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    (Original post by Profesh)
    No.
    Lol I'm aware 8 months isn't long, that's why I said I had been in long term relationships before (my last relationship was over 2 years) and they didn't make me as happy as this one does. It was just a bit of background reference. But you might be right, potentially not the best idea.
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    (Original post by Rhaenys10)
    I know
    OP is being rather delusional
    I don't think I am being delusional, I am weighing up the pros and cons of the whole idea. Surely being delusional would be more like me blindly following him to whichever University with no doubt we would last when in reality it is a lot less likely for this whole thing to work out and I am acknowledging that, I am simply looking for advice from people who know more about it than I do, since I haven't been to University yet.
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    (Original post by samantham999)
    Why do you need another person to make you happy? are you not happy by yourself or do you need to rely on another person?
    I am not as happy alone as I am with him. I don't need another person for happiness but the time we spend together and the feelings he causes me to experience make me happier than most other things in my life. I'm not reliant on him for happiness but if something makes you happy, why get rid of it?

    Also in relation to when I said about a future relationship not making me as happy, I just mean that (like most people) I find companionship nice, platonic or romantic, it is just a naive worry that I might not find another person who I connect with as well in the future. It's unlikely but just a worry.
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    (Original post by PrinceOfOrange)
    It's a cute idea, but I think it's a bad one. Don't put your eggs in one basket, make sure your university is right for you rather than your relationship. You could always compromise and make sure the Unis arent far apart I guess, depends how "loved" up you are
    Yeah we have considered this, and it is still an option. Thank you for your input!!
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    (Original post by elllietate)
    I am not as happy alone as I am with him. I don't need another person for happiness but the time we spend together and the feelings he causes me to experience make me happier than most other things in my life. I'm not reliant on him for happiness but if something makes you happy, why get rid of it?

    Also in relation to when I said about a future relationship not making me as happy, I just mean that (like most people) I find companionship nice, platonic or romantic, it is just a naive worry that I might not find another person who I connect with as well in the future. It's unlikely but just a worry.
    Well you're relying on him for your happiness because you just said you're not as happy when you're alone without him. I think you need to be happy on your own and there isn't a book of rules that state humans need to find a connection with another human so we can be happy?
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    (Original post by samantham999)
    Well you're relying on him for your happiness because you just said you're not as happy when you're alone without him. I think you need to be happy on your own and there isn't a book of rules that state humans need to find a connection with another human so we can be happy?
    No, I am simply increasing my happiness when I am with him. I have other sources of happiness too: friends, family, pets, hobbies etc. He is just a prominent source, like most people. Why would anyone be in a relationship if it didn't make them happier than when they weren't with them? I know for a fact my parents, who have been married for 21 years, would be miserable without each other. Humans are sociable creatures, if you feel no desire to connect with other humans that's great for you, but by nature the majority of our species needs interaction from other humans, especially those we care about. It's natural and not at all unusual to crave and want affection and company from others.
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    (Original post by elllietate)
    No, I am simply increasing my happiness when I am with him. I have other sources of happiness too: friends, family, pets, hobbies etc. He is just a prominent source, like most people. Why would anyone be in a relationship if it didn't make them happier than when they weren't with them? I know for a fact my parents, who have been married for 21 years, would be miserable without each other. Humans are sociable creatures, if you feel no desire to connect with other humans that's great for you, but by nature the majority of our species needs interaction from other humans, especially those we care about. It's natural and not at all unusual to crave and want affection and company from others.
    Of course but from your original post I think you are very much relying on him for your happiness. I think you should break up and live your life happily by meeting a new set of people on your course and university. You should be chasing your career and passions not a guy you've been with for 8 months lol
    I'm sure there are many other guys at university who will make you happy LOL
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    I understand how you feel. I've been with my boyfriend for a year, I lived with him prior to University due to a really complicated, bad home life, for around four to five months. We both ended up in Birmingham together, attending different universities (me at Uni of Birmingham) and him at Aston. I'm already really thankful that I have had him to turn to with the difficulties of adjusting to university. I know myself, and I am mature enough to work hard towards a relationship to make sure that our living arrangements succeed, and I love him. Coming home to our flat (privately rented) to him cooking food and us chilling in the evening with Netflix is my idea of fun, whether that makes me boring or not. Needless to say, my advice is to go for it. But only, if you do not compromise on the quality of your education and course. When considering moving in together, I wouldn't move unless I got into my first choice university. I don't think the quality of your education is worth compromising, but if you can somehow manage to work it out, you'd have the best of both worlds.
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    I think 8 months of knowing each other - is a little 🤔 I wouldn't risk such a decision!*
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    (Original post by elllietate)
    My boyfriend and I are both planning to start University in September 2017. We want to do completely different courses, Psychology for me and Music Production/Sound Engineering for him. As you can imagine, these two subjects don't cross over much and so not a huge amount of Universities actually offer both of these courses and the ones that do seem to, more often than not, have the lectures etc in different buildings/campuses often fairly far apart.

