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    (Original post by jake-1996)
    I'm in my second year of uni and there are 6 of us sharing a house. Originally it was only supposed to be 5 but someone joined last minute because he didn't have anywhere else to go. I didn't want this to happen but there was nothing I could do about it. Anyway me and this other guy don't get on well and since the house has started talking about living arrangements for next year, I have said I't best if me and that guy don't live together. All of the other house including my so called best friend said they want to live with him and I am left on my own which means I will need to commute from home next year since there is no one else I can live with. My best friend said it'll be ok since she will make the effort to visit me but I don't think that makes up for the fact they're practically kicking me out on my own. Do I have a right to be angry and upset with my housemates?
    They aren't kicking you out. You are making them choose between you and him and since he isn't the one making the issue it's only fair they don't turn around to him and say "you can't live with us". You're removing yourself from the group. No you do not have a right to be angry. You have a right to not live with someone you don't want to but that is your own decision and you can't make other people choose between friends. In life you need to realise that there will be some people you don't get on with that others close to you might and you need to grow up and deal with it by either tolerating their presence or not hanging around with your friends when they're there, which I personally think is shooting yourself in the foot and stupid.
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    (Original post by Moura)
    They aren't kicking you out. You are making them choose between you and him and since he isn't the one making the issue it's only fair they don't turn around to him and say "you can't live with us". You're removing yourself from the group. No you do not have a right to be angry. You have a right to not live with someone you don't want to but that is your own decision and you can't make other people choose between friends. In life you need to realise that there will be some people you don't get on with that others close to you might and you need to grow up and deal with it by either tolerating their presence or not hanging around with your friends when they're there, which I personally think is shooting yourself in the foot and stupid.
    I explained why I don't want to live with him though, ie, hes broken a few of my possessions and complains when I ask for the money for them, he uses my things without asking, hes practically always on drugs. And he has other options and other people that have asked him to live with them whereas I haven't so my friends are basically making me homeless.
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    (Original post by jake-1996)
    I explained why I don't want to live with him though, ie, hes broken a few of my possessions and complains when I ask for the money for them, he uses my things without asking, hes practically always on drugs. And he has other options and other people that have asked him to live with them whereas I haven't so my friends are basically making me homeless.
    You can try and justify it all you want, what I said still stands and you don't have a right to be angry. You are making yourself homeless.

    I don't really care though, go ahead and be angry with them. You'll just end up being bitter and losing friends through being unreasonable but that's your choice.
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    Seems like you didn't like this guy from the offset, and were expecting your friends to back you up in excluding him. But in reality they get on with him, and probably recognise that that would be a bit of a *****y thing to do.

    So now instead of being mature, conceding, and sharing a house with that guy, you are cutting your nose off by commuting when you really don't want to.

    Come on.
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    (Original post by Moura)
    You can try and justify it all you want, what I said still stands and you don't have a right to be angry. You are making yourself homeless.

    I don't really care though, go ahead and be angry with them. You'll just end up being bitter and losing friends through being unreasonable but that's your choice.
    How am I being unreasonable by not wanting to live with someone I don't get on with?
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    (Original post by jake-1996)
    How am I being unreasonable by not wanting to live with someone I don't get on with?
    Not wanting to live with someone you don't get on with is reasonable. Giving your friends an "it's me or him" ultimatum and then getting angry and saying they're kicking you out when they don't do what you want them to (probably because they think it's quite rude/mean/unfair) is very unreasonable.
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    (Original post by Moura)
    Not wanting to live with someone you don't get on with is reasonable. Giving your friends an "it's me or him" ultimatum and then getting angry and saying they're kicking you out when they don't do what you want them to (probably because they think it's quite rude/mean/unfair) is very unreasonable.
    But he has other friends he can move in with, who have asked him to live with them whereas I don't.
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    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    Seems like you didn't like this guy from the offset, and were expecting your friends to back you up in excluding him. But in reality they get on with him, and probably recognise that that would be a bit of a *****y thing to do.

    So now instead of being mature, conceding, and sharing a house with that guy, you are cutting your nose off by commuting when you really don't want to.

    Come on.
    Why should I have to be the one to concede though since he is the one that is difficult to love with? He has broken my things and complained about paying for them, hes constantly on drugs, never cleans up after himself and talks about me behind my back so that is why I don't want to live with him for another year and Its not a *****y thing to do since he has other offers of places to live from other friends whereas I don't
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    (Original post by jake-1996)
    But he has other friends he can move in with, who have asked him to live with them whereas I don't.
    Maybe he doesn't want to live with them? Maybe he likes living with his current housemates? Maybe his current housemates like living with him? Telling someone they can't live with you is really nasty regardless of whether they have other options, forcing them into a position they might not necessarily want. It's only you with the problem and not your housemates so why would they do that to someone?

