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Feel really upset and depressed over starting uni

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But I'm looking on Facebook and seeing photos of people from my uni partying and that's making me think everyone's out there having a good time and then there's me ...
    That's not a reason to go to a uni you don't really like, and likely drop out.
    I've had two years out, and it's fine
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    (Original post by AlexFam)
    You can always quit. What's the harm in quitting when it gets tough?
    Because if I go then quit I'll still have to pay the tuition fee
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Is there somewhere else or other course youd like to go or be happier with, that you have the grades for or could achieve in retakes? If you have really big doubts then id think about a gap year, but you arent giving me definite reasons as to why you dont want to go. Thats why you need to talk to parents friends and teachers.

    Obviously at allunis its great fro some and not others.

    Is it the Uni?
    Is it the course?
    Is it being away from home?
    Is it your fear of making friends?
    Is it the city?


    You should know yourself by now to identify what it is.
    I want to do the course. I think it's more the uni. I think I feel a bit upset about leaving my family but I feel like the area I'm not passionate and excited enough about
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Because if I go then quit I'll still have to pay the tuition fee
    I wasn't honestly suggesting you should quit.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want to do the course. I think it's more the uni. I think I feel a bit upset about leaving my family but I feel like the area I'm not passionate and excited enough about
    Did you have other unis in mind where you would like to have gone?
    Was there a reason you couldnt or didnt go there, such as grades?
    Could you achieve those grades in resits?


    Ring up your unis fees department and confirm what happens if you leave early. I think you can cancel withing 14 days without incurring fees. If thats the case go and just leave after 10 days if it all feels wrong, but have an open mind. Not really enough time but will give you a chance. talk that over with your parents.

    If you dont like it, quite, take a gap year earn money and reapply soemwhere you want to go. Do resits if you need to.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Did you have other unis in mind where you would like to have gone?
    Was there a reason you couldnt or didnt go there, such as grades?
    Could you achieve those grades in resits?


    Ring up your unis fees department and confirm what happens if you leave early. I think you can cancel withing 14 days without incurring fees. If thats the case go and just leave after 10 days if it all feels wrong, but have an open mind. Not really enough time but will give you a chance. talk that over with your parents.

    If you dont like it, quite, take a gap year earn money and reapply soemwhere you want to go. Do resits if you need to.
    There were other unis but I put one as my second choice (kinda wish I didn't now) and the other one I only realised I liked after I applied so it was a bit awkward as I'd have to go through clearing and wouldn't get accomodation
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There were other unis but I put one as my second choice (kinda wish I didn't now) and the other one I only realised I liked after I applied so it was a bit awkward as I'd have to go through clearing and wouldn't get accomodation
    Its a choice only you can make

    I would try the current one (subject to my previous advice about cancellation) if you dont like it, then reapply for the others next year and work to earn money.

    You would also incur costs over accommodation if you cancel it. Normally you have to find someone to take your place. You could try canceling it now.

    A year isnt long. Talk to your parents and friends. Crying isnt going to get you anywhere at the moment. Its impossible to say because I dont have many of the facts.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There were other unis but I put one as my second choice (kinda wish I didn't now) and the other one I only realised I liked after I applied so it was a bit awkward as I'd have to go through clearing and wouldn't get accomodation
    Sorry for the really random upvote, was using my phone and my screen spasmed.

    Anyway, it's not uncommon to feel like you can't find people to connect with in the first few weeks, or even months. I find that if your personality is a little more introverted, you generally take a little longer to find people can connect with. Don't let the fact that others are all making friends in freshers put you down. You will find someone with similar interests. And you'll want to be with these people, because they can understand you, rather than you having to try to fit in with people you don't really click with for the sake of having friends.

    so if your main concern is social-related, i would say do stay strong and hang in there, it does get better.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Its a choice only you can make

    I would try the current one (subject to my previous advice about cancellation) if you dont like it, then reapply for the others next year and work to earn money.

    You would also incur costs over accommodation if you cancel it. Normally you have to find someone to take your place. You could try canceling it now.

    A year isnt long. Talk to your parents and friends. Crying isnt going to get you anywhere at the moment. Its impossible to say because I dont have many of the facts.
    If I drop out I still need to pay the accomodation for that term which'll be a few thousand £'s and I'll still need to pay some of my tuition even if it's in the first week
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi guys, I'm starting uni tomorrow and I literally feel so upset. I want a degree but I'm moving away and I don't feel 100% about the university I've chosen. I've literally cried so many times today over it whenever I think about it I start crying. I'm not gonna see my mum tomorrow so she said goodbye to me today and she was hugging me and crying I felt so sad. When going to uni you should feel excited but I just feel so upset and anxious I feel physically sick and stressed over it I feel sick just thinking about it. I want to make new friends but I'm just in two minds about going to university because I'm not sure about the uni I've chosen and the fact that I'll be away from my family but at the same time I don't want to waste a year taking a gap year. I just feel so upset and sick about leaving I don't know what to do. Any help guys?
    Don't worry. Initially,you will feel bad about the place and about moving away from your family. This will actually ruin the excitement you had for uni and make you develop anxiety. It's pretty normal. But once you start, you'll see things progress well but the speed of this progress will be slow. You have to be patient and you'll see things are going well. Good Luck with Uni! Hope you have a great time!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If I drop out I still need to pay the accomodation for that term which'll be a few thousand £'s and I'll still need to pay some of my tuition even if it's in the first week
    Did you check with the uni what your liability will be and whether you cna avoid fees if you withdraw within 14 days?

