I'm SICK of My ED Friends! Watch

sugarlumps.
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#21
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#21
Meh. I find this quite upsetting to be honest. I doubt your friends do look down on you at all. I suffer from an eating disorder and I am so unbelievably proud and jealous when I see my friends tucking into food, I try and hide my own personal issues from everyone and never ever ever talk about calories. I would not want any of my friends to go through what I put myself through last year, and I don't really like the stereotypes you've put forward in the thread. I imagine it's hard being the friend that has to watch their friends destroying themselves, but don't take it so personally, ey.
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Anonymous #3
#22
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#22
i had an ED for a while, and i can see where you're coming from. i hung out with my best friend all the time and all we talked about was food, it was literally all i cared about. i went on holiday and it was 4 girls to a room, 3 of us had EDs and spent every evening throwing up after the all you can eat buffet. my friend (who was restricting/bingeing too) came with me to the toilets after i ate a particularly obvious mound of chips and pasta - and instead of me seeing it as her trying to stop me from being sick in a positive way i saw it as her just trying to stop me getting rid of the food so i would be fatter than her. nowadays i am recovered and it grates on me so much when she avoids food and makes a big deal out of it (like "oh i can't believe i ate supper, i had a huuge lunch and promised myself i wouldn't have anything else!" or going on about how she cannot possibly eat carbs). don't get sucked into the group mentality, when people start losing weight around you it's easy for your perception of normality to get twisted.
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InnocentEyes
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#23
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#23
I don't mean to be offensive to some people who've posted in this thread - but are you sure with some of these irritating girls who've been described it's all their eating disorders and not just them being obnoxious? I've had anorexia for a long time but would never dream of bringing other people down, complaining about my weight in public, talking about calories endlessly...any of that behaviour basically
I know that I'm at a low weight, similar to your friend actually OP, but I can't really change that just to make others more comfortable and I just try to be as normal as possible around my friends, y'know?

as far as advice goes to the OP though, I realise you weren't *****ing in the same way as other people in the thread were. I'd imagine it's really difficult having such a high proportion of friends with eating issues and I think if I were you I'd want some distance from it. have you ever mentioned how frustrating it is to your friends? maybe some of them might be more understanding than you expect?
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linkdapink
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#24
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#24
I tried to mention it to a few of my non-ED friends last night, and they were all saying how they also constantly felt as though this girl was looking down on us. It makes me wonder when people on here with ED's say that they're really envious etc, why she does these things, and looks "down on us". I guess its something I need to deal with, and probably just by creating distance
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sugarlumps.
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#25
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#25
Meh. I don't know or have ever spoken to a single person with an eating disorder who looks down on others. Most people with eating disorders feel fat and hideous, to be honest, so there's no room for thinking you're better than other people. Maybe you're all just oversensitive or maybe this girl's got other issues. When I was at my worst, I felt absolutely disgusting and jealous of every other girl I saw who doesn't hate yourself in the way you must do to put yourself through all the **** of anorexia. So yeah. Maybe you guys are just looking at it the wrong way.
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linkdapink
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#26
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#26
Yeah, I kinda agree with that, although she has said some cutting things to me and my friends when we ordered Deluxe Hot Chocolates and the aforementioned cheesy chips. It makes me think that she's probably got something else going on... maybe she's not got a full-blown ED... but I guess its just the way she makes me feel about myself and eating, that gets to me. Oh well... I've taken her to the Doctors three times now, hopefully something will eventually happen!
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diorbaby1687
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#27
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#27
(Original post by Anonymous)
My ex at the time nagged me about food and then we split up, its usually the case.
yeah same happened to me my bf dumped me when he found out
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Vampyrcorn
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#28
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#28
One of my ED friends just genuinely had such a distorted view of what was fat and what was thin that her face would sort of scrunch up in an 'i'm disgusted' was if she saw somebody she considered fat. I remember her telling me once that one of our non-ED (and non-overweight!) friends had 'disgusting' thighs.. I don't think she meant to be *****y I think she was just genuinely confused in her perceptions of weight so I guess it wasn't really entirely her fault. I did feel kind of sorry for her actually.
I sometimes think with the people who go on and on about calories that they do it, not because they want to influence others, but just because they want people to know how stressful they find their ED. Sort of like a cry-for-help. I mean, surely when they talk about the calories in an apple they must know how silly it sounds to other people. I reckon that the people who do it so openly only do it because they want others to think 'oh no, poor girl she needs so much help!' and (as I said before) they are too self-involved to contemplate how it might affect other people. I guess it's not an intentional act to try to affect others. But I don't know.. I'm just going on the people I know like this.
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fn_101
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#29
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#29
I see what you mean OP, and it must be sort of frustrating to be around people who are displaying ED behaviours constantly....worst thing you can do is let yourself slip into all of that mess.

