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Guys, would you date a successful woman with much better job than you? watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Like amazing Amy driven and focused on gone girl?
    I have no idea what those things are.
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    I wouldn't want a relationship with someone who was at a vastly more advanced stage in their career, particularly if we worked in the same field. This is because my innate competitiveness would come in and try to make myself compare all of my achievements to hers. I don't see this underlying jealousy as being healthy in the long run, regardless of the financial stability.

    I personally feel that having a couple with similar levels of career progression, or two radically different career fields that are beyond comparison, would be the healthiest option. This allows each person to support the other without them feeling resentful or bitter towards them.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Btw I'm very feminine and definitely not a feminist or bossy. I actually let the men in my life take the lead. But One thing I've noticed is that my Boyfriends in my life have been very jealous and insecure of my success.

    I'm 26 now. I have had a better paid job and more successful career than most of them and being much younger.

    But I can’t get over the number of guys I’ve dated who as soon as I had some good news to share, met me with dismissal as they casually reminded me of their annual salary or made a comment downplaying how my success was pure luck, because it couldn’t possibly be through any skill of my own. It's like they resented my success.
    I'm in a similar position as you OP. I'm 26, flying in a great career and just got on the property ladder earlier this year. A lot of guys like it, within the sense that they are happy for me to be succeeding, but yes, it does remind them about how far they are not going.

    I have dated guys who earn less than me, being plumbers, doing bar work, from a call center etc..and it never bothered me as much as it bothered them. It seems like they are embarrassed that they can't afford far away holidays or expensive places to eat. I have personally never asked them to, eg. with my boyfriend now, we are planning a trip to Thailand (for his friends wedding), and I will wait until he saves up enough money, so we can book together - even though flights are cheaper now. I would never ever make him feel bad about it.

    When his car was having trouble, I loaned him some money for a tyre and he beat himself up about it, how he shouldn't be asking me for money, that it should be the "other way around" ..?! Sorry but there is no right or wrong way around - help where you can, give where you can. There have been some times where I have forgotten my card at home (if I have changed purses) and he has paid for me...and he feels so happy paying for me, he feels like a man? I don't really understand. Even little things like going to Tesco, he will want to buy sweets and make a point of paying me back £1, so that he knows he isn't borrowing money from me.

    What I don't understand is the double standard. On one hand, guys complain about women being gold diggers, they are in it for the money, women should pay for themselves blah blah..and as soon as we can look after ourselves, the tables are turned, and men don't feel needed and don't feel like men, then it's a problem.
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    No problem at all the important thing is you like them and wnat to spend time with them. You'd be a very small and insecure person if you couldnt be happy for the success of someone you professed to care about.
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    hey can I ask how much you get paid and how come you go for such older guys
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    As long as she ****ing pays...
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    Not sure about what guys want but If I was earning more money it would matter less to me what job he had or his income because I'd be earning it so his income would not be very important lol. The main thing I need in a man really is for him to be open minded ie to accept me as I am rather than criticising my faults or calling me odd. It's good when someone can see the different sides to an issue and be relaxed in a discussion rather than being overpowering and getting annoyed when his ideas are challenged. I dont know if this comes down more to personality or education but I need someone to be open minded rather than telling me I'm abnormal, in order to get on with them as I can be quite odd lol.
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    Sounds like a perfect woman to me. I do prefer to take the lead in a relationship but I'm not intimidated by a woman's success. I 'm confident enough to take the lead no matter what her job is.

    Don't expect me to be all that interest in your career though. Nothing worse than people who bore on about their work imo.
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    I'd have no problem with it.... however I did have one ex who was rather critical of my own career and money earning.....

    Otherwise I couldn't really give a bugger how much my partner earned.
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    The problem were be more if she were the type that were too snobby to date me. Yeah, if she was attractive, and pleasant, hell yes.
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    Only insecure guys would mind. What do people mean by a man taking the lead in a relationship exactly ?
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    I wouldn't have a problem with it. I keep work separate from home life as much as possible and I'm much happier that way!
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    If his ego is that fragile then he's probably not worth your time anyway.

    I ended up in the same position as you and it ended because he couldn't handle me earning more, wouldn't accept any money, and we couldn't do nice things because his ego meant he got all worked up when I paid.
 
 
 
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