    Despite this, we are trying to find a University we can both attend and share accommodation somewhere between both our lecture buildings, or something like that. However it is making an already difficult task (choosing a University) significantly more challenging. Not only this, but is going to University/sharing accommodation with your partner even a good idea?

    We have been together 8 months and I have been in long term relationships before ours but none have felt this serious or real, he is very much my "first love" or whatever. We spend 3-6 days a week together and usually at least 3-4 nights together each week so we are accustomed to being in each other's presence a lot, so moving in together wouldn't be a huge leap.

    My main concerns are:
    What if we break up after we have decided to live together and attend the same University and then we are stuck/have to change last minute?
    What if we break up half way through the year and have to live together as exes?
    Is it realistic to think that a relationship of only 8 months will last until September next year, let alone through University?
    - Is it better to accept that we will break apart due to University and focus on which place is right for us as individuals purely down to personal preference, not taking into consideration it's location in relation to the other person?

    (We already agreed we couldn't do long distance as he's been cheated on in the past and although he trusts me he says the paranoia would put an unhealthy strain on the relationship and if it got to that point he'd rather we left on a positive note than get to the point where he felt like a controlling maniac and I hated him)

    Sorry for the super long post. Does anyone have experience with this or opinions? Good idea? Bad Idea? Pros/cons? Things I'm being oblivious/naive to? I'm just a bit stuck with what to do, any input is welcome. Thanks!!
    You have to make your own choices and you are having soem quite responsible thoughts.


    Personally I think you should do the course you wnat at the uni you wnat or at least research those options and see if any of yours co incide.

    Too much to start planning one of the most importnat decisions in your life around a relationship thats onlu 8 months old and at your age. The probability is that you will end and you will have several more relationships before you find someone you are ready to settle down with. Relationships can run their course, so you dont even know if yours will last till after your A levels.

    If you do it, then go into it with an open mind. What happens if one of you doesnt get the grades?
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    Your relationship is separate from your career,
    your degree will be life changing,focus on your goals find the course that is right for you so that you can succeed in life,planning your career around your relationship is a dangerous gamble which may leave you full of regret and could ruin your career and future.
    If this person really cares for you he would encourage you to do what make you happy, it seems you are compromising way too much. University is very competitive fees are on the rise too, don't take this amazing opportunity for granted, in reality you won't have the luxury to pick and choose............
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    EDIT: I must preface all of this by saying I'm a year 13 and haven't actually been to uni.

    Planning where you go purely for the sake of your relationship just sounds like an excellent way to not research the unis properly and end up going to some shithole purely to be near the guy. That said, breaking up when you really seriously like each other purely because you're going to uni in a bit sounds like a really rough deal. At least try, yknow?

    I wouldn't share accommodation just 'cause it sounds like it'd limit the amount of people you can both easily meet and become good mates with.

    (Original post by elllietate)
    I think currently my best bet is the simply go on which Uni I like best and if it happens to be one close to him then if we last through first year we could potentially move in together after a year in halls.
    This sounds the most reasonable course of action.

    (Original post by samantham999)
    Why do you need another person to make you happy? are you not happy by yourself or do you need to rely on another person?
    I do love me a good gross oversimplification of other people's sense of priorities and feelings.
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    My best friend went to the same university as her boyfriend and they rented a flat privately rather than living in halls of residence. 4 years later they are both graduates, still together and expecting their first child. I agree that you should definitely choose the course that's right for you, but I disagree that relationships can't work when you go to uni. I am currently studying at Uni and I'm living with my boyfriend. Uni is awesome but there is nothing that has made me second think our relationship. If it's meant to be it will be. Just make sure you do what's right for you not what's right for him. ☺️
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    Going to different Unis is not always a bad thing.. I know a couple who got together in high school, went off to different Uni's and stayed together and now are at different uni's again doing masters and are still together.. I'm not saying they didn't have to work hard to make it work, but if your relationship is meant to be then you'll make it work.