Just speaking on the other side of this, as someone suffering I find it pretty tough when friends don't understand. I mean I genuinely thought one of my closest friends who is generally very supportive had an insight into what it was like for me, then one day said out right, that she really didn't understand what was going on with me. Really hurt. So I can see why perhaps your 'ED friends' sort of group together - same territory and thoughts kinda thing.
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Adarah
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#30
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#30
(Original post by Annie<3)
Adarah i thought that was abit harsh. I have anorexia but im slowly recovering. We are just normal people who have problems with food. It is a mental illness after all not just some desire to look like a model. Im sorry that Linkdapark has had this experience with her friends because id never look down at someone who ate normally all i ever do is look up to my friends and wish i could be normal like them, Id love to be able to eat what I want and not care! As for guys they totally prefer normal girls they dont really go for the anorexic look!
Well, I was being a bit harsh to try and get my point across to the OP that she should try as hard as possible not to develope an eating disorder and so that she realises it is nothing to strive towards.

Sorry I'm only replying now, I didn't see your reply!

I actually don't know any annorexics who look down on others either for eating bigger portions. Maybe it is just my personal experiences, but I do find people with EDs hard to be around. The same goes for people with depression though.
Having never had either, I see them as kind of similar. You end up with a warped view of the world and yourself and it makes you self destructive very often.
A lot of my experiences recently with people of this nature hasn't been very positive though. You end up putting a lot of effort in to help them and get nothing in return and from my cynical point of view, they seem to enjoy the attention. I suppose those who have a serious disorder and who don't flaunt it around all over the place as those who truely deserve the help, because they do want to change and know what's wrong. But some use an illness as a form to get attention and sadly you don't often find out about those who keep it secret, so a lot of mine an others experiences would be based on those who want attention, too.

I do feel bad, because I never meant to insult people who genuinly are ill and who do need help and want it. :no:
Was just trying to make it clear how undesirable a life like that is, especially the kind that she would fall into... namely the kind her friends live, the open, attention seeking one, where it's all about discussing it with your friends and others, being excited about it and not wanting any help at all.
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Lenfer_cest_les_autres
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#31
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#31
I wouldn't say I have an eating disorder, but I'd say I have a problem with food, and often calories and what I'm eating dominate my mind so much that they become frequent topics of conversation with my friends and I can't help but feel that it's had a negative effect on a few.

Basically, if they are judging you for eating, well - to me that's pathetic and shows their selfishness. If they can't allow you to enjoy yourself and judge you for just drinking a hot chocolate - are they really friends? It's a sad and pathetic world to be in - but there's only so far pity and guidance can really help a person without them being willing to help themselves.

If i were you - I wouldn't go out of my way to help the sort of people that knowingly make you feel like crap every day for just eating.
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Anonymous #4
#32
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#32
I know how you feel. I even made a similar thread a few months ago.

