Losing my faith

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    #2

    Try and be accepted into a good uni thats far away
    For example if you live in London try getting into Birmingham or Warwick or something.
    Then move out.
    Dont start telling them you disagree with all these things all at once in your first week
    I did that and they tried to pull me out of uni and i wouldnt dare to say anything now or my life would actually be over so im giving it time.

    Take it slow, do your research and email/ text them or write a letter or something - make it seem more like you are confused and are trying to understand and want them to explain to you rather than you being adamant that you want to leave and they cant do anything about it because that will piss them off.

    Once they explain, give it another few days and then counteract their arguments with what you believe if you still think theyre wrong.

    It should hopefully make any damage to your relationship more manageable? You really dont want to go about this wrong and go full on rebellious stubborn teenager mode, esp if youre a girl and your parents are concerned with social status and honour, or it will not be pretty. I know its hard to be patient but you have to be

    Good luck
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My parents are overprotective my mothrr isn't willing to send me to a uni out of the city
    Hi
    Questioning Islam doesn't make you a bad Muslim, as nobody is perfect.

    I'm assuming you're a girl, so I wouldn't understand the limitations/restircitions placed upon you. However, you need to understand your parents' (going to make an assumption again are immigrants?) and thus they their own culture+identity they want you to also acquire and hold onto.

    It's always difficult for me to understand why parents would hinder their childs educational progress. I sympathise with you, as that must be difficult and it's probably annoying for you as you're thinking 'you're not in my shoes, so you wouldn't understand how bad it is'. Yet, there are loads in similar positions as you, so keep your head up, seek knowledge and insha'Allah reaffirm your deen and be positive.
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    I know this Muslim guy who gave up on religion and stuff and started sleeping around with random girls. He ended up getting one pregnant and didn't tell his family about it.

    They were strict parents but they trusted the guy and let him out and even bought him an apartment to live alone and stuff. They eventually found out through other people and were very disappointed.

    He betrayed their trust so they pretty much disowned him and told him to do whatever he wants and now he gets no help or support. He pretty much screwed up. While other people think "that's fine, he got freedom" and what not. What's the point if you hurt your parents to the point they don't even want to see your face? He was from an Asian background so it was worse because he had to tolerate relative nonsense too.


    Your parents aren't going to cage you and force you to get married (esp this young). Try talking to them so that they know. Just remember, family are the only ones you can turn to (unless if you weren't blessed with good parents).
    #2

    (Original post by Applepiex3)
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    I know this Muslim guy who gave up on religion and stuff and started sleeping around with random girls. He ended up getting one pregnant and didn't tell his family about it.

    They were strict parents but they trusted the guy and let him out and even bought him an apartment to live alone and stuff. They eventually found out through other people and were very disappointed.

    He betrayed their trust so they pretty much disowned him and told him to do whatever he wants and now he gets no help or support. He pretty much screwed up. While other people think "that's fine, he got freedom" and what not. What's the point if you hurt your parents to the point they don't even want to see your face? He was from an Asian background so it was worse because he had to tolerate relative nonsense too.

    Your parents aren't going to cage you and force you to get married (esp this young). Try talking to them so that they know. Just remember, family are the only ones you can turn to (unless if you weren't blessed with good parents).
    If they were a Muslim girl that got pregnant her body would prob have been found the next day js.
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    (Original post by Applepiex3)
    What's the point if you hurt your parents to the point they don't even want to see your face?
    Then fk that family. To disown your child because of your own adherence to your religion...it's ridiculous.
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    (Original post by cbblitz)
    Then fk that family. To disown your child because of your own adherence to your religion...it's ridiculous.
    They are not likely to disown you completely, probably forget about it a little after a while. OP just needs to talk to a relative he can trust or his parents. He's not done anything bad apart from admit how he feels.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If they were a Muslim girl that got pregnant her body would prob have been found the next day js.
    I thought OP was a guy, oops.

