From how you have described her I would say leave her. To react like the way she did with her friend who had broken up with her boyfriend is just nasty. Either that or she has some sort of undiagnosed condition like Psychopath, where people are incapable of feeling empathy for someone else. The very fact that you have only been in a relationship with her for two months, yet already there are major issues speaks volumes . Be nice to her about it ,but move on with your life. P.S. Do you know for a fact her previous relationship lasted for four years or is that just what she has told you? Pity you can't find out who he is and contact him in some way. I bet he'd have a thing or two to tell you.
Turn on thread page Beta
Am I the reason/to blame for my girlfriends poor behaviour? watch
Last edited by markova21; 09-11-2016 at 18:02.
- 09-11-2016 18:01
- 09-11-2016 20:20
she sounds like a bish, sorry for being this blunt but you should date someone who's more warmhearted
- 09-11-2016 20:39
Psycho ***** alert.
and NO it's not your fault.
- Thread Starter
(Original post by markova21)
- 09-11-2016 21:21
P.S. Do you know for a fact her previous relationship lasted for four years or is that just what she has told you? Pity you can't find out who he is and contact him in some way. I bet he'd have a thing or two to tell you.
I do know who he is, but I don't really want to get him involved in this. She told me that he had stalked my sociale media profiles.
The whole thing about the earlier relationship is actually one of the key reasons why this bothers me so much. I knew her when she was in this earlier relationship and what they portrayed on social media looked like it was a successfull one (I know never to trust social media, but still).
It tears me apart that she had a four year relationship (which apparently was successfull) and I can't even make it past two months. To me this screams that I am the one at fault, that the demise of this relationship is somehow caused by me. That I am wrong/doing something wrong in some sense. Does this make sense? I apologize for any misspelling; English is not my native language.
Thanks for all of your input so far, everybody.Last edited by throwaway241; 09-11-2016 at 22:13.
- 09-11-2016 22:19
yeah she does this because you let her. you sound like a complete beta
man up and get your balls back from her!
- 09-11-2016 22:24
In my opinion leave b4 u RIP
(Original post by throwaway241)
- 10-11-2016 04:28
- She looks through my phone (texts, call log, apps). She 'only' did this once or twice, but I guess that doesn't make it less wrong.
- She texted a female friends from my phone, asking whether she and I had had sex.
- She calls my female friends '*****es' and 'hoes'.
- Whenever she has the opportunity, she makes fun of and laugh at people behind their backs for any given reason. This seems to be especially prevailing when the 'victim' has had something bad/unlucky happen to them. To give you an example: She laughed at a friend of hers behind her back, because the friend was devastated that her boyfriend had just broken up with her.
- She is sometimes demeaning towards me; saying that I shouldn't bother working out, because I'm not the 'bodybuilding type of guy' and laughing at me, if I am nearing a deadline at university and hasn't finished yet instead of supporting me. Wheneever she does this and I point out that her sarcastic ways doesn't make things better, she claims she was just joking.
- Her inappropriate jokes also contains passive-agressive threats at times: She would tell me that we'll never see each other again and when I don't answer she will claim she was joking.
- Whenever I do spend time with the afore-mentioned female friends, she asks how 'our date' went. I'm sure she would say she is saying it as a joke, but I percieve it otherwise.
- She only has one real friend besides her little sister. I'm starting to think that she may have pushed her friends away aswell if she behaved the same way with them.
I could use some input on this. What are your thoughts?
Before I left sixth form this year for exams & uni, some people who help abuse victims on a regular basis came in to school to talk to us about abusive relationships so that we could recognise warning signs and get help before it got serious. This girl sounds extremely manipulative and like a typical emotional abuser... don't fall for the gifts. They're just a con to keep you 'happy' and make you think that you owe her.
The fact that you guys got into a relationship so quickly after her previous one isn't good either. She didn't have enough time to get over it especially considering it was for 4 long years! You don't just get over a 4 year relationship in two weeks.
(Original post by throwaway241)
The whole thing about the earlier relationship is actually one of the key reasons why this bothers me so much. I knew her when she was in this earlier relationship and what they portrayed on social media looked like it was a successful one (I know never to trust social media, but still).
It tears me apart that she had a four year relationship (which apparently was successfull) and I can't even make it past two months. To me this screams that I am the one at fault, that the demise of this relationship is somehow caused by me. That I am wrong/doing something wrong in some sense. Does this make sense? ...
Every relationship is different, you can't just compare them like that. Time is nothing. It's about what the individuals feel and do with that time.
- 10-11-2016 08:12
Oh man, she's a terrible person. The bad habits she does outweighs the good... Please tell her that you will leave her and if she ask why tell her the things you said in this forum. If she'll take it as an awakening call give her another chance. But if she'll be a ***** about it walk away.. just walk away. At least that's what I'll do in your situation, given the fact that I'm morally sound. Talk to her about it. Don't argue.Last edited by decisivegregg; 10-11-2016 at 08:14. Reason: provided a useful link to save the guy from the situation
- 10-11-2016 08:16
sounds like she has a troubled background mate. from what you have told us i'd say it isn't you at all. you just need to decide whether this is somebody you can stay with and accept that she may have a few issues or whether you should move on
- 10-11-2016 09:12
dude she sounds crazyyy
- Section Leader
- 10-11-2016 09:31
You're not to blame for her trust issues - if anything I think you've been too accommodating of them. Relationships aren't a charity - they only work when both people respect each other. If you're not happy with the balance then in my opinion you should leave.
- 10-11-2016 11:20
Every point you've made just says that she's incredibly insecure in herself and drags other people down to deal with it. You have to ask yourself if you like her enough to put up with all of that. Especially because those issues are absolutely not going to go away, because they're a part of her personality.
Also, 'she is great other times' isn't an excuse for anything. Even the most psycho violent manipulative people have good days.