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Girls changing their mind after "pulling" watch

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    (Original post by Dionysus)
    Clubs are crap for starting relationships mate. Most of them just want a snog.
    Yup, a snog and/or just attention. Better off looking elsewhere for a relationship mate.
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    from the stuff you have been saying you sound a bit weird, probably why they leave you. ahaha
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    I have long noticed the tendency that the more the girl goes out, the less stable she is.

    Personally I believe that this type of girls thinks too much about herself and cares very little about others. They get attention from most places they go to. Yes, this will happen to 80% girls, especially in London. On average, a very plain looking girl would expect a random chat-up if she goes out to Central London on a Saturday evening.

    A lot of girls complain about what a playboy someone is. Many of the so called playboys just learnt to move on from the experience OP had been getting in the past. Those girls must get such a big confidence boost after all the texts and attention and reject them all, and then next week they all come again. I am a strong believer in what goes around comes around, though.
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    Dont really think a club is the best place to meet a partner anyway.
    The best I managed with a girl I met in a club was two weeks.
    When you're pissed out of your skull you don't take the practical things into account.
    She was a member of greenpeace, I was a member of the NSRA (national street rod association)
    She refused to drive on "environmental grounds" I drove a 3.5 litre sports car.
    She was a vegetarian and wouldnt have meat in the house. I enjoy chops n' sauce.


    In short, we were completely incompatible.
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    Like it has already been said, clubs are not the best places to find a GF.

    many of the girls are drunk and are out for a good time and sometimes to forget how another bloke has treated them, so they go out with the "girls" for a good time and to have thier ego boosted. when they sober up or sometimes before that, thier minds are on the guy that they already like, hence why they are not interested.

    it is never a good idea to chat up a drunk girl.

    if you meet some girl in the club and you want more than a snog, then just dont snog them. Ask to exchange numbers, then txt her the next day and ask her out for a drink/coffee etc. she will respect you for not trying to grope her/snog her.


    and Jamesn1 - we just grow out of that behaviour LOL!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess that's my problem too. I struggle to see kissing as just a bit of fun, even though I do go out and sometimes will end up kissing a girl. To me, it's still quite an important shared moment.
    Hang on, you're having "important shared moments" with people you've met 1 hour earlier in a club and know nothing about? Are you mental?
    Clubs are not the place to meet people for a relationship, they're places you meet people for a snog and/or a shag. Simple.
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    (Original post by Segat1)
    Hang on, you're having "important shared moments" with people you've met 1 hour earlier in a club and know nothing about?
    Well sorry but yes. I see that as pretty intimate in the same way that I might feel a bit of a connection with someone I have a long conversation with on a train. I might feel like wanting to keep in touch with such a person. That's all. Quite a bit if we only kissed, even more so if more has happened. Sorry if I don't see a kiss in a club as just a way to flatter my ego.

    No, I'm not mental at all. lol. To be honest, I think that kissing/shagging people who you never want to see again, is mental. But then, that's just me.

    (Original post by Jamesn1)
    I have long noticed the tendency that the more the girl goes out, the less stable she is.
    I didn't use to believe that saying, always thinking that all girls must be into going out and meeting people but it does seem true.

    Now to clarify:
    - Most of these girls are not drunk. I'm not particularly interested in drunk girls, I think it's one of the least attractive states a girl can be in.
    - I'm not looking for a girlfriend.
    - Clubs are not just for snogging people who will never want to see again. I worked in a bar in Canada for 3 months and can confidently say that they're a great place to meet people and were designed as such, to socialise. Now I don't deny the fact that more and more people use clubs (the seedier the better) to get the advantages of "meeting" someone (the confidence boost) without actually meeting them. And that's what I'm complaining about.

    (Original post by sawyer)
    from the stuff you have been saying you sound a bit weird, probably why they leave you. ahaha
    at least I get more action than you. Not sure why I bother answering a post from a guy who goes to Leeds Met and probably chose his login after a gay icon.
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    It's always the girls who are in power at the beginning of a relationship for most people - Guys approach girls, buy them drinks, try hard to think about topics to impress and so on.