    A reasonable response to this situation would have been saying to your friends that you don't really like living with him and asking if there's a solution that isn't forcing him out (even if he has "other options" that's a pretty **** thing to do) and if there isn't sucking it up and living with him OR making the decision to live at home without being a b*tch about it.
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    This is really your own fault. If you're the one who refused to live with this guy then it's not unreasonable that you're the one to leave. I can see why you're upset but you caused the problem so why should this other person suffer for it? As for your close friend there's not really anything they can do by being on your side, they can't out vote the others and presumably don't wanna end up kicked out of the house themselves if it turns nasty.

    You've really got two choices - grow up and try and work out your differences with this person (you haven't explained what the actual problem is) or stick to your guns and commute... personally I would at least try and spend some time with them and see if anything clicks
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    This is really your own fault. If you're the one who refused to live with this guy then it's not unreasonable that you're the one to leave. I can see why you're upset but you caused the problem so why should this other person suffer for it? As for your close friend there's not really anything they can do by being on your side, they can't out vote the others and presumably don't wanna end up kicked out of the house themselves if it turns nasty.

    You've really got two choices - grow up and try and work out your differences with this person (you haven't explained what the actual problem is) or stick to your guns and commute... personally I would at least try and spend some time with them and see if anything clicks
    I have explained what the problem is. He's broken some of my possessions and complained when I asked to be payed for them, he's constantly on drugs, refuses to clean up after himself and uses my things without asking. We've had meetings about it but he hasn't changed his behaviour
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    (Original post by jake-1996)
    How is it pathetic to not want to live with someone who I really don't get on with. It might help you understand better if I tell you why I dont like him. He uses my things without asking, he has broken some of my possessions then had a go at me when I asked for the money for them. He is practically always on drugs and he never cleans up after himself even when everyone tells him to then goes behind my back to complain about my attitude to other members of the house. Thats why I don't want to live with him for another year.
    Sounds childish to me....
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    (Original post by jake-1996)
    I have explained what the problem is. He's broken some of my possessions and complained when I asked to be payed for them, he's constantly on drugs, refuses to clean up after himself and uses my things without asking. We've had meetings about it but he hasn't changed his behaviour
    If you have had meetings then wouldnt the house hold of said something like "lets get rid of him?". If all of what you said he has done is true?...
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    (Original post by Splishsplash1)
    Sounds childish to me....
    (Original post by Splishsplash1)
    If you have had meetings then wouldnt the house hold of said something like "lets get rid of him?". If all of what you said he has done is true?...
    No, the house seem to think giving him more and more chances will work whereas I think there has to be a limit to what I should accept.
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    (Original post by jake-1996)
    I have explained what the problem is. He's broken some of my possessions and complained when I asked to be payed for them, he's constantly on drugs, refuses to clean up after himself and uses my things without asking. We've had meetings about it but he hasn't changed his behaviour
    Why don't the others want to kick him out then? Why can't you simply move to a different place?
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    If its as bad as yous say then tell the household and the "****" that hes walking on thin ice. If he breaks a certain agreement once more he gets the boot. Or personally be straight witht the guy and tell him hes pissing you off and stick to his own ****.
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    I think you're just upset at the fact the only friends you have picked him over you.

    Just because he does have other people he could live with, doesn't mean he should have to just so you have somewhere to live.

    It's a rubbish situation to be in, and yeah, I can see why you're upset, but you don't have a right to those 4 people, you don't get to decide that you're living with them, so he needs to find somewhere else. Honestly I'd just suggest you either put up with him, or resign yourself to living at home.

    You said you were in societies, how have you not got other friends through those?
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    You've issued an ultimatum, they've decided to have him around. You either need to try and settle your differences or find somewhere else to live. Whether he has other friends offering him somewhere to live or not is irrelevant, your current housemates have chosen as a group that they want him to stay. You can be upset about them making this decision, but it's not going to achieve a lot for you.
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    The only thing is, im finding it hard to believe that if all the things youve said this guy has done and that its true. The reason i have doubts is that your mates in the house must agree with you or have the same thoughts but they dont. I think its a personal hate for the guy/girl
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    (Original post by Tubbz)
    I think you're just upset at the fact the only friends you have picked him over you.

    Just because he does have other people he could live with, doesn't mean he should have to just so you have somewhere to live.

    It's a rubbish situation to be in, and yeah, I can see why you're upset, but you don't have a right to those 4 people, you don't get to decide that you're living with them, so he needs to find somewhere else. Honestly I'd just suggest you either put up with him, or resign yourself to living at home.

    You said you were in societies, how have you not got other friends through those?
    I'm not really close enough with people in the societies to ask to live with them
 
 
 
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