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He smashed his glass table because he was mad at me watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i went to visit my boyfriend after two weeks of not seeing him as he was out of town for work. Yesterday I went to see him and he had been an ******* to me all day, we fell asleep, woke up this morning and he was still being snarky he called me stupid, long story short. I couldn't take it anymore and called for a ride home.

    He snapped got so mad at me for going home, told me to call them back so I could stay, I refused I just wanted out of there. He kept hollering and hollering at me and punched the glass table and it shattered.

    My question is, did I over react? Should I have not called for a ride home- he said I should of just told him to stop he was being an ******* and he would've stopped. Should I have just spoke to him and not called for a ride home? He said what I did is so childish that I just need to talk to him about it and let it be solved that way instead of running away.

    He said he was giving me attitude because I wasn't being affectionate after two weeks of not seeing him.
    Seeing as you didn't even try to be diplomatic with him or give him a chance to stop what he was doing, I'd say you're the one in the wrong here. All you had to do was tell him to stop being snarky and I'm sure he would have done so. Instead, as your first reaction was to get up and leave, you escalated the situation unnecessarily. It doesn't take a genius to realise that people get stressed and easily wound up after a long time at work - I'm assuming this isn't his usual behaviour, otherwise you wouldn't be with him. It doesn't really help his case that he called you childish when he's the one who broke the table, but at the very least you should have been understanding enough to recognise that he's probably had a tough time at work and been missing you. You only made it worse by being so impatient with him that you would rather leave than ask him to apologise. When people are angry, antagonising or arguing with them only makes it worse, and that's exactly what happened. All you need to do is give them a little bit of time to cool down and realise what they've done wrong. If you had the patience to do that for him, I'm sure he would have apologised. I don't agree with him breaking the table, but I can see how all this could have been avoided if you weren't so impatient.

    Also, he broke the table but I'm assuming he didn't hit you - so you can ignore all that BS about physical abuse that's been written above.
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    (Original post by asif007)
    Seeing as you didn't even try to be diplomatic with him or give him a chance to stop what he was doing, I'd say you're the one in the wrong here. All you had to do was tell him to stop being snarky and I'm sure he would have done so. Instead, as your first reaction was to get up and leave, you escalated the situation unnecessarily. It doesn't take a genius to realise that people get stressed and easily wound up after a long time at work - I'm assuming this isn't his usual behaviour, otherwise you wouldn't be with him. It doesn't really help his case that he called you childish when he's the one who broke the table, but at the very least you should have been understanding enough to recognise that he's probably had a tough time at work and been missing you. You only made it worse by being so impatient with him that you would rather leave than ask him to apologise. When people are angry, antagonising or arguing with them only makes it worse, and that's exactly what happened. All you need to do is give them a little bit of time to cool down and realise what they've done wrong. If you had the patience to do that for him, I'm sure he would have apologised. I don't agree with him breaking the table, but I can see how all this could have been avoided if you weren't so impatient.

    Also, he broke the table but I'm assuming he didn't hit you - so you can ignore all that BS about physical abuse that's been written above.
    The day before I left his house, he had started this attitude in text message, he got upset because I missed his called I apologized for missing his called and asked what was wrong because I noticed his attitude changing and he just said he needed my attention.

    I get to his house and same thing NOT once when when he was being mean and giving me attitude did I argue with him or antagonized him. I was calm, he got mad because I wouldn't change my mind and stay. Mind you the day I came over I actually did tell him to relax with the attitude.

