GF doesnt wants sex, been together 2 years now Watch

Jelkin
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#21
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#21
If you lie naked together then it might be best to try to take things really really slowly from there. Maybe you could try massaging each other? In a way I find it strange that even with naked kissing she doesn't get in the mood to take it any further at all. If I were you I'd forget about sex for now - from nothing to sex is a HUGE distance - and try to slowly incorporate slightly sexual behaviour into the relationship, for example touching/caressing her in more intimate places. But obviously talk to her about it. If you're in love and are comfortable naked together then I don't see why she wouldn't be willing to do anything at all sexual.

By the way, there are a few posts you need to ignore in this thread. I think you can work out which ones they are.
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manderlay in flames
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#22
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I think you should turn gay, as you probably give the best handjobs in history.

Seriously though, I like how you said "I'm willing to wait one year", what's wrong with her is it religious or body issues or does she think virginity is some massive thing :s:

Get her drunk, and I mean plastered.
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MiDGE '08
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#23
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#23
(Original post by billyboymccoy)
Shes using you. 2 years is a long time.
haha, what do you think she's using him for if they're not having sex!?!?
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ciara
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#24
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#24
(Original post by Schmokie Dragon)
2 years of no sex? Eeeek. Okay, I'm not helping here.

You love her, you seem sure that you want to be with her and you have waited so far, so kudos for that. You never know when she will be ready so all you can do is make sure she feels happy and secure in your relationship. Anything that worries her about you and your relationship is likely to put her off even more.

Frankly, I think you deserve a medal. Sex is such a primal urge that it takes me a huge level of will power not to try and rape my boyfriend every time I see him.
:ditto: that.

I had a relationship without sex once, which lasted about a year, but the difference was I was 15 and a virgin so maybe not so into sex then, and the reason for the lack of sex was because he was very religious. I think if he just hadn't been ready it might've been easier to deal with, because there is some hope of sex eventually. Good on you for waiting, but I'm not sure I could. Maybe she has her reasons, but it must be difficult for you (resisted the use of the word 'hard').
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manderlay in flames
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Jelkin)
If I were you I'd forget about sex for now - from nothing to sex is a HUGE distance
Generally about 6-12 inches I think, not untraversable
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Local_United_Fan
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#26
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(Original post by Jelkin)
.

By the way, there are a few posts you need to ignore in this thread. I think you can work out which ones they are.
Well I know you mean mine. Yea, you're a 16 yr old girl with little experience. I'm a 20 year old guy with a lot. Hmmmm, best advice giver? Lemme think....

I mean come on, just stop trying to make him feel better will you and look at the facts:

2 years and nothing, even though he REALLY wants to have sex.
Both really young and in the prime of their lives/sexual "peak".
Both virgins - obviously don't lnow what they are missing.

Anyone in their right mind would know the right advice to give. Split up and find someone who makes him happy. You're just plaim dumb if you can't see and accept this, love. No offence.
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xxstace123xx
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#27
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#27
I think it is really good that you have waited for her, but 2 years is a little steep, why don't you ask her friends if she has said anything about it too them, because she may have
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JuLz_FeRn
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#28
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#28
well i'm stumped.
it could be down to her paranoia.. some people simply have intimacy problems..
Without meaning to sound.. harsh or sceptical, but does she at all seem interested in someone else?

Did she have a relationship before your current one that never quite ended?
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qwertyytrewqm
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#29
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#29
(Original post by JuLz_FeRn)

Did she have a relationship before your current one that never quite ended?
No its first relationship for both of us. And im very sure theres no one else.
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tropicalcoconuts3
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#30
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I don't get the big deal with being 'ready' I understand everyone is different, but what do these girls expect to suddenly happen for them to feel ready? Do they think one day they'll wake up and be like hmm I'm gonna have sex today. I lost my virginity at 17 and was only with my bf for like a month, and didn't feel any different about myself after. I think some girls make it such a big deal that losing your virginity is seen as something so 'special' whereas really it's nothing that special! I mean it's important you feel comfortable with the person you're about to lose it to and that, but you too have been together 2 years! How much more comfortable can you be! I'm a girl myself and reading this I feel so sorry for you, I even feel like she's giving you false hope 'I'm not ready yet' have you asked her why she doesn't feel ready? Don't do it in a pressurised sort of way, just ask her what will make her feel ready. I personally reckon she's just scared, but I don't get why someone who has done modelling can't share her body with someone shes supposed to love. 2 years is such a long time to wait, it must make you wonder whether she really loves you, and personally I think she's being a bit unfair on you.
Lots of virgins or whatever will dissagree with me for this post but I'm entitled to my opinion...
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Sanity Panda
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#31
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#31
(Original post by Local_United_Fan)
:rolleyes: "I really want sex but am prepared to wait another a year"

