Why do people say "You'll find someone soon"?

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    (Original post by FireFreezer77)
    Why do y'all say this to me and to others in fact?
    Why?
    It doesn't make anything better! It makes things worse if anything as we know we're not gonna find someone soon (well I know I won't anyway) so it just hurts that they say I will when I won't!
    You don't know what's gonna happen! You don't know the aspects of their life, but yet you know that they'll get a SO soon?
    How?

    I'm baffled by this concept!
    Please explain!
    Thanks!
    It's just sugar coating, they don't want to deal with your whining and they're being nice about it, that and they don't want to see you sad.

    Focusing on you, you really need to stop pitying yourself, I don't mean to offend you, but it's really just sickening. No one can really make you, but I can add to the effect if there is any that you need to stop believing that you need someone to be happy and just enjoy being on your own.
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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EEW-9NDM5k

    Sums it up
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's just sugar coating, they don't want to deal with your whining and they're being nice about it, that and they don't want to see you sad.

    Focusing on you, you really need to stop pitying yourself, I don't mean to offend you, but it's really just sickening. No one can really make you, but I can add to the effect if there is any that you need to stop believing that you need someone to be happy and just enjoy being on your own.
    I like how you went anon for this. Show yourself or go away if you're gonna say stuff like this anon!
    I'm not whining, I'm just stating the truth I think you'll find!

    Well sorry for making you sick, you don't have to read my posts so you're only to blame there.

    Now reveal yourself or be a coward forever!
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    (Original post by FireFreezer77)
    But all it doesn't is make me feel even less confident!
    But that's what this makes me think anyway so I doesn't make any difference!
    I've never felt confident tbh (well I did once but that lasted for a week and was then crushed!)
    I know o won't find her because I have no confidence, I look awful, I'm super introverted (can't hold a convo in person), have no interestes that anyone else has, super insecure, self conscious, dumb etc...
    I'm 19.
    Well depends on certain circumstances in my life really. May not have much of a life to live.
    I hate life most of the time and just want it to end
    But when I wake up happy I almost always end up depressed by the end of the day (like today for example).
    Thanks but are those really true?
    Well I hope so tbh!

    Sorry for being negative but I'm just feeling really depressed about things currently.

    :console: :hugs:

    I really don't know what to say to make you feel better

    Have you thought about doing yoga/meditating? It will help you clear your mind and find yourself and deal with your problems and put your mind at peace.

    Maybe you could take some type of martial arts? It will help you feel more confident about yourself and you will feel untouchable like no one can mess with you lol

    Hopefully overtime you will learn to accept yourself and not look down on yourself.
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    Giving people hope, basically.

    It's got to the point now where if someone says this to me, or something similar, I want to slam their head against a brick wall. The gesture is nice, but I can't stand the fallacy. No girl will ever want me, so there's no point saying to the contrary.

    OP; I think you're a sound guy, and I've given you advice before on your situation. I know it's hard, but hang in there. It may not happen as soon as you'd like, but it will happen. When it does, the wait will have been worthwhile. Trust me.
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    Why does it have to be about finding someone? I made an account just for this thread, because I've been through this.
    Here's some advice for you, nobody is going to get you out of this, it's got to come from you, you can't just think that your outlook on life will magically change if you find some special person. Everyone around you is just as bad as you or worse, it's just that they've learned to get over it.

    You're baffled by the concept of hope? I doubt it. You're in a low place, instead of being pathetic and posting a forum question about it, you've got to look deep inside your soul, this could be many long nights, listening to music, or silence, in deep thought. Think, why are you here? What's keeping you here? And where do you want to be?

    But I've got to give you a tip here, if you're gonna seek validation from the fact that you have "someone" or not, then that's a more shallow life than the one you're living now. You know how many people kill themselves because they can't find validation, especially from women? More than you could count.

    We are all made in God's image, you don't get to say things like:
    "Well depends on certain circumstances in my life really. May not have much of a life to live."