    I decided to leave because he called me ****ing stupid. I had offered some of my juice, went to get a cup to pour it in but all the dishes were and he was like there's no cups when he realized why I went into the kitchen and as I was walking back in his room I heard him call me " ****ing stupid".
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    (Original post by asif007)
    Seeing as you didn't even try to be diplomatic with him or give him a chance to stop what he was doing, I'd say you're the one in the wrong here. All you had to do was tell him to stop being snarky and I'm sure he would have done so. Instead, as your first reaction was to get up and leave, you escalated the situation unnecessarily. It doesn't take a genius to realise that people get stressed and easily wound up after a long time at work - I'm assuming this isn't his usual behaviour, otherwise you wouldn't be with him. It doesn't really help his case that he called you childish when he's the one who broke the table, but at the very least you should have been understanding enough to recognise that he's probably had a tough time at work and been missing you. You only made it worse by being so impatient with him that you would rather leave than ask him to apologise. When people are angry, antagonising or arguing with them only makes it worse, and that's exactly what happened. All you need to do is give them a little bit of time to cool down and realise what they've done wrong. If you had the patience to do that for him, I'm sure he would have apologised. I don't agree with him breaking the table, but I can see how all this could have been avoided if you weren't so impatient.

    Also, he broke the table but I'm assuming he didn't hit you - so you can ignore all that BS about physical abuse that's been written above.
    Don't be thick. Threatening someone by doing stuff like breaking tables IS also physical abuse. :rolleyes: Maybe you didn't see the stuff from a DV charity I posted? Because they all say the same thing on this :fyi: I suppose you think you know more than experts on this subject, just ****ing lmao.

    OP glad to see you're realising this isn't right and also called out this post. :yep:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The day before I left his house, he had started this attitude in text message, he got upset because I missed his called I apologized for missing his called and asked what was wrong because I noticed his attitude changing and he just said he needed my attention.

    I get to his house and same thing NOT once when when he was being mean and giving me attitude did I argue with him or antagonized him. I was calm, he got mad because I wouldn't change my mind and stay. Mind you the day I came over I actually did tell him to relax with the attitude.

    I decided to leave because he called me ****ing stupid. I had offered some of my juice, went to get a cup to pour it in but all the dishes were and he was like there's no cups when he realized why I went into the kitchen and as I was walking back in his room I heard him call me " ****ing stupid".
    TBH I have no sympathy because you sound really immature trying to use his petty behaviour as an excuse for you to leave rather than just ignore him and be civil. People do things that are out of character when they are stressed, but what I don't understand is why your patience with him didn't last very long when he is someone you apparently care about. People in relationships endure years of BS, and you couldn't be patient with him for one day? If he didn't listen the first time when you told him to relax, you should have told him again instead of immediately getting up to leave. I think you're the one who owes him an apology.
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    (Original post by PrinceHarrys)
    Don't be thick. Threatening someone by doing stuff like breaking tables IS also physical abuse. :rolleyes: Maybe you didn't see the stuff from a DV charity I posted? Because they all say the same thing on this :fyi: I suppose you think you know more than experts on this subject, just ****ing lmao.

    OP glad to see you're realising this isn't right and also called out this post. :yep:
    Haha you're a joker. The guy was hardly threatening her to stay. He was angry at her leaving so quickly, so he smashed a table. Childish tantrum - big deal. What's even more childish and immature is validating his anger and giving him a reason to get even more angry by leaving instead of ignoring him like a rational person would.
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    'Giving him a reason to get more angry'. Are you implying here that he has no free will and that she is the cause of him being angry?
    Everyone gets stressed at some point, but, they don't display that anger by smashing glass tables. So, which is he, a petulant child or a grown man? He is a grown man who is unable to control his anger. He has the potential to be an abuser simply because he can't control that anger.
    A punch to the door/wall, a quick shove, banging his fist on a table out of frustration. That's where it starts.
    I lost count of the number of times I spent in A&E with my daughter who is now 44. Black eyes, broken arms, dislocated shoulders - and it all starts with a punch to the wall, or the door. It escalates very quickly to emotional physical and verbal abuse to not even needing an excuse.
    You have absolutely no idea how domestic violence works. Laying the blame at the victim's door and not the perpetrator is a dangerous road to go down, and clearly shows that you need more education in that area.
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    (Original post by asif007)
    Seeing as you didn't even try to be diplomatic with him or give him a chance to stop what he was doing, I'd say you're the one in the wrong here. All you had to do was tell him to stop being snarky and I'm sure he would have done so. Instead, as your first reaction was to get up and leave, you escalated the situation unnecessarily. It doesn't take a genius to realise that people get stressed and easily wound up after a long time at work - I'm assuming this isn't his usual behaviour, otherwise you wouldn't be with him. It doesn't really help his case that he called you childish when he's the one who broke the table, but at the very least you should have been understanding enough to recognise that he's probably had a tough time at work and been missing you. You only made it worse by being so impatient with him that you would rather leave than ask him to apologise. When people are angry, antagonising or arguing with them only makes it worse, and that's exactly what happened. All you need to do is give them a little bit of time to cool down and realise what they've done wrong. If you had the patience to do that for him, I'm sure he would have apologised. I don't agree with him breaking the table, but I can see how all this could have been avoided if you weren't so impatient.