    If it's a Muslim girl who got pregnant then she would probably be forced to get married in another country. However you are right about the honour killings.
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    (Original post by liquidconfidence)
    You aren't a true Muslim if you believe all of those things and disagree with the reasons behind the rules and restrictions.
    actually all you have to do to be a muslim is believe in the shahadah and not commit shirk.
    #3

    h333 any advice for this sister?
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    (Original post by mkap)
    actually all you have to do to be a muslim is believe in the shahadah and not commit shirk.
    Going against Tawheed goes deeper than just worshiping other things. There are also other ways you can take yourself out of Islam e.g. mocking parts of the Qur'an.

    Thanks for the rep btw.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to start any arguments so please bear that in mind

    I am a muslim, i have been brought up as one and i do love my religion. However i have been realising all these restrictions placed upon me such as who and who i can't marry, the way i should act or dress, misogyny and all sorts of stuff. I do agree in the teachings and it being a way of life but i just don't know if the belief and acceptance in some aspects is going to keep me grounded to the religion.

    I feel like in the near future i'm gonna make decisions that aren't acceptable in my religion and i am gonna disown my family...

    Help?
    My advice is that you need to change your perspective - the basis of truth for a religion isn't moral and subjective issues like misogyny, dress code etc, rather it is in its comprehensiveness and ability to provide answers for everything, and if there is any flaw in it which is free from subjectivity e.g. is the religious book corrupted etc.

    Secondly you need to think about the purpose of life - why are you here, why were you created? Is the purpose of life to chase this world and just try and do what we want no matter the cost? Do you need to care what society thinks is moral and immoral or only what God thinks? Is your soul accountable to God or society, ultimately? These are just some questions you need to ask yourself.

    It's good you have acknowledged you need to reground your faith, but now you need to make the effort to actually do it; I have spoken to several people in the past who have slipped off religion and every time it's because they acknowledged they needed to change but weren't willing to put in the effort and thought they could continue living and thinking as they did and some how magically they would just get religious one day; they either ended up as ex-Muslims or remain ignorant on their religion to this day...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    no religion is perfect and yeah i did mention those things
    Religion can be perfect, it's just the followers who never will be
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for all the advice guys
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My parents are overprotective my mothrr isn't willing to send me to a uni out of the city
    She cannot force you to only apply to local unis. Take a loan and study out.
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    (Original post by Zamestaneh)
    Secondly you need to think about the purpose of life - why are you here, why were you created? Is the purpose of life to chase this world and just try and do what we want no matter the cost? Do you need to care what society thinks is moral and immoral or only what God thinks? Is your soul accountable to God or society, ultimately? These are just some questions you need to ask yourself.

    She can also think about these questions: "Was Mohammed right? How can we know he was really a prophet? How can we know that the Qu'ran was really told by God? How do we know what God thinks?"
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    h333 any advice for this sister?
    Lol who are you? I will read first and I am sure many have given good advice
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    no religion is perfect
    Most Muslims would disagree with you on that!
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    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    Most Muslims would disagree with you on that!
    If [x religion] is perfect, why do [x religion Western followers] not follow it to the letter?
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    Sis you are still young, it is okay to be unsure esp in an environment that constantly attacked religion and Islam. Speaking from exp, I will say don't be hasty, take some time to read and listen to what Islam and the scholars say regarding your concerns, bcos trust me it does address them. Us muslims nowadays are very very ignorant about deen, myself included and this is why the atheist bs might shake us sometimes. Nouman Ali Khan is good person to listen to, he himself became an atheist at one point in his life. At the end of the day, it really is your choice and I know deep down you know God is true, and the hereafter and so on but we want to justify following our desires. Remember though, in the remembrance of God do hearts find ease.
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    (Original post by Josb)
    She can also think about these questions: "Was Mohammed right? How can we know he was really a prophet? How can we know that the Qu'ran was really told by God? How do we know what God thinks?"
    I agree Luckily there are answers to these questions if she looks for them
 
 
 
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