I think you should show her this post.
Turn on thread page Beta
Relationship with my mum watch
- 27-01-2009 20:56
- 27-01-2009 20:58
all i know is that mums of course want the best for you, and if they are modern and understand what is happening with people our age, they usually know best, maybe as previously mentioned need to become more independant with some more sensible professional resposibilities which will show your mum you can cope with wherever you are going or what you are going to do.
- 27-01-2009 21:05
I think your mum just wants the best for you, but just can't express it in a positive way. I think that you should go to uni - moving out will give you both space, and I think your mum will realise that if she wants you to come back in the holidays etc., she's got to start treating you better.
- 27-01-2009 21:06
I do believe a relationship with your mum is a bad idea.
- 27-01-2009 21:07
awww babe. i lived with my mum when i was much younger and she was mentally ill and she treated me just the same. She even locked me in cupboards. now shes locked up in a mental home and im trying to lead a normal life and its so so hard, so i do know how you're feeling. to cope i really just stuck my head in a book, lay on my bed, sang a peaceful song and went to my own imaginary little world that i inhabited in my head. i am severly emotioanlly scarred from her and it gets me down, but now that i dont see her its like a little bit of that pain has been lifted. of course i miss the hell out of her, i mean she is my mum, thats normal, yet im so angry at her. Maybe getting away from her for a while will ease the tension, and you are right, it is your life and she cant decide where you go to uni. i can tell you will go far, i have faith in you. hang in there girl and be strong, and never ever give up on the things that make you smile.
You wont have a breakdown if you believe you wont, and if you do, you'll come out on the other side, like i did
if you want to pm me, please feel free. im here if you need to rant.
be strong girl. xxxxx
- 27-01-2009 21:08
I'd say try and reason with her, but i know all too well how that pans out. Do what you feel is right, get with the guy you want, go to Uni where you want, let her know your turning into an adult, and that she cant control you forever. She will come round over time.
- 27-01-2009 21:26
hey, well to be honest I am speaking from experience here. My mum and I never used to get on-fought constantly,all the usual.
I felt like a failure to her. I moved away to uni and am doing subjects she doesnt like etc etc. Pretty much everything that you've written about has happened to me too
I was home from uni for christmas and we had it out. I told her what I thought about her and how she's let me down as a mother. It's taken me 20 years to pick up the courage to say that to her but something changed. She actually treated me like a grown up and listened for the first time ever.
It's not all her fault-I'm her first child and you can't get everything right first time. But now we're both trying to be friends. We'll never be best friends but its a start.
The point of that ramble was that it won't always be so bad. It may be hard for your mum to realise that you can't learn from her mistakes but that you have make some of your own too.
I know how degrading this sounds but someday you will realise that she's been right about most of your friends. It's most annoying thing but its true.