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Roomate went through my stuff and discovered my dirty little secret. I'm so ashamed watch

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    Sorry but why are you living with this guy? You sound sort of intimidated by him. Move out, it's not worth it.

    Also I doubt he'd write to your boss. I mean it's your word against his, there's no way he could prove it
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    can you seriously not move out and live with someone else. I mean, really? I did read the whole post, but I'm not sure how much leverage he has. If you get yourself back on track and that was just one hick-up on the way to being alcohol free, then if he did say anything, woulnd't it be slander, since you don't really have the problem anymore?
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    Right - my one piece of advice: for the love of God, don't be ashamed of your 'falling off the wagon' as you put it. Most alcoholics have relapses, it's unfortunate but you seem to have overcome it well.

    If you think your ex-gf wants to know in order to help you (which seems to be the implication) then tell her. A grown man does not and should not go around hiding parts of his life from his friends. As for your employer, even if they did find out, I imagine they'd understand the situation.

    Oh yes, insist on a bit more privacy. Other people going through your stuff, random maintenance men wandering around your home and turning things off without your permission - that's quite simply not on.
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    I don't understand why you're living with him?

    Are you in a contract you can't get out of? I don't know much (anything) about tenancy agreements but sureley there must be some sort of get-out-clause.

    Will he be expecting you to pay half of all the energy bills even though he's the one with air-con, and heating on and an unnecessary fridge?!

    And don't be ashamed of yourself; this guy is a jerk and he seems to have pushed you to the brink. You don't need to deal with him.
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    (Original post by L i b)
    turning things off without your permission - that's quite simply not on.
    Hehe.

    You shouldn't be attempting to stay friends with this person, it sounds like you two are too different to be able to have any sort of decent friendship, I'd take steps to move to a different place from him as easily, and as soon as possible.
    You also seem to have a problem opening up to people about your previous problem. It's probably a good idea to tell some friends you trust about it so that they will be able to help if something like this happens again. If you don't have friends you trust, get some! As said above, don't be ashamed of what happened, you've done a great job overcoming it, and any decent person will understand that.
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    your flat mate is a total ******. i don't know why you're putting up with him, can you move out? get your own place? I would HATE to be in that situation and would most probably have resorted to physical violence before now. You've put up with a lot from this winging arsebag.
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    (Original post by curiouslyorange1989)
    does anybody else see the plot of the talented mister ripley here minus murder??
    o **** ye! thats what i was thinking all the way along!

    +1 rep for you!
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    If I found a loads of bottles in my flat mates room, I don't think I would assume they were an alcoholic. And besides, how could he prove it?
    But you need to get away from this guy. He sounds like one of the most repulsive people I've never met.
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    Have you ever been to AA or have a sponser? If you don't and want to get sober I really suggest you go. Sponsers are there to support you through hard times like this.

    As for your room mate.. the only thing you can really do is wait till your tenancy is up and then move into a flat of your own or with a different person. If you talk to your landlord then they might allow you to move out if you find someone to take your room. Or you could call your room mate out on all the things he is doing to break the tenancy agreement and try to get him kicked out.

    He will probably use the fact you are (or were??) a recovering alcoholic as leverage against you, but I honestly admire recovering alcoholics who have managed to stay sober, it's a very hard thing to do. A year was a long time to not relapse and as long as you get this under control quickly then you should be ok. Don't let this spiral back into drinking again. Could you speak to any of your old uni friends about this who could support you through it?

