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Girlfriend/boyfriend Stealer watch

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    But have you also noticed that when so called stealers go after an attached person they always go on about how their present g/bf is mad/too possessive/treats them like ****? Yet again, the cheater never gets the blame...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :ditto: it gets really annoying when they try to act innocent.
    She used to say to me how happy she was for us and she used to talk to my boyfriend online and tell him to come round to our house (we were housemates) to see me. She wanted it to be a surprise of course so she wouldn't tell me she'd invited him and when he got here she'd start coming on to him. It was great how pissed off she'd get when he'd just come up to my room instead.
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    (Original post by clyn)
    0o0o0o0o0oh, beans! what did you do?
    Lol what? This friend is no longer a friend and luckily she moved out of my house too. I don't see her anymore apart from in clubs when I see her trying to grope my boyfriend. She always asks him if he's finished with me yet :rolleyes:
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    God there's some nasty girls out there isnt there :eek:
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    (Original post by CheesyBeans)
    She used to say to me how happy she was for us and she used to talk to my boyfriend online and tell him to come round to our house (we were housemates) to see me. She wanted it to be a surprise of course so she wouldn't tell me she'd invited him and when he got here she'd start coming on to him. It was great how pissed off she'd get when he'd just come up to my room instead.
    Know exactly how u feel! with my so called "friend" went out her way to find his msn and start flirting and at the same time talk to me on the other convo on how nice he is. Then he would tell me everything shes said and then she got annoyed when he didn't flirt back and said his only interested in me :love:

    edit: oopsy. im Annoymous User #4 :p: i think she comes on this forum :ninja:
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    (Original post by Chumbaniya)
    You can't steal something from someone if it wasn't theirs in the first place! :p:

    It's not your fault that your boyfriend liked you rather than your friend, and I don't think you've got any grounds for feeling bad at all. I guess maybe it's a little annoying for your friend but when you consider the fact she wouldn't have got with him even if he hadn't liked you, you've not made the situation any worse for her.
    That's good to hear.
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    I once had a friend who actually complained TO ME that my BF was rude cos he didnt tell her she was attractive.
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    (Original post by SketchyCanvas~)
    Know exactly how u feel! with my so called "friend" went out her way to find his msn and start flirting and at the same time talk to me on the other convo on how nice he is. Then he would tell me everything shes said and then she got annoyed when he didn't flirt back and said his only interested in me :love:

    edit: oopsy. im Annoymous User #4 :p: i think she comes on this forum :ninja:
    My "friend" was the same. One minute she'd be telling me how nice he was and then suddenly he was a ******** that she never wanted to talk to again. Of course all the times he was a ******** were the times when he'd turned her down.
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    I had someone try, but luckily my boyfriend only had eyes for me.
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    (Original post by CheesyBeans)
    My "friend" was the same. One minute she'd be telling me how nice he was and then suddenly he was a ******** that she never wanted to talk to again. Of course all the times he was a ******** were the times when he'd turned her down.
    Haha same! i once came online when my bf was online and she was too. Suddenly i get a quick msg frm her saying 'ur bf is a ****!' found out from him that she was saying that cos he turned her down too.
    Guess it gets you really angry but mostly sad as well to find your "friend" doing that. Especially my "friend" ive known for 3/4 of my life! it was slightly hard to avoid her and not consider her as a friend anymore cos what she did.
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    This sounds really strange, but what is the problem with your boyfriend/girlfriend going with someone else if you don't know about it and it's only a one night stand?
    Having sex with them is really not that special... it's not the emotional connection that a relationship is.

    If my boyfriend went with someone else while he was with me I'd be pissed off , but only on principle because I know that I should be annoyed.
    I'd dump him, most likely, but for the pure reason that society states that I should and not that I felt particularly upset about it.

    Thoughts?
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    (Original post by SketchyCanvas~)
    Haha same! i once came online when my bf was online and she was too. Suddenly i get a quick msg frm her saying 'ur bf is a ****!' found out from him that she was saying that cos he turned her down too.
    Guess it gets you really angry but mostly sad as well to find your "friend" doing that. Especially my "friend" ive known for 3/4 of my life! it was slightly hard to avoid her and not consider her as a friend anymore cos what she did.
    To be honest I wasn't really that surprised that my friend/housemate kept trying it on with my boyfriend because that's her all over. I used to have to put up with her bringing various guys home after nights out. She would have sex with them because she thought it would make guys like her and girls jealous of her. It didn't work because she just got a reputation for being easy. She used to talk to me about this guy she liked at home. He was her friends boyfriend but she really liked him and got really upset when people told her that she shouldn't try it on with him. I kinda figured she'd try it on with mine too and I find it hilarious that she still tries now.
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    I'm, amazingly enough, starting to understand why some people might cheat as a one-off - I can't, however, understand why someone would cheat on a longterm basis.

    So in the end, you can't "steal" someone - they have to actively choose to be with you. And if they're committed to you in the first place, they quite simply can't be stolen. And if they chose to be with someone else, I guess they simply think the other person would be better suited to them, so not much you can do there really.

    And if you're really committed to your partner, even if you happened to have a crush on someone else, you'd know to control yourself and back off. You can't help how you feel, but you CAN help how you handle it.
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    (Original post by Persuasion)
    This sounds really strange, but what is the problem with your boyfriend/girlfriend going with someone else if you don't know about it and it's only a one night stand?
    Having sex with them is really not that special... it's not the emotional connection that a relationship is.