    Also, he broke the table but I'm assuming he didn't hit you - so you can ignore all that BS about physical abuse that's been written above.
    (Original post by asif007)
    TBH I have no sympathy because you sound really immature trying to use his petty behaviour as an excuse for you to leave rather than just ignore him and be civil. People do things that are out of character when they are stressed, but what I don't understand is why your patience with him didn't last very long when he is someone you apparently care about. People in relationships endure years of BS, and you couldn't be patient with him for one day? If he didn't listen the first time when you told him to relax, you should have told him again instead of immediately getting up to leave. I think you're the one who owes him an apology.
    (Original post by asif007)
    Haha you're a joker. The guy was hardly threatening her to stay. He was angry at her leaving so quickly, so he smashed a table. Childish tantrum - big deal. What's even more childish and immature is validating his anger and giving him a reason to get even more angry by leaving instead of ignoring him like a rational person would.
    You lot need to read the following replies:


    (Original post by PrinceHarrys)
    Don't be thick. Threatening someone by doing stuff like breaking tables IS also physical abuse. :rolleyes: Maybe you didn't see the stuff from a DV charity I posted? Because they all say the same thing on this :fyi: I suppose you think you know more than experts on this subject, just ****ing lmao.

    OP glad to see you're realising this isn't right and also called out this post. :yep:
    And


    (Original post by Seamus123)
    'Giving him a reason to get more angry'. Are you implying here that he has no free will and that she is the cause of him being angry?
    Everyone gets stressed at some point, but, they don't display that anger by smashing glass tables. So, which is he, a petulant child or a grown man? He is a grown man who is unable to control his anger. He has the potential to be an abuser simply because he can't control that anger.
    A punch to the door/wall, a quick shove, banging his fist on a table out of frustration. That's where it starts.
    I lost count of the number of times I spent in A&E with my daughter who is now 44. Black eyes, broken arms, dislocated shoulders - and it all starts with a punch to the wall, or the door. It escalates very quickly to emotional physical and verbal abuse to not even needing an excuse.
    You have absolutely no idea how domestic violence works. Laying the blame at the victim's door and not the perpetrator is a dangerous road to go down, and clearly shows that you need more education in that area.
    Thank you.
    Seamus123 I am very sorry about what your daughter has been through. I hope things are better now :console:
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    (Original post by starfab)
    You lot need to read the following replies:




    And




    Thank you.
    Seamus123 I am very sorry about what your daughter has been through. I hope things are better now :console:
    I'm afraid she still suffers the consequences as its been over 20 years now. This is the legacy of domestic violence. "But I was angry and had a bad day at work", "it's all your fault, you made me do it", and these are NOT reasons, they are excuses.
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    It's a really sort move between a man breaking things in the house in anger and turning the violence on you. This is an early warning sign of domestic violence and you should get out now. You did nothing wrong by calling for a ride home, you were trying to deescalate the situation. It's also pretty normal for perpetrators of violence to blame the victim and that's why he's blaming you for calling a ride home instead of immediately admitting that smashing a glass table was completely out of order.

    You sound like a smart girl, so make the right choice and don't go back there. You can do much better.

    Edit: and seriously, pay no attention to the posts telling you that you were immature for walking out and not being diplomatic. You're not the one who broke the table... Some people are ridiculous.
 
 
 
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