He won't come out. Watch

north bank gooner
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#21
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#21
Maybe he's just really lazy? I'm like that sometimes
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Innuendo_anonymous
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#22
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#22
(Original post by Somewhat Damaged)
Maybe, JUST MAYBE, he has an anxiety/social problem? :rolleyes:
Yeah thats quite probable. I always get nervous before going to a party or something, but once I'm there and got talking a bit i'm fine
Just tell him he'll feel much better once he's there.

Then again he could just be anti-social:rolleyes:
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tink6921
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#23
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#23
Lol, your replies have been really helpful btw

He knows my mates and gets on with them well, but he's got to remember that I made an effort when we first got together with his friends. I used to go hang out with them, even if he wasn't there so I'd fit in. But now they've all gone to uni so it's not the same anymore.

It's a tricky situation, especially with my 18th round the corner. He let me down on my 17th, im scared he'll do the same on my 18th.
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Somewhat Damaged
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#24
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#24
I've got social&anxiety problems.

I don't like to go places other then places I decide, because it's a comfort and security thing for me.

So going to yours friends houses, going to a party you've invited him to, or someone else has. Could be daunting for him, and it'd be a straight flat out "no." etc.

Just bring up your 18th to him, if that's your major worry, see what he says, and tell him it really would mean alot to you if he would go.
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Sanity Panda
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#25
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#25
No way. You'll be fine on your 18th

It'll show how much he really cares if he doesn't turn up on your 18th, there'd have to be a pretty damn good reason. He'll be there for sure.
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Blue Rose
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#26
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#26
Maybe he's agoraphobic.
Have you asked him what's wrong?
And where is it that you ask him to go? Maybe that's not what he likes. Maybe he'd like to go somewhere else. Or is it just generally going out?
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tink6921
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#27
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#27
He best bloody do!
I'll kill him if he doesn't.

I think it's either laziness or a social problem. But he seems fine when he's out.

It's probs laziness.

Boys hey *rolls eyes*
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josepharthur
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#28
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#28
Coming out of where? The closet?
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tink6921
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#29
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#29
This is the thing.
He won't come out because
a- he's tired
b- he can't be arsed
c- he's had a bad day.

i've heard them excuses to many times.

But he was fine going out for his works due the other week, he got steaming and didn't get in til 3/4 in the morning.

Why can't he do that with me?!

I've even told him to invite his own friends along just incase he don't wanna be with my friends. But he doesn't bother.
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theredsox
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#30
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#30
"My Girl" by Madness springs to mind:

My girl's mad at me
I didn't wanna go see the film tonight
I found it hard to say
She thought I'd had enough of her
Why can't she see
She's lovely to me?
But I like to stay in
And watch t.v. on my own
Every now and then
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tink6921
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#31
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#31
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dancingqueen
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#32
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#32
I'd absolutely hate it if my boyfriend was like this- I have loads of friends and am always doing something or other- why should you give up your sociable side for him? To be honest if he doesn't change and insists you stay in with him I'd think about whether you really want to be with him.
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tink6921
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#33
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#33
Yea it's really getting me down.

I was suppose to go out friday with my friends cos I'd had a bit of a s*** week and wanted to let me hair down.

And I'd asked him a few days before if he'd come out and he started moaning, and it upset me so much I didn't go out in the end.
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mermania
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#34
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#34
just go without him
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Rutter knows best!
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#35
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#35
he sounds a catch, don't let him go.
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Phantom Phoenix
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#36
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#36
Maybe:

1) He actually doesn't like your friends that much and would rather stay at home.

2) He's feeling a bit crap since his friends went off to uni and left him alone, and doesn't really want to go out with 'your' friends. You say 'my' friends, not 'ours', so there is obviously a distinction there.

3) He's put on weight or some other thing has happened that's made him shy and not want to go out.

Given that you've been going out two years, I think some more tolerance and actually trying to talk to him about it would be sensible. Why not ask him, not us?
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tink6921
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#37
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#37
(Original post by Phantom Phoenix)
Maybe:

1) He actually doesn't like your friends that much and would rather stay at home.

2) He's feeling a bit crap since his friends went off to uni and left him alone, and doesn't really want to go out with 'your' friends. You say 'my' friends, not 'ours', so there is obviously a distinction there.

3) He's put on weight or some other thing has happened that's made him shy and not want to go out.

Given that you've been going out two years, I think some more tolerance and actually trying to talk to him about it would be sensible. Why not ask him, not us?
I have tried talking to him. He promised me last week that he would come out more.

And yes, they're my friends but he gets on with them really well. Only one of his mates has gone away to uni, the rest are at the same uni as him. But as he doesn't go out anymore he never sees them.
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Phantom Phoenix
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#38
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#38
(Original post by tink6921)
I have tried talking to him. He promised me last week that he would come out more.

And yes, they're my friends but he gets on with them really well. Only one of his mates has gone away to uni, the rest are at the same uni as him. But as he doesn't go out anymore he never sees them.
It doesn't really sound like you've got to the bottom of it, then. If he's previously had a good time with you (and friends) and has suddenly quit seeing his own friends too, then I'd suggest that there's a real problem. Has he shown any signs of depression or low self-confidence, for instance? I find it hard to believe that a previously fun-loving type could suddenly become 'lazy' overnight.

However, I find it hard to suggest what you can do other than talk to him again...but that does carry the problem that (should he not feel like talking about it) he'll feel harrassed and get irritable. But still, you should maybe try at least one more time...wearing a flak jacket, of course.
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tink6921
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#39
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#39
Haha. I know it's really confusing me as well.

I don't want to sound like i'm pestering him, and now the obvious reaction would be to think it's me. Even though he's promised me it's not like that.

It may not be his scene- but that's me talking about going down town. Even if it's just popping over to a mates house he can never be bothered.
I just can't make head or tail of it all tbh.

He never has time for any of his friends anymore either. He'd just rather sit at home and watch tv.
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Titch89
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#40
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#40
(Original post by Phantom Phoenix)
It does sound kind of like depression or something then...
This is what I was thinking.
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