    When a guy reverses this situation - Either they are equally in power or he does not reply texts like girls normally do at early stage, he is classed as a player.

    Then we get girls complaining about their life and guys both in real life and on the Internet.

    Girls, especially in London, get carried away with the benefits of being in a globalised city - the culture of guys chatting up girls with the success rate of 1/5 or so. I totally understand why OP is unhappy about this situation.
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    (Original post by Jamesn1)
    It's always the girls who are in power at the beginning of a relationship for most people - Guys approach girls, buy them drinks, try hard to think about topics to impress and so on.
    Yeah, but whose fault is this? The irony is that the harder a guy is trying, the less likely he is to have any success. Don't buy drinks, don't take her out to dinner before you know her, don't give her the power in the relationship. Take the piss out of her a bit, tell her to sort herself out if she's unduly rude, make sure she knows that you are assessing her and whether you want to be talking to her (let alone want to hook up with her). Treat her like you would a friend - don't become a weak gibbering mess because she's hot. Since when is being hot enough to make a guy interested? (Well... since forever... but don't let her know that! Also, after a while her looks wouldn't be enough on their own.) Let her know she needs to meet your criteria - not the other way round.

    OP: whilst I can understand your frustration, I seriously think you're fighting a losing battle in wanting a kiss to turn into a relationship of any sort. Things might be different in Canada, but I can assure you that here in England there are going to be plenty of girls out every night who simply want to get off with some guy to boost their egos and never see him again. If you want to keep in touch with girls you meet in clubs, then you need to become more than another dude who is just out to pull. If she starts coming onto you, flirting, touching, kissing, just say to her "stop! - I want to be friends, I want to get to know you better - don't think you can just use me like this!" Now, it's quite a big move for all sorts of reasons. First, you've got a hot girl and you're telling her no. Secondly because I am sure that there will be some girls who will bail at this stage and put you down as 'gay' or a 'loser'. However, it will make some girls go crazy for you: "oh my god, what's WRONG with me? why is he not into me? I have to figure this guy out!" Humans want what they can't have. Get her number, give her a peck on the cheek/lips to say bye and then call her the next day. Add some mystery and you might get what you're after.
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    :ditto:

    He knows his stuff.
    Once you get a bit more experienced, women generally lose the power to render you into putty just by being pretty. There are MILLIONS of beautiful women in this country alone, and some of them aren't worth the time of day.

    Half your problem I think is you are willing to jump on whatever offers you get. Get some self respect. If you want a better chance at getting to know someone beyond that club, letting them use you for sex is not the way to do it. Not to mention, that the second you do that, you become just another idiot who bought them drinks like all the others.

    It's a strange circle, but once you get more experience you get more self respect and don't just lap-dog every female who shows an interest. Once you stop lap-dogging you get more interest, which gets you more experience. You have to jump yourself in there somewhere and stop being a pushover for anything in a skirt. Women are just like you, they want love, they want sex and they want validation. If you're that easy, why are you worth their time?
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    I totally agree with the mystery stuff, it drives them WILD. I personally do it to girls who are players (turn the tables, have a bit of a laugh at their expense instead of the other way round) and make friends with the nice girls. A relationship or whatever will just happen at some point I don't care about right now...Be casual and laid back around these girls, then you can force them to show their hand so to speak.
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    I totally agree with the mystery stuff, it drives them WILD. I personally do it to girls who are players (turn the tables, have a bit of a laugh at their expense instead of the other way round) and make friends with the nice girls. A relationship or whatever will just happen at some point I don't care about right now...Be casual and laid back around these girls, then you can force them to show their hand so to speak.
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    (Original post by DodgyTrousers)
    :ditto:

    He knows his stuff.
    Once you get a bit more experienced, women generally lose the power to render you into putty just by being pretty. There are MILLIONS of beautiful women in this country alone, and some of them aren't worth the time of day.

