What do you think about my friends essay?

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    Additionally, Lee’s comparison of the two characters and both sections of the novel allows for the story to progress from the childlike innocence of the nature and themes presented by Boo. Hence, this drives forward the darker sphere of deeper set racial and societal discrimination in Maycomb, which Tom is subject to - a microcosm for the whole of the Deep South of America.

    'from the childlike innocence of the nature and themes presented by Boo'
    From this to what?

    This paragraph is fab otherwise. Very insightful interpretations.
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    As a result of being subject to prejudiced rumours and misconception, Boo Radley is initially presented as a symbol of fear in Part One of To Kill A Mockingbird. Due to the community’s warped belief about Boo as an individual, it is clear that he is victimised by a town tainted by a ‘disease’ of hypocrisy and intolerance, derived from paranoia and fear of change. The noun, ‘disease’ emphasises the severity and isolating impact of Boo’s discrimination. However, this ‘disease’ seems to not have plagued the characters who are perceived to be trustworthy and hold great morale, such as Atticus. These types of characters would not dare to pass judgement or comment on the Radley situation, as they would consider their view to be unjust, being that the whole situation may not be known.

    'symbol of fear'
    'Malevolent phantom' is a good quote for this paragraph.

    'great morale'
    Do you mean morals?
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    (Original post by AmeliaBaldwin)
    Additionally, Lee’s comparison of the two characters and both sections of the novel allows for the story to progress from the childlike innocence of the nature and themes presented by Boo. Hence, this drives forward the darker sphere of deeper set racial and societal discrimination in Maycomb, which Tom is subject to - a microcosm for the whole of the Deep South of America.

    'from the childlike innocence of the nature and themes presented by Boo'
    From this to what?

    This paragraph is fab otherwise. Very insightful interpretations.

    Hello, thank-you for your response. The sentence is meant to link to the next sentence, however, it seemed to be too clunky when I merged the sentences together.
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    I've edited within the quote

    (Original post by ?Hannah)
    Hey, my friend is worried that her work is too convoluted and thinks that is a bad thing at GCSE. She was too scared to post her own work, so I have posted it for her. Be as honest as you want as she wants to know the truth about it. How is Boo Radley presented in Part One of To Kill A Mockingbird?’


    In Part One, Boo Radley i̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶s̶e̶n̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ represents themes that prove to be integral to the p̶r̶o̶g̶r̶e̶s̶s̶i̶o̶n ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶d̶e̶v̶e̶l̶o̶p̶m̶e̶n̶ t̶ these two words are the ****ing same lol just pick one of To Kill A Mockingbird.

    He serves as a symbol of goodness o rlly? where? shielded by an initial veil of fear, a source of education how? and lies at victim to the prejudiced ways of Maycomb. fear is mentioned in your succeeding paragraph which is why I haven't questioned that part.

    However, the reader understands that the intolerance faced by Boo Radley in Part One foreshadows the greater societal racism experienced by Tom Robinson in the trial of Part Two. This allows for Harper Lee to juxtapose Boo Radley and Tom Robinson to emphasise their symbolism as mockingbirds. This symbolism of a mockingbird demonstrates innocence and how justice and compassion can bypass the boundary of human colour and intolerance, as shown by Scout’s c̶o̶n̶c̶l̶u̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶ benevolence towards both characters. Imo this paragraph is fine but you need evidence for that last part
    also those two are the mockingbirds, in this it's scouts innocence that allows her to bypass the "boundary" isn't it? That's how it comes across to me anyway.. so according to what you've written does that make scout a mockingbird too? idk expand on this.

    Additionally, Lee’s comparison of the two characters and both sections of the novel allows for the story to progress from the childlike innocence of the nature and themes presented by Boo. I feel like this is a good place to expand on why *you think* the story is split in two - if you think it's a significant. Also, show Boos innocence with evidence and explain how it affected the story more and perhaps other characters. Hence, this drives forward the darker sphere of deeper set racial and societal discrimination in Maycomb im sorry what lol how does comparing the two characters drive forward the darker sphere of deeper set racial societal discrimination? DEFO EXPLAIN THIS LOL idk if im just missing the point or, which Tom is subject to - a microcosm for the whole of the Deep South of America.