    Also, your boss can't fire you for the fact that you used to be an alcoholic and have briefly relapsed, him writing to your boss is ********, there are so many people in the work place who are 6 o'clock alcoholics without realising (people who look forward to that drink at the end of their work day so much and will without fail have a few glasses of wine every single night) or even the ones who 'reward' themselves with a lunch time drink, so I wouldn't worry too much and I doubt your room mates letter would be seen as anything other than a malicious little brat trying to get his own way.
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    #1

    You can get reassigned, but I'm not sure I want the abuse he would throw at me and threats to out me. And yes, all energy bills are split. That's why he finds it so fun to run he air-con on full when he knows he has an infinite supply of money, whereas I'm living in London on a salary. It's a way of showing his dominance over me. He said yesterday, "how dare you turn it off. It's a mod con and we can use it whenever we want." I explained about energy and he said, "these units use coolant, not power. Look it up."
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You can get reassigned, but I'm not sure I want the abuse he would throw at me and threats to out me. And yes, all energy bills are split. That's why he finds it so fun to run he air-con on full when he knows he has an infinite supply of money, whereas I'm living in London on a salary. It's a way of showing his dominance over me. He said yesterday, "how dare you turn it off. It's a mod con and we can use it whenever we want." I explained about energy and he said, "these units use coolant, not power. Look it up."
    Your roommate sounds like a ****, and his girlfriend sounds like a ***** as well. Of course it's not easy living in London on a salary, but it's still necessary for you to move out ASAP. Having to be a bit tight with money for a while is better than having this manipulative **** making you miserable. His threats are empty and worthless, but his behaviour is unacceptable. Don't just move out, cut this man out of your life altogether. You don't need him, and he's no friend to you. Amen.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You can get reassigned, but I'm not sure I want the abuse he would throw at me and threats to out me. And yes, all energy bills are split. That's why he finds it so fun to run he air-con on full when he knows he has an infinite supply of money, whereas I'm living in London on a salary. It's a way of showing his dominance over me. He said yesterday, "how dare you turn it off. It's a mod con and we can use it whenever we want." I explained about energy and he said, "these units use coolant, not power. Look it up."
    That would be enough for me to find other premises. You're not comfortable with him, he's not comfortable with you...its not really going to work out whichever way you look at it, is it?
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    Move out. It may be a lot of work to do so. But youl feel so much better for it. Id probably have strangled him by now. Good luck with it all.
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    I'd try and move! I was however confused how/why he accused you of wanting his g/f or how she called you a snob when you don't have the money or attitude you do?
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    Has his fiance got a nice rack?
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    (Original post by Usman938)
    Has his fiance got a nice rack?
    No. She's about as far from my type as you could imagine, and I've never really spoken to her, let alone tried it on.
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    yea you gotta try and move out asap :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You can get reassigned, but I'm not sure I want the abuse he would throw at me and threats to out me. And yes, all energy bills are split. That's why he finds it so fun to run he air-con on full when he knows he has an infinite supply of money, whereas I'm living in London on a salary. It's a way of showing his dominance over me. He said yesterday, "how dare you turn it off. It's a mod con and we can use it whenever we want." I explained about energy and he said, "these units use coolant, not power. Look it up."
    I don't know if that's right. We have an air con and my mum tries to keep it off as much as possible as it chews up loads of power.

    If you could get reassigned I think that would be best. You may get a little while of about, but then you'd be out of the situation and it can only get better!
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    Wow, what a total idiot.

    I wouldn't worry too much about him finding out about your drink problem. Signs like that only set alarm bells ringing in the heads of people who are clued up to alcoholic behaviour. Most people who haven't had experience with it would just presume you were a bit lazy and needed to improve your housekeeping.

    If he DOES say anything about, just laugh it off and say, "What?? Alcoholic? I must be a pretty rubbish one cause I have only drank once in the 14 months. You drink more than I do." and that'll shut him up. Most people aren't clued up enough to suss it out, that's why it can be so easy for alcoholics to hide their problems for so long.

    Well done for going a year+ alcohol free!! I admire you for that.

    I think you need to get the ****** outta Dodge though. Move out ASAP, failing the option of doing that, you need to tell him in no uncertain terms that if he starts accusing you of being a thief and going through your belongings again you are going to kick his azz... I know that isn't a very rational solution, but it's what he deserves... Get out though, he is a complete moron.
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    he sounds like a ****. u really should move out, hes a bad influence on u, just remember all that hard work u put into, to quit, has just been ruined by that dork that lives with u
 
 
 
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