    Half your problem I think is you are willing to jump on whatever offers you get. Get some self respect. If you want a better chance at getting to know someone beyond that club, letting them use you for sex is not the way to do it. Not to mention, that the second you do that, you become just another idiot who bought them drinks like all the others.

    It's a strange circle, but once you get more experience you get more self respect and don't just lap-dog every female who shows an interest. Once you stop lap-dogging you get more interest, which gets you more experience. You have to jump yourself in there somewhere and stop being a pushover for anything in a skirt. Women are just like you, they want love, they want sex and they want validation. If you're that easy, why are you worth their time?
    I think you misread/misinterpreted (or didn't read) my posts. I'm actually very picky and particular about which girl I approach. It's certainly not about "being a pushover for anything in a skirt". I regularly turn down girls who approach me, if they're not my type.

    I'm also quite an experienced guy when it comes to the seduction game. This might sound pretentious but I know all the rules, all the tricks of the trade (I will however admit that I'm crap at relationships). That's not really an issue: of course if you go around acting like you're not really into anyone, then girls love that. You're a challenge, you're mysterious. It's worked great for me on many occasions because I actually told myself that I deserve such a girl and if I don't get her, it's no big loss but you actually have to believe it.

    There are many girls who if I pull, I just think "great stuff but if she disappears in the next minute, I'm not going to be too bothered" but then there are some girls who make me think "****, this girl is smoking. If I was told I had to marry her the next day, then I might actually consider it". To the guys who claim that that's totally nuts (and in a way it is), if Angelina Jolie or Eva Longoria knocked on their door and asked them to marry them, I'm not sure how many would actually turn the offer down, no matter how unrealistic the situation is. Although it would be great to simply act like every girl is just "another girl", every guy has a limit where he actually genuinely desires a girl and loses control somewhat.

    I totally agree with the strategy of not really showing much interest in girls, messing around with them. Of course if you lay out the bait that way for 50 girls and you're lucky, maybe 5 will bite but to me, that's just playing the number game: if the first girl says no, move on to the next... which I really struggle with. Call me crazy but if I meet a girl I find amazingly interesting and hot, then that's me gone for the whole evening. It's probably where my problem lies and how I set myself up for disappointment because I'm relying on just one girl being potentially as interested as I am. It's also probably linked to my character: if I want something or aim for something, I rarely give up easily.

    I think this thread has kind of diverged from the initial problem anyway. I was complaining more about the fact that there are so many girls out there who are "flaky", who are single but aren't really, are interested one minute and not the next. It genuinely is hard (as far as I can tell) to just go out, have a good time and meet a girl who is single, attractive and has no baggage (i.e. some messed-up pseudo-relationship which is kind of stopping her from meeting people properly and getting to know them).

    Maybe I'm just unlucky or am attracted to such girls but out of all the girls I've met in the last, say 5 years, in clubs, about 4/5 have been in a "complicated situation", not quite single, not quite taken. They're just out for a little ego boost and can't allow themselves to get to know anyone properly because they're not really available. Sure if you sweep a girl off her feet, it doesn't really matter what her relationship status is, but it just makes things so much harder.

    This is more a rant about the way people are with relationships. In the Western world, there's a lucky minority in happy, stable relationships that're content in and then there's just a whole load of people for whom their relationship status is just a mess, not really being able to get to know people. They're not really in a relationship but they still want one, but because of their messed-up relationship status, they can't really allow themselves so much.
    This is also why I'm against the whole "****buddy" concept, or at least I believe it's something to be careful with.

    (Original post by Jamesn1)
    Girls, especially in London, get carried away with the benefits of being in a globalised city - the culture of guys chatting up girls with the success rate of 1/5 or so. I totally understand why OP is unhappy about this situation.
    It's reassuring to know that you actually understand what I mean.
 
 
 
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