Petrified of talking on the phone! Watch

Drewski
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#21
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#21
You're not alone, I hate them too.
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Fillette
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Hi OP I was exactly the same as you. There were family issues a while back when I was younger, and I was always made to pick up the phone- so I would panic so much in case I said something wrong and upset anyone! For ages I associated phone calls with that sense of panic and couldn't make them. Now I'm over it, thankfully, but sometimes it makes me anxious still that I sometime garble my words quite a bit and sound quite incomprehensible!. As for you, I'd suggest practice speaking in front of the mirror slowly and coherently, and when you hear the phone ring, breathe slowly in and out and asnwer it calmly. Just remember that you should be proud of who you are and where you come from; it's nothing to be ashamed of. If you find you really can't deal with it by yourself, I suggest seeing a counsellor so you can talk through with them why you feel anxious about stuff on a phone call. Good luck
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you everyone :hugs:

Do you think it would be worth talking to a counsellor about this? There is a counselling service at my uni and they are active over the summer I think.
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xSplashx
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#24
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Don't worry OP you are not alone. I used to not be able to ring friends, family, takeaways or make any appointments. I would get so nervous and I planned what I'm going to say about a dozen times before actually calling. I also couldnt even answer the phone if I didn't know for certain who was on the other end. I've improved now so I can just about answer the phone, though I won't if there is someone else in the house. I can ring up people as well though it takes a lot of working up to do.

If you think talking to the counsellor is worth it go for it. For me, my parents started forcing me to call relatives up and then make my own appointments so now I can just about manage. Still scared but its not a phobia any longer. I have to say once I start talking I'm alright. Its just the initial dialling and starting the conversation. I hate talking to strangers on the phone as well.
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Laursy
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#25
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i hate talkin on the phone, to anyone coz i always get paranoid people are there in the background and will laugh at me,

my mobile is forever on silent and hidden so i dunt answer it, (it only rings once a centry anyway)

i prefer text messages as then you don't need to deal with the other persons reaction when u speck to them, at work my bosses boss (the daddio) has said i am moody when i answer the phone so i usaully prtend i can't hear it or walk off and do something else, lol
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Fungrus
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#26
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I too dislike making official phone calls. I agree that having a list of the things you want to say in front of you is a big help. Really the thing is, you're just going to have to take the plunge, and you'll likely find out that you were making a bit of fuss over nothing once you've finished the phone call.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Laursy)

my mobile is forever on silent and hidden so i dunt answer it
Same here. I think people assume I'm being rude
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faber niger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay I know this sounds pathetic compared to some of the problems people post here – but it’s really causing me grief I’m 26 and scared to talk on the phone. The thought of having to call someone makes me feel sick. Today I had to make some appointments but I bottled it

I wouldn’t say I had a speech impediment but I do have a broad northern accent and it embarrasses me (this only got worse when I began attending a ‘posh’ uni where a regional accent is associated with being a chav). My major fear is that the other person cannot understand my accent or cannot hear me. This has happened a few times before and I panicked and hung up. Now the fear has got so bad that I can’t make simple phone calls such as arranging a doctors appointment. Even calling my friends is a scary experience (I have no problems with them face-to-face).

What can I do?
That's a shame. But if it is your accent that is causing you the trouble, it's not hard to change it. Obviously you shouldn't have to change yourself, but if it'll help, I can't see why not.

I used to have a very strong Mancunian accent, but now speak with pretty much Received Pronunciation. I didn't intentionally change it, it just happened as I came to be around people who spoke like this more often. Just listen to Radio 4 and emulate.
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MadMatt
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#29
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I also hate talking on the phone and avoid/put off things that need to be done on the phone for no apparent reason. However, in public it's totally different.
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*titanium*
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When I was younger I would also get nervous on the phone to people I didnt know e.g. phoning to make an apointment somewhere. But just remember that you are safe on the other side of the line. You are scared of stutering and not being understood, but say this does happen, so what? Is the doctors recptionist going to start yelling at you down the phone? Rather than worrying that you will be missunderstood, try to realise that it doesnt matter even if you are misunderstood. If need be phone up a takeaway or something and just stay quiet on the other side of the line, maybe you will feel more calm about it once you can simply hold on on the other side of the line and listen to the other person talk.
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Fillette
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you everyone :hugs:

Do you think it would be worth talking to a counsellor about this? There is a counselling service at my uni and they are active over the summer I think.