    Did you check what your acomm liability will be if you dont turn up? You are likely to have to pay a cancellation fee plus you may be liable anyway until you find a replacement. Read the terms of your agreement.

    Ive made several posts setting it out and given you a clear idea on how to analyse the issues and the options you have, based on very luttle information or feedback. You can follow my advice or not, but at some stage you will have to make a decision.
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    What do your parents say? Are they even aware you feel this way?
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    (Original post by katierose98)
    I felt exactly the same way, throughout all of summer I couldn't stop wobbling and had extreme anxiety about the whole thing; I wasn't sure on course or uni and so I decided there was no point in starting something that I'm obviously not ready for. I've now deferred my place for a year and feel much more relaxed and have finally stopped having meltdowns.
    I'm not saying this is what you should do but I believe there should be some part of you that is excited for uni, even just a little. I was just dreading it.

    A gap year really isn't a waste of time if you find something to do, one of my friends is going back to college whilst I am continuing at my job until Christmas to earn some money before I go travelling!
    Hope I've helped ☺️
    Same here mate I couldn't stop having meltdowns. I'm still unsure about the course and the uni and I'm here and I'm still thinking about deferring. But it's way too late. As I've been here for 3 days.
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    Please just take that gap year. I wish I had that opportunity. But sadly I don't
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Did you check with the uni what your liability will be and whether you cna avoid fees if you withdraw within 14 days?

    Did you check what your acomm liability will be if you dont turn up? You are likely to have to pay a cancellation fee plus you may be liable anyway until you find a replacement. Read the terms of your agreement.

    Ive made several posts setting it out and given you a clear idea on how to analyse the issues and the options you have, based on very luttle information or feedback. You can follow my advice or not, but at some stage you will have to make a decision.
    Ooh thats tough for you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If I drop out I still need to pay the accomodation for that term which'll be a few thousand £'s and I'll still need to pay some of my tuition even if it's in the first week
    You still need to pay accommodation fees. Woah I never knew this. That's unfortunate.
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    (Original post by VictoriaCoolio)
    You still need to pay accommodation fees. Woah I never knew this. That's unfortunate.
    She would know what the situation was if she looked at her agreement. Thats what its there for. Then she coudl weigh it in.

    The same for tuition fees. Its important to know what the withdrawl terms are as there may be an opportunity to save her £2250 and that could be the difference between leaving within 14 days rather than after. Why wouldnt you want that information? If SFE start paying that also uses your gift year up in finance terms, which cna be very valuable back up.

    If she finds out, then she can make an informed decision, should she choose to leave.
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    (Original post by VictoriaCoolio)
    You still need to pay accommodation fees. Woah I never knew this. That's unfortunate.
    I decided to take a gap year in the end. The uni said i only had to pay my deposit for the accommodation as i hadn't registered at the uni yet and the course hadn't started yet. They said if i had registered i would have had to pay the accommodation for the whole term which would've been quite pricy! But if you wish that you dropped out then id recommend doing it before your course starts as you'll have to pay more once it starts and the longer you stay your accommodation fee may rise. By the way how come you don't like your uni?
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    She would know what the situation was if she looked at her agreement. Thats what its there for. Then she coudl weigh it in.

    The same for tuition fees. Its important to know what the withdrawl terms are as there may be an opportunity to save her £2250 and that could be the difference between leaving within 14 days rather than after. Why wouldnt you want that information? If SFE start paying that also uses your gift year up in finance terms, which cna be very valuable back up.

    If she finds out, then she can make an informed decision, should she choose to leave.
    thank you for the help mate. I ended up taking a gap year because i was so unsure about the university and in my gut i knew i wasn't passionate about the uni or excited about it. I contacted the uni and they said if i registered i would have had to pay waay more + accommodation. At least i now have time to think and make a proper decision. Thank you and everyone else anyway
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thank you for the help mate. I ended up taking a gap year because i was so unsure about the university and in my gut i knew i wasn't passionate about the uni or excited about it. I contacted the uni and they said if i registered i would have had to pay waay more + accommodation. At least i now have time to think and make a proper decision. Thank you and everyone else anyway
    Think youll find I was correct in that withdrawals are as I stated so they were giving you the simple version. If they let you off with no accommodation fee, then thats good. The contracts are seperate.


    Hopefully you feel a lot less stressed now. Its your choice. Just be sure to have a good think about where you want to go, possibly resit if that would help and earn some moneu. Savings make your uni experience much better.

    I promise when you look back in it, then you will realise you made the right choice.

    Tell your parent the average debt for sudents is £45,000, so its best to make sure you go to a place you are happy and on the course you want to study.
 
 
 
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Updated: September 28, 2016
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