Sorry you're going through this my love. Like you, I found out I liked women through a teacher, oops. But similarly, I've had an experience where I got weird vibes that a teacher just did not like me and I didn't know why. I could be quiet or loud, I could write a good essay or not hand it in at all, she really seemed to dislike me. But then she'd do weird things like ask me in-depth questions about how my health condition was (we suffered from the same one), or about if I'd seen X band live before. But then she'd go back to treating me weirdly. I know she wasn't jealous because..why would a teacher envy a teenage student, but I understand what you're saying, it was a similar sort of vibe to when somebody is jealous of you.
Is freshers still worth it?