    As a result of being subject to prejudiced rumours too vague - just state the actual prejudice rumour(s?) or at least add an example in brackets and misconception, Boo Radley is initially presented as a symbol of fear in Part One of To Kill A Mockingbird. Due to the community’s warped belief about Boo as an individual what warped belief? you need to say what the belief issssss it is clear that he is victimised by a town tainted by a ‘disease’ of hypocrisy and intolerance, derived from paranoia and fear of change. The noun, ‘disease’ emphasises the severity and isolating impact of Boo’s discrimination. However, this ‘disease’ seems to not have plagued the characters who are perceived to be trustworthy and hold great morale, such as Atticus. part in red is great, picking up on specifics shows in depth thinking dude, do this more. These types of characters would not dare to pass judgement or comment on the Radley situation, as they would consider their view to be unjust, being that the whole situation may not be known. Meaning that, in consequence unnecessary Miss Stephanie Crawford gossips with Jem and informs him about Boo Radley’s supposed mental instability and how he had driven ‘scissors into his parent’s leg.didn't you just say these ppl wouldnt pass comments on the situation yet Crawford they just did? ’ Explicitly, the brutality of these rumours allow for Boo Radley to be perceived as a monster who should be feared, however, implicitly, the violent tone pls expand on this violent tone and where it comes from signals their absurdity and lack of truth. Furthermore, it implies that Miss Stephanie fears Boo herself, as she feels the humanistic need to gossip and exaggerate, unable to give the Radley family privacy. this sentence just sounds a bit ... odd? also i don't think gossiping implies fear. Wait... lets say it DOES imply fear you need to explain it a hell of a lot better. Perhaps saying WHY gossiping is an outlet of fear, discussing how it diffuses the "tension" i dont ****ing know lol , just explain it A̶s̶ ̶B̶o̶o̶ ̶R̶a̶d̶l̶e̶y̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶v̶i̶c̶t̶i̶m̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶c̶o̶n̶c̶e̶p̶t̶ i̶o̶n̶,̶ unncessary just add the end of this sentence to the previous sentence it allows for Miss Stephanie to be considered as the ‘neighbourhood scold.’ Additionally resulting use of both words is weird bro, pick one, or for example: and so crwaford becomes the prejudiced gauge by which we measure other characters through the novel. then give an example or where you can compare another character with her, otherwise your statement seems superficial. Stephanie Crawford becoming the prejudiced gauge by which we measure other characters throughout the novel .̶ ̶T̶h̶u̶s̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶r̶e̶f̶l̶e̶c̶t̶s̶ ̶ reflecting how and why the children and other citizens appear to hold some reservations by perhaps being fearful and intolerant of Boo. idk if im just being stupid or are you saying stephanies "gauge" (or whatever the f) is why the children and everyone else appears to hold reservations? please explain this more clearly . Furthermore, these reservations using the same word twice in close proximity, just add it on to the previous sentence, for example: remove "by perhaps being fearful and intolerant of Boo" and change it to: hold some reservations because of how mysterious Boo appears to be then explain how the unknown is discomforting or something... may exist as Boo Radley appears to be presented as an example of the unknown, with the unknown being feared by the people of Maycomb. This is further implied by the citizens of Maycomb ignorantly describing Boo Radley as a ‘malevolent phantom’ and a ‘ghoul.’ With the phrases providing connotations of a feared ghost, it is eerily implied how Boo Radley is never seen, but, is undoubtedly alive. part in red is foking brilliant m8 (genuinely ) Perhaps this suggests Boo’s reluctance to be a part of Maycomb, possibly disagreeing with the segregated, judgemental and insular ways of Alabama in 1930. Boo may have decided that being considered a symbol of fear and an outsider was a better fate than feeling forced to adopt the ways of Maycomb, in order to be free of prejudice and part of the community. one last thing you seem to have used a thesaurus MULTIPLE times but never found another word for fear lol, please do

    apologies for getting way too into this lol, I did mockingbird during my GCSEs,
    and I got full marks in all my eng coursework so trust me on this. Don't judge any typos n **** english in what I've written cause TSR isn't formal.

