POF- mainly for hookups?

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    (Original post by Pinkberry_y)
    Oh hahaha did you suggest that? You had good intentions I'm sure
    Well my suggestion was, I think, talk to your dad and then if need be, talk to your mum.
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    Nothing wrong with online dating, know loads of people that have used it, few of them married now. It is pretty much the standard these days for people my age (early 30s). Does seem that the late teens early 20s male crowd on here have a pretty negative opinion of it though.

    Most of the people I speak to on POF are professional woman trying to find a partner. I have never been one for chatting up girls in pubs or whatever, just not my scene or type of woman.

    To paste in what I said in another topic on this:

    There are plenty of normal guys and girls of all ages, of all walks of life looking for all kinds of relationships. The whole idea that it's for casual hook-ups is a myth (although I know for women, there can be quite a lot of slimy guys on there).

    The majority of people are adults looking for relationships who haven't found the right person in their own social environment. I have been using these sites on and off about 8 years, mostly as I work for myself so don't often meet new people apart from mates of mates. I have had loads of dates, relationships for a few months and a few relationships that lasted a few years. I've never had to deal with mentals, lower my standards or felt like it has been me doing all the work.

    I will add to that last bit. From my experience at least, very few women will message you first. This tends to lead to sending lots of messages and not getting anything back which I know some guys find hard to take so just go to straight to trashing online dating.
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    (Original post by AlexLawrence1453)
    Opinion time: I don't think that dating apps or websites are a good idea for forming a relationship. I tend to be more on the side that first impressions and physical presence are essential to forming a bond with someone.

    That being said, you're not being naive and there will be some people on POF that are decent blokes. May I ask: why do you feel the need to use a dating site to find someone?
    I'm a bit of an introvert and no longer go out as much, so I don't tend to meet new people, apart from from people that I already know.

    I'm also new to the area I live so I'm trying to make friends, so far I haven't found meetup activities that I like, I'm having more interactions on POF. If I was still back living in London I'd have so much to do, I wouldn't need to be joining POF.

    I'm wondering if I might be considered a pisstaker if I go on a date with a guy and then say, by the way, I'm not looking for a hookup, I just want to be friends.
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    (Original post by Slim and proud)
    I'm wondering if I might be considered a pisstaker if I go on a date with a guy and then say, by the way, I'm not looking for a hookup, I just want to be friends.
    There is a setting for that of your profile. I am looking for "Hang out" or "Friends"
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    (Original post by Slim and proud)
    Haha, you're kidding me..

    I guess I've been living in a hole for a while
    How about you just experience if for yourself?

    About 1% of TSR as a whole knows anything about dating online or off, seriously.
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    (Original post by Slim and proud)
    I'm a bit of an introvert and no longer go out as much, so I don't tend to meet new people, apart from from people that I already know.

    I'm also new to the area I live so I'm trying to make friends, so far I haven't found meetup activities that I like, I'm having more interactions on POF. If I was still back living in London I'd have so much to do, I wouldn't need to be joining POF.

    I'm wondering if I might be considered a pisstaker if I go on a date with a guy and then say, by the way, I'm not looking for a hookup, I just want to be friends.
    Ah, that's fair I guess. Stay vigilant, thought. Know what you want.
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    (Original post by hububalli)
    Nothing wrong with online dating, know loads of people that have used it, few of them married now. It is pretty much the standard these days for people my age (early 30s). Does seem that the late teens early 20s male crowd on here have a pretty negative opinion of it though.

    Most of the people I speak to on POF are professional woman trying to find a partner. I have never been one for chatting up girls in pubs or whatever, just not my scene or type of woman.

    To paste in what I said in another topic on this:

    There are plenty of normal guys and girls of all ages, of all walks of life looking for all kinds of relationships. The whole idea that it's for casual hook-ups is a myth (although I know for women, there can be quite a lot of slimy guys on there).

    The majority of people are adults looking for relationships who haven't found the right person in their own social environment. I have been using these sites on and off about 8 years, mostly as I work for myself so don't often meet new people apart from mates of mates. I have had loads of dates, relationships for a few months and a few relationships that lasted a few years. I've never had to deal with mentals, lower my standards or felt like it has been me doing all the work.

    I will add to that last bit. From my experience at least, very few women will message you first. This tends to lead to sending lots of messages and not getting anything back which I know some guys find hard to take so just go to straight to trashing online dating.
    Oh thanks, helpful to hear your perspective.
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    (Original post by hububalli)
    There is a setting for that of your profile. I am looking for "Hang out" or "Friends"
    Oh thanks for the tip.
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    (Original post by AlexLawrence1453)
    Ah, that's fair I guess. Stay vigilant, thought. Know what you want.
    Thanks
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    So the guy I was talking about wants to meet up for a coffee soon. I'm now wondering if he could be a serial dater.I'm suspicious because he wants to meet up so soon and he's 42 and so it makes me wonder why he's still single- though I am attracted to older guys.

    I was wondering how best to spot a serial dater?

    I've agreed to the coffee date but I guess I need to make clear that I just want to be friends, but then again a serial dater is likely to be so charming and irresistible, I might drop my guard.
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    (Original post by Slim and proud)
    I recently joined POF because I'm a little bit bored and think it might be good to start dating again after finally recovering from a breakup that really broke me.

    I've chatted with a few guys and last week I started chatting with one who has caught my attention. I don't know how much of a decent guy he is and I tend to want to get to know someone on a friendship basis before committing myself physically or emotionally.

    Am I in the wrong place on POF and am I being naive to think I could meet a decent guy off there?
    Don't expect anything worthwhile to come off POF.
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    (Original post by Tootles)
    Don't expect anything worthwhile to come off POF.
    Haha, I should have listened to you!

    He lied on his profile. He claimed to have an average body size but he was actually very chubby.

    He claimed to have a degree on his profile but what he meant was a printing course from some college. I've never been the one to judge someone on whether they have gone to university or not, but I now think it does matter to some level and can be an indication of ambition. What annoys me is how he kept saying I work really hard, I should learn to relax blah blah.

    All he spoke about was food and eating and his mates. He was pretty shallow.

    Lesson learned!
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    (Original post by Slim and proud)
    Haha, I should have listened to you!

    He lied on his profile. He claimed to have an average body size but he was actually very chubby.

    He claimed to have a degree on his profile but what he meant was a printing course from some college. I've never been the one to judge someone on whether they have gone to university or not, but I now think it does matter to some level and can be an indication of ambition. What annoys me is how he kept saying I work really hard, I should learn to relax blah blah.

    All he spoke about was food and eating and his mates. He was pretty shallow.

    Lesson learned!
    Your tactic was pretty much spot on though. A little chatting, see if they're relatively on the level talk wise, then meet somewhere mutual and public. If they're weird, never speak to again.

    Tbf, it'd be exactly the same if you met someone on a night out or was introduced by friends.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Your tactic was pretty much spot on though. A little chatting, see if they're relatively on the level talk wise, then meet somewhere mutual and public. If they're weird, never speak to again.

    Tbf, it'd be exactly the same if you met someone on a night out or was introduced by friends.
    I don't know why this posted as anonymous...
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    I don't know why this posted as anonymous...
    Haha thanks. Though I do wonder if I should have told him straight after meeting him that I'm not interested.

    He's texted me a few times this week but I have responded back rather less engaged.

    I decided to draw the line yesterday when he texted me asking if I want to go for film and drink this evening, so I just messaged back and said it was nice to meet up and hangout but, on reflection I think our interests and personalities aren't compatible. He didn't respond back.
 
 
 
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