"I don't want to be with anyone else, ever"

You're a b.itch, mate, plain and simple. You don't DESERVE to be using that thing between your legs, and you're gonna end up very hurt looking very stupid at some point in the future. Hopefully this virtual slap-in-the-face will make you see the error of your ways and get you off your arse to do something about the problem.

Don't believe me? Carry on the way you are doing and see.
Are you even in a long term relationship?
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JuLz_FeRn
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#32
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#32
(Original post by Local_United_Fan)
Well I know you mean mine. Yea, you're a 16 yr old girl with little experience. I'm a 20 year old guy with a lot. Hmmmm, best advice giver? Lemme think....

I mean come on, just stop trying to make him feel better will you and look at the facts:

2 years and nothing, even though he REALLY wants to have sex.
Both really young and in the prime of their lives/sexual "peak".
Both virgins - obviously don't lnow what they are missing.

Anyone in their right mind would know the right advice to give. Split up and find someone who makes him happy. You're just plaim dumb if you can't see and accept this, love. No offence.
you may be right in some ways, but the last bit... "make him happy".. not necessarily true.

Sex doesn't ALWAYS = happiness.

It = pleasure YES but happiness is something far greater and is less easy to get.

10 minutes (if you're lucky) isn't all it's hyped up to be. He can STILL be happy and not have sex. If he loves her without the sex then fine! If he can't bear being with her without the sex, fine too. He's done well.
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pap_
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#33
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#33
(Original post by tropicalcoconuts3)
I don't get the big deal with being 'ready' I understand everyone is different, but what do these girls expect to suddenly happen for them to feel ready? Do they think one day they'll wake up and be like hmm I'm gonna have sex today. I lost my virginity at 17 and was only with my bf for like a month, and didn't feel any different about myself after. I think some girls make it such a big deal that losing your virginity is seen as something so 'special' whereas really it's nothing that special! I mean it's important you feel comfortable with the person you're about to lose it to and that, but you too have been together 2 years! How much more comfortable can you be! I'm a girl myself and reading this I feel so sorry for you, I even feel like she's giving you false hope 'I'm not ready yet' have you asked her why she doesn't feel ready? Don't do it in a pressurised sort of way, just ask her what will make her feel ready. I personally reckon she's just scared, but I don't get why someone who has done modelling can't share her body with someone shes supposed to love. 2 years is such a long time to wait, it must make you wonder whether she really loves you, and personally I think she's being a bit unfair on you.
Lots of virgins or whatever will dissagree with me for this post but I'm entitled to my opinion...
:ditto:
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Sanity Panda
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#34
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Meh. People are different.

You might not have cared about being ready, but others might be waiting for some emotional signal.

Ps. Virginity can be special. It's not really for anybody else to say that it's not special.
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JuLz_FeRn
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#35
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#35
(Original post by tropicalcoconuts3)
I don't get the big deal with being 'ready' I understand everyone is different, but what do these girls expect to suddenly happen for them to feel ready? Do they think one day they'll wake up and be like hmm I'm gonna have sex today. I lost my virginity at 17 and was only with my bf for like a month, and didn't feel any different about myself after. I think some girls make it such a big deal that losing your virginity is seen as something so 'special' whereas really it's nothing that special! I mean it's important you feel comfortable with the person you're about to lose it to and that, but you too have been together 2 years! How much more comfortable can you be! I'm a girl myself and reading this I feel so sorry for you, I even feel like she's giving you false hope 'I'm not ready yet' have you asked her why she doesn't feel ready? Don't do it in a pressurised sort of way, just ask her what will make her feel ready. I personally reckon she's just scared, but I don't get why someone who has done modelling can't share her body with someone shes supposed to love. 2 years is such a long time to wait, it must make you wonder whether she really loves you, and personally I think she's being a bit unfair on you.
Lots of virgins or whatever will dissagree with me for this post but I'm entitled to my opinion...
but then it's always different. Some people (myself included) will say that having sex after one month is too fast (for us).

It's a matter of being sure who you're with is worth it. You only get to have your first time once. Sometimes it's a matter of the right time.