    But the other are right about Uni needing to be right for you, cause nothing will put more strain on your relationship than one of you being completely unhappy because they on the wrong course at the wrong uni.
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    Don't compromise your education for a relationship that may or may not last.
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    Hi there I was in exactly the same position as you when I started uni! After 7 months together, I went to London and he went to Swansea. We broke up within a month, as did pretty much every other couple I know. I didn’t have a problem with long-distance and was prepared to make the 3-4 hour train journey every couple of weekends, but he hated it and it caused so many arguments we decided to go our separate ways. I’m now a completely different person to the fresher I was 3 years ago; you have so many exciting experiences ahead of you that are going to make you change and grow as a person no matter how mature you might already be and if your partner can’t change with you, it will most likely cause some tension. If you break up on good terms though, it could still work in the future if it’s a typical right guy-wrong time situation. My parents got together at 18, broke up when dad moved to France for a year, found their way back to each other and have now been happily married for 27 years! You justhave to take the leap of faith that if you’re meant to be together, you will find your way back to each other in the end!
    As for living together, my current boyfriend moved in with his ex after 3 years of dating; only to break up the summer before they were due to move in. But the contract had already be signed so they had no other option but to live out the year as exs… which resulted in him getting really depressed and isolated since he’d based his living plans entirely around her. And that’s after 3 YEARS of dating! No matter how strong your relationship might be and how sure you are of the person, circumstances and people change so you can’t predict what the future might hold. And remember, you only get one chance to experience uni - if you put your relationship before yourself you have to be prepared to sacrifice experiences which you can never get back. Especially in first year when you’re settling in, I can’t stress how important it is to put yourself out there and make friends and have fun, which will be 10X harder if you’re not in halls! They say your uni years are the best of your life – enjoy yourself and know that if he’s the one, you guys will work it out
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    As someone who thought exactly as you did at 8 months, and now is over a year and half into a relationship and looking at uni, your feelings will fade naturally. This isn't necessarily bad, but your relationship will be different with time. Only go to the same unis if the course is perfect for both of you, and *do not* live together. If you're still together and happy - cool. If not, you have space to move on
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    (Original post by elllietate)
    My boyfriend and I are both planning to start University in September 2017. We want to do completely different courses, Psychology for me and Music Production/Sound Engineering for him. As you can imagine, these two subjects don't cross over much and so not a huge amount of Universities actually offer both of these courses and the ones that do seem to, more often than not, have the lectures etc in different buildings/campuses often fairly far apart.

    Despite this, we are trying to find a University we can both attend and share accommodation somewhere between both our lecture buildings, or something like that. However it is making an already difficult task (choosing a University) significantly more challenging. Not only this, but is going to University/sharing accommodation with your partner even a good idea?

    We have been together 8 months and I have been in long term relationships before ours but none have felt this serious or real, he is very much my "first love" or whatever. We spend 3-6 days a week together and usually at least 3-4 nights together each week so we are accustomed to being in each other's presence a lot, so moving in together wouldn't be a huge leap.

    My main concerns are:
    What if we break up after we have decided to live together and attend the same University and then we are stuck/have to change last minute?
    What if we break up half way through the year and have to live together as exes?
    Is it realistic to think that a relationship of only 8 months will last until September next year, let alone through University?
    - Is it better to accept that we will break apart due to University and focus on which place is right for us as individuals purely down to personal preference, not taking into consideration it's location in relation to the other person?

    (We already agreed we couldn't do long distance as he's been cheated on in the past and although he trusts me he says the paranoia would put an unhealthy strain on the relationship and if it got to that point he'd rather we left on a positive note than get to the point where he felt like a controlling maniac and I hated him)

    Sorry for the super long post. Does anyone have experience with this or opinions? Good idea? Bad Idea? Pros/cons? Things I'm being oblivious/naive to? I'm just a bit stuck with what to do, any input is welcome. Thanks!!
    So people are saying 'its a cute idea' but it is realistic, I've done the same and things are working better than you can imagine. I was in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for nearly3 years, about 340 miles apart, but it worked with the effort you can both put in, it will work anything is possible

    I told everyone that I was going to uni because its the one she was going too, I was told it was 'unrealistic' and I was living in some fairytale world, but I still did it and made it possible. Though are courses are similar (I'm doing Hospitality management, shes doing Retail Management) we never really see each other at uni if at all, nor do we live in the same accommodation halls (shes in halls, I have my own flat) but the truth is things have never worked out so well as long as effort is put in on both sides, and you both want the same thing. I had the same doubt, the issues, worries etc that maybe it wont work out and break up etc etc, but we have a plan to see each other but have our own lives as well i.e. socities, social, uni worketc, but still make timefor one another and be the couple that you are meant to be and want to be
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    honestly planning your education and future around someone else is stupid. Sweet, but stupid. Achieve your fullest potential and don't go somewhere just because your boyfriend is going there.
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    Bad idea and I don't expect it'll last at any rate. Be kind, (but) hit rewind
 
 
 
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