Turn on thread page Beta

What's your lamest joke? watch

    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    I went to a really emotional wedding the it her day.

    Even the cake was in tiers.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    I'm thinking of replacing my old calendar soon.

    Its days are numbered.. :hide:
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    How do monkeys make toast?
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Put bread under the gorilla
    • Section Leader
    • Very Important Poster
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    22
    ReputationRep:
    Section Leader
    Very Important Poster
    Peer Support Volunteers
    Clearing and Applications Advisor
    What kind of music do chiropractors listen to?
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Hip-pop
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    a) Knock knock
    b) Who's there?
    a) Doctor...
    b)Doctor who?
    a) Doctor Who .:rofl:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Okay, i just realized that's a knock,knock jokes. :rofl:
    • Community Assistant
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    Very Important Poster
    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To get to the other side.

    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    The Chicken :cool:
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    One day a man got a knock on his door. He opened the door and saw a snail. Without hesitation he picked the snail up and threw it as far as he could.

    4 years he got a knock on his door again. When he opened the door, he saw the same snail and it says to the man 'Hey, what was that all about?'
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    Are you all all right? No you're all all left.

    It's not mine but people consider it lame. But i don't understand its really funny.

    Source :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niOqJLPRSQ4
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Why isn't your nose 30cm long?

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Because then it would be a foot.



    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by FightToWin)
    How do monkeys make toast?
    Spoiler:
    Show

    Put bread under the gorilla
    I don't get it.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Have you heard the joke about the butter? Well I won't tell you in case you spread it.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    What do you call a fish with no eye?
    Spoiler:
    Show

    A fsh
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    i left my old Hoover™ switched on in the attic.

    Spoiler:
    Show

    it's gathering dust
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by chelseadagg3r)
    What's you lamest clean joke? I'm expecting plenty of puns and dad jokes!

    I know so many :laugh:

    How do you organise a Space party?
    Spoiler:
    Show

    You planet!

    How many ears does Spock have?
    Spoiler:
    Show

    3! A left ear, a right ear, and a Final Frontier!

    How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
    Spoiler:
    Show

    Ten-tickles!

    :giggle:
    What do you call a chav in a beehive? Buzzin'
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    So there's this man - he's a faith healer. He went to Trafalgar Square in London and cried out through a megaphone "Gather round, gather round, all thee with problems! Let us all pray for you together, and by the power of God, you will be healed"!.

    A crowd amasses, interested in the man's claims, and he says to them, "I need someone for us to pray for". An elderly lady called Mrs. Smith comes forwards on crutches, and says, "Sir, I've been on this frame for 30 years. I would really like to be able to walk once again". The man assures her that the crowd's prayers most certainly can help, and instructs her to stand behind his curtain.

    The man asks for another volunteer, and a middle-aged man called Mr. Jones comes forwards, and says - with a pronounced lisp - "Sir, I've always talked like this for all of my life. I would love to speak normally!". Once again, the main assures him that the crowd's prayers most certainly will help, and instructs him to stand behind his curtain.

    The faith healer then calls upon the crown to pray together to grant Mrs. Smith her ability to walk, and Mr. Jones his ability to speak. They pray and they pray and they pray, until the man calls out to Mrs. Smith:

    "Throw one crutch over the screen!"

    A crutch comes flying over.

    "Throw the other crutch over the screen!"

    Another crutch comes flying over.

    "Mr. Jones - say something!"

    Silence.















    A nervous voice comes from behind the screen:

    "Errm... Mrs. Smith has just fallen over..."

    Spoiler:
    Show


    This is my Grandad's favourite joke; even after telling it at every dinner party, he still can't help but laugh every time!

    • Section Leader
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Section Leader
    Clearing and Applications Advisor
    What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill towards him?

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Oh look, there's a herd of elephants.

    Spoiler:
    Show

    What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill towards him, wearing sunglasses?

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Nothing.
    He didn't recognise them.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jneill)
    What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill towards him?

    HAHAHAH~
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Ok bad jokes let's see:

    Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
    because he had nobody to go with.
    • Community Assistant
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Offline

    22
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    Clearing and Applications Advisor
    (Original post by XOR_)
    Ok bad jokes let's see:

    Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
    because he had nobody to go with.
    Who was the skeleton detective?
    Spoiler:
    Show

    Sherlock bones :mmm:
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    what did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor







    where's my tractor
 
 
 
The home of Results and Clearing

1,256

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year
Poll
A-level students - how do you feel about your results?
Useful resources
AtCTs

Ask the Community Team

Got a question about the site content or our moderation? Ask here.

Welcome Lounge

Welcome Lounge

We're a friendly bunch. Post here if you're new to TSR.

Groups associated with this forum:

View associated groups

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.