Try keeping your mobile on loud volume, and then answer it. If you'er still encountering the same problems, then it would probably be a good idea to see the counsellor, they might help a lot and find the root of the problem
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fire2burn
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#32
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I know how you feel OP, up until the age of 18 or so I was terrified of using the phone. I remember doing work experience in year 10 for an optometrist and for two weeks I refused to answer the phone, got a bad review because of it as well.

It's not quite so bad now as I find it easier to answer calls, still don't like making them though lol. I always find it really difficult to think of things to say on the phone, which makes people think that I'm being rude.
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Ed.
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#33
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I hate the phone - avoid using it whenever possible - even to friends and family members.
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Vampyrcorn
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#34
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I think a lot of people have this fear, don't worry.

What will make it easier (probably) is to plan out and actually write down what you're going to say so it's just like reading a script when you're speaking to them. Also, when you have to make a phone call don't think about it. What I sometimes do is press the numbers and then hang up before pressing the 'call' button on the phone. It's really silly because the more I put it off, the more nervous I get. You just have to dial it and speak on the first attempt, no hesitating.

I'm sure your accent isn't hard for people to understand, just speak slowly. Everyone occasionally has to repeat stuff on the phone - it does'nt mean there's anything wrong with the way you talk.
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MarchOfMephisto
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#35
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I hate ringing people too. Talking on the phone is just horrible. Just try to plan what your going to say, if that's possible and just force yourself to use it.
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Lord Hysteria
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I have a fear of humans. :afraid:
I don't think they understand me, so I stick to my pet rabbit. We get along just fine, in all manners of speaking :hubba:


Spoiler:
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OP - I think you have an irrational fear based on nothing. Go and practise and confront it and get over it
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Jinxy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay I know this sounds pathetic compared to some of the problems people post here – but it’s really causing me grief I’m 26 and scared to talk on the phone. The thought of having to call someone makes me feel sick. Today I had to make some appointments but I bottled it

I wouldn’t say I had a speech impediment but I do have a broad northern accent and it embarrasses me (this only got worse when I began attending a ‘posh’ uni where a regional accent is associated with being a chav). My major fear is that the other person cannot understand my accent or cannot hear me. This has happened a few times before and I panicked and hung up. Now the fear has got so bad that I can’t make simple phone calls such as arranging a doctors appointment. Even calling my friends is a scary experience (I have no problems with them face-to-face).

What can I do?
I know a girl like you, one of my friends. When ever i want to arrange to go out i have to ask her and arrange it on msn because she won't pick up her phone if she can avoid it she absolutely hates it and she works in a library, where she;s meant to answer the phone but when it rings so just runs to a book shelf and busy herself with books so that some one else does it.
Maybe hers is quite extreme but my point is your not the only one.
Maybe try ringing your friends a little more often and then working on other people to get you used to the phone a bit. I'm sure people understand you just speak how you normally speak, obviously people you talk to in real life hear you so it's no different on the phone if anything easier as you don't have to face them.
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Anonymous #2
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I also have a huge fear of talking on the Phone. I always get Mum to call people for me ..
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Silvertongue
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AWWW bless! Don't worry, common problem and it's great that you're fine face to face. Most people hate meeting strangers face to face. But I mean, this is obviously a problem that needs sorting and is only going to get worse when you get older.

Keep in mind that PEOPLE CAN'T SEE AND DON'T KNOW YOU! I know some people can stereotype quite badly, I do it all the time without thinking....maybe you can just practice speaking with received pronunciation? But most people nowadays has an accent so I wouldn't worry too much!

I think you should practice speaking on the phone. Sometimes when I get my words jumbly and I know I am going to when I'm about to make an appointment or something, I write prompty words so a dentist appointment might be:

1) Like appointment at 9 please
2) Address
3) Telephone number
4) Thank you very much

etc etc. It might not help too much but when you have the structure of your phone call, it's better and might give you more confidence? Also, if you're just READING it might seem more natural than when you hesitate and get all shy?

Good luck!
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jenren22
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I used to be like this. But when i had a horse i constantly had to ring farriers/vets etc (she was high maintenance) so i got used to it. Now i'll ring anyone! I always have to know exactly what i'm gonna say though before i ring or i just get nervous!
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