Although I've never tried to lose weight or anything, I'm always feeling **** because my weight-obsessed friends go on about how they "can't eat" and stuff. Makes me really really angry tbh.
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*Katie*
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#33
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#33
(Original post by Adarah)

I actually don't know any annorexics who look down on others either for eating bigger portions. Maybe it is just my personal experiences, but I do find people with EDs hard to be around. The same goes for people with depression though.
...
Was just trying to make it clear how undesirable a life like that is, especially the kind that she would fall into... namely the kind her friends live, the open, attention seeking one, where it's all about discussing it with your friends and others, being excited about it and not wanting any help at all.
I completely agree. I have had both, and I honest to GOD cannot understand an ED which involves talking vocally about calories and throwing up together :confused:. That sounds to me more like 'thinspiration' than any ED I have ever encountered. I can see what you're saying about girls with EDs looking upon 'normally' sized people as disgusting, but in actual fact BDD is a really common source of EDs (Body Dismorphia Disorder) whereby the person actually can't see what they really look like, and so think they are really fat. Your friends sound like they are trying to 'outdo' one another, rather than genuinely suffering. I think you have to be warped to consciously want to have problems with food.

Maybe this is too harsh. But the impression I have gotten is that they are comfortable talking about food and the quantities they eat, and look down on others for not eating. That really does not sound like a real ED to me. It could just be because I suffered in silence and this was an unusual thing to do, but even surrounded by 'friends' who modelled with me, some who had such obvious problems eating, it definitely did not feel like a competition over who could be the most f-d up.
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Annie<3
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#34
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#34
(Original post by Adarah)
Well, I was being a bit harsh to try and get my point across to the OP that she should try as hard as possible not to develope an eating disorder and so that she realises it is nothing to strive towards.

Sorry I'm only replying now, I didn't see your reply!

I actually don't know any annorexics who look down on others either for eating bigger portions. Maybe it is just my personal experiences, but I do find people with EDs hard to be around. The same goes for people with depression though.
Having never had either, I see them as kind of similar. You end up with a warped view of the world and yourself and it makes you self destructive very often.
A lot of my experiences recently with people of this nature hasn't been very positive though. You end up putting a lot of effort in to help them and get nothing in return and from my cynical point of view, they seem to enjoy the attention. I suppose those who have a serious disorder and who don't flaunt it around all over the place as those who truely deserve the help, because they do want to change and know what's wrong. But some use an illness as a form to get attention and sadly you don't often find out about those who keep it secret, so a lot of mine an others experiences would be based on those who want attention, too.

I do feel bad, because I never meant to insult people who genuinly are ill and who do need help and want it. :no:
Was just trying to make it clear how undesirable a life like that is, especially the kind that she would fall into... namely the kind her friends live, the open, attention seeking one, where it's all about discussing it with your friends and others, being excited about it and not wanting any help at all.
That's okay , i get that its hard for people to understand if they have not experienced it! I think there is a difference between those who talk about it for attention and those who suffer in silence, i wouldnt openly go on about it. You're are right i wouldnt wish an ed on anyone its pure hell, and im really working on getting better.
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Anonymous #5
#35
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#35
I know exactly how you feel, OP. In secondary school I used to spend a lot of time with two girls, one of whom was anorexic and the other bulimic. They would spend every minute together discussing food (not in a "yuck, I don't want to eat" way, but in a longing "wouldn't it be fantastic to have some chocolate" way which made me really sad) and making comments about everyone who went by - judging their size, laughing at their clothes or hair, and making disgusted faces at their wobbly stomachs or double chins. I have actually heard them make retching sounds when they see people who are somewhat overweight.

I myself am actually overweight (not hugely, but definitely noticeably), so it makes me wonder what they say about me behind my back! I've seen the looks they give me if we're getting changed in the same room, and I know that they deliberately try to get away from me in cross-country runs in PE because they don't want to be associated with a slow, puffing, FAT girl. And it really brings me down. I've seen the hell they go through because of ED, and I know I'll never go there myself - but God, they don't make it easy.

As far as any other people with ED's go - I'm sure that most people manage to remain good friends and nice people throughout their illness. These two people were probably always quite judgmental before they even got ill, and I'm in no way trying to say that everyone with an eating disorder will be this inconsiderate and *****y. But in the end, being hypercritical of others is a recognised symptom of eating disorders so it's obviously something that often affects sufferers - just not all of them, just like not all depressed people cry all the time etc.
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