    The only thing that anything depends on in your life, is you, everybody starts with nothing, royalty or otherwise, you've got to make something out of nothing, you've got to become someone, a real person with whom others can communicate, relate, and befriend.

    You've got to put your faith into something that's real. If you want to open your eyes, and make something out of your life, find a local church, go inside on a Sunday morning and ask for guidance, you won't be turned down. Everyone's got trouble, but nobody is too much trouble. Believe it or not, there are people out there who don't want this world to lose another lost soul to the worldly troubles which so often consume them.
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    They wanna give people false hope which makes them feel like they can sit around, do nothing and someone will magically come into their life which is ****ing bs.
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    I gave up on the concept of relationships. In my opinion, it's too bothersome and could waste a lot of potential time especially where I'm at right now. So, even if there is someone that comes along every now and then and they do. It just up to whether your willing to take actions and pick your self back up and do things you enjoy. As for me however, I completely gave up on it. I just think it's a load of hoax, love.
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    What's the alternative, 'you're going to be single and sexually frustrated for a very long time'. Take it in the spirit it's intended and use it as an extra irritating incentive to snare a partner.
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    Laziness interspersed with the desire to make you feel good. It's the equivalent of telling a grieving family "we're praying for you" after a tsunami destroys their home and loved ones- okay maybe an EXTREME example but you get what I mean.

    Some people meet that special someone by chance when they're not even looking for someone. Others actively search and find that special someone via effort.
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    It's just a way to show a little empathy.
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    OP you've got this all wrong.

    What do you have to offer? Why should they go for you? Are you in shape? What is your hygiene like? Are you funny? Are you interesting? Do you have options i.e not clingy? Are you intelligent? Do you dress well ?

    OR

    Do you make whiny posts about people who have no power to change who you are and therefore say things like you'll find someone soon?

    They say that because they expect you'll change something and improve as time goes on. Not that you'll stay stagnant and continue to live a life which has deemed you single.
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    (Original post by FireFreezer77)
    Why do y'all say this to me and to others in fact?
    Why?
    It doesn't make anything better! It makes things worse if anything as we know we're not gonna find someone soon (well I know I won't anyway) so it just hurts that they say I will when I won't!
    You don't know what's gonna happen! You don't know the aspects of their life, but yet you know that they'll get a SO soon?
    How?

    I'm baffled by this concept!
    Please explain!
    Thanks!
    People lie to make others feel better. In your case, your posts are very doom and gloom so people try to cheer you up 'cos they like you.

    Or they might actually mean it.
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    Because literally no one is special in this regard. So you find someone with a one in a million property? There's 30 (or 50-60 if you're bi) in the UK alone to find, and millions more with different aspects you can love even more. Everyone has something to offer, and there's millions of them to find. Don't get hung up on one person if things don't work out.
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    Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something to make people want you. You're not broken or stuck by anything innate.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    Because people need some sort of comforting to gain some confidence. If we said to you "you won't find a girl" that would just be reiterating what you are thinking the whole time. However, we want you to feel confident because that's a very important part when it comes to dating. You see this sentence "well I know I won't", then you go on to say that you don't know what will happen, how do you know for sure won't find that girl then? You don't know if tomorrow you'll meet the girl of your dreams. The idea is not to give you false hope, but to make you not overthink situations like this. You're what 18 or 19 years old? Still a young man with his life right in front of him. Enjoy life and make sure you're comfortable living it. If you wake up tomorrow thinking negatively then that's how your day will be like. You're genuine, honest, nice, caring and these are good traits to have. People tell you this every day on here but you need to realise this yourself, then you'll start to feel confident
    Great advice
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    (Original post by StfuPls)
    What do you have to offer? Why should they go for you? Are you in shape? What is your hygiene like? Are you funny? Are you interesting? Do you have options i.e not clingy? Are you intelligent? Do you dress well ?
    Even if OP fulfills all this criteria, there's still no guarantees.
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    To encourage you to keep trying.
 
 
 
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