    If my boyfriend went with someone else while he was with me I'd be pissed off , but only on principle because I know that I should be annoyed.
    I'd dump him, most likely, but for the pure reason that society states that I should and not that I felt particularly upset about it.

    Thoughts?
    Well, I think on the side of the person who cheats - the immense guilt they would feel, the possible chance of it turning into something more than a one night stand and possibly catching some nasty disease, condoms cant always protect from absolutely everything!
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    (Original post by CheesyBeans)
    To be honest I wasn't really that surprised that my friend/housemate kept trying it on with my boyfriend because that's her all over. I used to have to put up with her bringing various guys home after nights out. She would have sex with them because she thought it would make guys like her and girls jealous of her. It didn't work because she just got a reputation for being easy. She used to talk to me about this guy she liked at home. He was her friends boyfriend but she really liked him and got really upset when people told her that she shouldn't try it on with him. I kinda figured she'd try it on with mine too and I find it hilarious that she still tries now.
    Lol well its good that she aint your housemate anymore! With me, i knew she was flirty and liked any friends bfs but i didnt know this much especially being my friend for so long, it can be sad to see that a person you considered to be your best friend, to turn round and do that. Guess it was a blessing in disguise :p: being really sad about it during the time but finally realising whats shes like and in the end, having a great partner who i truly love.
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    ooo and to add to my last post... I think people blame the person doing the 'stealing' more as you've probably known you're friend much longer than you're boyfriend, and it sort of goes against the idea that girls should 'stick together'...
    • #5
    #5

    There's this guy I used to like and one day sent him a message from my sister's aol screen name by mistake. She found the message and took it upon herself to start talking to him and then after a while started telling him she liked him. I started noticing that she kept asking me how he was or how serious we were getting with eachother. I was 16, he was 18 and my sis is 5 years older than me. She met him behind my back and slept with him then started pretending that he loved both of us and had to choose. I found out first from his best friend who had become my friend too and thought he should tell me (they're not friends anymore by the way).

    My sister ended up getting pregnant by him and they split up and he's turned out to be the biggest **** ever! A part of me is glad that he ****ed up her life (and I don't mean in terms of having a baby, my nephew is adorable), yes it's selfish but I prefer to think of it as karma. We never talk about it and I still go out with my sister sometimes and pretend that everything is fine but deep down i'll never trust her.


    Please please do not de-anon mods. There are people I know who use this site.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There's this guy I used to like and one day sent him a message from my sister's aol screen name by mistake. She found the message and took it upon herself to start talking to him and then after a while started telling him she liked him. I started noticing that she kept asking me how he was or how serious we were getting with eachother. I was 16, he was 18 and my sis is 5 years older than me. She met him behind my back and slept with him then started pretending that he loved both of us and had to choose. I found out first from his best friend who had become my friend too and thought he should tell me (they're not friends anymore by the way).

    My sister ended up getting pregnant by him and they split up and he's turned out to be the biggest **** ever! A part of me is glad that he ****ed up her life (and I don't mean in terms of having a baby, my nephew is adorable), yes it's selfish but I prefer to think of it as karma. We never talk about it and I still go out with my sister sometimes and pretend that everything is fine but deep down i'll never trust her.


    Please please do not de-anon mods. There are people I know who use this site.
    :eek: thats so harsh!! But oh well, what goes around comes around!
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    (Original post by Chumbaniya)
    Quite so. To call it stealing implies that the girlfriend or boyfriend is passive in the situation, which is simply not true if they've chosen to leave their partner for someone else. I tend to look on people who go after other peoples' partners as not so much wrong as simply fairly cheeky. If someone else actively persuades your partner to leave you, it shows your partner wasn't committed to you and didn't find you as attractive as the person they left you for, and frankly I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't feel strongly enough about me to want to stay with me when someone else attractive appeared on the scene.

    It's always been my attitude that there's little blame to be placed on someone who 'takes' a partner from you - if there's any blame the majority of it is on your partner, because they're the one who's dumping you because they think they can do better. I always maintain that if another man 'stole' my girlfriend, I'd be angry at her but not at him - evidently he appears to have better qualities than me and blaming him for that would be merely jealousy. It would, of course, be a different situation if he'd been deceitful in the way he portrayed himself and thus falsely made himself seem the better option.
    On every single bloody occasion that a thread such as this crops up, I will contribute words to that effect; no-one ever listens.

    O.P.: No. In fact, a girl I'm dating once consulted me as to whether she 'should' assent to being taken out by a relative stranger (who, it turns out, was besotted with her); much as I predicted, she returned to me soon afterward, and, what's more, secure in the assumption that she wouldn't be selling herself short. Indeed, the fact that I had been sufficiently confident to refrain from prohibiting her (or otherwise sufficiently arrogant to dismiss out-of-hand any 'threat' posed) probably made me all the more appealing.
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    to the OP yes I am sadly guilty of it. I feel guilty everyday even though I love him and he has constantly told me not too. I didn't mean for it to happen and there was noway I would hurt anyone purposefully by doing so. I just followed my heart so..I guess that's what happened.
 
 
 
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