original post by h333)
    Ok,I don't completely agree with the OP but I do not think arranged marriages are as bad as some have said if both parties agree. With arranged marriages at the end of the day, you choose to marry or not to marry the person.
    how would know whether you like the guy first? You'd have a better marriage if you get to know him before and see if you fit
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    (Original post by MagnetoWasRight)
    Nobody who is actually cruel or abusive would make it obvious, but in general I think a lot of young guys think that being fun and making the girl smile is not important and that the only thing is a good job or money, if she's bored the good job won't help.
    exactly
    and wtf? are 'bad boys' not allowed to have good jobs or what?
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    There's nothing wrong with finding and choosing who to marry by yourself. There's nothing wrong with arranged marriages either.

    /thread
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    (Original post by MagnetoWasRight)
    how would know whether you like the guy first? You'd have a better marriage if you get to know him before and see if you fit
    Well arranged marriages are not forced marriages, where you don't know anything about the guy and would just still go for it, if you get me. I feel people misunderstand arranged marriages. Yes you can still get to know him before, thing is that both parties are looking for marriage so they are most likely to find out about the person more etc. It may take time and is not just a matter of few days.

    I am not sure what you mean about having a better marriage if not arranged. I have several relatives/people I know with arranged marriages and they are completely fine. Obviously because it was not forced and they agreed to get married.
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    (Original post by Rhaenys10)
    exactly
    and wtf? are 'bad boys' not allowed to have good jobs or what?
    It's just nerdy guys who demonise those different to them.
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    (Original post by h333)
    Well arranged marriages are not forced marriages, where you don't know anything about the guy and would just still go for it, if you get me. I feel people misunderstand arranged marriages. Yes you can still get to know him before, thing is that both parties are looking for marriage so they are most likely to find out about the person more etc. It may take time and is not just a matter of few days.

    I am not sure what you mean about having a better marriage if not arranged. I have several relatives/people I know with arranged marriages and they are completely fine. Obviously because it was not forced and they agreed to get married.
    I'm not even saying that arranged marriages are totally bad, I do understand the woman can say no, but you can't really get to know someone if you have to do so only under the supervision of your wali.
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    (Original post by MagnetoWasRight)
    It's just nerdy guys who demonise those different to them.
    meh i got nothing against nerdy guys they're sweet
    it's just society that's judgy as ****
    (just to make things clear, in my book, bad boy and ****boy are not the same thing)
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    (Original post by MagnetoWasRight)
    I'm not even saying that arranged marriages are totally bad, I do understand the woman can say no, but you can't really get to know someone if you have to do so only under the supervision of your wali.
    Fair enough but you can if you are serious about marriage.
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    (Original post by h333)
    Fair enough but you can if you are serious about marriage.
    just curious.. if she says no, are her parents going to look for someone else? and would a girl be allowed to tell her parents that he likes someone and ask them if it were possible to marry him?
    and how do u decide if an arranged marriage will eventually take place?
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    (Original post by h333)
    Fair enough but you can if you are serious about marriage.
    Getting to know someone within the context of a relationship, is totally different to having a few supervised meets where you talk a bit about your goals, past and see if you think they're goodlooking.
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    (Original post by Rhaenys10)
    just curious.. if she says no, are her parents going to look for someone else? and would a girl be allowed to tell her parents that he likes someone and ask them if it were possible to marry him?
    and how do u decide if an arranged marriage will eventually take place?
    If one party does not agree then yes they will have to move on. But not only the parents, if the person (girl or boy) is interested in someone then they can tell their parents and then they can take it from there. Yes if the girl is interested in someone and they are interested in marriage back then it would be wise to get the parents/family involved. The girl may get several proposals but it is upto her to decide.

    Not sure about the last question sorry. You just will know I guess if you want to get married.
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    (Original post by h333)
    If one party does not agree then yes they will have to move on. But not only the parents, if the person (girl or boy) is interested in someone then they can tell their parents and then they can take it from there. Yes if the girl is interested in someone and they are interested in marriage back then it would be wise to get the parents/family involved. The girl may get several proposals and ask for her hand but it is upto her to decide.

    Not sure about the last question sorry. You just will know I guess if you want to get married.
    thanks for the answers - found them genuinely helpful
    and nevermind, i already understood the last question - both parties have to agree (in a best case scenario i suppose, right?)
 
 
 
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