He doesnt see whats wrong ! Watch

Alreeeet
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#21
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#21
(Original post by d0mz)
You don't even know the kid, how can you say he doesnt have any 'redeeming quality'? With regards to the rest of your post, you sound like you'd be the worst mrs ever. If your late, expect me to be pissed off. If you dont want me to be pissed off, don't be late. Being pissed off is not disrespectful, wasting 20 mins of my time waiting for my mrs getting ready is disrespectful.
I do agree here.

I would be annoyed if I had a boyfriend who didn't stick up for me when his mate was obviously upsetting me. However, the fact the evening was started on the wrong foot by you being 20 minutes late makes me feel alot less sympathetic. I mean, he sounds like an arse for not saying anything, but I know I'd feel less inclined to stand up for someone if they'd pissed me off in the first place.

Sorry if that sounded pretty rude, I'm just trying to see both sides of it.
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faber niger
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#22
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He sounds pathetic. Are you sure you want to be with him?
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EskimoJo
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#23
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#23
(Original post by d0mz)
Firstly, I don't think I'm better than any partners I'm ever with. I believe in equality between partners, whats right for one person is right for the other. I just said I don't think he HAS to stick up for her infront of his mates, because then he is taking sides. It's obviously a really uncomfortable situation for him, he doesn't want to be ditched by his mates or his mrs, so it's better for him to just say nothing and just go on about his business. If my mrs is late by 20mins and I'm waiting for her, I'm going to be pissed off, its as simple as that. If I was late by 20mins then she would be pissed off, its all equally relative.
I kinda agree with you.

OP -It all depends on the circumstances as well e.g. where he was waiting for you, if you are often late, what you were actually doing, if you called to let him know you were running late etc.
Mostly lateness is simply slightly annoying, but depending on the circumstances I can completely understand if it makes someone shout (I doubt he was actually screaming) and swear (if they're a sweary type person). And did he really sit in the car telling you off for a few hours? Or are you exaggerating? And if you are, what else have you exaggerated about?

Also, you said you made up? I assume he apologised during this 'make-up'. If so, why is it that you expected him not to take your mistake (lateness) to heart (I assume you also said sorry), but you are taking his mistake (the shouting at you) to heart? He finds lateness irritating, you find shouting at you irritating. Oh well!

Finally, about the not-sticking-up-for-you thing. You've been together 2 years, yet there are only 2 incidents of him not taking your side (and he didn't even take the other person's side, he just kept quiet) - it doesn't seem like that much of a big deal. And if there have been other incidents of this kind, then maybe he's just a bit fed up/uncomfortable with there always/often being some problem between you and the people in his life.

His mate sounds like he needs a kick in the shins, but sometimes there's something about your friend that you know isn't nice, but normally you live with it, but then you take them home or they meet your girl/boyfriend and they do that thing but you can't/are too embarrassed to suddenly call them up on it because you've never done so in the past and it'd be a bit hypocritical. So you keep quiet.
One of my Uni mates is always pretending to be gay and flirting with guys to make them uncomfortable, and if he did that to one of my brothers, I know they wouldn't get it and wouldn't like it. But I'd feel a bit weird asking him not to act himself in front of my brothers or telling him to stop if he did it. I'd probably just keep quiet too and see what happened (however, I'd probably explain to my brothers afterwards that he's just like that).

There's not much you can do now about next week's party because you've already said you don't want to go and have made other plans. Next time tell him you want to go, but are worried about his friend (rather than you don't want to go because of his friend), this would force him to say something about it/make a decision.

People are often too quick to say 'dump', especially on this forum where they often only hear half-stories, but only you know how the relationship and your boyfriend and the situation really are/were. Try to step into his shoes and try to think objectively/honestly and then make a decision. 2 years is a long time to throw away. Give it a go. Talk to him about how you feel and what you want from him (so many relationships mess up because one of the people keep quiet or don't say what they mean yet expect the other person to know what they're thinking) and see if things change.
Good luck and sorry for the essay-like post! :p:
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