Woman issues. She seems to be blowing hot and cold. Watch

Anonymous #1
#21
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#21
(Original post by alenax)
Welcome to the world of women
I hold you personally responsible for this problem of mine.

Do you do this with guys? If you do what are your reasons for doing it?
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alenax
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#22
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#22
(Original post by Anonymous)
I hold you personally responsible for this problem of mine.

Do you do this with guys? If you do what are your reasons for doing it?
Haha what's your name :shifty:

I'm pretty straightforward with guys for the most part, a lot of it is in the girl's head though... she doesn't want to make herself look too available to she backs off to keep the guy's interest, or she thinks that she's making herself a nuisance by being around/friendly all the time so she backs off in case the guy thinks it's too much... and so on.

(Original post by KJ21)
No wonder i turned gay haha
Hey, it's all part of the fun :p:
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KJ21
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#23
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#23
(Original post by alenax)
Haha what's your name :shifty:

I'm pretty straightforward with guys for the most part, a lot of it is in the girl's head though... she doesn't want to make herself look too available to she backs off to keep the guy's interest, or she thinks that she's making herself a nuisance by being around/friendly all the time so she backs off in case the guy thinks it's too much... and so on.
Well, it could drive the poor lad away, so she needs to sort what she wants out
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alenax
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#24
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#24
(Original post by KJ21)
Well, it could drive the poor lad away, so she needs to sort what she wants out
I guess, but like I said, it's quite possibly all in her head. It's not as easy as "sorting it out", it's psychological stuff, women do overthink things.

I think if they have a heart-to-heart then it will make things a lot better because she'll know that he's serious about her and won't have to play games anymore.
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Anonymous #1
#25
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#25
(Original post by alenax)
I guess, but like I said, it's quite possibly all in her head. It's not as easy as "sorting it out", it's psychological stuff, women do overthink things.

I think if they have a heart-to-heart then it will make things a lot better because she'll know that he's serious about her and won't have to play games anymore.
I was under the impression that 2 weeks was waaay too early for a heart to heart? As a girl, what's your opinion on this?
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alenax
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#26
(Original post by Anonymous)
I was under the impression that 2 weeks was waaay too early for a heart to heart? As a girl, what's your opinion on this?
2 weeks? Well, I don't know, not a heart to heart but just a sort of, "look, let's not play games, what's up with the times you act all weird with me? It's not like I'd get sick of seeing you or anything" or something along those lines.

As a girl, I think she's either making sure you're not bored or too comfortable with her (bad experiences in the past maybe?), or just having her own fun, maybe sometimes she wants someone to snuggle up to and get attention from, and other times she doesn't. I'm not saying it's like that but that could be one of the reasons.

Maybe she doesn't want you to think she's a slut for staying over etc. An exaggeration, but you know what I mean.
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Anonymous #1
#27
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#27
(Original post by alenax)
2 weeks? Well, I don't know, not a heart to heart but just a sort of, "look, let's not play games, what's up with the times you act all weird with me? It's not like I'd get sick of seeing you or anything" or something along those lines.

As a girl, I think she's either making sure you're not bored or too comfortable with her (bad experiences in the past maybe?), or just having her own fun, maybe sometimes she wants someone to snuggle up to and get attention from, and other times she doesn't. I'm not saying it's like that but that could be one of the reasons.

Maybe she doesn't want you to think she's a slut for staying over etc. An exaggeration, but you know what I mean.
For starters, I didn't have sex with her.

Too bored or too comfortable? What would you classify as being too comfortable?
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Anonymous #1
#28
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#28
Also, Haven't had sex with her at all, not in the day, and not on any occasion where we've spent the night together.

I kind of want to save it till we both have proper feelings for her. *perhaps stupid romanticism... maybe making up for my past man-whoreishness*
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alenax
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#29
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#29
(Original post by Anonymous)
For starters, I didn't have sex with her.

Too bored or too comfortable? What would you classify as being too comfortable?
I know, but if you slept in the same bed, especially with minimum of clothing... it depends on what kind of person she is/you are, she might feel weird about that sort of thing.

Too comfortable is when you know they aren't gonna go anywhere and stop shaving your legs. Ha. Well for females anyway.
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Anonymous #1
#30
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#30
(Original post by alenax)
I know, but if you slept in the same bed, especially with minimum of clothing... it depends on what kind of person she is/you are, she might feel weird about that sort of thing.

Too comfortable is when you know they aren't gonna go anywhere and stop shaving your legs. Ha. Well for females anyway.
Ok, definitely not in the too comfortable zone then..
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curryADD
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#31
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#31
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks, mate.

I guess I'm a little worried that if i bring up that topic then it might have the effect of pushing her away after only seeing her for 2 weeks.
well, why did they break up? even a cursory knowledge could shed some light on the issue. for instance, if he cut down her self esteem and convinced her she was too clingy she may just be trying to give you your space...in order to convince you that she isn't clingy. she might be worried that too much affection will put you off.
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Anonymous #1
#32
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#32
(Original post by curryADD)
well, why did they break up? even a cursory knowledge could shed some light on the issue. for instance, if he cut down her self esteem and convinced her she was too clingy she may just be trying to give you your space...in order to convince you that she isn't clingy. she might be worried that too much affection will put you off.
She avoids the topic and only talks about "a whole bunch of reasons".
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curryADD
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#33
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#33
(Original post by Anonymous)
She avoids the topic and only talks about "a whole bunch of reasons".
Well, that definitely alludes to "a whole bunch of things that she isn't emotionally comfortable sharing with you at the moment." Especially in the first few weeks/month of a relationship both people are trying to show their best side, it's natural. If somehow she thinks that her best side isn't lovable she may be trying to hide how affectionate she really is. If this is the case she may feel uncomfortable telling you.

If it is the case, and to me, it seems like it could be, if I were you I would do things to subtly let her know how much you value her affection. It might make her feel more comfortable if you casually let slip things like....I love it when you call and we have little chats randomly.....or, I adore it when we snuggle up. If it were me, this would make me feel better about being affectionate.
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Anonymous #1
#34
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#34
(Original post by curryADD)
Well, that definitely alludes to "a whole bunch of things that she isn't emotionally comfortable sharing with you at the moment." Especially in the first few weeks/month of a relationship both people are trying to show their best side, it's natural. If somehow she thinks that her best side isn't lovable she may be trying to hide how affectionate she really is. If this is the case she may feel uncomfortable telling you.

If it is the case, and to me, it seems like it could be, if I were you I would do things to subtly let her know how much you value her affection. It might make her feel more comfortable if you casually let slip things like....I love it when you call and we have little chats randomly.....or, I adore it when we snuggle up. If it were me, this would make me feel better about being affectionate.
Thanks for the tips

She has told me a few things about herself that could put a lot of guys off.. I've let her know that I don't mind about these things, and I was glad that she told me.

I don't want to bring up those issues too much either at the risk of her feeling uncomfortable.. hmm.. maybe she's not 100% comfortable about me knowing these things and worried about what I might really be thinking. Ugh. Confusion.
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