2 years is VERY long. I question why it's taken so long but then it's probably something psychological. I can't see any other explanation.
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JuLz_FeRn
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#36
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#36
(Original post by Sanity Panda)
Meh. People are different.

You might not have cared about being ready, but others might be waiting for some emotional signal.

Ps. Virginity can be special to whoever it wants to be. It's not really for anybody else to say that it's not special.
precisely.
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fungirl1234
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#37
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#37
(Original post by tropicalcoconuts3)
I don't get the big deal with being 'ready' I understand everyone is different, but what do these girls expect to suddenly happen for them to feel ready? Do they think one day they'll wake up and be like hmm I'm gonna have sex today. I lost my virginity at 17 and was only with my bf for like a month, and didn't feel any different about myself after. I think some girls make it such a big deal that losing your virginity is seen as something so 'special' whereas really it's nothing that special! I mean it's important you feel comfortable with the person you're about to lose it to and that, but you too have been together 2 years! How much more comfortable can you be! I'm a girl myself and reading this I feel so sorry for you, I even feel like she's giving you false hope 'I'm not ready yet' have you asked her why she doesn't feel ready? Don't do it in a pressurised sort of way, just ask her what will make her feel ready. I personally reckon she's just scared, but I don't get why someone who has done modelling can't share her body with someone shes supposed to love. 2 years is such a long time to wait, it must make you wonder whether she really loves you, and personally I think she's being a bit unfair on you.
Lots of virgins or whatever will dissagree with me for this post but I'm entitled to my opinion...
I completely agree with you 100%.
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emilina
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#38
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if she isnt ready then she isnt ready. you will just have to wait for her. why dont you talk to her about it? ask her why she doesnt feel ready yet and stuff
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emilina
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#39
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#39
(Original post by tropicalcoconuts3)
I don't get the big deal with being 'ready' I understand everyone is different, but what do these girls expect to suddenly happen for them to feel ready? Do they think one day they'll wake up and be like hmm I'm gonna have sex today. I lost my virginity at 17 and was only with my bf for like a month, and didn't feel any different about myself after. I think some girls make it such a big deal that losing your virginity is seen as something so 'special' whereas really it's nothing that special! I mean it's important you feel comfortable with the person you're about to lose it to and that, but you too have been together 2 years! How much more comfortable can you be! I'm a girl myself and reading this I feel so sorry for you, I even feel like she's giving you false hope 'I'm not ready yet' have you asked her why she doesn't feel ready? Don't do it in a pressurised sort of way, just ask her what will make her feel ready. I personally reckon she's just scared, but I don't get why someone who has done modelling can't share her body with someone shes supposed to love. 2 years is such a long time to wait, it must make you wonder whether she really loves you, and personally I think she's being a bit unfair on you.
Lots of virgins or whatever will dissagree with me for this post but I'm entitled to my opinion...
:ditto: to that however

my friend told me after she had sex for the first time that she was really surprised, she had expected to feel different, but couldnt tell me how she was meant to feel different
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Anonymous #3
#40
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#40
(Original post by qwertyytrewqm)
Ok i met my girl at uni. We been togther 2 years now, both 20 and virgins and i love her very much!
The only thing is she doesnt want to have sex. And I really want to. I mean im 20 now and kind of feel like im missing out, you know what I mean? I dont go on at my girlfriend about this but when I have asked why she doesnt want to do it she just says 'im now ready yet'.
Its been 2 years and im willing to wait for another year if necessary because I love her so much and never want to be with anyone else. Im just curious for your opinions on this and how long were you with your partner for when you decided to lose your virginity?
Thanks
Didn't choose to loose it. Trust me, of all the horrible things in life to me that I can shrug off, I can't. I completely understand why she needs to feel ready. I never got that chance.

Think about it, for a girl it's practically scary...to put it crudely men aren't at too much risk of physical pain, it's not 'invasive' in anyway for you. But for girls it's a big emotional decision, she is deciding its ok to let you literally into her body. It's something we don't tend to do on a daily basis.

She'll probably be ready some day, you seem to be stuck in an awful catch 22 where if you mention it it'll probably make her feel worse.

If you want to be with her for the rest of your life....why don't you consider proposing to her? I know I would feel a lot more assured if I could have lost my virginity to someone who promised never to betray the act that requires a lot of trust.

I know it sounds a little extreme, but it's just a suggestion.
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