    I've just written my initial thoughts so i don't mind if you think what I've written it complete rubbish lol but some parts did require ALOT of thinking to try and understand what you've written so I'd rather you didn't completely dismiss this.

    tell me if it helps though + show your friend OBVIOUSLY.
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    (Original post by ?Hannah)
    Hey, my friend is worried that her work is too convoluted and thinks that is a bad thing at GCSE. She was too scared to post her own work, so I have posted it for her. Be as honest as you want as she wants to know the truth about it. How is Boo Radley presented in Part One of To Kill A Mockingbird?’

    In Part One, Boo Radley is presented to represent themes that prove to be integral to the progression and development of To Kill A Mockingbird. He serves as a symbol of goodness shielded by an initial veil of fear, a source of education and lies at victim to the prejudiced ways of Maycomb. However, the reader understands that the intolerance faced by Boo Radley in Part One foreshadows the greater societal racism experienced by Tom Robinson in the trial of Part Two. This allows for Harper Lee to juxtapose Boo Radley and Tom Robinson to emphasise their symbolism as mockingbirds. This symbolism of a mockingbird demonstrates innocence and how justice and compassion can bypass the boundary of human colour and intolerance, as shown by Scout’s concluding benevolence towards both characters. Additionally, Lee’s comparison of the two characters and both sections of the novel allows for the story to progress from the childlike innocence of the nature and themes presented by Boo. Hence, this drives forward the darker sphere of deeper set racial and societal discrimination in Maycomb, which Tom is subject to - a microcosm for the whole of the Deep South of America.

    As a result of being subject to prejudiced rumours and misconception, Boo Radley is initially presented as a symbol of fear in Part One of To Kill A Mockingbird. Due to the community’s warped belief about Boo as an individual, it is clear that he is victimised by a town tainted by a ‘disease’ of hypocrisy and intolerance, derived from paranoia and fear of change. The noun, ‘disease’ emphasises the severity and isolating impact of Boo’s discrimination. However, this ‘disease’ seems to not have plagued the characters who are perceived to be trustworthy and hold great morale, such as Atticus. These types of characters would not dare to pass judgement or comment on the Radley situation, as they would consider their view to be unjust, being that the whole situation may not be known. Meaning that, in consequence, Miss Stephanie Crawford gossips with Jem and informs him about Boo Radley’s supposed mental instability and how he had driven ‘scissors into his parent’s leg.’ Explicitly, the brutality of these rumours allow for Boo Radley to be perceived as a monster who should be feared, however, implicitly, the violent tone signals their absurdity and lack of truth. Furthermore, it implies that Miss Stephanie fears Boo herself, as she feels the humanistic need to gossip and exaggerate, unable to give the Radley family privacy. As Boo Radley is victim to this misconception, it allows for Miss Stephanie to be considered as the ‘neighbourhood scold.’ Additionally resulting in Stephanie Crawford becoming the prejudiced gauge by which we measure other characters throughout the novel. Thus, this reflects how and why the children and other citizens appear to hold some reservations by perhaps being fearful and intolerant of Boo. Furthermore, these reservations may exist as Boo Radley appears to be presented as an example of the unknown, with the unknown being feared by the people of Maycomb. This is further implied by the citizens of Maycomb ignorantly describing Boo Radley as a ‘malevolent phantom’ and a ‘ghoul.’ With the phrases providing connotations of a feared ghost, it is eerily implied how Boo Radley is never seen, but, is undoubtedly alive. Perhaps this suggests Boo’s reluctance to be a part of Maycomb, possibly disagreeing with the segregated, judgemental and insular ways of Alabama in 1930. Boo may have decided that being considered a symbol of fear and an outsider was a better fate than feeling forced to adopt the ways of Maycomb, in order to be free of prejudice and part of the community.
    Beginning middle and end remember. I think she needs to make it less convoluted, and think more about the structure. But then what do i know, who only got a b for gcse english lan and lit?
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    I don't know what someone people are saying but I don't really think there is an excess of big words! As mentioned by previous posters there could be better wording for several things, but I don't mind the vocab choice
 
 
 
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